A/N: This was an attempt at bringing in some OCs from Knight's past. The Drell writing doesn't work as well as I thought it did at the time, so be prepared. Many mistakes ahead.

Also, this was meant to be a "filler" chapter so it doesn't do much for the story and we'll see that further down the line.

-Eddy

Chapter 8

It was my first time at the Citadel. As we walked the streets, I could feel people watching us as we passed by them. It looked peaceful, bright, and extremely artificial. In the great scheme of things, I knew there was more than meets the eye to this place.

Suddenly, after we pass what looks like a statue of a mass relay, a pain hits my head. Instantly, I raise a hand to my head. The vision of the statue glowing fills my mind. Then, I see a turian—grey with technology intertwined with his body—Saren. "Knight?" Dr. T'Soni asks and I quickly look at her. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." I lie as the vision becomes longer and more intense. I see Saren raise a gun to his jaw and shoot. He falls as I watch him drop. I feel the sudden warmth of someone's hand on my shoulder and gasp.

"What's going on?" Danial asks as I notice that he's the one holding my shoulder.

"Nothing…" I say and shake his hand off. "You startled me."

"I was standing here the entire time." He says and I turn to continue walking.

"I was just thinking about how this is my first time here." I say and hear someone sigh.

"You're a space rat, yet you never came here?" Kiera asks.

"And put myself in front of officers looking to arrest me?" I ask as I look around me. The place is guarded by many officers. "I didn't always follow the laws of the galaxy, remember?"

"But, you spoke to the council, didn't you?" Danial asks and I smile.

"In a com room on Admiral Coen's private vessel." I say as I start noticing small groups of people held together. Is that normal? "Strange…that seems like—" I say and notice the horrible reality in front of me. I stand still. They are space rats. I never expected to see space rats on the Citadel. I guess a lot has changed in these past fifteen years.

"Knight…" Dr. T'Soni says as she walks next to me. "What's wrong?" She asks as I continue examining the groups. They're separated by age group.

"Those…those are space rats." I say, hesitantly as I see the children, the teenagers, and adults sharing what little they had. Passing credit chits, bits of food, and clothes. This must be their resource stop.

"What?" Danial asks as he stares at the groups of people. "Those don't look like space rats to me."

"Of course not, Danial." I say and look at him. "They're people. Not criminals." I say and look back at the space rats. "This is what a 'true' space rat looks like. Homeless. They travel because they don't have the luxuries to stay in one place for too long." I say and sigh as I see that these people are all aliens—not human. "I wasn't like them…too human."

"Being human gave you trouble?" Danial asks, skeptically.

"More than you would care to understand." I say and continue walking. "You can thank Commander Shepard for that." I say without emotion and realize the bitterness of those words.

"What does Commander Shepard have to do with this?" Dr. T'Soni asks, bitterly.

"Tell me, then: do you see any humans among these people, doctor?" I ask back, matching her bitterness.

"No." She says and I stop.

"Any guesses why?" I ask as I remember my time as a space rat. Ten years of being tormented with the idea of being privileged with the "convenience of being human". Human space rats were hard to understand because, even if they were homeless, they were still offered the chance to make a living. Get a house, start a family, have a good life. It was all bullshit to me, though. That didn't sound like "true" peace to me. It seemed too fake. Too idealistic.

Then, I look back at my group. "Well?"

"Humans are intimidating?" Dr. T'Soni guesses and I shake my head.

"Not quite." I say sharply.

"Humans aren't very friendly?" Kiera asks and I sigh.

"No." I say, again, sharply.

"Human privileges." Danial says and I smile bitterly at him.

"Yes." I say sharply. "Humans are offered many 'benefits' in the cities. Like here." I say and point at the miles of apartment complexes lining the Citadel. "That's why space rats are considered criminal. Especially the human ones—like me." I say and drop my arm down. "I rejected those privileges."

"So, why did you become a space rat?" Danial asks.

"Good question." I say and turn around again.

"I take that as you are not going to answer the question." Dr. T'Soni says.

"Let's keep moving." I say, avoiding answering the question.

"Oh, darn. I was really enjoying that history lesson." Kiera says sarcastically.

As we pass the groups of space rats, I immediately notice them all smiling up at me. No. Wait. Don't tell me. Is this-?

"Knight of kin!" A volus shouts and I put a hand to my forehead. No, not you.

"Excuse me?" Kiera asks as the volus walks up to me with a drell.

"Pharaoh." I say and the drell crosses his arms. "I thought I recognized—" I say and I'm interrupted by a few kids hugging my legs. Oh, no. This is not how I was expecting to reunite with the people I grew up with. Children, even.

This should be interesting.

"Miss Knight!" A small drell child shouts as he tugs on my hand.

"Knight of Kin!" The volus shouts and I blush in embarrassment.

"Knight, care to explain what's going on here?" Danial asks as I bend down to the drell child.

"Don't tell me. Knight are you—" Kiera asks and gasps. "When were you going to tell us?" She asks and I give a short, quiet, laugh. She thinks I'm the mother of this child.

"Kiera, this isn't my child, if that was what you were expecting me to—" I say and notice a teenage drell behind the child. "Kurt." I say and pick the child up as I stand up. Then, I walk to the teenage drell. "The last time I saw you, you were quite younger." I say and the teenage drell, Kurt, hugs me.

"We thought those slavers killed you!" The drell shouts as he hugs me.

"Apparently not." An older drell, an adult my age, says as he walks up to me. "Good to see you alive, Knight." He says and I give the child to Kurt.

"I never thought I'd see you here, Grahm." I say and he smiles. "It's been…fifteen years."

"Knight? Care to explain what's going on? Now would be a good time." Danial asks and I remember that I came with a group.

"I'm Grahm, Knight's…Well, I'd like to think I'm like what you humans would call a 'brother'." Grahm says and looks as if he might shed a tear as he looks at me again. "It is as what Kurt said. We all thought you were dead."

"Grahm…I'm sorry, I—" I say as I try to tell him that I'm an Alliance soldier. He doesn't know.

"I can tell from your armor that you're Alliance, Knight." A batarian's voice says as he walks to us.

"Katar." I say and feel myself start to shake. "No…not you."

"Cut the crap!" He shouts and I brace for the impact of a blow. "You were supposed to be dead!"

"You're Katar?" Danial asks, angrily. "You abusive son of a—" He shouts and I stop him before he hits Katar.

"Danial, stop." I say, sharply. The others don't know about the abuse I went through. By the looks of things, they still don't. And Katar is still the leader. Not to mention that there are innocent children here. "Katar, I didn't come here to harm anyone." I say and bow my head. "Please forgive…my comrade's behavior." I say and force Danial to bow with one of my hands.

"Good. You humans are always so brash." Katar says and crosses his arms. I look up and relax the hand on Danial. "I bet you get luxurious suites and culinary delights by now."

"What?" Danial asks, dumbfounded.

"Since when was that a thing?" Kiera asks and gives a small laugh. "If only that were true…"

"Shut it, human!" Katar shouts and looks at Grahm. "We're leaving in ten. You make sure everyone gets on the shuttle in time."

"Yes, sir." Grahm says and Katar storms away.

"You must be Katar's new second in command." I say and Grahm nods solemnly.

"Why do you take children with you?" Dr. T'Soni asks.

"Dr. T'Soni, these children are—" I say and Grahm interrupts.

"Dr. T'Soni?" Grahm asks and I put a hand to my forehead again. I bet he just can't wait to spill all of my childhood secrets. "Knight has told me a lot about you." He says and I look away in embarrassment. "I'm glad you two finally had the chance to meet."

"What did she say about me?" The doctor asks, cruelly. It's like she's doing this to make me blush more. If it is, it's working.

"She admired your work on the Protheans. I believe she read every page of every essay, journal, and novel you wrote." He says as I feel my face go numb from nervousness. "She's a big fan." He adds, sinisterly. He's doing this on purpose. I hear Kiera and Danial trying to desperately hold in their laughter.

Fantastic…

"Oh, really?" The doctor asks, suavely. This sends a chill down my spine. It makes my hair stand on end. She's a bit scary right now. Well, maybe "scary" isn't the right word. "Do you remember her favorite work of mine? She has…neglected to tell me." No, "scary" is the perfect word.

"Oh, that one is easy to answer. It is 'Adventures with—" Grahm continues and I quickly put a hand over his mouth. 'Adventures with a Prothean' was always my favorite.

"I think we've heard enough, Grahm." I say as I stare into his eyes with anger.

"Okay, okay." Grahm says and I relax my hand as I pull it away from his mouth. "Why don't you keep the children company? I would like to share a few words with your new friends." He asks and I see the children staring at me with wide, pleading eyes. How can I refuse?

"Just try not to share too much about me." I say and start walking away, towards the children. The children look happy to see me as I walk up to them.

"Knight of Kin!" The volus, Pharaoh says as he joins in. He's a special case, isn't he? Had a little too much red sand in his day. He never changed. Still the same insane volus from my childhood. The only thing new here are the children, who seem to be normal, healthy children. The only difference is their new part in society—as space rats.

"I see you're still doing what you do best, Pharaoh." I say as I smile at him.

"Janok Knight. Knight of Kin!" He says happily. This sends an eerie chill down my spine. The name from my dream. How does he know it?

"Where did you hear that name?" I ask and the children rush in to hug me. I'm forced to focus on the children and ignore the volus. Some of the children were trying to get me to play with them. I just silently smiled at them as I let a few stand on my back. Then, accepting the challenge, I let this child ride on my back. It was the drell child. While I run a few feet with the child laughing happily on my back, the other children follow me. The drell child and the other children continue laughing as we turn to return to where we started. I see Liara, Danial, Kiera, and Grahm smile at me. I don't think I've ever showed this side of me to them—well, except for Grahm. I've always been good with kids. And I've always had a reputation for giving piggy-back rides.

Children are so easy to please. Most of the time, anyway.

Minutes pass until I hear Grahm call to the children. When I walk up to Grahm and my group, I notice them looking like they had mixed feelings of grief and happiness. "It is time to go." Grahm says and I take out a hand to shake. He quickly grabs my hand and pulls me in closer. He gives me a quick hug and I smile. "You will get through this. You always have." He says as I feel his breath quicken.

"You too Grahm." I say and pull back from him. "Remember our promise."

Before I left Grahm over fifteen years ago, I told him to make me a promise. It was from the religion he practiced at the time, so I hoped it would hold a greater meaning to him. I told him, if anything were to happen to me, I would be waiting for him at the sea by the shore. He promised to hold me to it.

"If anything happens…Knight, wait for me to meet you at the sea-" He says and I smile with a sense of sadness.

"By the shore." I finish and he sighs. "Stay strong, Grahm."

"You too, Knight." He says and slowly starts walking away. I watch as the children follow close behind him.

"You lied about not having a family." Dr. T'Soni says and I smile.

"I am a liar." I say and notice Kiera trying to hold back tears.

"I wasn't expecting that." Danial says as I see the space rats disappear into the crowd of people.

"You never seemed like the type to play with kids." Dr. T'Soni says. "In fact, I never thought of you as the playful type." She continues and smiles slyly. "Very unexpected."

"Well, I…" I say and clear my throat out of embarrassment. "I, uh…" I say as I try to find the words to explain to them that I wasn't always violent.

"Wait. Are you blushing?" Danial jokes and I look away.

"No." I lie as I feel my face become warmer. "There was a time…before I became a criminal, you know?"

"They're the only space rats that don't see me as just a human." I say and turn around, away from them. "It was…good to see them again."

"Not that." He says and I freeze. "Everything." He says and sighs with a slight laugh. "You, how you reacted to the kids, and you…reading Dr. T'Soni's works?"

"I have to admit. That part was the most interesting." Kiera says through a quick breath through her nose. "You can read those?"

"The Protheans are an interesting species." I say with a sly smile. "Besides, I had to be doing something before becoming a 'thieving criminal'."

"Would Commander Shepard have anything to do with that as well?" Dr. T'Soni asks.

"Maybe." I say and start walking. Again, I ignore the question. "You know, I don't think I've ever had a chance to sight-see."

Later, back on the Normandy, I sit in the darkened starboard observation deck. As I look at the stars, I feel someone walk into the room from behind me. "Knight." A familiar voice says. It's Liara. "Are you thinking about Grahm?" She asks and I sigh.

"Him…and those children…" I say as she walks in front of me. "Liara, I cut ties with that group a long time ago. I never wanted to face them again."

"Why is that?" She asks and I look up at her. She has her arms crossed. "They are your family."

"They were." I say and sigh. "I apologize…for what I said at the Citadel. I find it easier to blame other people than to blame myself." I say and she uncrosses her arms. "Commander Shepard is the one person I find myself being compared to. It's a lot of pressure I put on myself." I say and give a sarcastic smile. "The statue of the mass relay brought up some…shocking visions of Saren."

"Is that why you avoided answering Danial?" Liara asks. "You were pale when he asked you. It seems he cares for you." She continues as I notice her trying to rationalize her thoughts. "He doesn't know about your visions, does he?"

"No." I say and she gives me a small smile.

"You never answered my question about your motivations for reading my writings of the Protheans."

"I think I answered it already." I say, trying to hide a bit of my feelings.

"A simple 'maybe' does not count." She says and I feel her sit down next to me. "You read my writings of the Protheans. Did that factor into your research on Shepard?"

"No." I say, honestly, and look at her. "Not at first." I continue as I think about having data pads surrounding me. "I was curious…"

"About the Protheans?" She asks and I smile.

"No." I say and rest a hand over hers. This is embarrassing. "You." I say and feel my face become warmer. She smiles at me, slyly. "You…intrigued me." I continue as my heart starts beating faster.

"Oh?" She asks and raises a gentle, warm hand to my face. "What about me was that interesting?"

"At first…I admired the way you wrote." I say and slowly brings her face towards mine. "Then…"

"Then, you found out what Shepard and I had together." She says as I notice a hint of sorrow in her eyes. Slowly, and calmly, I raise a hand to her face. Gently, I lay my hand on her cheek.

Calmly, I say, "Then…I learned the true meaning of jealousy." I drop my hand away from her face as she pulls me closer to her. My heart starts drumming in my chest, but I'm calm. I know Liara won't hurt me. Slowly, I close my eyes. Instead of kissing me, she hugs me. She holds me tightly against her chest. I hear a loud thump from her chest. Is her heart beating as fast as mine?

"You don't need to feel jealous anymore." She says and I feel her gentle hands on the back of my head. "It feels like forever since I've felt so strongly for someone…as I do for you."

"Liara…" I say and wrap my arms around her. "I—"

"You do not need to say anything." She says and loosens her grip on me, just enough for me to look up at her. "I know you do not understand your own feelings that you have for me." She says and I smile. "What?" She asks as I look into her eyes.

"I was just thinking about how you would make a good mother someday." I say and she smiles suavely.

"Oh?" She asks and I feel my face warm up. Did she take that as a flirt?

"I didn't mean it like that." I say, nervously. Then she softly laughs.

"I know." She says and I sigh in relief. "Besides, I am already the mother of a child."

"Wouldn't her father be a bit jealous that I'm in the arms of the mother of his child, then?" I ask and she gives me a light kiss on my forehead.

"Who knows?" She asks, rhetorically. "She's not of this world anymore."

"Liara…" I say and slowly raise a hand to her face. As my hand reaches her face, I see a vision of Commander Shepard doing the same thing. Then, as I'm pulled back into reality, I notice that Liara is holding my hand to her face while she smiles at me. There's nothing I can say to express my feelings. Gratitude that Liara had someone like the commander, who held on until the very end—not willing to let go of her special person. Sadness that they both had to experience the ultimate sacrifice. And anger that they never had the happy ending they deserved. Weariness for the fatherless daughter Liara had to raise on her own. Empathy for the loneliness both of them must have felt. Lastly, I feel the need to protect this person. Liara is special to me.

How can I be so cruel to her?

There is no possible way I could be as good to her as Shepard was.

Still, my heart has never beaten this way for anyone but her.

Is this what love feels like?