More than anything else in life I hated shopping, the crowds, the pushing, the ridiculous conversations you were forced to listen to as you walked down the aisles but walking into the supermarket was my first step in keeping my promise to Matt. I said that I was going to take care of him and that included cooking. Just because I live in hotels and lived off of room service and chocolate doesn't mean I don't know how to cook. I don't exactly mean to brag but I am not bad at it either but I would never make it as a chef or anything I would end up killing someone the first day, literally. That thought alone had prompted me to think about what had happened to my gun? I had it tucked into my waist band of my jeans and some time in between arriving at the docks and going to Matt's place I had misplaced it. I wanted to hit myself not only had I completely forgotten where I had left my bike I had lost my gun too
"Damn it Matt you got me losing my mind" I said to myself
I could feel something vibrating in the back pocket of my jeans, I wasn't exactly sure which surprised me most the vibrating or the fact someone was ringing me in the morning. In my experience if somebody want a job done or wanted to check up on a hit they wouldn't ring until late afternoon or evening once they had their other affairs in order. I reached in and pulled my phone out and answered it
"Mello"
"Hey babe"
Matt was on the other end. I had written down my phone number for him and he had given me his after we had our shower together, which may I add was probably the fucking nicest shower I have ever had.
"Can't you go five minutes without bothering me?" I said in a sarcastic tone hoping that Matt by now had figured out the difference between my sarcasm and my seriousness
"I could try six next time, listen about tonight. When I said I would take you out for dinner I was thinking somewhere quiet and romantic but then I kind of got a better idea. I need you to buy a suit, I know your rolling your eyes right now but please, for me will you buy and wear a suit?" He asked nicely
I was most defiantly rolling my eyes
"Alright, what exactly are you planning?" I asked curiously
"I can't tell you cause otherwise you will know and the whole point of this plan if for you not to know until you're there"
I laughed
"You could just say it's a surprise" I said still laughing at Matt
"Alright babe I gotta get back to work, I'll see you tonight, I love you"
"I love you too"
I hung up the phone and placed it back into my pocket
I had known five definite things about Matt. The first was he was sweet the second he was over-protective the third he was bossy fourth he was caring and fifth he had been the most amazing lover both physically and emotionally.
I still had thoughts about our relationship ending badly, I knew very well we were still in our "honeymoon" phase and eventually that would disappear and that's when the real relationship would commence and I won't lie I hated that thought. I knew with our personalities there would be a lot of clashing and arguments, the test was would the love we shared between us be enough to overcome that? I hadn't been in a relationship, well I guess you could say the only meaningful relationship I have ever had is with my right hand. Yeah, I know way too much information but as you have probably learned what comes out of my mouth or what I think isn't exactly suitable for the religious or minors. So being with Matt was going to test me in more than one way.
I know you probably think it's weird that both Matt and I were saying I love you only after being with each other for less than twenty four hours but like I said if I feel something I say it and I don't hold back and I did want Matt and I was in love with him too and I was sure he was in love with me. Honestly I didn't understand why Matt was single? Sure he was a complete nut and over protecting and had more ups and downs then a fucking roller coaster but if that was all that was wrong with Matt why would people only want a sexual relationship with him? and what kinds of people had they been in order to dominate my Matt and more or less rape him? I mean I fully understood why someone would want to have a sexual relationship with him, the way he made love was like those tantric orgasms you read about they were fucking amazing, but the point was that I couldn't understand why someone couldn't love him no matter how intolerable he seemed, he needed someone with guts to love him, he needed someone who could handle his bullshit and he needed someone who wouldn't leave just after one argument and I wanted to be that person for him. Despite his flaws Matt was an intelligent, loving, kind, caring man who just wanted someone to be there for him even with things went to shit.
The more I thought about Matt the guiltier I felt for assuming our relationship would be over once the honeymoon phase was finished. If I really loved him, providing he didn't cheat on me and providing neither of us weren't violent towards each other, then why would it be over? Wouldn't I just be like everyone that has been in contact with him? I started to feel almost sick in my stomach, I didn't know how relationships worked exactly but I couldn't just assume it would all be over because we both had strong personalities.
"That bastard may have skipped out on me this morning but I know he would love me for the rest of his life so I suppose I can forgive him" I said to myself as I walked up and down the aisle completely ignoring what was on the shelf.
"Why am I even here? he said he is taking me to fucking dinner...CHOCOLATE!"
Now you probably think I am a complete nutcase talking to myself in fucking public but in case you are one of the normal ones who doesn't talk to themselves in public, you know those stupid to do lists well me talking to myself is my to do lists I verbally remind myself of what I am supposed to doing or recapped what I was thinking, normally I would write stuff on my hand but in situations like this I simply reminded myself with words. It had felt like forever since I had chocolate so it was no wonder I had been so temperamental. Chocolate to me was what crack was to a crack addict, if I didn't have it I went into withdrawals and that was not pretty.
I had read the signs on each aisle until I found the one marked confectionery. I think I probably almost ran at that point and gathered up at least, from what I counted, ten big blocks of chocolate and rushed to the checkout. I don't mean to seem big-headed but even with the bandages people in general like the look of me, and I am an attractive man. So when the young black haired girl behind the counter smiled at me and kept looking up after every block she scanned I was hardly surprised, next would come the "oh you poor thing" routine.
"Oh you poor man what happened to your face"
Every time I was asked that after I got my burns I usually played around with the answer. I like to joke around a lot with other people because I get a kick out of their reactions and since Matt decided to share what he was doing to me with Charlie I was going to make up a fabulous..forget I said that I maybe a fag but I don't say that word..fantastic story
"Oh it's just a couple of burns, accident with electrical nipple clamps I used on my boyfriend, he is a real weirdo gets turned on by all sorts of strange things, it kinda back fired but that's a long story" I smiled at her
Killed two birds with one stone, I got Matt back, even though he didn't hear what I said and it stopped the girl from making flirty eyes at me. She finished scanning the chocolate, bagged it all and I paid for them and left still smiling. As soon as I was outside I pulled one of the bars out of the bag and attacked it like a hungry raccoon and took a big chunk out of it and started eating. It was like the first hit of the day and it felt so fucking good all I needed now was my hand job from Matt and I would have been completely happy.
