AN: More this weekend!


Amanda splashed cold water on her face in the women's room. She rubbed away the smudged mascara from under her eyes and tied her hair into a ponytail. Studying her reflection under the institutional lighting, she tried to assess whether or not her distress was obvious. She eventually concluded that she simply looked tired, although oddly enough, she was far from it. She adjusted her badge on her hip before making her way to Jasmine Ortega's room. She had work to do.

Liv had already taken Jasmine's official statement, but Amanda felt compelled to meet with her anyway. Despite what was going on with Sonny, Amanda was still a detective and this was still her case. At the very least, this was an important distraction. Over the course of the investigation, she had spent so much time picking apart all of the details of Jasmine's young life that she almost felt like she knew her.

Amanda found the fifteen year old girl sitting up in her hospital bed, her parents hovering at her side. It was late, but all of them were wide-eyed and alert. Jasmine appeared physically unharmed, but Amanda had been doing this work long enough to know that in these scenarios, most of the wounds went far beyond the superficial.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ortega," Amanda greeted the two adults; she had met them several times before. She looked over at Jasmine with her kindest smile. "Jasmine, I'm Detective Rollins, with Manhattan SVU. I've been working on your case."

"Hi," Jasmine said meekly.

"I know you've had a really long day... but is it okay if I talk to you for a little bit?" she asked Jasmine carefully.

Jasmine exchanged glances with her parents, who nodded in encouragement. "We're going to get some coffee," Mrs. Ortega explained. She patted her daughter's leg reassuringly beneath the blankets. "You two talk."

Left alone, Amanda perched herself against the window sill.

"That guy, is he dead?" Jasmine asked her timidly.

"What guy?"

"The police officer."

"Oh. No, he's... he's alright," Amanda managed, even though she wasn't sure it was true.

"That's good."

"How are you holdin' up?"

Jasmine shrugged. "I feel pretty stupid."

Amanda's brow furrowed, concerned. "Why?"

"When Jasper first messaged me on Facebook, it was nice to have somebody interested in me. You know when you have a crush on somebody and you get butterflies just seeing their name come up on your phone?"

The detective nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"We'd talk all day and all night. He would ask me about classes and my flute lessons, my family... I sent him pictures of my dog and... stuff," Jasmine explained, looking embarrassed. "He told me how pretty I was, that I shouldn't be shy or insecure, that I'm better looking than my friends."

"He was grooming you, Jasmine. He was trying to make you feel special and safe so he could get to you," Amanda said gently.

Jasmine picked at the blanket that was covering the lower half of her body. "I shoulda known he was bad. At school, nobody even looks twice at me."

"Jasmine... Jasper took horrible advantage of you and countless other girls. He is bad," Amanda told her firmly. "But there are plenty of good people out there, too. Ones who will like you for good and honest reasons, even on the days you aren't so crazy about yourself."

The girl looked away and mumbled, "that's just something adults say."

"Yeah, I know. I used to think the same thing."

"And now you don't?"

Amanda shook her head. "No. Now I know it's possible."

Jasmine eyed her skeptically. "How?"

She smiled sadly. "Somebody showed me."


At two thirty in the morning, Amanda decided to return to the ICU. Fin begrudgingly went home at her insisting - he looked exhausted. Once back on the fifth floor, Amanda discreetly found a seat in the empty waiting room as not to attract the attention of any nurses who may have witnessed her earlier outburst. She assumed Sonny's family was with him, so she kept her distance, hoping somebody would appear with news eventually. Alone, her eyes drifted closed, opening only when Kim began to text her a series of inspirational Bible verses.

"Excuse me, Detective Rollins?"

She looked up from her phone and sat up straighter. Standing in front of her in the empty room was Sonny's father. She hadn't met him before, but they looked so much alike that it was obvious they were related.

"Hi. Amanda, call me Amanda," she said quickly, running fingertips through her bangs in the hopes of neatening them.

"I'm Dominick, Sonny's father. You mind if I...?" He motioned to the empty chair next to her.

"No, of course," she said, gesturing for him to sit.

"So. You're still here," he observed.

"Yeah. The lieutenant will be back in a few hours, she needed to make arrangements for her son," Amanda assured him, like her presence alone wasn't sufficient.

Dominick nodded.

"I should apologize for earlier. I shouldn't have done that, said what I said..."

"Amanda, we're Italian. Yellin' is how we talk," Dominick told her with a wry smile.

She cleared her throat, still embarrassed. "How's he doing? And your family?"

"Sonny is stable. They're gonna take him off the ventilator at some point tomorrow, guess he's at pretty high risk for pneumonia with it in. He'll be sedated till then. That other thing... the chest tube, it's gotta be in for a week, till his lung can work on its own." He sighed. "My wife is outta her mind with worry. She never liked that he became a cop. Woulda kept the kid in a bubble, if he'd have it. His sisters used to call him 'the little prince,'" he added with a grin. "He hated that."

She turned to look at him better, her elbow resting on the top of the chair so her head could lean against her hand. Listening to Dominick was oddly calming, maybe because it was almost like being around Sonny.

Dominick went on, "Sonny's tough, though. Stubborn as hell. But he was always a good kid. People took advantage of that. Got the crap kicked outta him a few times. Every time it happened I'd ask him, 'you wanna learn how to fight?' Every time he'd say, 'nah, they don't mean it,' like he was... empathizing with the kids who clobbered him."

"Sounds like Sonny," Amanda murmured.

"My Bella on the other hand... she'll knock your teeth out if you look at her wrong." He exhaled and leaned forward, forearms resting on his knees and hands clasped loosely. He looked over at Amanda. "I hear you've got a beautiful little girl. Jesse, is it?"

She was surprised at the mention of Jesse, although she probably shouldn't have been. "Jesse, yeah," she confirmed with a small smile.

"I've seen her picture. Looks like a real doll." He grinned. "We've heard a lot about you."

"Oh, no..."

"All good things, don't worry. Amanda is always two steps ahead of everybody, a hard worker, a great mother..." He sat up before continuing, "I'm sorry I had to meet you this way, though. When this is all over, you and Jesse should come over for dinner. I know Sonny avoids Staten Island like the plague these days, but it's not so bad."

Amanda swallowed over the lump forming in her throat. He was so warm and kind, she suddenly wished he would hug her. "That would be nice. We'd really like that."


The next two days were a blur. Amanda rushed between the hospital, the precinct and home, trying to keep all aspects of her life together while she waited for Sonny to be alert and well enough for visitors. Declan was notably absent from all of these areas, but Amanda preferred it that way. She had a lot to say to him but kept wondering if it was worth it; if there was someone more hard-headed than she was, it was Declan. Trying to reason with him would be a painful and most likely fruitless effort.

Liv received news that Sonny had improved that afternoon and had sent Amanda to see him. The lieutenant didn't have to tell her to - Amanda would have asked to go anyway - but she wondered if Liv was attempting to give her an out. It was hard to concentrate on anything but what was happening at the hospital; Amanda wasn't exactly the picture of productivity as she obsessively checked her phone for messages or calls.

Once back at Bellevue, Amanda made her way to the now-familiar ICU. Again, she found herself anxious about what to expect - Sonny couldn't possibly look worse than he did two days ago, could he? She had never been one for prayer, but in the hallway she silently pleaded for his recovery to whatever higher power was watching all of this play out. She gave the door to Sonny's room a quiet knock before opening it and stepping inside.

Sonny's bed was in an upright position now. He was breathing on his own, without the ventilator, but it looked like the careful act of inhaling and exhaling was an effort. There was an IV hanging from one arm and his chest tube was still attached to a monitor at his side, the line only partially hidden by blankets. Those details were irrelevant to Amanda, however, the moment she saw that his blue eyes were open. She felt tears of relief begin to form, the reaction beyond her control.

"C'mon, Rollins, do I look that bad?" Sonny asked playfully, his voice hoarse and quiet.

She shook her head, trying to compose herself before she opened her mouth. She set her handbag on a chair before she gingerly perched herself at his side on the edge of his bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been shot in the chest - twice," he quipped, the corners of his eyes crinkling with his smile.

"I am so sorry."

"Why are you apologizin'? You didn't shoot me."

Amanda didn't know how much he knew about Declan, but she didn't have it in her to bring it up now. She felt the sting of tears again as she whispered, "I'm just glad you're alright."

"Hey, hey. I'm fine. They stitched me back up, it's all good," Sonny insisted casually, noticing her expression and reaching for her hand. His eyes were glassy as they looked at her, probably from medication. "You didn't bring the baby here, did you? This place is Germ City."

She smiled genuinely for the first time in what felt like forever. That was such a Sonny thing to say. "No, she's at home."

They were quiet for a little while. Their fingers entwined, it was enough for her just to be there with him.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Amanda said suddenly, releasing his hand to grab her purse from the chair by his bed. "I brought you some things. We didn't know how long you'd be here, so... Liv found your crossword puzzle book in your desk, and she got you a new one," she began, handing the books to Sonny. Next, she pulled out a large novel and explained, "this is from Barba. Looks like it'd put me straight to sleep, but I know y'all like that stuff, so..." With a quirked eyebrow, she passed him The Transformation of American Law. Finally, she gave him a blue piece of construction paper covered in multicolored, crudely-drawn hearts and scribbles. "And Jesse made you this."

Carefully, Sonny set the books on the table by his bed and took the drawing in both of his hands to study it. "Wow, a Jesse Rollins original." He looked up at Amanda, smiling. "This is great. All of it. Thank you."

She inched closer to him. Leaning forward slightly, she kissed him gently. "You're welcome."

When she pulled away, Sonny set Jesse's drawing atop of his new stack of books and shifted to sit up a little straighter, grimacing a little as he moved. "Amanda?"

"Hm?" Amanda replied.

"Love you too."