First off, a huge thanks for the constant stream of reviews I get. Each chapter I post seems to get more and more hits and reviews, and I just can't begin to express how absolutely wonderful it is. I appreciate it all so, so much, and it really does keep me inspired. Second, to QuickLegit, I got curious so I tumblr stalked and found the adorable little rant you and your friend went on. Needless to say, I laughed so hard and was absolutely honored. I fully intend to make you guys proud, and don't think I haven't considered the epic fight already or a big yellow bus! Anyways here's the next chapter, which is much longer I know but there was a lot to get in, and I hope you all continue to enjoy! Have faith in me, readers! Keep reading and reviewing, love you all!
"We're having a baby."
The room fell silent as the words left Robyn's lips, everyone's mouths gaping open in unison as hers turned into a grin. No one moved and no one spoke, gasping and inaudible sounds not even present. The silverware didn't clang loudly against the plates and cups weren't even overturned from shock, the room appearing to hold nothing more than mannequins as the words sunk into each of their minds.
Robyn continued standing with a huge smile plastered on her face, only her eyes moving left and right as she took in their reactions. She moved from a horrified Artie to a stunned Tina, onto a dumbfounded Kurt and incoherent Rachel. As her eyes shifted from friend to friend they finally rested on Quinn, Robyn drinking in her expressionless response and smiling a little wider while enjoying the moment.
Quinn could have literally crumbled before their very eyes, now having learned in the most painful way that it was actually possible to feel your heart physically break. Her cheeks flushed hot and pink with embarrassment as warm tears of sadness filled them, her lips quivering automatically as she clenched her jaw. She felt as if someone had kicked her in the gut, her stomach now a knotted mess of gut wrenching nausea. She had lost the ability to breath some time ago, Quinn positive that she was drowning as she sat in her seat. Her heart, her poor tattered and shattered heart was somehow still beating in her painfully tight chest, the only proof she was still alive being the rapid drum roll in her ears that droned out everything else. Quinn felt as if she was Cinderella, having only seconds left until she unraveled and fell apart, so she quickly stood up to leave without so much as a word. She stumbled a bit as she pushed her chair back, Quinn dizzy as she scrambled for a way out.
She had barely closed the back door when she sunk to her knees on the steps, any and every emotion she had in her small body pouring out into her hands. She was distraught and hurt that he was moving on, livid and betrayed that he had said he loved her, embarrassed and mortified that she had sunk so low as to play games to win him back, and dirty and shameful at how she had kissed and thrown herself at him. Quinn struggled between choking on sobs and biting back screams, becoming exhausted as she leaned against the door frame. She wondered if this was payback for trying to steal away a taken man, guilt now adding on to the long list of emotions that were pulsing through her fragile frame.
Quinn felt as if she had been crying forever, her weeping now turning into painful hiccups for air. She knew that eventually someone would take one for the team and come get her, wondering who would have the balls to console the wretched mess she had become. The sound of the door creaking open behind her solidified her instinct, Quinn not even bothering to turn around to see the courageous soul who was attempting to comfort her. She almost wiped the dark trails of wet mascara off her face but quickly decided against it, her desire to appear perfect and graceful fading as her hand sank down in exasperation. She lacked the capacity to care anymore, about anything really, her need to hide and protect herself behind a shield now long gone. Quinn was no longer concerned if anyone saw her cry or breakdown since everyone of them knew the truth, her brave face now turning into a meager and desperate attempt to look tough.
"Quinn," a light voice said softly while they shuffled down the steps, Finn now appearing beside her and resting on the handrail.
"I'll be in-in a sec," she sputtered out softly, feeling that if she closed her eyes tight enough he wouldn't be able to see her.
"Quinn," he said again, sitting beside her and covering her soft hand with his rough one. The puffiness around her eyes and sniffling from her nose made him uncomfortable, Finn knowing he could have prevented the whole disaster if he would've told her the truth. He contemplated being honest but decided against it, Quinn already having enough pain and secrets to deal with.
I-I'm not exactly good at this," he fumbled trying to figure out the right thing to say while she shook her head.
"It's-it's ok," she squeaked out, still avoiding his eyes while gazing off at the backyard.
"Now I may not be much of an expert on love or uh, things like that," he said uncomfortably, "but I do know what it feels like to get your heart mashed in like a Monster truck. I've always been rather good with that, so I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that everything will be alright and you'll be fine." Maybe Finn lacked the grace that Rachel or Kurt had, but he owned the ability to be honest and real and Quinn was more than appreciative for his straight forwardness.
"You're mad as hell and that's ok, you let it all out," he said as he nodded his head, patting her hand while adjusting his position, "I-I know you're hearts broken and I'd give anything to trade it for mine, and I'm sorry that I can't. I want you to know thought that I'm here, we're all here, and we'll do anything for you ok?" Quinn finally turned to Finn as he finished abruptly, more tears falling as she leaned into his arms.
"I-I just feel so stupid," she sobbed as he hugged her tightly, adjusting his arms around her awkwardly while whispering.
"Hey, you're not stupid and I don't wanna hear that," he said a little more harsher than he had intended, coughing a little as he straightened out his tone, "You've done nothing to make you stupid."
"I threw myself at a taken man," Quinn whimpered as she pulled away, meeting Finn's eyes and shaking her head, "This is what I deserve."
"What you deserve? You don't even know what you deserve," Finn said as he pulled Quinn back, "Trust me, better people have done worse." Quinn's face rested on his chest as he rocked her side to side, Quinn feeling oddly comfortable as he continued to speak lowly.
"Quinn I can't change things for you, and I know this won't take the hurt away right now, but you will get through this. You have a room full of people who would die for you and a baby that thinks you hung the moon up there. You lean on them and don't let someone as low as Robyn drag you down to her level, you're better and smarter and prettier and…any other word that means good stuff with er on the end alright?" Quinn wanted to laugh but it wasn't exactly an emotion she possessed at the moment, offering Finn a small smile as she nodded.
"Thank you," she choked out, finally wiping the black smears from her face, "You're not as bad as you think at that." Finn chuckled as he stood up to head back in, sighing while leaning against the rail.
"Well Rachel taught me well, her love for Jesse was really an awful time for all of us, " he said while he groaned. She gave Finn another hug before he headed back in, Quinn taking one last moment to clear her eyes before she returned. She was dreading her grand entrance and all the looks of concern she'd receive, praying Puck and Robyn had left or vanished into a trap door.
She let her head hang down as she opened the door, surprised to only find Tina and Artie at the table. She looked around in confusion, Tina finally speaking up to offer her an explanation.
"Finn and Rachel went to get the car," she said softly, Artie nodding along at every word she said, "And Carole and Burt went upstairs."
"Kurt?" Quinn strangled out as she cleared her throat, "Or Jacob? Mercedes?"
"They're all at the kitchen door," Artie replied quickly, Quinn furrowing her brow as she tried to figure out why.
"What for?" Tina and Artie shared a look and then turned to Quinn smiling a little, Tina more than happy to answer.
"Because that's where Puck took Robyn after you left. We heard a bang and a lot of yelling following."
"We've placed bets that he's either killed her with a frying pan and is cleaning up the mess, or he's smacking her around a bit until that baby falls out." Quinn wanted to laugh but she just couldn't muster up the strength, appreciative of her friends support but exhausted from her meltdown.
"Can we-can we just go home now?" Quinn asked sadly, Finn's voice answering her suddenly.
"Yep, let's roll." Quinn moved to grab her purse, waving to Tina and Artie as she led Finn outside. He was about to close the door behind him when Puck appeared from the kitchen, Finn glaring him down as he searched for Quinn.
"Qui-"
"Dude, back off," Finn snapped, slamming the door and heading down the drive. His stomach dropped when he heard it open again, Puck emerging and following after.
"I just need to explain-" Quinn had one foot in their car and one foot on the pavement, stopping abruptly when she heard his voice. Puck looked almost as sad as her, saying her name over and over softly as he approached her. Rachel tried to encourage Quinn into the car but it didn't work, Quinn throwing her purse inside it and storming towards Puck.
"Quinn, please-" his sentence was cut short by her hand across his face, the sound of her skin against his smacking loudly. His head slung to the right as he stumbled a bit, completely caught off guard by her action but not angry. Instead he turned back to her, his eyes almost as tear filled as hers.
"Quinn-"
"I hate you," she forced out, trying to make her voice as strong and believable as possible, "I hate every part of you. I hate ever loving you and the thought of ever being with you makes me sick. You're the biggest mistake I ever made and the only thing you were ever good for is waiting in that car for me, so I'm leaving with her and forgetting everything about you." He reached for her arm but she swatted at him, acting as if tears weren't streaming down her face.
"Quinn! Quinn!" he continued to shout, following her as she got in and locked her door. She tried to ignore his shouts as he ran beside their car, hitting the window and pleading for her to stop. He followed her for as long as he could, only stopping because of a passing car. He watched as the headlights faded into the night, standing and waiting for the minuscule chance that maybe, just maybe she'd come back to him.
"Here's looking at you, kid."
Quinn continued to cry as she shoveled in another spoonful of ice cream, watching as Humphrey Bogart lit up the screen. She had been this way for the past few days, Beth having been with Puck during the week so Robyn could begin practicing her flower girl waltz.
"Now there is a real man," Quinn sighed as she wiped her cheeks on her sleeve, pointing to the screen with her spoon as she nodded her head, "I mean there's a man who knew how to love." Jacob agreed as he shoveled in another handful of chips from the huge bag in front of him, his own eyes puffy as the credits rolled. He, along with Kurt and Mercedes had come over for another comforting night, no one mentioning the incident as they indulged in food in beer.
"I mean where are those guys at today huh? Where?"
"Not the fuck in Lima," Mercedes shrugged as she doused her sundae in more chocolate syrup, Quinn hollering out an "Amen" as she reached for another chicken leg.
"S'not right," she mumbled through a mouthful of barbecue sauce, "I mean its just downright sick. Lifetime movies and Nicholas Sparks getting all our hopes up like that."
"That's why I prefer Oxygen, much more realistic depiction of love and loss. I mean have you seen Tori and Dean? It's got divorce written all over it!"
"Oh I do love my WE channel," Jacob chimed in, "The Golden Girls? Now those ladies knew what was up." Quinn groaned in response as she took a deep swig of beer, wincing as it burned down her throat.
"Well I'm done," she croaked out, chunking the empty bottle on the table as she reached for another, "With all of it, men, dating, love, all that crap."
"So you're celibate?"
"I was actually leaning towards lesbianism," she said casually, Kurt furrowing his brow while pointing his fork at her.
"I don't think that's a word."
"I don't think that's the point." Kurt shrugged as they all continued to eat, Quinn sinking back into the couch and closing her eyes as she flashbacked. Puck had been calling and texting her nonstop, even stopping by the house and hospital unexpectedly for any opportunity to see her. She had of course blown him off, in no mood to hear him or his excuses. What could he possibly have to say? Oops? No, he had lied right to her face that day in the dressing room and Quinn wasn't having anymore of his bullshit. She tried hard to pretend that she didn't feel guilty over her own little lies, the sound of her smacking him still replaying in her head.
"So what are we watching next?" Mercedes asked while shuffling through the DVDs, "I've got "Wuthering Heights" or "Romeo and Juliet-"
"I'm thinking something bloody and loud, where everyone dies and no ones happy," Quinn mumbled as she bundled up in her bed comforter.
"Ah something truly inspiring," Kurt said as he flicked through the DVDs, "So I'm guessing no go for Splash?"
"Does the mermaid get blown up like Jaws?"
"No…but she does have to bone Tom Hanks and let's face it, he's not as good as he once was."
"Pass." The foursome finally settled on "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," Quinn actually chuckling as she watched the girl shoot herself in the head.
"Look at it, poom!" she giggled while motioning an explosion with her hands, her mood shifting when her phone vibrated. She looked down to see Puck's number once again, only answering because Beth was there.
"Beth better be drowning, otherwise you have no right to call me."
"Mama that's a terrible thing to say! You know I can swim!" Quinn leaned up as she muted the TV, receiving boos from her friends as she heard Beth's voice.
"Baby what are you doing? Is everything alright, why do you have daddy's phone?"
"I stole it!" her daughter said proudly, Quinn able to hear her smiling as she continued to chat away, "He's napping on the couch and crazy Robyn is gone, so I real quick like pushed it out his pocket." Quinn smiled for the first time in days, imagining little Beth ninja-ing her way through Puck's living room with black paint on her face.
"Aren't ya proud mama? I'm real stealthy as Uncle Finn says," the small child continued to ramble, Quinn interrupting to speak.
"Yes honey, I'm very impressed with your assassin-like abilities, but is everything ok? You didn't just steal daddy's phone for fun did you?"
"Oh, right, mama I wanna come home, will you come get me please?"
"Is something wrong, did something happen?" Quinn asked worried, getting up and pacing.
"No, not really, but daddy isn't any fun. He won't play with me and he just sleeps all the time. I think he must be sad or something 'cause he wont eat his Cocoa Puffs and he doesn't talk to crazy Robyn anymore." Quinn tried to ignore the twinge of pain in her gut as she saw his face outside the car window flashing in her mind, still able to hear him calling her name while following along.
"Baby, I-I think you should just stay alright? You have three days until the wedding and Robyn wants to make sure you're well prepared. Besides, your daddy will be even more sad if you leave him ok?"
"I don't think that's possible," Beth muttered into the receiver, Quinn contemplating what she should do.
"Beth is he asleep now?"
"Yep, I even shoved a Lego up his nose and he didn't even budge." Quinn thought about running to get the little girl, Puck being asleep and psycho bitch being gone making it much easier to get Beth now than any other time when they'd be waiting for her to arrive.
"Alright Beth, pack your bag and be ready by the door ok? And whatever you do, don't wake your daddy. I'll leave him a note that I came to get you, got it?"
"Got it, thank you mama."
"Alright Beth, see you soon."
Quinn made her way up the steps cautiously, wanting to make as little noise as possible while she crept onto the landing. She had told Beth to keep her ears peeled for her knock, hoping the little girl had listened like her mom had asked. Quinn lightly tapped on the door, automatically hearing a little voice echo underneath it.
"Who's there?" Beth asked softly, making sure it wasn't a stranger or monster.
"It's your mama bug, let me in."
"How do I know its mama? Tell me something only my mama would know." Quinn racked her brain for something quickly, smiling as she bent down to the bottom of the door.
"You eat too many Cocoa Puffs and shove Lego's in places they don't belong." She heard small footsteps and the door's bolt snap, Beth's little head appearing in the crack as she smiled.
"That was a good one," the little girl whispered as she ran into Quinn's arms, hugging her tightly and playing with her hair.
"Well I try," Quinn said lowly as she pushed the door open, tip toeing inside as she set Beth down.
"Now I'm gonna write daddy a quick note and then we'll leave-"
"Well Quinn! What a surprise darling, I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow!" Quinn's blood pressure instantly rose at the sound of that voice wafting through the door, not even trying to hide the low groan that escaped from her lips.
"Surprise," Quinn moaned sarcastically, chunking the pen down and turning to Robyn, "Look, tell Puck I came and got Beth-"
"Oh, well now I don't think that's appropriate," Robyn frowned while crossing her arms, puckering our her lips and pouting a bit, "I mean it is after all the big week." Quinn clenched her fists in anger as she stepped toward Robyn, resisting the urge to strike the woman in the face with the nearest kitchen appliance.
"Well she is after all my kid so-"
"Our kid Quinn," Robyn said sweetly, "I mean after this weekend we're all family right?" Quinn breathed through her nose as she leaned into Robyn, arching her eyebrow as she growled to Beth.
"Honey go play in your room a sec, alright?"
"Ok mama, but come get me when you're done!" The small child scampered off as Quinn glared at Robyn, no longer having any reason to hold back.
"One, you will never be my family. Two, you got a lot of fucking nerve to say some stupid shit like that to my face. And three, be glad that baby's in your belly, because your ass would've been on the other side of this kitchen if it wasn't for little Damien kicking around in there." Robyn dropped the smile she had so perfectly learned to plaster on, moving her head side to side as she leaned into Quinn.
"Don't think I'm not onto you Quinn, I know what you've been up to and it's not working. Puck isn't leaving me for you, so get over it already and move on, you're pathetic."
"Yes, because I trapped Puck in a relationship with me because of our baby-Oh wait! That was you." Robyn and Quinn were merely inches from the other, Quinn not backing down as Robyn scoffed.
"Are you that desperate for him that you've resorted to making up lies?"
"I don't know Robyn, are you that desperate for him that you've resorted to getting knocked up to keep him around?"
"Oh that's it-"
"Bring it bitch-"
"Quinn?" Both women stopped as Puck sat up on the couch, neither realizing how loud they had gotten. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes while fumbling with his nose, hopping up hurriedly and making his way to the blonde as she scrambled to leave.
"I was just leaving-"
"Please Quinn, I need to-"
"You heard her, she was just-"
"Take a walk Robyn," Puck snapped loudly, startling Quinn at how demanding and angry his voice was. The red head was more than taken aback, scoffing as she stared between the two. Quinn's previous plans were suddenly changed as she decided to stay, not really wanting to talk to Puck but needing to see Robyn's face as she left.
"Well-well I'll just go to my mom's for the night then," she huffed.
"Adios," Puck said with his eyes still fixed on Quinn, his anger at Robyn for her actions at the dinner still lingering on.
"I-well-fine," she said as she stormed through the kitchen and paused in the doorway, "But I will have you know-"
"Door, thanks," Puck shouted, flicking his hand dismissively towards her as he made his way to the living room. Robyn slammed the door so hard the whole apartment shook, Quinn impressed with Puck as he plopped down on the couch.
"Look, I know you don't want a god damn thing to do with me," Puck said lowly as he looked at Quinn, his tone much gentler and his face growing softer, "But I want-I need to explain this to you Quinn, I owe you that."
"You owe me a hell of a lot more than that," Quinn shot back, trying to pretend she was more angry than hurt.
"I-I know," Puck agreed, "So please, give me the chance to do that, please. After this I'll let you go and I won't ever bother you again, but you have to hear me out." Quinn could tell he was hurting, misery etched on his face as his expression became somber. She wanted desperately to hate him like she said she had, forcing herself to remember all the pain he had put her through yet knowing none of it even eclipsed the love that pounded in her chest.
"Fine," she murmured as she joined him on the couch, Puck thanking her as he turned to face her.
"Quinn I'm sorry, sorry for keeping this from you and sneaking around. I never meant to hurt you, and knowing I did just kills me. I promise I planned on telling you, but there was never a good time or we kept fucking getting interrupted and-look, Robyn telling you was fucking low. I know she did it to get under your skin and hurt you, and trust me I've threatened this wedding because of that shit. I am more sorry than you'll ever know that you had to find out like that, and if I could take it all back I would, swear." He was so close, too close, barely inches away from her lips as he spoke. Puck tried to pull Quinn towards him but she resisted, knowing good and well what happened when they got too close.
"No, no you don't get to just squeak on by with this by charming me," she said, trying to force her angry tone on again, "You can't use my feelings for you against me, you humiliated me in front of everyone Puck-"
"I know Quinn-"
"I don't think you do!" she shouted, "You made me look like a god damn fool, throwing myself at you and then kissing me like that, the whole time you knowing you had a baby on the way and you just keep leading me on."
"I wasn't leading you on!"
"Bull shit!" Puck grew frustrated as she interrupted him, trying to tell her the truth but Quinn refusing to listen.
"Look, what I did to you was awful-"
"Absolutely-"
"And holding the truth from you for so long was almost cruel-"
"I couldn't agree more-"
"I shouldn't have kissed you like that in the dressing room, it was inappropriate-
"…right, yeah…"
"But of all the things I did to you, I never once lied to you about how I feel."
"I-what?" Quinn stared as Puck leaned in, grabbing her hand and pulling her close.
"Quinn I never lied to you, never, not once," he said as he shook his head, "I meant what I said that day, I've always loved you and I always will." Quinn wished she had an off switch for her heart, the damn thing beating rapidly in her chest as he smiled at her.
"Puck-"
"Look, you know how I feel about you," he said as he scooted closer, Quinn wishing he would stop tracing circles on her hand as he spoke lightly, "I think you've always known, I mean everyone has, and I couldn't and can't change those feelings." Quinn was more than glad they were sitting, her knees wobbling weakly as he spilled his heart out to her.
"Then why are you doing this?" she asked as she jerked him towards her, "Why are you marrying that woman?"
"Because she's pregnant Quinn-"
"You didn't marry me!" Quinn yelled as she shot up, "I mean you got me knocked up and you didn't walk down the aisle with me! Why, huh? What's so different between her and I?"
"I couldn't do that to you Quinn," Puck sighed as he stood to join her, "I-I couldn't trap you like that. You had all these dreams and goals, you were going places and going to do these amazing things with your life. You deserved so much better and I couldn't tie you down and keep you from that. I loved you too much to ruin your life."
"You wouldn't have ruined my life!" Quinn said as she felt her tears once again welling up, "But you are now by marrying her."
"Quinn I can't do to another kid what I've done to Beth," he said as he followed her around the couch, Quinn trying to hide her face as he tried to explain, "I can't shuffle another kid around like this, it's too much." Quinn shook her head, understanding but still not accepting his decision.
"Puck you don't even love her," she cried as she turned around, "Do you?" Puck fumbled with his words, switching between shaking his head and sighing.
"That pause, that pause right there is your answer!" Quinn exclaimed as she walked towards him, placing her hands on his face as she tried desperately to reason with him, "Please don't do this Puck, please I am begging you."
"I've never wanted something as bad as I want you," he whispered as he rested against her forehead, mumbling into her hairline while trying to hold onto her for as long as she would let him, "but I just-I-damn it Quinn, I can't hurt anyone else."
"Except yourself," she said as she pulled back and looked at him innocently, "Because that's who's gonna hurt the most if you do this." Puck's eyelids were closing slowly as he leaned lower into her, Quinn watching as he was lulled by her reasoning.
"Puck please, please don't just marry her for the baby," she said as she made him look her in the eye, "Please don't throw away your life for one that isn't even born yet. There are other options, but if you do this now you lose them all." Puck was nodding along as he brushed his lips against hers, Quinn pulling her lips back as he backed her into the counter.
"Did you mean what you said the other night," he whispered as he pushed her hair back behind her ears, each stroke of his fingers shaking Quinn to her core, "That I'm the biggest mistake you made and that you regret me, did you mean that?" Quinn almost laughed as he asked, shaking her head while looking back up.
"How could I?" she said breathlessly, "I can barely stay mad at you." Puck continued to close the space between them, both of them knowing this would happen yet neither wanting to stop it.
"Do you hate me Quinn?" Puck whispered in her ear as his face found the crook of her neck, Quinn trying to push him away before a repeat of the dressing room happened again but failing miserably.
"No," she whimpered as his lips found the same sensitive spot again, "Do you love me Puck?"
"Yes," he moaned as she jerked his lips to hers, completely forgetting every reason she shouldn't kiss him and giving in to him once more.
