Thanks to Kitty and Prettyflour for prereading!
I own nothing of course.
Chapter 9
When I saw Edward in my room later that same evening, I told him exactly what I wanted.
"I want to be like you, Edward."
*SIFY*
"Bella," Edward groaned. "Not this, please."
"Listen, Edward," I said sternly. "You've given me your reasons why the way you live is not the something you'd choose for me, but to me there is only one reason why I know it is right. I love you, and I know many will say it is nothing more than a young girl's infatuation with a boy she cannot have, but I know better. If you turned and walked away from me right now I know with absolute certainty that never in my life would I ever feel about anyone else, the way I feel about you."
As I spoke Edward's face softened. I noticed a smile play on the corner of his mouth so I continued to say my piece. "Imagine I stayed as I am… what life could I expect here in Winnetka? Phil has tried to control my every move recently and I cannot think of anything worse than having to tolerate that for much longer. I know what I want and you cannot change my mind, Edward. Please at least consider?"
He held my face in his hands and kissed me lightly. "Isabella Swan, how can I refuse you after hearing that?"
"So it's a yes?" I asked, but to my confusion he shook his head. "It's a no?"
"It's not a no, Bella," he murmured. "It's a yes with a few terms."
"What terms?" I eyed him suspiciously.
"I know you say that you're sure of your decision, Bella, and I do not doubt your sincerity at this very moment." He sat down on the bed, pulling me into his lap. "However, like it or not, you are sixteen and the only life you know is here in Winnetka. What about your career in nursing? What about going out into the world and experiencing different things?"
I scowled. "Carlisle is a doctor and your family have been all over the world I'm sure. One thing I've discovered about you, Edward, is the sheer normality that accompanies such an abnormal existence. I can experience the things I want, and I want to experience them with you."
"Bella, this life as you see it takes practice. We had to spend years and years controlling the most basic of desires, ignoring the thirst and learning how to act like a human. You would have to wait a long time before living like this was a possibility." He brought my hand to his mouth and kissed it softly, before turning it over and running his nose up and down my wrist with the merest of touches. "To be like this with you would have been a very different outcome had I attempted it immediately after my change. There was no way I could kiss you, touch you, breathe you like this without hurting you… killing you."
My eyelids fluttered as he moved his face to my throat, this time kissing every inch of exposed skin. His ice cold breath sent shivers of pleasure down my spine and I moaned involuntarily.
Edward pulled away and smiled. "Can we discuss my terms now?"
"I agree to listen to your terms, that's all," I told him.
"You will be seventeen soon, Bella. I ask you to give me a year here in Winnetka, and then a year out in the world doing whatever you like—as a human. I want to do things right with you because you have an opportunity none of my family did. You have the choice to decide your fate. Finish your home schooling, spend time with your mother, stepfather, and friends. Make sure that your decision to walk away forever is the right one before it's too late to go back." He laughed as I scoffed. "I know Phil is overbearing but maybe when you are an adult your relationship could change?"
"So what happens when I'm eighteen?" I asked.
"Whatever you please," he said with a wide smile. "I will take you wherever you want to go so you can see whatever you choose to see. If you want to travel overseas I will help make that happen for you. I want you to experience things in this life, Bella, as much as possible, because you can't get the chance again."
I thought about what he said for a second. If I waited, the only thing that would change would be my age. I would be nineteen… still so young in comparison to Esme and Carlisle when they were changed. "What about you and me, Edward? What will our relationship be?"
"I'll be whatever you want me to be, but I admit I would be rather partial to calling you my wife." I gasped and he laughed. "Look at your reaction! You want me to condemn you to eternity as my mate, yet the idea of being my wife is frightening to you?"
"Not frightening at all. You just took me by surprise," I said. "What if I change my mind and want to stay human? I won't of course, just humor me."
"If that was your decision then I would stay with you for as long as was physically possible. If you wanted to stay human without me at your side, then I would let you live a normal life." His hold on me tightened slightly. "I love you, Bella, and for that reason making sure you are happy and safe will always be my number one priority—whatever sacrifices I have to make in order to make that happen."
I smiled, feeling elated that he'd actually agreed to this... to me becoming like him. I knew it wasn't a simple choice and I knew that there would be consequences to my decision, but I would deal with that later. Right now I was going to enjoy just being with Edward and discovering more about myself and who Isabella Swan really was.
"Okay," I said, my smile growing wider and wider. "I agree to your terms, Edward."
"You will?" he asked. "Well, I thought your stubbornness would have made that discussion much more difficult."
"We came to a compromise." I looked up at him. "And I'm not that stubborn. I just know what I want, Edward. You."
I was lying on the bed with Edward hovering over me before I even finished speaking. He grinned at my shocked expression and placed a tender kiss on my lips. "And I want you, Miss. Swan."
My heart began to drum in my chest as I tried to figure out in exactly what context he was talking. "You do? I want you t-t-too, Edward," I stammered and craned my head up to kiss him. My lips had barely brushed against his when he groaned, and rolled onto his back, covering his eyes with his arm.
"Bella," he said with a long exaggerated sigh. "We've talked about this."
"I just thought you meant… never mind," I said and bit down on my lip.
"Look at me," he said, tilting my head up so he could meet my eye. "When and if you decide your future lies with me I promise you there will be nothing we can't do together. I just can't… not now, not while you're human."
"Okay," I replied, not entirely surprised with his response.
"Bella?"
"Mm?"
"Are you upset with me?"
"No."
I heard him sigh. "Yes you are."
"No, I was just thinking."
"About?"
"Practice makes perfect." I felt my cheeks redden and I was thankful for the darkness of my bedroom. "I thought that if we took things really slowly… if we were extra careful then you never know, we could do that, too."
"I don't know…" Edward trailed off, staring at me intently. I could only see the faintest outline of his face in the dark, but I could feel his eyes burning into me, searching for something. "What if I hurt you?"
"What if you didn't?" I pressed, letting my hands drift up and down his chest and stomach slowly. "What if it was the most perfect, perfect moment?" I contemplated trying to open one or two buttons on his shirt, but didn't want him to think I was too forward.
Edward placed his hand over mine, closing his fingers around it and slowly raising it to his mouth. "Bella," he murmured, kissing each of my fingertips. "I seem unable to deny you anything, but…"
"I hate buts," I grumbled and he laughed.
"Let's just take things slowly for now. Imagine you and I were courting and I was seeking your father's approval. It's bad enough I spend each night with you alone in your bedroom without his permission, I would rather keep one area of our relationship proper… for now at least." He continued to kiss my fingers, and even that simplest, most innocent of gestures had my entire body alight with sensations and feelings that had only come to the surface after Edward appeared in my life.
"For now," I whispered and he nodded. "Okay. I'll try to be patient, for now."
"It's almost your birthday. Have you given any thought to what gift you would like from me?" he asked.
"I suppose spending an entire weekend with you is out of the question?" I said.
"I think that may be difficult, yes." He paused before adding, "Is that something you would want if I could make it happen?"
I nodded vigorously. "I couldn't think of anything I'd rather have. We could go to New York and maybe even see a performance on Broadway. It's somewhere I've always wanted to go, but so far not had the opportunity. I suppose that is one of the things we could do when I turn eighteen?"
"Whatever you want, Bella." He grinned. "But what about your seventeenth birthday?"
"Really, there is nothing I can think of, Edward. As long as I spend as much time with you as I can, I'll be as content as could be."
*SIFY*
"Do you like it, Darling?" my mother asked eagerly as I looked at the new dress I'd been given for my birthday. "I bought it on my last visit to the city and spared no expense. I think it will suit you just beautifully, you can wear it tonight when we celebrate your special day."
I forced a smile. The dress was really pretty, but the idea of spending the entire night with the soul destroying people at the club was utterly depressing. The punishment imposed on me after the evening I went to Chicago had yet to be lifted, so I had hoped a nice dinner with my parents would have sufficed, but apparently not.
I knew pretending to be ill would not work this time, and I also knew that should Edward and his family turn up at the club, whether it be invited or uninvited, there would be no way my father would permit me to dance with him as he had done before. Although, with Phil's influence in this town, I doubted very much they were welcome anywhere anymore.
"We will need to leave around six, Isabella," Phil said.
"That's much earlier than usual?" I mused. "Are we not going to the club tonight?"
My mother laughed and clapped her hands. "Absolutely not, Isabella. Your father and I have been talking about your recent escapade to Chicago. We feel that maybe, in trying to keep you safe here in Winnetka, we haven't allowed you to really experience life in other places. So, we are all spending the evening together in Chicago. Phil has managed to secure the most wonderful present."
I looked over at Phil who looked extremely pleased with himself. "Tonight, there is a very special screening of a new movie called The Maltese Falcon. Its official release date isn't until next month, however, they have invited just a select number of people to view it in private tonight at the Royal in Chicago. I am especially good friends with the owner of the theatre, so naturally, we were invited to attend."
"Oh, goodness," I said, hoping I sounded appreciative. "Thank you, that is wonderful."
"These are just a few of the benefits to a life such as this, Isabella," Phil said. "Plan your future well and you, too, can expect to enjoy the finer things."
Great, my birthday "present" was actually just another way for him to show off and try to instil into me, the mind set to be a sheep and follow the money and power for the rest of my life. Did he really think a private viewing of a movie would be enough to sell a lifestyle to me? Did he really think me that shallow and narrow minded?
I decided not to become embroiled in another argument about what I planned to do with my life and instead smiled politely, thanking him once again and insisting I was looking forward to it immensely.
"We're having dinner with Phil's friend before the preview, so please mind your behaviour, Darling. I would hate for you to embarrass your father in prestigious company," my mother told me and I rolled my eyes.
"Of course not, Mother," I said. "Would it be okay if I went for a walk on the beach? It is still a nice day and I would love to spend some time outside."
"Be back before three," Phil said sternly. "Birthday or no birthday you are still earning back our trust and we do need to leave early. I'll have Ms. Cope assist you as soon as you return."
"Thank you," I said happily and skipped to the door. I saw Ms. Cope waiting with a jacket and I giggled. "Were you listening?"
"I was curious," she whispered. "I heard your parents discussing the plans for your birthday and wondered what your reaction would be. You seemed happier with the permission to go outside than you did your gift."
I nodded. "I actually wish they would go to the club as they usually do. I won't get to see Edward until tomorrow now and I was hoping to spend some time with him tonight."
Ms. Cope shook her head. "That boy must be very special."
"He really is."
I let her help me with my jacket and then all but ran to the beach. Instead of walking in the surf, I headed straight for the tree line, knowing that Edward would be there. I didn't need to call out or even search for him, because the second I was out of sight he appeared right before me.
"Edward," I said and threw my arms around his neck. "I missed you."
"It has seemed like a long morning without you," he murmured, kissing my neck. "And now I won't get to spend the evening alone with you."
"Between you and Ms. Cope, I doubt any conversation the Dwyer household goes unheard," I said and he chuckled. "I would much rather be with you than go to this screening. "
"It will be a very special experience," he told me and I scoffed. "Really, Bella, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. I hear even the star of the movie will attend."
"How do you know that?" I asked, pulling back to look at him. He was grinning smugly. "Edward?"
"Let's just say that it isn't only Phil who has friends in high places." He winked at me and I gasped.
"Will you be there?"
He nodded and I squealed with delight. "We need to play it very carefully, Bella. My father is acquainted with the owner of the theatre and after Phil decided to try and impress you for your birthday, Alice may have persuaded Carlisle to call in a favor with the owner."
"Oh my, Edward, that is just amazing. I am so excited. That is the best birthday present I could have wished for." I stood tall on my toes and kissed him. "Thank you."
"That isn't actually your gift, Bella," he said. "I took the liberty of leaving you a little something beneath your pillow after Ms. Cope made up your bed this morning."
"You are too wonderful," I breathed and kissed him again.
This time Edward kissed me back passionately. His hands held my face firmly and his body pressed up to mine, backing me against a tree. I held onto his sides, happy for him to take the lead because I honestly had no idea if I should be pushing him. Ever since our talk, he had remained insistent about taking things slowly, but even I had noticed a difference in the way he kissed and held me.
My breath was shaky and I moaned as he caught my bottom lip in his mouth and sucked it gently, before kissing me again. The coldness of his touch against my flaming hot skin felt almost erotic, and my mind was awash with images of our naked bodies pressed together. I allowed my fingers to untuck his shirt and slip beneath the fabric, lightly tracing the sides of his chest with my fingertips. This time it was Edward who moaned, equally as affected as I was. Feeling particularly brave, I reached around his back and held onto him, trying to pull him even closer if that were possible. Edward didn't react at first, nothing seemed to interrupt this moment, but then just like that, he was gone.
The action was so sudden I almost stumbled forward and when I opened my eyes I expected to see him a few feet away, apologizing for getting carried away, but instead he was facing away from me, crouching and looking into the distance at something I couldn't see. I was just about to ask him what was wrong, when he snarled, similar to the night in Chicago, but this time in the most terrifying way.
Again I looked in front of him and there in the trees, I saw a dark shape beginning to emerge. I kept my eyes glued to its form, trying to work out what it was exactly, but the more I saw the more frightened I became. It was animal, of that I was sure, but its sheer size was like nothing else I'd ever seen. The fur was the darkest of black and as it neared I saw it had the same characteristics as a wolf. I could hear a growl emanating from it; echoing in the air, and its top lip was curled up, revealing huge teeth. I almost couldn't see the eyes; they were so incredibly black… it truly looked like something seen only in a nightmare.
"Edward," I whispered, my voice shaking for entirely different reasons now.
"Run, Bella," he hissed.
"What about you?" I protested, taking a step closer to him.
"Go, Bella, straight home."
"But-"
"Now!" he said it with such a tone to his voice I didn't dare argue.
I nodded once, and keeping my eyes on the beast I began to back away, not daring to turn around and run until it was almost out of sight. I saw Edward take a few steps closer to it, trying to shield my retreat from its line of sight.
I continued to walk backwards, paying no attention to the ground when all of a sudden I was stumbling. My foot had caught in a branch and I spun around trying to right myself. I snatched around me, but there was no time to stop and I hit my head hard against a tree stump and fell into a heap.
Dazed and disoriented it took me a few seconds to gather my bearings and stand up. When I did I felt a trickle of warmth down my forehead and I touched it tentatively with my fingers. I winced as I did, and then I saw the blood.
"Ow," I whispered and placed my hand over the tender spot, trying to stem the bleeding. I was so distracted with my fall I had all but forgotten why I had been running in the first place. A vicious roar reminded me and I spun around to see the beast approaching me, now in between Edward and me.
"Edward!" I screamed and looked around frantically for him.
The animal roared again and I saw it turn back to face away from me, its head low as if it was hunting and ready to strike. When I saw what it was in fact hunting, I was frozen to the spot. Its eyes were fixed firmly on Edward, but he didn't even seem to notice. Instead, he was staring straight at me, a look in his eye that I had never seen before. It was dark, intimidating, and in truth I didn't know who to fear the most—him or the beast.
"Edward," I said nervously. His hands were balled in fists at his side, and it looked as though his entire body was shaking. "Edward."
He took the smallest step to the left and the beast covered his movement, shielding me from him. I didn't move an inch. I had no idea what to do. My mind was screaming at me to run, but my heart was begging me not to leave Edward alone with the monster in front of me.
I lifted my foot, ready to take a step forward but again the animal roared loudly, almost hurting my ears with the noise and I put my foot back down quickly. Edward didn't take his eyes from me, he seemed oblivious to all else around him.
"Edward," I said, almost crying with sheer fright. "What's wrong?"
I reached forward with both hands; instantly removing the pressure from my wound, allowing more blood to run down my face and then I saw it, the faintest of twitches in Edward's posture and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was about to take another step, when all of a sudden I was falling backwards, pain coursing through my chest. I hit the ground with another thud, and saw nothing but a blur in front of me accompanied by a chorus of growls and yelps.
"Bella!" I heard a frantic voice in my ear and the face of Carlisle Cullen came into view and was the last thing I saw before everything went black.
A/N Yeah, sorry about that ending! Apparently I'm a cliffiequeen ;) At the moment I'll probably be posting every second Wednesday... at least until I have more chapters in reserve!
Thanks for reading and reviewing I absolutely love reading them… completely makes my day!
Bye for now,
Katy
xx
