A/N: Wow, all of your reviews for the last chapter were so awesome. I truly loved reading every one. It inspired me to post this one early :) Reviews make me ever so happy! I hope you enjoy this one as well, even though it is a little bit of a filler. Special thanks to 4mejasper for pre-reading!

Chapter 8

EPOV

I flew down the highway, as if the speed would leave my troubles behind. Only they didn't stay in Boston where I left them; they followed, consuming my thoughts. No wonder Jacob was so snappy and distant with me. He was finding solace with another person. A woman.

It was the last straw. Jacob told me he didn't need me, and he obviously found what he needed in the arms of this mysterious woman I'd never even heard of. All I could see was the young, pretty blonde wrapped up in Jacob's strong arms, where I should be. I had to leave. I just couldn't bear the thought of looking him in the face after he'd betrayed me like that, even if he wasn't having sex with her. The fact that he was finding emotional support from her felt just as bad.

I hoped that leaving would show Jacob just how much he actually did need me. I had left him no option to follow me, having taken the only working vehicle. Jacob took the subway to his downtown job daily, and the bike was still broken down in the driveway. Jacob never had any time to tinker with it, nor did we have the extra money for whatever part it needed to make it run again. He couldn't possibly follow me unless he got that bike fixed. He could phase, I supposed, but there were too many towns and cities between our house and Carlisle's; he would have to phase in and out, and walk much of the way. I knew he wouldn't do that.

I'd also left my cell phone behind in my haste. I hadn't meant to, but I was glad I did because Jacob would surely be blowing it up with calls once he realized I had left him. I half-hoped he wouldn't know where I'd gone, but the rational part of me knew he would call Carlisle's house the moment he found the house empty, the car gone, and my phone left on the table. I really didn't want to hear what he had to say. I was so beyond done listening to him.

About halfway to Carlisle's house, Billy began wailing in his car seat. I tried to calm him by singing nursery rhymes, but it wasn't working like it usually did. Just when I thought I might lose my mind over his cries, Sarah chimed in.

"Daddy, I'm hungry."

I looked at her in the rearview mirror, her lower lip pouting and her hand rubbing her belly. Shit! In my haste to leave, I forgot to feed them. What a selfish asshole of a father I was.

"I'm so sorry, baby. Daddy should have made you lunch. We'll stop and get something."

Thankfully there was a McDonalds at the rest stop a few exits down. One meal of chicken nuggets wouldn't kill them. We stopped and they ate, and I let them run around the play area for a while before getting back on the road. It was good for them to get their energy out, but it was also a good distraction for me since I had to focus on them not getting hurt or running off.

We arrived at Carlisle's estate in the Berkshire's about two and a half hours after we'd left home. I checked the clock as I drove slowly up the long driveway—5:45pm. Jacob would be home in half an hour. I wondered what he would think when he discovered we were all gone. Soon, the house was in view, and I pulled to a stop in front of the garage. The door was open and a car was parked in it—someone was here after all.

"We're here! We're here!" Sarah shouted in excitement.

The front door opened as I slid out of the driver's seat and started to unbuckle Billy from his car seat. Alice and Esme came outside with huge grins plastered on their faces, and Sarah threw open her door, launching herself into her grandmother's waiting arms.

"Edward! This is a surprise! What are you doing here?" Alice asked, scooping Billy from my arms and giving him a smooch before kissing my cheek as well.

I laughed at her enthusiasm. "I might ask you the same question. I didn't expect to find anyone here."

"Oh, Esme and I just needed to get away from the compound for a while."

"We hadn't been back to this house in a few months," Esme said. "You know how I hate for my houses to gather dust. And I found this really lovely wallpaper that I wanted to hang in the library."

"And I came with her. Those Romanian vampires are visiting with Carlisle, and they give me the creeps. So, this was the perfect excuse to leave."

I nodded my understanding. "Is Jasper here?"

Alice looked a little forlorn. "No, Carlisle needed him to handle a shipment of synthetic blood that got delivered to the wrong place."

"Oh, that's too bad." Truthfully, I was glad Jasper wasn't here. I would probably destroy him with the myriad of painful emotions coursing through me. "So, were you going to call me and tell me you were in town?"

Esme gave me an apologetic look. "Sorry, Edward. We were going to, but we weren't staying long, and we knew Anthony was visiting. We didn't want to interrupt your family time since you haven't seen your son in so long. And then, with Sarah in school and Jacob working, I knew you wouldn't be able to visit on such short notice. Although, here you are, so I suppose I was wrong."

"Where is Jake anyway?" Alice asked, looking around as though he might pop out of the woods.

"Working." My answer came out a lot stonier than I meant it too, and they both gave me an odd look. Alice moved on to another topic, but Esme continued to look at me with concern.

"Geez, Edward. Look at how you dress when I'm not around. Seriously, without me, you dress like a teenage boy."

I looked down at my vintage Led Zeppelin band t-shirt and faded jeans. What was so wrong with that? "I am a teenage boy."

Alice huffed. "You stink too. Usually you do us the courtesy of showering before you come. Lessen the dog smell, you know?"

"Yeah, sorry. I left quickly this time."

I had unloaded the bags from the trunk as we talked, and we all made our way up the porch steps and into the house.

"So, what's going on, Edward?" Esme asked. "Not that we are unhappy about it—far from it—but why the surprise visit?"

Before I could respond, the phone began to ring. I looked at the clock on the mantle. 6:10. It was Jake. Not wanting Esme to answer it first, I rushed over to the side table and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Edward! What the fuck? Why did you leave? You didn't even take your phone! How could you take the kids away from me!"

I took a deep breath and glanced over at Alice and Esme. They both looked shocked, having heard his yelling quite clearly with their sensitive hearing.

Turning my back to them, I spoke softly but firmly. "You're bad for them right now. Your moods are too erratic." My voice was steadier than I expected.

"Fuck, Edward, I'm a mess right now, don't you know that? How can you do this to me?"

"Who the fuck is Marcy, Jacob," I hissed into the phone.

There was a short pause. "What?"

"You heard me."

There was a significantly longer pause. "Shit, Edward. It's not what you think. I—"

I hung up the receiver before he could finish, not wanting to hear his excuses. I knew what I saw, and I wasn't in the mood to hear him backpedalling.

Of course, Esme and Alice heard every word of the conversation. Even if he hadn't been screaming, they would have heard.

"You left him," Alice whispered.

"Yes."

"It must be really bad if you left him."

"It is."

Alice fell silent, her eyes unfocused as she tried in vain to see into my future.

Esme looked at me, hurt and worry evident in her eyes. "Edward, how long has this been going on? Why didn't you tell me?"

My sigh was heavy. "Esme, I just couldn't talk about it, okay? I still don't want to." I crossed my arms over my chest, hoping she would take the hint that I didn't want to continue this line of questioning. Thankfully, she didn't push me.

"Okay, dear," she said hesitantly. "I'm here for you when you're ready to talk."

With that, she took the children outside, but Alice stayed behind. She wasn't going to let it drop so easily. But still, I tried to avoid her questions, turning quickly on my heel to bring the bags to our room.

Alice followed me down the hall, grabbing me by the shoulder. I stopped, turning to face her with resignation.

"Why is he being like this?" she asked quietly.

I shrugged. "Things changed suddenly for him and he doesn't like the direction he's headed in. He takes it out on me. Because who better to dump it all on than the person who loves him."

"Is he cheating on you?"

"I don't know, Alice. I don't think so…but I'm not sure."

"Have you tried to talk to him about this, or did you just run away?"

"Of course I have," I snapped. "And he always says he'll do better, but it never changes."

"Maybe he doesn't realize—"

"No, Alice. I tell him quite plainly how I feel. He's depressed and I try to help him, but he blows me off. He never listens to me. It's like I don't even exist anymore."

I turned and made my way into the bedroom to begin unpacking the suitcase. Alice followed and sat down beside it on the bed.

"Why do you stay, if he only makes you feel bad?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I didn't stay."

"I mean, why did you stay for so long."

I sighed inwardly. "Because he doesn't only make me feel bad. He makes me feel a lot of things. It's complicated. I just feel everything more intensely when it involves him."

"Ok, so, which feeling makes you stay?"

I paused my unpacking for a moment, faltering. "It's embarrassing."

"Tell me anyway," Alice said with a grin, leaning forward on her palms.

I couldn't believe I was telling my sister this even as I spoke the words. "Because I want him, okay? I can't not want him. I've tried, but I need him like that. No one else would do."

She smiled more naturally and nodded. "I understand."

I blinked at her. "You do?"

"I do."

The phone began to ring again. Alice looked to the open doorway.

"Don't answer it."

She looked at me sadly, but didn't make a move toward the phone. After several rings, the machine picked up.

Carlisle's voice came through the machine. "You've reached the Cullens. Please leave a message."

"Edward? Edward! I know you're there, please pick up!" Jacob's voice was desperate and strained, like he'd been crying. "Edward, you have to let me explain! Please, please call me…oh, Edward…fuck."

When the message ended, I swallowed against the hard lump in my throat. I hated to hear him like that. He didn't cry much, and when he did, I could feel it in the very depths of my so-called soul. Alice noticed my pained expression, and she came over to hug me, wrapping her slight arms around my waist.

"Maybe you should hear him out," she whispered into my chest.

I pushed her from me gently, but firmly enough to show her I was serious.

"No, Alice. I've given in too many times. I don't want to hear what he has to say. I can't. Whatever he says, he'll just forget it again once I forgive him. I'm tired of it. I need a break, and he needs to realize what he's missing without me. It's the only way left. Maybe this will change things, maybe it won't. I'm not going to hold out hope. It hurts too much."

"I'm sorry, Edward."

"Yeah, me too."

~SOD~

That night, after the kids were in bed, I told Alice and Esme everything. I told them how it had all begun when our money had drained away, and Jacob's job at the auto shop had been filled before he could return. How he had to take a job he hated to support us all, and how the drudgery of it combined with the financial strain had taken its toll on him. I told them how he'd refused to let me ask Carlisle for help, his foolish pride outweighing our needs. I told them about how his father's death and the lost connection to the pack, along with our distance from the familiarity of our life in Oregon, had made him feel like he was alone in the world. And I told them how it all affected me—the hurt I felt about not being enough for him, and the anger and resentment I had toward him for not listening to my advice or allowing me to help him. Finally, I told them what little I knew about Marcy, and how that had been the final straw for me.

Somehow, I managed not to cry. Perhaps I had cried all that I could at that point. I just felt numb inside. They listened to it all without interruption, letting me get everything off my chest. When I fell silent, Esme came to sit next to me on the couch, taking my hand in hers.

"Edward, do you really think he's sleeping with this girl?"

I sighed and looked down at our hands. "No. I am pretty sure he's not…physically involved with her. Not yet, anyway. But it's cheating all the same, Esme. He doesn't want my support, won't let me help him. He's finding what he needs with someone else, and I can't do anything about it. I've tried."

"Were things any better when Anthony was there?" Alice asked.

"At first, but then he flipped out on Sarah, and then again on Billy. Embry was there too. He imprinted on Miracle, so that didn't go over too well with Jacob either."

"How do you feel about that?" Esme asked.

I shrugged. 'She could do worse than Embry." I sighed. "Anyway, after Jacob went off on the kids, Anthony got me alone and asked me if everything was okay. He was worried that Jacob was hurting me emotionally, and I told him Jake was just having a bad day. But he knew something was wrong. Leah cornered me too, and I did end up confessing a lot of this to her. I didn't know about Marcy at that time though."

They were quiet for a while, reflecting on what I'd told them. Eventually Esme spoke, squeezing my hand tighter. "Sweetheart, Jacob needs you. His mind got clouded by his problems and his sadness. You leaving was the best thing you could have done."

"Maybe now Jacob will realize how much he needs you in his life, what he would be missing if you were gone for good," Alice added. "He'll appreciate you more after all of this."

"Maybe," I whispered.

"I'm sure of it, dear. Just give him some time." Esme patted my arm gently. "Why don't you get some sleep, Edward. Sleep will do you a world of good."

Alice nodded. "Don't worry about the kids. We've got them."

Sleep did sound good. "Yeah, all right." I left them then and went to bed. The minute my head hit the pillow, I was out.


A/N: What are we thinking out there? Do you think Edward was wrong to just leave like that, without telling Jacob first? The next update will be the heavily anticipated Jacob outtake. I'm pretty excited about it. I hope I did him justice.