Revised: Tuesday 29th June
Chapter 9: Confusion
Overnight, Lucius had a chance to rethink what he had been inclined to believe the night before. He had thought his young bride was young and incompetent and not for the first time had questioned what he had done when he had asked her to marry him, if she was going to walk out on him at a drop of a hat.
Now that he had had a chance to think about it, he had decided that Narcissa had done it out passion. That was why she had walked out on him. Because she hated him to see him without women as he hated to see her with the men. They were, deep down, two sides of the same coin.
Now all he had to do was win her back and bring her around to him.
He was quiet looking forward to that. He loved to charm women and he loved to win round Narcissa. When he had been doing it the first time it had been fun. He was sure it was going to be just as good fun this time.
The banter between the two of them was so fresh and in many ways uplifting.
Narcissa sat at the piano at the Black manor. She had played ever since she had been young but as she sat there, nothing seemed to come out as she wanted it too. Every time when she had tried to play she had keep hitting the wrong keys and there she sat on the stool, not playing, but neither moving either.
Her mother came in to the room, but she did not greet her.
She had been disturbed at the ball and she had been unable to sleep because of it all night. In fact, she had cried last night for the first time in lord knows how long.
The first thing that had really upset her was Chris's behaviour towards her. She had always thought he respected her and yet it felt as if he was trying to get her to go to the Death Eater meetings when she had said she didn't want to go.
How was that for respect? Plain and simply she didn't think it was. And she was not going to allow anyone to disrespect her.
And then there was Lucius. She realised she had wanted him last night after what Chris has said. He had been so respectful. She had wanted to run to him. She had wanted him to hold her. And then he had not been there. He had been with other women.
"Have the two of you had your first row?" Druella finally asked knowingly at her moody daughter.
"No… Something of the sort I suppose." She said to her mother shaking her heads angrily. "But it was no argument. No words were exchanged particularly. We didn't even talk."
"Ok. Other than that are you going to tell me what did happened?" she asked to Narcissa gently knowing if she demanded anything then her daughter was just going to close up to her.
"No, I don't really want to talk about it. Let's just say I felt like he let me down."
"That is a feature of married life." she shook her head. How many women knew that well, every one she had ever known be married for longer than a few months. That was when it begun. When the tedious everyday life did.
"Well, I don't want it to be!"
She had said it in a snappy manner that caught her mother of guard. This was something Cissy felt strongly about obviously. She didn't want to have an open marriage where he husband could sleep with whom he liked, when he liked. He was going to be her husband exclusively, and she was never going to accept him taking a mistress.
And then she thought she had perhaps blown things out of proportion. After all he had just been talking, Lucius and the others. It was not as if they had done anything.
"Why does courtship have to be such a struggle mother?"
"Because it is worth it. And nothing that is worth it comes easily."
There was a knock on the door.
"Can a mother not have a moment with her child in peace?" She asked under her breathe. "Come in," she yelled towards the door.
A servant came in, dressed in her dowdy grey dress and white over coat and curtseyed to her mistresses.
"Lord Malfoy, my lady." She said to her.
Narcissa got up from where she had been sitting instantly, suddenly interested by what was going on outside of the window.
"Good morning my Lady Black, Miss Narcissa." He said smoothly as he went in to the room.
His observation of his young bride's body told him all he needed to know. She had failed to get over the previous nights events as of yet.
"Lord Malfoy it is good to see you here, isn't it daughter?"
"Yes." she said on turning to face him. "It is so good to see you here." She said. "I am so sorry for leaving you last night at Rutland, my headache came on suddenly. I trust you did not lack company."
"No, there is no fear of that but none of it was as stimulating as yours." He said to her.
"No, of course not," She muttered under her breathe rolling her eyes.
"I hope you are feeling better now." He said.
"Yes, I am it was a headache nothing more." She said to him coolly.
"Then perhaps we can go for a walk."
"Mr Malfoy, as much as I am sure my daughter would love to accompany you, she has an appointment with the dress makers today."
"Yes, I only want to look the best for you after all. We are likely going to be there all day, picking fabrics and styles for my wedding gown." Narcissa said to him civilly.
"Very well then. I shall see you later this week?"
"I look forward to it." but the coldness was again detectable in her voice.
Narcissa was on a roller coaster ride of emotions over that day. Sometimes she felt as if she was a princess as any girl did when she was trying on her wedding dress. Others she felt as if she was being sent to her death.
"My dear, are you sure you do not like this one?"
"Yes mother I know my own mind!" she would snap every so often.
Bella, Elizabeth and Izzy checked her for saying things like this feelings Druella who was only trying to help did not deserved it. The normally well mannered Narcissa was in a sulky mood, and all of them knew why.
"I know you do. Too well sometimes I think. You are not going to be able to act like this when you are married."
"If my lord husband wants a nice quiet submissive wife let the contract run a year until we can both be free of this vile bond between us."
"Narcissa! For god's sake what is wrong with you?" her mother finally asked. She was not going to take this, accept her behaviour. She was acting like a brat. She was used to it from Bella but not from Cissy. "You were and have been fine about this marriage. I know you have had a rough night, you were unwell and my darling I am so sorry for that. But, my girl, pull yourself together. You were rude to your husband this morning and you have been rude to me ever since. I am not going to take it. If you think, I am your mistaken."
Narcissa threw herself in to a chair. The dress fitter made a quite exit from the room. Cissy realised she had tears in her eyes. Everything had been going on ok till Caroline had burst on them she thought to herself. What if he set her aside one day? Nothing any one said even he himself could stop that fear in her. She had to play to her own strength with her body and her wits but she didn't know if she could. Not every day of her life.
Tears came on to her face.
"Oh Cissy dry your eyes!" said Bellatrix unsympathetically. When she had found out she was going to marry Rod she had been worried but no one had seen her tears.
"That is quite enough, my Bella. Girls can you leave the room please need a moment with my Narcissa." Druella said and they all nodded respectfully and left her with her daughter who she went over too and embraced.
"You are going soft in your old age, mama." She said to her as she softened.
"Maybe I am. But I think if I had been a bit softer on you and your sisters when you were younger things might have been different. I now see the need of reflection. More clearly than ever before."
"We are having far too many hearts to hearts of late." She tried to joke. It didn't work.
"When has there ever been such a time as the present?" she asked. Narcissa turned to her with those inquisitive eyes she had been so annoyed by when the girl had been young. She had stopped using them one day when she had asked why one too many times, but they were back with a vengeance.
"I have been wrong on many an occasion. Yes, I have and I see it now in you. I see myself in you, Narcissa. I have tried to make you so submissive god knows I tried to with all three of you girls but it never worked did it? My god, I used to worry about you all. And I was right too. I used to think who was going to have them? Generation after generation we, us pureblood women have been told it is best to keep quiet and to try not to intervene in the lives of our husbands. But what happiness has that brought us?" she asked sadly.
"Mother stop." Narcissa cut her off. "You are confusing me further. You have led me down this path. Now let me follow it blindly."
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