9. The Model Stage and the Dress

Christine slumped against Erik as they snuck through the opera house back to his lair. He didn't take her across the lake again, but instead led her through earthen tunnels that wove their way under Opera Populaire. Tears continued to stream down her face as she let him lead her through the tunnels. Eventually, they reached his lair where Erik laid her down on the bed she had used the first night she had stayed there. "Stay here, Christine," he told her before disappearing deeper into the lair.

Feeling helpless, Christine curled up under the silk blankets and felt herself shaking with sobs. She couldn't get the image of Erik hanging from the gallows from her head, and the longer the image remained, the clearer it got and the harder she cried. She wasn't aware that Erik was back until she felt his hand on her head. "Relax," he whispered. "You're safe now."

"It's not me I'm worried about," she sat up looked at Erik with a tear-streaked face. "Raoul…he…he wants to kill you… He wants to see you executed…"

"Before he can have me killed, he has to find him. I'd like to see him try," Erik responded calmly. He climbed into the bed next to her and held her close to him.

"Erik…did you really kill Joseph Buquet?" she asked, unable to meet his gaze.

He didn't respond at first, which was all the confirmation that Christine needed. She felt the tears coming again, but fought against them as Erik began to answer. "I had to, but not for the reasons you think. I know Madame Giry told you about how she found me, and what I did in order to get free. I know that she thinks I killed Buquet to make a statement over the power I have here… But that wasn't it at all."

"Then why?" she begged, pushing away from him. "Why did you kill him?"

"He saw me," Erik turned away from Christine's gaze. "He knew who I was the moment he saw me, and he was going to get the managers…the police… The only thing I could do to stop him from getting to the police was…" he didn't finish. "I wish I hadn't done it, Christine, but it needed to be done. If the police found me here… Do you really think they'd just let me live out my days under Opera Populaire with my history?"

Christine squeezed her eyes shut as the image of Erik on the gallows returned to her. "I keep seeing…seeing a horrible image… Erik, if they find you, they'll kill you. There won't be a trail, they'll just execute you. I can't stand that… If they took you from me…"

Erik pulled Christine to him, and she willingly rested her head against his chest. She listened to his heart beating beneath his shirt, and let the repetitive pounding soothe her. "Christine…" he whispered. "You can't stay here for much longer. Madame Giry will be looking for you; she'll be worried when she finds that you're not where she told you to wait for her."

"I don't want to leave," she said, burrowing her face in his chest. "I can't leave you."

"It won't be forever, Christine," Erik said, holding her tightly. "But you're not safe here…"

"Are you going to hurt me, Erik?" she asked, refusing to move from her position.

"No," Erik responded, petting her hair.

"Then I am safer here with you than I am up there with Carlotta or Pianga or…Raoul…" she whispered Raoul's name, afraid that if she said it any louder, he would find her.

"I need you to return to the opera house, if only for a while longer." Erik started to move away, but Christine gripped his shirt tightly, trying to keep him from leaving. "You need to go back to your normal routine and get ready for the next showing of Il Muto. Carlotta won't be singing again for a while."

"How can I go back to a normal routine while I know you're down here and Raoul wants you hunted down and killed?"

"You just have to try, Christine." Erik pushed her gently away and climbed to his feet.

"What will you do, then?" she whimpered, brushing the tears out of her eyes and crawling to a sitting position so she could look Erik in the face.

"I'm going to disappear for a while. No one will hear from me while I wait for things to die down… But I won't be gone forever," Erik followed up quickly, seeing the distress on Christine's face. "Only for a little while; it's the best way I can think to ensure that the Buquet incident calms down just a bit."

"Will you still come sing to me at night?"

"I'm afraid we'll have to put the singing lessons on hold while I'm gone, Christine," he said looking sadly down at her. "I think you can go a few weeks without lessons, though. I'm beginning to think there's not much more I can teach you, anyway…"

Christine looked down at the bed, brushing her hand against the blankets. "I don't want the lessons to stop."

"Believe me, Christine, I don't either. But right now, the only thing I can do to stay safe is to disappear for a little while…" Erik turned quickly, and Christine's eyes widened as she realized that someone had come down into the lair. Erik blocked her view, but she could hear him let out a sigh. "It's only you."

"Yes, only me," Madame Giry's voice said from behind Erik. "Is she here with you, Erik?"

"Of course," he said, stepping aside so Madame Giry could see Christine sitting on the bed. "I went to find her after what happened…"

Madame Giry glared at Erik. "And we will discuss what happened, Monsieur. I will be very curious to see what you have to say." She turned to Christine and sat down next to her. "Are you alright my dear? When I didn't find you where I told you to go, I got worried."

"I couldn't stay there, Madame," Christine said, looking at her hands. "The Viscount was there…"

"He was threatening her," Erik said. Christine wished he would come sit next to her and hold her like he had before, but he seemed to want to keep his distance now that Madame Giry had arrived.

"Was he really? If so, he needs to be reported."

"He never said anything, but he was acting strange… He was hurting me again…" Christine looked at Madame Giry with pleading eyes.

"Until he actually says something to you, there's nothing that can be done." Madame Giry shook her head.

"We'll never get him then. Even if he says something, it's the Viscount's word against mine. Whose story do you think the managers will believe, mine or his?" Christine shook her head. Her eyes met Erik's and she felt a chill run through her as she remembered Raoul's words. She really did love this man, even though he might not know it yet.

"Madame Giry, could I speak to her alone one more time before you take her back up?" Erik asked, gesturing at Christine as he spoke. Madame Giry glared at him as if leaving Christine was the last thing she wanted to do, but she nodded, stood, and left the room.

Erik came and sat next to Christine, placing his hand on her shoulder. "I need to know, Christine; what Raoul said tonight on the roof, about you…" he had difficulty finishing, but Christine wanted him to say it himself before answering. "About you loving me… Was that true?" Christine realized that the reason Erik asked was because of the look she had shared with him moments before. He had seen something in her eyes, and wanted to know more.

Suddenly, she remembered something in Erik's lair. Two things, actually, she thought. Christine pulled her hand away and left the room. She sensed Erik following close behind, and she led him to the scale model of the stage he had on the back of his writing desk. Madame Giry stood nearby, watching closely. Christine flinched when she the stage was set for Il Muto and it was Christine in the Countess' dress and Carlotta in the pageboy's outfit. He even had a little Meg, standing nearby.

"I'd forgotten about this…" Christine whispered. She looked back at Erik with sadness in her eyes. "What is this, Erik? What is it really?" she asked, lifting the Carlotta figurine.

"I told you already, Christine…"

"I know what you told me, but I don't believe you. This isn't just your planning tool so things run 'as you want them'. It's something else."

She turned to face Erik and saw him having difficulty looking at her. Instead, he studied a nearby mirror. "It's my vision," he finally spoke. "It's everything I want for you, Christine, everything I hope you'll one day be."

Christine shook her head, putting the Carlotta figurine back. The second thing she had to see was what scared her most. Fearfully, she crossed the room to the cabinet where she knew it was hiding. She grabbed hold of the carpet and pulled it down from the cabinet, revealing the statue made in her likeness wearing the wedding dress. Christine heard Madame Giry gasp, but whether it was in shock or disgust, she wasn't sure.

"And what is this?" she whispered, barely holding back tears. Erik didn't answer. "This obsession you have with my future… with me... Erik, it can't continue. On first glance, it's generous and thoughtful and sweet, but as you think on it harder, it becomes creepy."

"I know," Erik whispered. "I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable..." he seemed at a loss for words for the first time since they had met.

"You wanted to know if what Raoul said about me loving you was true," Christine broke the silence. She felt tears stinging at the corners of her eyes. She turned to face him. "And my answer is yes. I do love you, Erik, more than I have ever loved anyone." Erik's face brightened hopefully at her words. "But, Erik, seeing this," she gestured to the stage and to the wedding dress, "it shows me that there's an obsessive side to you that just...scares me."

"Christine…" Erik reached a hand out to her.

She bit back tears as she responded, "Erik, I want nothing more than to go to you and have you hold me, but I can't. Only a few moments ago, I wanted nothing more than you to stand by me for the rest of all time. But this obsession you have, whether it's for my well-being or to satisfy your own need for glory and love" (she almost broke when she saw him flinch at her wording, but she kept going) "but I think you should do what you originally planned. Lie low for a few weeks…distance yourself from me…only for a while…"

He looked to the ground and closed his eyes. It killed her to see her indestructible angel look so defeated. "It will only be for a little while, Erik, I promise. But…get rid of the stage and the statue, save the dress, but stop trying to write my future for me… Let me live for myself for a little bit. Then we'll come back and see where we stand."

"I want you Christine," he said, looking up at her, his green eyes glowing with pain. "I want you."

She had no idea where her words had come from, but she realized that they were true. Beneath the love she felt for Erik, she also felt fear. Seeing the wedding dress and the stage again reminded her that Erik wasn't just the kind man he appeared to be on the surface. He was also the Opera Ghost, the Phantom of the Opera.

"I know, but I need to know which side of you is stronger," she whispered, coming to stand in front of him. She placed her hand on the unmasked part of his face. "Is it Erik, the man I've come to love," she moved her hand to rest it on the mask, "or the Phantom, the creature I've grown to fear?"

He closed his eyes again and Christine was horrified to see a tear trace its way down the side of his face. "No," her voice cracked as she brushed it away with her thumb. "Please don't, Erik; I couldn't stand it if you did." She moved away from him slowly. "It's not going to be this way forever."

Biting the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from crying even more, Christine turned her back on Erik and started towards Madame Giry. "Thank you for protecting me again tonight, Erik."

Madame Giry took Christine's hand in hers. Before they left the lair, she turned and called to Erik, "I need to know your intentions. What are you going to do now?"

Christine turned to see he had regained his composure. He was standing tall and proud once more. In a confident voice he responded, "I have an idea for an opera I'm going to start writing. And perhaps, I will let this one be performed."