A/n: This chapter is more about setting things up for the coming chapters than anything else. The next one is almost done, and should be up soon. I am going to do my best to be done by the premier which is ONE WEEK from now! Enjoy!
They had gotten to the hospital just as she was coming out of surgery. The minute he heard she was going to make it, he thanked God with everything he had because if he had lost her, he didn't know what he would do. If only they had gotten to them 30 seconds sooner, they wouldn't be in this situation.
Provenza had tried to stop him, but he had bullied his way into her room. Just sitting there, watching her breathe was enough to bring the tightness out his chest. After he had been sitting there for a while she began moving a little, and eventually she opened her eyes.
"Hey beautiful," he said.
"Andy," she managed after a moment. She closed her eyes again, but when she opened them she had a small smile on her face.
"Listen Sharon, I've got to tell you something," he hesitated, searching her face, but she was still struggling to keep her eyes open. "I love you, ok? And I just needed you to hear it. I love you."
Her eyes were closed, but she was still smiling. He took that as a good sign. Really though, he wanted her to say something, anything. He sat there for a while longer wishing she would talk to him, but she needed to rest. That was more important right now.
As he stood, he brushed a kiss across her forehead, and turned to leave. When he opened the door she finally said, "I know." It was quiet, and at first he thought he had imagined it. Well, it wasn't an, I love you too, but he would take it because at least she was alive and he had told her finally. He couldn't help but smile.
Andrea was standing outside the door when he stepped into the hallway.
"Guess I'm not the only one who uses their position to get past the nurses," he quipped.
"Yeah well, what can I say? How is she?"
"Out of it I think, but she's waking up." He tried to sound positive.
"Good, that's good," she said quietly.
He thought Andrea looked tired; probably she was just as tired as the rest of them. It had been a long week, and she had been stuck right in the middle of all of it too.
"Well, I'll get out of your way."
"Thanks," she stepped toward the door, but caught his arm before he walked away, "Andy, don't beat yourself up. They're safe now."
"Right."
He would try not to.
Sharon had been drifting in and out of consciousness since she came out of surgery two hours ago. The doctors had assured them that everything had gone fine, and she would make a full recovery. Now, sitting next to her bed, seeing her open and close her eyes, Andrea was starting to feel some truth to the doctor's statement.
Amy had filled Andrea in on what had happened and what the team had seen. It was all horrible to hear, and Andrea just hoped that Sharon and Rusty would be able to mentally move past this. She would be there for them and the team would be there for them, but no one knew what they had been through or what they would need.
She was just about to get up and let someone else come sit with her for a while when she felt Sharon squeeze her hand. She turned to see Sharon looking right at her.
"Hey," Andrea said quietly squeezing her hand back.
"Where's Rusty?" Sharon questioned with a raspy voice.
Of course that would be the first thing she asked about.
"He's in the room next door." Andrea could see the relief flash across Sharon's face. "He's going to be fine Sharon," she said trying to reassure her.
"I need to see him," and she made a move to pull back the covers.
"Whoa Sharon! No, you just got out of surgery, you need to stay still." Andrea tried to keep her still, and after a few seconds Sharon quit struggling.
"Andrea, I need to see him."
The look in her eyes was cold enough to put out a fire, and Andrea knew that one way or another, it was going to happen.
"Ok, but let me get a nurse and a wheel chair," she got up and moved to the door, turning back to point at Sharon, "Don't move until I get back."
Sharon just nodded her head. Just outside the door, she walked right into the team. They all shot her questioning and concerned glances.
"She's awake and wants to see Rusty," she said to their unasked questions.
"She just got out of surgery for God's sake. She needs to stay in bed! You told her the kid is asleep right?" Andy said.
Andrea just nodded.
Provenza decided to chime in, "We all knew he would be her concern," he shot a glare around the group. "I'll go get the doctor."
Andrea followed him down the hall in silence.
She let them roll her to his bed, but then had asked to be left alone. She just needed to be alone, and to be reassured that he was all right, to her standards. Before Andrea had left the room, she told Sharon that the doctor would be in shortly to give her the details.
She hadn't expected him so quickly because she had just barely grabbed Rusty's hand when the doctor knocked. She instantly recognized him, even though she hadn't seen him since college.
"Tom?" she questioned.
"You know Sharon. I've thought about looking you up for years, but I never expected to catch up this way," he smiled at her and she couldn't help but smile back. He continued, "You always did have to do things up big."
It was true; in college she had a phase where the flash and flair had taken over.
"Those days are long gone Tom, I assure you. How is my son?" She looked back at Rusty's sleeping face, he seemed peaceful enough.
Tom hesitated and the silence was making her nervous. "How much do you want to know?" he asked.
"All of it," she said quietly, but with resolve. She needed to know, or at least she thought she did.
Tom told her about Rusty's injuries, and the speculation about how he had gotten them. She just sat there shaking her head. Hearing about it had made her sick to her stomach. Then, he told her that they had purposely sedated Rusty in the ambulance and again while she was still in surgery.
"I don't understand. Why, if he doesn't need it?"
"In the ambulance they had him strapped to the gurney, and he couldn't calm down." It was beginning to make sense; he had the injuries to support being restrained. She could understand not wanting to be tied down. "Then, when he woke up here, a nurse was changing his bandages. He was screaming and thrashing around, calling for you. We felt it was best to sedate him, rather than restrain him again so he couldn't hurt himself or someone on the staff."
Her poor baby, that was all she could think.
She couldn't disagree with their choices because if he had torn his stitches or pulled open his healing wounds it would have been worse for him.
"When will he wake up?"
"Probably an hour, maybe two. We were hoping this time when he woke up you would be awake too."
She had nothing to say because it all just felt like it was becoming too much. Stroh had—
"Sharon, you should go rest. You've had a rough few days too, and your battle isn't over yet." She looked from Rusty to find Tom's eyes. He knew about the cancer, she could see it on his face. "I'll have someone get you when he wakes up. You'll be right next door if anything changes."
It sounded like he was trying to convince her, and in theory it sounded good, but no. She couldn't leave him again, knowing how bad things were. No, she needed to be there for him.
"I will wait, but thank you for your honesty Tom. And thank you for taking care of him."
They shared a long gaze, "Don't wear yourself down, you need rest."
She nodded her head, and he left her sitting in the wheelchair next to Rusty's bed.
/
She wasn't sure how long she sat there holding his hands and whispering for him to wake up, but when his arm and fingers started twitching she let out a sigh of relief. His eyes fluttered open, and she felt the rush of panic go through him in the way his muscles tensed and the sound of his rapid breathing.
She squeezed his hand, "Rusty, honey, it's ok. I'm right here."
He was just starting to get his eyes to fully open. As soon as his eyes landed on her he jumped.
"Honey, it's ok," she tried again, rubbing his arm to make him relax.
"You—you're alive," he managed to get out.
"Yes I'm alive. We're both alive."
She didn't know what else to say, and if she had more energy she would try to get out of the chair to comfort him.
That's when the tears began to stream down his face. He curled up in a ball, wincing in pain, clutching her hand, and he cried. She rubbed his back and smoothed his hair telling him it was going to be all right. It was heart breaking, but he needed to get it out. He needed to be able to process everything that had happened, and if this was the first step then she would hold onto him and help him through this step and every step after that.
"I'm sorry Sharon. I am just so sorry."
"Shh you don't have anything to apologize for."
"I almost got you killed, and I'm just so sorry—"
"Calm down. We're both here now. That's all that matters," she tried to reassure him again.
She was exhausted, and feeling weaker by the minute.
"Rusty, I need to go lay down. My room is right next to yours, and the team is in the hallway. Will you be ok if I leave for a bit?"
"Yeah I will be fine, but uh, can you like come back later?"
He was looking very uneasy at the thought of her leaving. "Of course, or how about someone, maybe Buzz, keeps you company, and when I have a little more energy, you can come to my room and we will watch TV and eat something. How does that sound?"
He nodded his head eagerly. She knew he didn't want to be alone, and someone would sit with him; she just wished she had the energy to stay with him herself. "Ok good," she smiled at him, "push that red button on your bed so the nurse can come get me."
As the nurse came into the room, she turned back to Rusty, "You're safe here," she really wanted him to know that, "I love you and I'll see you in a bit."
"I love you too."
The nurse rolled her out into the hallway, and she hadn't expected everyone to still be there. She tried to give them her best smile, but she just felt so weak.
"Captain, is there anything we can do?" Amy asked.
"Actually, Buzz do you think you can sit with Rusty for a while?"
"Of course," he said standing up.
"I told him he could come to my room when I wake up." Buzz nodded. "But um, if you can't stay the whole time could someone switch out with Buzz. He—I don't want him to be alone."
Everyone nodded and she figured they all understood.
