Thanks for the support, folks! I said up front that this wasn't going to be about their reconciliation, and yet here I am in chapter nine still getting things sorted out. But we're getting there at last. Enjoy.
Chapter Nine
"Where's my mom?"
At the sound of Sheldon's voice, Amy opened her eyes. Sheldon was sitting up in bed watching her.
"What?"
"My mother. Why isn't she here?"
Amy sat up and rubbed her eyes. She glanced out the window and noticed that it was now dark outside. She had slept much longer than she intended. She looked at Sheldon, who was watching her closely as he waited for an answer.
"She's on her way," Amy began, clearing her throat. "She was on a mission trip with her church group in a remote area of Mexico."
Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Oh, right. She told me about that but I wasn't really listening. If the area was so remote, how did you find her?"
"I didn't. Meemaw did."
"You talked to Meemaw? How is she? You didn't scare her did you? She's recovering from knee surgery herself." He winced when he tried to push himself up, forgetting about his injuries.
"Calm down, Sheldon," Amy fussed, rising to help him get settled again. "You're gonna hurt yourself."
"Too late!" Sheldon grumbled.
Amy frowned at him. "Meemaw is fine and I only told her the truth. Of course she was scared. We all were. But you need to think about yourself right now, or you'll make your injuries worse." She roughly arranged the covers over him and tucked them around his legs.
Sheldon sat back and glared at her. After she had settled back in her chair, matching his glare, he softened. Now he was practically pouting. "Why are you mad?"
His voice was a whisper, but to Amy if felt like a slap. Is that what he thinks? That I'm angry? Doesn't he know how scared I've been? He is worried about his family. But what about me? For a genius, sometimes he isn't too bright!
Amy looked up to find Sheldon looking at her with a strange expression on his face. There was a soft smile playing on his lips, but his eyebrows were arched comically. The look was almost maniacal. She couldn't help but laugh.
"Why are you laughing?" Sheldon demanded.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she countered, ignoring his question.
He said nothing, just continued to stare at her. After a few minutes, he settled back on his pillows and started fussing with the blanket across his hips. Without looking up at Amy, he spoke.
"I'm sorry I scared you, Amy." It was gently spoken and obviously sincere. If he had been looking at her, he would have noticed the shocked expression that flashed across her face before she schooled her features and nodded briskly.
"Thank you, Sheldon. I appreciate that." How did he know I was just thinking about that? She was about to ask him, but his next words derailed her.
"I still want to know why you are here." Again the words were softly spoken, but there was a challenge in his eyes as he looked at her.
Amy took a deep breath, secretly adopting Kolinahr to keep from strangling her estranged boyfriend. She didn't want to fight with him and, despite what he thought, she didn't enjoy being angry with him. She considered her words carefully, then threw the question back at him.
"Why wouldn't I be here, Sheldon?"
He shrugged and looked back down at his lap. "I don't know. Because you broke up with me. Because you said you needed space. Because you don't love me anymore. Take your pick." He looked up at her through his lashes as he uttered the last sentence.
Amy couldn't decide if she wanted to hug him or strangle him. He watched her closely, unnerving her. She realized he had been studying her a lot since the accident. Her mind wandered to another question that had been plaguing her.
"Why did you call my name?"
Sheldon was clearly shocked by the change in topic. "What?" he asked, clearly confused. "When was that?"
"Leonard said he heard you speak my name just before the car struck you. Why?"
Sheldon searched his memory and then narrowed his eyes. "You answer my question and I'll answer yours."
Amy nodded. "Fair enough. I am here, Sheldon, because I care about you more than anyone else on earth. When I found out you had been hurt, I was frantic to get to you. And once I did, there was no way I was going to leave your side. Not for a second. And while I swore I wasn't going to dignify your comment with a response, let me tell you once again that I do love you. More than you will ever know or understand. Actually, more than I understand sometimes. Which was why I asked for some space in the first place."
Sheldon licked his lips and blinked at her. "I'm glad," he said. "I hate that I need to hear it so much, but I do. I hope you're happy." He shook his head in disgust. "You have turned me into a full-fledged hippie. I may as well let my hair grow and start wearing sandals."
Amy, seeing through his bluster, laughed. "Don't burn your library card just yet, Moonbeam. I think you'll be okay. Now it's your turn. Why did you call my name?"
Sheldon sighed before answering. "I had just left your apartment, so you were on my mind. And when my life flashed before my eyes, all I could see was the way we had left things. I didn't want it to end that way between us."
Amy reached out to touch Sheldon's hand. "I didn't want that either. It was all I could think of in the waiting room. 'What if I don't see Sheldon again?' It was torture."
They fell into a comfortable silence, each of them reminded of just how much they mean to each other … and just how much they have to lose.
"I miss my best friend." Sheldon said at last.
The melancholy in his voice touched Amy. "Want me to go get Leonard?"
"I'm not talking about Leonard!" Sheldon was exasperated. How could she really think he meant Leonard?
"Oh," Amy said simply. She smiled at him as tears filled her eyes. I miss you too, Sheldon. If you only knew how much. "You've never called me your best friend before." she said instead.
Sheldon nodded. "I know. But you are more similar to me than anyone I've ever met. Surely you know how much I treasure –"
"Hey Shelly!"
Sheldon was interrupted by Howard poking his head around the door of his hospital room. He watched, disgruntled, as Amy wiped the tears from her eyes and removed her hand from his. With a sigh of resignation, he greeted his visitor, albeit not too fondly.
"Howard, what are you doing here?" His gaze shifted back to Amy, who gave him a weak smile.
"Be nice," Howard warned. "Last night was new comic book night, so I brought you this." He held up the latest issue of The Flash and waved it in front of Sheldon. "You're welcome," he said sarcastically when Sheldon continued to stare at him.
"Thanks." Sheldon was actually touched by the gesture, and of course he wanted to read it, but he resented his friend's lousy timing.
"You know what?" he said, an idea suddenly occurring to him. "That's actually a great idea! While I'm stuck here in this germ-infested disease factory, what better way to spend my time than reading comic books? I never thought I'd say this, but you're a genius, Howard Wolowitz."
Howard looked from Sheldon to Amy and then back to Sheldon. "Okay, we all heard him say that right out loud. Drugs or no drugs, I won't let him forget it."
Sheldon gave him a withering glare. Even bearing gifts, this guy was tedious. "Anyway," he said drily, "I was thinking maybe you could go to my apartment and get me some of my favorite comics. They would make my stay here so much better," he pleaded, trying to sound pitiful. Really he just wanted to get rid of Howard so he could continue his conversation with Amy, but having something to read wouldn't be such a bad thing.
"Me?" Howard whined. "No good deed goes unpunished, huh?" he muttered under his breath. "Why can't Leonard do it?"
"Because Leonard is very busy at work after missing so much time waiting for me to come out of a coma!" Sheldon was as close to yelling as Amy had ever heard him.
"Well, so am I," Howard interjected, meeting Sheldon's challenge. "Do you think Leonard was the only person sitting by your bedside?"
Before Sheldon could respond, Amy spoke up. "I'll go, Sheldon. A little fresh air will probably do me good anyway." She stood and moved to whisper in his ear. "We'll finish our talk later."
Sheldon nodded reluctantly. Hoisted by my own petard! "Alright, but don't be long. Please," he added when she arched an eyebrow.
"I won't. Anything in particular you want?" She gathered her things and headed for the door while he gave her specific instructions about where to find exactly the ones he wanted. She was secretly giddy about how easily he was allowing her to go into his bedroom, but she would never let him know it. She tried to stay calm and detached. Yet when she looked at him, she couldn't help but feel like he knew exactly what she was thinking. She gave him a wave, said goodbye to Howard, and slipped out the door before he could say anything.
"What a great girl," Howard said as he lowered himself into the chair she had vacated.
"I thought you were busy at work," Sheldon said, still bothered that his plan hadn't worked.
"Nah, I've got some time. So tell me what's new around here. Test results come back yet? Any word from the police on the driver?" Howard was obviously settling in for a long visit, so Sheldon relented.
"Well, still waiting for results on most of the neurological tests, but so far everything looks good," he began. "Amy says she can't see any signs of long-term damage, and she's almost an expert. So I think I'm going to make a full recovery. Good news for humanity," he said, smirking.
"Yeah, right. We can all sleep easier tonight," Howard snarked.
Sheldon sat up abruptly. "Sarcasm!"
"Very good, Sheldon. Maybe a hit on the head was just what you needed. I've been telling the guys that for years." Howard laughed at the look of excitement on Sheldon's face over something as simple as recognizing sarcasm.
"Very funny," Sheldon said. "As for the police investigation, I do not know anything about it. Amy and I have not had a chance to discuss it yet."
"Haven't discussed it?" Howard was incredulous. "Sheldon, somebody hit you with a car and drove away. I mean, not that I haven't considered it myself once or twice, but it's a big deal. I would have thought you'd be calling the police every five minutes, demanding a full FBI investigation."
"I've been busy."
"Busy doing what?"
"Getting my woman back!"
Amy felt strange being in Sheldon's apartment alone. She found herself tip-toeing toward his bedroom because she didn't want to disturb the silence. She slowly entered his room like she was entering a cathedral. Even though she had been in there before, there was something oddly sacred about being alone in Sheldon's private sanctuary. She stood in the middle of the room and basked in the essence of Sheldon. His scent was there, along with all of the things that made him who he was. She was awestruck.
Upon closer examination, she could see that things weren't in their typical pristine order. His bed wasn't made and his clothes were spilling out of the top of the hamper. One of his drawers was open and she could see unfolded t-shirts peeking out. The disorder made her feel sad. She knew it was her request for a break that had disrupted his usual routine.
Shaking off the gloom that had descended upon the room, she got down to the task at hand. She took down one of the trays holding his comic book collection and placed it on the bed so she could pick out the ones he wanted. As she sat on the bed, she felt something underneath her thigh. She dug under the covers and pulled out a legal pad. She didn't want to pry, but when she saw Sheldon's own handwriting scrawled across the pages, she could not resist the urge to read it.
Her breath caught in her throat when she saw what he had written across the top of the first page: Why does Sheldon need Amy?
He loves her.
He values her.
He admires her.
He trusts her.
He needs her.
He believes in her.
He enjoys her company.
He wants to impress her.
He wants to please her.
He thinks she is brilliant.
He finds her interesting.
He finds her fascinating.
He finds her beautiful.
He is drawn to her.
He is bewitched by her.
He is at home with her.
He laughs with her.
He tries for her.
He cannot refuse her.
He belongs to her.
He dreams with her and of her.
He plots with her.
He touches her.
He hugs her.
He kisses her.
He holds her hand.
He cuddles with her.
He worries about her.
He takes care of her.
He defends her.
He is possessive of her.
He got her a tiara.
He got her a ring.
Amy choked on the sobs that were clogging her throat. While part of her felt guilty for reading something that was so private, she knew that seeing this list would change her forever. She reached for a fistful of tissues before flipping to a new page and continuing to read his beautiful words.
She is my best friend.
She is important to me.
She amazes me.
She baffles me.
She confuses me.
She overwhelms me.
She challenges me.
She comforts me.
She warms me.
She soothes me.
She honors me.
She understands me.
She belongs to me.
She consumes me.
She loves me.
She frees me.
She terrifies me.
She is my hiding place.
She is my fortress.
She is my refuge.
She is my strength.
She is my peace.
She is priceless.
She is home.
She is mine.
Amy dropped the pages and ran to the door, the comic books all but forgotten. All she cared about was getting to Sheldon and telling him that she'd had all the time she needed. She didn't need a break or any more space. All she needed was him.
She was rounding the second-floor landing when a thought struck her. She turned on her heels and ran back to Sheldon's apartment, reaching for her phone as she crossed the living room and headed back to his bedroom. Fighting tears and bursting with love, she carefully snapped a picture of each of the pages she had read. She knew she would revisit them often.
