A/N - Hello again people! I know, I've been gone so long you've probably forgotten this fic even exists. Seems all I do is apologise for leaving. But hey, here's another chapter, and its nearly double my average chapter size as a little treat for you. I kinda wrote myself into a hole last chapter, but I managed to write myself out and stay realistic. I actually like this chapter for once, so I hope you guys do too
Disclaimer - I've done a lot of things in the time I've been gone. But one of the things I haven't is become Lin, therefore any recognisable characters are not mine. (I know I've been trying to become lin for ages now, no progress yet)
Warnings - Anxiety, kinda eating disorder, mention of bullying, mentions of past child abuse in passing, mention of medication for depression and anxiety

As it drew closer to the time they were leaving, Alex felt dread grow stronger inside of him. I don't think I can do this. I don't want to disappoint Gil, though. Alex didn't know what to do. Gil's friends were coming at 11:30 and Alex only had 15 minutes left to get ready and prepare himself. He'd spent the past several hours panicking and trying to calm himself down. This is ridiculous, he thought, I can't even think about going to a shop without dissolving into fear. I'll for sure make an idiot of myself if I turn into a blubbering mess in public. I really shouldn't go. I would just get in the way, anyway, Gil didn't really want to go out with me, he just felt obligated to invite me. Alex had decided he wouldn't go. The only issue now was telling Gil he wasn't going after he'd already agreed. He just sat on his bed, alone with his thoughts, completely unsure of what to do. Suddenly, he heard a knock on his door before an overexcited Gil bounded through,

"Mon Ami! Are you ready?" He called excitedly. When he saw Alex sitting on the bed, shrunken in on himself, his eyebrows furrowed and he touched Alex on the shoulder lightly. Ignoring the slight jump at his touch, Gil looked into Alex's eyes, "what is wrong, Lion?" Alex stared at his shoes as a tear slipped from his eye,

"I c-can't," he said shakily as several more tears made their way down his face.

"It's okay, mon petit. It is hard for you, I understand. Me, Laurens and Herc can get your things for you while we are out, and after, we can watch a movie with you, If that's okay," Alex hugged Gil, tears streaming down his face as he thanked him. Downstairs, Alex could hear the doorbell ring followed by Herc's voice booming through the house. Gil stood up smiling at Alex before leaving the room, "see you in a bit Alex." Alex smiled slightly at Gil's retreating back before putting his headphones in and getting lost in the music.

About an hour later, there was a knock at Alex's door. After hearing his muffled, "come in," George came into his room.

"Martha has made some lunch for us, would you like to come down and eat with us?" Alex didn't feel like going down and having to make conversation, his stomach was protesting with him at the lack of food. Standing shakily, he followed George to the dining room. When he got to the table he was astounded to see the mountain of sandwiches piled on top of each other in the middle of the table. At first, Alex was hesitant, still not used to being presented with food so easily and being allowed to eat without punishment. Although he knew George and Martha were different, he still forced himself not to touch a crumb until he was told. "Help yourself Alex. I'll never be able to get through all of these on my ow," At George's words, Ales reluctantly nibbled at the crust of the triangle of bread he was holding. Eventually, his hunger got the best of him, and before he knew it, he'd eaten half of the middle plate. Martha chuckled, "got a bit of an appetite, I see," Alex crouched back instinctively, bracing himself for the inevitable pain. But it never came. Looking up, he saw George and Martha happily eating, not looking at all like they were going to harm him. He could never be sure though.

"So Alex," Martha said, "Are you still wanting to go to school on Monday?" She asked. At the mention of school, Alex perked up. While he knew it would be hard at first, with his panic attacks and being the target for bullies, he was eager to get back to a sense of normalcy. He was a little nervous about going to a new school, but he was more than ready for a distraction from his tortured mind.

"Yeah," he replied, "I'd like to start as soon as I can." The thing that Alex missed most about going to school was debating. For some reason, whenever he was up there, presenting his opinion in a debate, all of his anxiety was washed away. It was nice to have a break from it all, even for a couple of minutes.

Alex was broken from his thoughts by the sound of George's voice, "I completely forgot! Alex, you need to take your medication," George stood, walking over to the locks on the high cabinet in the kitchen. Alex sighed, while he knew it has to keep him safe, he hated how he couldn't keep his medication in his room, and be able to take it without someone else present. After his most recent attempt on his life, the doctors recommended anything he could use to harm himself be kept out of reach. He couldn't even use metal cutlery unsupervised, it majorly sucked. What surprised Alex most, was that they hadn't noticed all his blades. They stopped searching after they found three. Alex took his cocktail of anti-anxiety and anti-depressants with a gulp of water. This, he hated as well, having to be drugged up to stop him from dissolving into a blubbering mess or grabbing the nearest knife and offing himself.

After making his way through half a plate of sandwiches, Alex's stomach began to protest. Before he had time to react, Alex felt the food rushing back up. Excusing himself as quickly as he could, Alex ran upstairs to his bathroom and kicked the door closed. He made it to the toilet just as his stomach began to empty itself. He kept going until he was getting bile . After he'd finished, Alex went to the sink and brushed his teeth, desperate to get rid of the foul taste in his mouth. Just as he finished up, he heard a knock at his door.

"Come in," Martha opened the door,

"Alex, Gil's back with John and Hercules. They're in Gil's room. They were wondering if you'd feel up to hanging out with them," Alex took a breath. He could do this. It was too soon to go out, but he was okay with hanging out inside. He just hoped it wouldn't be too weird seeing john outside of the hospital.

"Okay, thank you. I'll be there in a moment," Martha left the room, leaving Alex to prepare himself.

Alex walked to Gil's room and knocked on the door frame. Gil got up from the floor and bounded over to Alex,

"Mon Ami! Come in. We are just playing Board games," Alex chuckled,

"Oh no! Is that Monopoly I see? Are you trying to get us all to hate each other before we've even really met!," Alex said in mock horror.

"Where are my manners? I totally forgot to introduce you to my friends," Gil said, as he walked over to the tall, muscular person sitting next to John, "This is Herc. His real name is Hercules, but he'll kill you if you call him that. Don't be alarmed by his size, he really is just a big squishy teddy bear," Gil explained, demonstrating what he said by giving him a bone crushing hug.

Herc swatted Gil away, "Aw, come on Laf, don't blow my cover!" Alex was full on laughing now, followed by the others.

When they all got their breath back, Gil resumed his introductions, "So you've met john," Alex nodded.

Herc raised his eyebrow at Alex, "You've met john before?" Alex's eyes widened. Herc didn't know about anything. Alex wasn't sure he wanted to tell him either. Luckily, seeing Alex's distress, John swooped in and saved him,

"Yeah, we passed by each other a few times last week. His reaction was hilarious when he realised I knew Gil. You should've seen his face," John pulled a face, imitating Alex, causing everyone to break out into laughter again as the worry inside Alex dissolved. For the next hour they played Monopoly, where Herc's annoyed shrieks of, "Really! I just gave you money! This is rigged," could be heard from downstairs. By the time they were called for dinner, it was a miracle that all the pieces still remained intact.

They sat at the table, Gil and John on either side of Alex, while Herc sat next to George and Martha, as far away from John and Gil as possible. "I can't believe you guys won," he grumbled, "I am the king of Board Games,"

Gil smiled, "It was all thanks to Alex, really. If you didn't keep landing on his land, John and I wouldn't have stood a chance," he said cheerfully.

Alex, who had come second, replied bitterly, "Yeah. You used my hard work to crush Herc and then over take me!" He said, feigning annoyance. Everyone started eating their food, spaghetti and meatballs, courtesy of Martha. Alex decided to offer his help for the next meal, after all, he wasn't all that bad at cooking. Alex learnt fast. Anyone would if they were forced to make every meal for his previous guardians or ace punishments. But Alex didn't feel resentment to this skill, he enjoyed having something other than writing and speaking that we was adept in. Alex loved cooking, eating, not so much. Alex looked at his plate longingly, Spaghetti and Meatballs, his favourite food. The streamy smell of freshly cooked pasta and tomatoes wafted into his nose. Just a few bites, He thought, I should be able to keep a few bites down. Realizing he had zoned out, Alex listened back into the conversation,

"So what movie do you guys think we should use?" Asked John

"I don't care what we watch, as long as it's not Harry potter," said Herc, at the same time Gil said, "Harry Potter!" which caused the whole table to burst into laughter,

"He always wants to watch Harry Potter!" Hercules said, exasperated. "I'd be surprised if he didn't have all the movies memorised by heart," Herc said Jokingly.

Gil feigned hurt, "Come on, be realistic. Only the first three, what do you take me for?"

"WAIT WHAT?! I was kidding! You can't be serious,"

Gil didn't look abashed in the least, "Come on, Mon Ami, what did you expect? Harry potter is my favourite series,"

Through their banter, Alex was confused, "Harry Potter? I think I've heard of that. It's the one where the wizard goes to school to learn how to kill me Mouldyshorts guy right?"

Everyone at the table, including George and Martha dissolved into fits of laughter, occasionally stopping to exclaim, "Mouldyshorts!?" Eventually Alex joined in, laughing at himself.

When the laughter stopped, he saw Gil wiping tears of mirth from his face, "We HAVE to watch Harry Potter!" Hercules and John groaned but agreed. They couldn't leave Alex not knowing about Harry Potter.