A/N: Second to last chapter! PLZ ENJOY ;3
2 weeks later
"Yeah, so I'll let you know when I get a confirmation from SONY. Then we'll be able to release your album in a few months. Until then, you should just soak yourself in patience."
A/N: Lol, I literally tried to translate a Norwegian saying XD
I noticed Kizami getting a little bummed out, the youngster that he was. I get it, okay? It's his debut and he wants success. Seriously, with his talent and my amazing songs (yes, I said it) he definitely will receive a lot of praise and fame.
"Alright. I'll trust you on this Kishinuma-san," Kizami said, sighing. "You should," I said, chuckling. He slightly smiled and started packing his stuff. "Thanks for all the help, though. I can't wait to release it," he said. I nodded at him. Surprisingly, he was really easy to work with during the last year. I'd much rather produce some more songs for him than work with those teenage one-hit wonders who sing about tits and ass.
"Just call me when you're ready for the next one," I said, shaking his firmly and politely. He returned the handshake with respect. "Yeah … I look forward to working with you again," he returned, gave me one last smile and exited the recording studio.
I leaned back in my chair and sighed. Obviously, I've just absorbed myself in work. Yeah, I enjoy it, but I always realize how exhausted I am at the end of the work day. It was still the afternoon, but it felt like late at night. These past 2 weeks I've done everything I could to distract myself from throwbacks and flashbacks. I've been working like crazy and doing activities with Miki more than I usually do. I've been okay. Mostly.
I straightened my jacket and brushed my hair back. I don't want to push myself any further. I should probably call Miki too, maybe go out and eat with her. Just as I thought that, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. That was a first in a while. I was always the one making the calls. Who is it anyway?
I picked up my phone and shot my eyebrows up when I read the name that flashed on my screen. It was Mochida.
"Hello?" I asked calmly. Now that I had ended things with Ayumi, it felt fine to have a normal conversation with Mochida. "Hey, Kishinuma! It's been a while, hasn't it?" he excitedly said. "Heh. I guess," I answered. "So, is anything up?" "Yeah, I'll just get straight to the point; Since I haven't seen you for a few weeks, I've been thinking about having a little reunion dinner. What do you say?" he proposed.
I froze.
"Um … Just who is coming actually?" I asked, scared that a reunion dinner would mean what I thought it mean. "Well obviously me and Ayumi. Oh, and Nakashima," he replied. My heart sunk. Fuck. I don't have a choice but to act professional and mature. On the other hand, he really has guts to invite the girl he slept with behind Ayumi's back. I wonder why she's really okay with it. Does she think it's justified by what … we did?
"Sounds great! Just text me the restaurant and time and I'll be there," I casually said. This was my chance to prove to Ayumi that I wouldn't chase her anymore. I was over her after all. I was just scared to meet her again, face to face. "Awesome! I'll see you there, then. Bye!"
I didn't answer. It was my way of being casual and playful. That was my excuse, because the real reason was that I just didn't want to talk to him anymore. I straightened up my jacket again and left the recording studio. For real this time. I needed to get ready.
A part of me was excited to see Ayumi again. Obviously not to flirt with her, but to start over. This time, as friends. I'm serious. She hates Red Mustang, so was wearing tons of it. I was wearing casual clothes, because I know she hates that too. On me, at least. On Mochida, she loves everything. Clearly. I took a deep breath and entered the rather fancy restaurant. Was Mochida seriously going to cover all of the courses? Do surgeons honestly make that much money?
I spotted Mochida, Ayumi and Naomi sitting by the center table, waiting for me. Fuck. Here goes. Naomi noticed me, smiled and tapped on Mochida's shoulder. He turned around and brightened up the moment he saw me.
"Kishinuma! How you doing?" he greeted me, grasping my hand in for a bro hug. Gross. "Hey," I casually said and moved on to Naomi afterwards. "Hi!" Naomi blurted out and hugged me. "Heh … Doing well, I see," I said, planting a small kiss on her cheek as we quickly hugged. Now … the professional part.
I nodded at Ayumi and quietly said: "Hi Ayumi." My eyes shifted downwards when I saw her look up at me. I'm pathetic. I can't even look her in the eyes. "Hi Yoshiki," she said in the same monotone voice. This was easier than I thought. That means that I'm really over her, huh? That makes me feel a lot better.
I sat down next to Naomi with Ayumi sitting ahead of me. I felt completely calm, even with that. Phew. "You know, this doesn't have to be all on you. Please, let me at least pay for my plate," I offered, but Mochida shook his head. "I invited you, so I'd be glad to pay for your meals," he said and smiled. He's really nice, isn't he? It's hard to accept that he actually cheated on Ayumi once, but I'm even more shocked that Ayumi would forgive him. Speaking of … I looked over at Ayumi. I nearly jumped off my seat when I saw her eyes searing into my own.
She … She was staring at me. Pretty intensely too. It wasn't a cold one, like the one she gave me at their reunion party at their house. This stare was more … I don't know. There was just something about it that was very different. I hadn't realized it then, but I'd been staring back at her for a pretty long time. Her eyes glimmered for just a second before she looked away. It felt like I finally felt a breeze after minutes with a boiling hot sun.
"I'll be back. I'm just going to wash my hands first," I said, getting up from my chair. "You're unexpectedly sanitary, Yoshiki," Naomi said, raising her eyebrow. "Pft. What do you mean by unexpectedly?" I said, rubbing her head. She laughed. "Just kidding, geez! Fine, but be back soon. The food will get cold," she complained. I nodded and went ahead to the unisex bathroom.
The cool water poured over my hands as I rubbed them. It felt… surprisingly nice. Calming, in a way. Ayumi seems to have switched on friend-mode, which is much appreciated. She's still in a relationship with Satoshi without fighting, so she must be at peace. That makes me feel at peace too. Seeing it like this, I'm glad I stopped my twisted relationship with Ayumi. Everyone's happy like this. Including me. I'm happy.
I'm happy.
I stiffened when I heard the door behind me open. My privacy got invaded, so it's only natural that my posture would change. Even more so when I noticed that it was Ayumi.
I grinned at her. "I'm not the only sanitary one, eh?" I said. "Mm," she answered with simplicity and silently walked to the other sink, just a foot away from me. It felt strangely intimate, but I kept my cool and turned the water off, reaching for some paper. I need to break the ice, for God's sake …
"I, uh … I hope you're doing what I asked you to do," I said, not making her react at all. She just kept her gaze faced forward without any emotion showing. "Being happy, I mean …" I explained. Still no reaction. I gulped, feeling my honesty slowly eating me up inside. I was playing with fire here. One wrong move, and I would suddenly make everything worse.
"Look, what I'm saying is …" I continued, gulping. I'm really trying to mess this up, aren't I? "I'm telling you this because I … I care about you, you know. More than I've ever cared about anyone else."
Ayumi slammed her hands against the sink to interrupt me. Was she mad? That's a sudden change in temperature. No wait, is she mad …? "For Christ's sake …" she hissed out and turned towards me. Her eyes were filled with a passion I'd never seen before. More than fear, I felt a sort of… arousal. It made me feel guilty in a way, that her looking at me this way still ignited feelings like that inside of me. Her pupils quivered when she begged:
"Just kiss me already!"
Before I could process what she had just begged me to do, she had already grasped my collar and pulled me down towards her, kissing me fiercely. Wh … What …? I was confused and angry. How dares she after begging me for so long to end our relationship? Even while thinking that, I didn't pull away. I couldn't. I was like a former alcoholic who'd been sober for years. And now I was offered a glass filled with the finest red wine I've been dying to taste. It intoxicated me to the point where it was impossible to turn back now.
2 weeks of building a bridge were completely thrown away when I pinned her against the bathroom wall.
A raging passion roared through my body, making me kiss her so roughly that I almost bit her lips off. Her legs were wrapped around my hips, so I lifted her up by her thighs, the blood rushing to my face and brain. It's all over now. There's nothing I can do. Ayumi has tempted me into her trap. Now I was completely hers.
I breathed heavily into her hot and moist mouth when we separated after what seemed like forever. "I … I'm sorry," she said, letting her feet touch the floor when I put her down. I didn't know how I was supposed to answer that, so I just remained silent. I looked at her lips and let out a laugh I tried to restrain. She furrowed her brows. "W-What is it?!" she asked, blushing.
"Your lips, they … Er … They're swollen," I hesitantly said.
We made our way out of the bathroom, making sure to keep our distance to not raise any suspicion. I really hope that this was just a one time thing. I can still care for her, just not have any physical or romantic interaction with her. Although it's not a very … peaceful solution. But it's safe.
I stopped walking when I noticed that Ayumi suddenly just stood still.
"What's wrong?" I asked, tapping her on her shoulder. Her eyes were completely frozen and her mouth was half-open. What's she looking at …? I positioned my eyesight in the direction she was looking towards and instantly understood what was going on. I just couldn't believe it.
With their hands intertwined, Naomi had her lips pressed against Mochida's as they were both sitting by our table.
How could Ayumi possibly feel right now? That thought was enough to make a forgotten rage shadow over my conscience. Fuck. It's coming and I can't help it. I know I'm being incredibly hypocritical by being so angry at Mochida, but it's not the cheating itself that was making me mad. It was how Ayumi reacted. She was crying. She was hurting.
Anyone who dares to Ayumi deserves punishment.
I ran towards them with my arms swinging in the air and roughly pushed Mochida back with an angry groan.
"What the-?!" he blurted out and fell down on the floor. I didn't care that guests around us turned their heads. I didn't care that both Naomi and Ayumi were shrieking in fear. Mochida deserves pain. He deserves pain!
I pinned him down with my legs and started punching him. "You fucking prick!" I shouted, lifting him up to my face by his collar. He looked terrified and confused at the same time. "What's wrong with you?!" he yelled, his lip bleeding. My knuckles were shaking and I could feel my eyes pop out of my skull in fury. "Oh, I'll tell you what's wrong!" I yelled back and threw him on our table, the plates and glasses breaking underneath him. He groaned in pain. I wasn't done yet. Even though some of the staff definitely was calling the police by then.
I pointed at Ayumi who was stiff with shock and in tears. "How could you do that to her?! To someone as amazing as her!? Why the fuck do you think I'm head over heels for her?!" I screamed, my saliva foaming on my bottom lip. I didn't even think twice about telling the whole world the truth then and there. Now it was Mochida who stood there in shock.
"… The hell did you say just now?" he asked. I smirked. "You heard me. I dated her in college for a pretty long time until she dumped me for America. And guess what? The previous month I've seduced her. I've kissed her. I've been fucking her brains out! And why? Because I can't stand seeing her with a fake-ass son of a bitch like you!"
It's like the whole world stood still for several hours. I felt so satisfied. I wish it lasted though.
"You … You … You bastard!"
Mochida lunged forward and finally picked up, letting out his inner violence. It made me happy. That's what my inner anger did to me. It loved violence. It loved a good fight. We let ourselves completely off the races, rolling on the floor while exchanging strong punches, kicks and pushes. It all went on for as long as I can remember. It felt like too long before two big guys in uniforms restrained me when I was completely beat. It hurt like fucking hell. My face was completely numb and my hands were swollen. Blood was rushing to my eye and a metallic taste of blood coated my front teeth. Right before I let my consciousness drift away, I saw Ayumi's stiff figure in the corner of my eye.
With tears in her eyes, a half-opened mouth and trembling body she looked at me with an expression that completely broke my heart. What have I done? My anger subsided and a strong sense of guilt filled me instead. After I closed my eyes, that song kept running through my head.
I see Shinozaki swaying …
Her eyes are on fire and her hands are up.
Down on my knees and I'm singing:
Ooh baby, ooh baby
I am yours…
A/N: Last chapter next... UNTIL THEN ;3
