Chapter 9: I'm Here Now
A/N: So you can check out my profile for a link to the condo/apartment that I am having Liv and Alex rent during their stay in Holland. I'm a visual person so of course I had to apartment search! Well, after this chapter I plan on jumping ahead about a year or so. Enjoy! And don't forget to review! They make me happy! And you can thank LiziJ1987 for the British Slang. ^-^ (oh and btw we started coauthoring a story together called sacrifice our pen name is BehindThierEyes)
"My son is very handsome," Alex said as she laid her glasses down on the table. "That's something you would know if you had ever tried to contact us before."
Pierce shifted in his seat. "Well I'm here now."
"That you are," Alex conceded, "But that doesn't come close for making up for the time you already missed."
"See, this is why I never bloody called! I knew you'd act like this." Pierce got up from the chair and started to pace the small office. He had one hand at his hip and the other pressed to his forehead.
Alex ignored Pierce's vi for sympathy and instead turned toward Katie. "So what brings you along? Please tell me you're not sleeping with him too." Alex tilted her head in the direction of the still pacing Pierce who only paused slightly at her words.
Katie gave a small chuckle and eyed Pierce. "Well I may be a bit knackered, but not by that much. Our relationship is quite chummy. He's not good for a lot of things, but he is a good boss and he's about the only friend I have left."
Alex raised an eyebrow slightly and then Pierce decided he had found words after all.
"I want to see my son Alex." He stopped pacing and placed his hands squarely on the front of her desk and he leaned over it trying to emanate the demanding presence that he didn't own in the room right then.
Alex studied him as he stood there staring at her, but a stare down wasn't going to bar her discretion. She didn't like him anymore than the day she told him she was pregnant. He didn't care then and he certainly doesn't care now. "Tell me, Pierce, what exactly is this about?" she said. "You showed no interest before and now all of a sudden you show up, demanding to see your son. I just don't get it. Have you suddenly realized what an asshole of a father you've been?"
Pierce clenched his fists and grunted as he collapsed back into the chair. "Yes. Yes I realize what a terrible father I've been and I feel simply ghastly about it." He looked down at the floor as he spoke and then he brought his eyes back up to meet Alex's. "I want to make it up to him . . . I want to make it up to you."
Alex could see the seeming sincerity in his eyes and hear it in his voice.
"Please," Pierce begged his hands now coming together in a prayer like position. "I would be chuffed to bits if I got to see him."
"For god's sake Alexandra," Katie said, "give the guy a chance."
Alex eyed Katie and then Pierce. Her arms were crossed and she sat leaned back in her chair. "Let me think about it," she said softly.
Pierce gave a slight nod of his head, "Very well then. I guess we should be off now." He stood and looked to Katie who stood up to follow him.
"Um, wait. Katie, can I have a word with you privately?" Alex asked.
Pierce nodded and walked out the office. He closed the door behind him as Katie once again took her seat and faced Alex.
"What is it Alex?" Katie asked politely.
Alex sat forward and looked up slightly as she asked, "Has he really changed? Does he really want to meet Riley and be a better father?"
Katie sighed, "I don't know . . . I mentioned it last night and he just got really quiet. He asked how you were doing . . . and if Olivia was still around." Her name came out a bit begrudgingly.
Alex smiled to herself at the mention of Olivia even though it obviously irritated Katie. "About that, I do trust you Katie, but after last night's performance I'm not sure what to believe."
"I'm just here to do my job. I don't want to get between you two." Katie eyed Alex. They had had a very intense and passionate relationship when they dated over four years ago. In the three months they were together they had learned to read each other's clues. Their body language remained the same even after all these years. Her language this time told Alex she was serious about what she said. Katie got up from her chair and made her way to the office door. She grabbed the knob but before she left she turned toward Alex her eyes slightly downcast but still focused on Alex. "I just had to know I wouldn't be missing another chance, but I see what you two have and I envy you for it." She let her eyes rest fully on Alex as she said utterly truthfully, "Don't let her go Alex, ever." With that she turned to leave and left Alex sitting stunned at her desk.
*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/
When Alex's day at work was over, she began to pack her small briefcase and headed for the door. When she was right outside the front door, Olivia and Riley were waiting for her.
"Mommy!" Riley exclaimed as he enthusiastically jumped off a bench and ran toward Alex with unabated eagerness. He gripped her leg with a force all his own, hugging it fiercely. She wrapped her arms around the back of his head.
"I love you too," she said as he let go and then ran off again to resume his playing.
Olivia walked over to Alex her hands naturally in her pockets. Then they reached around Alex's waist and she pulled her in for a kiss. "We didn't want to disturb you while you were working," Liv said in explanation for why they were waiting outside.
"You're never a distraction," Alex whispered into Olivia's ear.
Olivia smiled and pulled back, "Well you're always a distraction for me."
"Fair enough," Alex said and then she pulled Liv back into her embrace and nuzzled her nose close to Olivia's neck and admitted, "I can't think straight when I'm around you."
Liv pushed back a strand of Alex's hair and whispered, "I know."
"Look momma!" Riley yelled from his position hunched over and bent at the knees. He pointed toward a flower in the garden. "I see a bug!"
Olivia walked over to where Riley was squatted and checked out the object of his attention. "That sure is a bug, a big nasty one."
"A big, big, gigantic bug!" Riley said as he skipped back toward Alex. "I saw lots of bugs today," he said as he tugged on Alex's arm.
"You did?" Alex asked him, "So tell me what all you and mommy did today."
"Well," his eyes got big and he retold her about his day, "We rode bikes and the train and looked at bugs and ants and ate at the stores and we saw our condor and we talked to Uncle Elliot and we rode the train again and now we see you!"
Alex's eyebrows rose in confusion, "We have a condor? Like, a dinosaur?" she asked.
Riley chuckled, "You silly mommy, dinosaurs are 'stinked."
Olivia grabbed Alex's hand and began leading her back to the train. Riley skipped ahead as they walked. "Well, I went and did a little house shopping and I found us a condo that I think we'd like. It's ready for immediate move in and comes slightly furnished. You want to go see it?"
"Yes, anything to get us out of that hotel room with Katie. Tell me how did you manage to find us a condo and do all that sightseeing with Riley in one day?"
Olivia chuckled to herself, "Are you kidding? With all this free time I don't know what to do with myself! I'm not very used to not having a job. I need to find something to do; maybe they need some security detail at the ICC?"
The three of them got on the train and it soon took off in the direction of the condo. "I'm sure I could put in a good word for you," Alex said. "Which brings up the question about who'll be watching after Riley," Alex took the opportunity she saw, "It might not be so bad for Riley to have another man in his life."
Olivia shrugged, "I'm sure we could find a manny."
Alex bit her bottom lip and decided to test the waters further and see what Olivia thought of the idea, so she whispered so Riley wouldn't hear, "Pierce is in town and he wants to meet Riley."
Olivia dropped Alex's hand and had to turn slightly to keep her anger in check. She ran her fingers through her hair, a sign of nervousness. "I don't like that idea Alex."
"Look, I know this is all a lot happening really soon, but it might be the time for change all around," Alex said in a hushed and hurried manner.
Olivia eyed Alex she knew she didn't mean a change in their relationship but it still felt like abandonment, like she wasn't enough. "Riley and I need to go back to the states. If you like this condo, then Elliot said he knew someone who we could sublet our apartment in New York to for the year or so, but Riley and I will need to get our stuff."
Alex knew the change of subject was a non direct way of Olivia dealing with things. Alex knew Liv wasn't ready and was instantly sorry she'd mentioned Pierce. Well, he might be here, but so was Olivia, and she was determined to make this work out between them. So she dropped the subject.
Alex knew she'd like the condo before they even got there. Olivia knew her well and knew how to pick a good and safe place to live. So she wasn't surprised when they got out at the stop in Wessanaar, one of the higher end neighborhoods. The condo she found was right above some small shops. It was a small, but modern two bedroom apartment with a fireplace and a nice balcony. They signed the lease that night and were immediately allowed to move in.
*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/
Alex lay in bed that night with Olivia cuddled up next to her. She stared up at the ceiling as she thought about everything that had transpired over the last four years. It was all a jumbled mess. Yet there had only been one constant in her life and that was Olivia. She knew whatever Olivia said, she would be ok with, and she would do. And if that meant keeping Pierce back then she would.
She rolled her body so that she could watch Olivia's sleeping form; she let her arm rest under Olivia's neck and her other hand wrapped around her and gently played in her hair as she whispered, "I'm never going to run away from you again. My heart is all yours, baby. You hold me down; you're the anchor of my ship and there's no place I'd rather be than in your arms. So whatever you decide about Riley, I'll go with because he's all yours too. I want him to always only be yours and mine."
Olivia gently parted her lips as she kept her eyes closed and whispered back, "I know I was supposed to be asleep for that, but thank you." She opened her eyes to find Alex's and she did.
"I was a wreck before you." Alex said, "I thought I knew what I was doing, but I was all over the place in the name of one thing or the other, but now I have you here. You keep me steady and I never want to lose you."
Alex suddenly sat up in the bed and Olivia did as well because she was now concerned. Alex turned toward Olivia and grasped Liv's hands in her own. She looked her in the eyes and said, "Olivia, I can't imagine ever living without you. I love you so much it hurts." She looked around the room trying to find her words, desperately seeking those which seemed to suddenly evacuate her body and she couldn't think of what to say next, but she continued anyways, "I know these things are supposed to be well thought out and romantic, but . . ." She looked back to Olivia, "Olivia Benson, will you marry me?"
Tears caught in Olivia's throat at the sudden burst of the question. She brought her hands up to cup Alex's vulnerable face. "There is nothing and no one in the world that would ever keep me from telling you yes right now. Yes Alexandra Cabot," Liv said grinning from ear to ear, "I will marry you."
