'Ello.
So I'm back and ready to rock. Been a little bit of time since I've updated, but that was because I was finishing the story! It's done!
Not really. But it's almost done. I expect it to be a little longer than the preceding work, which means I have about 3-4 more chaps ahead of me. Goodie.
But in honor of that, and in an effort to make things more interesting, I'm offering a little contest. Well, two.
I have a character that will appear a little later, but I have no idea what her name should be. She's snarky, has some sass (she's not Rouge) and will be very important to Amy later on. (Hint: she's a law student.) So what's her name and species? Your pick. Maybe more than one winner. Winner(s) receive the ability to ask me whatever question they want about the series (or even me!), or I'll write ya a little story. Please review, but feel free to PM your response as well. Many will enter, few will win. ;p
Disclaimer: I do not own SEGA. So yeah, let's move on.
Chapter 9: Miss Independence
Rejection
Contrary to what constant losers say, it felt worse the third time.
So, like all bitter females who wished they had a far sweeter outcome in life, I went to the only place that could perhaps reduce my aggression toward the opposite sex and romantic encounters in general.
The library.
Yay, single nerds. Only I couldn't even have that. Every couple in the universe was here, probably cramming for finals. Because studying with your boyfriend wasn't totally distracting, right?
But I wasn't right about anything. At least not anything so far. I wasn't going to go on the "here's a list of everything that went terribly wrong in my life" spiel, but it just seemed like something was off. It had to be impossible for my life to be this devastatingly random.
I was hoping that books would give me stability. All stacked and well organized, the library was definitely what I needed in life—structure. Of course, I had no idea how this environment was going to help with my personal life, but I guess I was just hoping that a change in scenery would change the direction of my life.
And it may have been far-fetched, but at least it was better than wallowing in my pity. Nope, I was supposed to get people out of theirs. Yup. That's why I was going to be a lawyer.
Because I needed a distraction, right? Most of the gang decided to settle down now that Eggman wasn't a constant threat and the world seemed less complicated. A life of leisure was supposed to be our reward.
But I was still restless. And I was beginning to worry that nothing would be able to relax me. I mean, I couldn't even go to the library without mentally lashing at innocent students.
I sat down at a table in the far corner of the University of Knothole library. It was darker here. Quite and lonely here. Setting my things down, I stretched, studying the window to my right. I was three-stories above the world, and the people on it looked like small, animated dolls.
Unaffected. That's what I was trying to be. That's why I was here. I didn't want to sulk in my misfortune anymore.
I know that things didn't work out with Parker. But it's not like I expected it to. It's not like I even wanted it too. Maybe I was done with Scourge—whether I wanted to be or not—but that didn't mean that I had to go with the next guy who offered his hand.
Pickiness. I was persistent, but now that I thought about it, I wasn't picky. Sonic was just a guy who had rescued me a couple times in my youth. I fell in love with him. Scourge was just a bad boy who offered me a ride home. I gave myself to him. Parker was just a doctor.
I pursed my lips. I messed up, didn't I? He was the handsome prize, wasn't he? And I threw him away. But I wasn't interested. Was I? I don't think it was too late to change my mind if I wanted to be with him. He was a great kisser...
I shook my head. Independence. I had to be independent. I was just hard, convincing myself that choosing to be by myself wasn't the same as being alone.
I tapped my fingers against the oak desk, struggling to stay focused. But I had nothing. Nothing that I wanted to study at least. I had some undergrad law texts with me, but they couldn't hold my interest. You all know what did.
Love. And it was a shame. How I was a shame—I mean. My potential had been lost over the years. I mean, I saved the world as a teenager. The universe. Why was love my greatest adversary?
My eyes trailed the crowded library space. Fat Mobians were holding hands with skinny Mobians. Ugly Mobians were lip-locking with attractive Mobians. At the library.
I knew I was a catch. I was pleasant. Pretty. I smelled nice. So how come I had be in the same situation all over again? A rotting rose while love bloomed in the air?
There was a loud laugh that pierced through the air, followed by an exasperated shush by the librarian. I rose from my chair. Enough of this undergrad nonsense. I was going to be a law student. I deserved better studying conditions.
Gathering my books, I started for the elevator to the Law Library. Part of me wondered if it would be better for me to just go home. Studying wasn't the distraction I thought it would be. And frankly, I didn't mine being alone—independent—at my apartment. At least I didn't have to hide my feelings.
It was funny though. The idea of being a lawyer. Part of me also wondered why I wanted to pursue that field. The others were practically in retirement. We had gotten college degrees so that no one could call us uneducated, and decided the live life to the fullest. We deserved it, didn't we?
Apparently I didn't, or I wouldn't be alone. But I was trying not to wallow in my own self-pity. At least for a day.
I pressed the down button and tapped my foot lightly against the tan carpet. Nothing would have prepared me for what the doors opened to.
"Tails?" I uttered, though more annoyed than shocked. I just wanted peace. And he was probably going to yell at me for yelling at his girlfriend. Then I would yell at him back.
"Hi, Amy," he replied simply, his blue eyes shifting to his bag before settling on me. "There was a breach in the university's electronic server. I'm here to fix it."
If only he could fix my miserable life.
"Anyway," he began, with a slight wrinkle of his nose. "What brings you here?"
"Just studying," I said, nodding once. It was nice to see that he was calm. I needed calm. "I'm heading out though now."
"Me too," he offered, as the elevator's lips closed in on us. "I have to go to the physics building."
"I was actually heading to the law building," I said. "I think it's on the same way."
"It is." He nodded. "Let's walk."
So we did. And it was weird. Tails has grown into a young man, though I wondered by it was so unsettling. He was only three years younger than me, but somehow he seemed to be three times more mature than I was. It could have been his height. Or the fact that he had like four Ph.D's.
It was the degrees.
"So," he said. "How are you feeling? Cream said-"
"Cream doesn't have to worry about anything." I offered a grin. "I'm doing decent, considering everything."
I felt that I was. I mean, everyone else only had little tid-bits of what had actually happened. That alone—that Scourge had left me, and I was spiraling into a hole of my own miserableness—could justify my moodiness. If they knew the rest?
I wouldn't know what to do with myself. At least more so.
"That's good to hear," he said, nodding again. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened. And I hope that me being sorry doesn't irk you."
I lifted a brow. "What?" The question came out as a strained laugh.
Tails shrugged his shoulders and I could see Sonic's influence on the refined young man. "It's annoying to have people pity you, am I not right? It's like working on the engine for the X-Tornado for three hours only to realize that the problem was with wing stability."
I puckered my lips, not quite sure that I followed.
Tails rolled his eyes. "Um, not the best analogy—What I meant to say was that when people think that a certain thing is wrong with you, in this case you being sad that Scourge deserted you, I assume, sometimes it distracts you from the real problem."
The real problem? I blinked rapidly, actively searching my mind to make sense of his words. But I couldn't.
"What do you mean, Tails?" I wished that my voice didn't sound so frantic. So desperate. But wasn't I?
Tails shook his head, the expression in his eyes undetectable in the late-afternoon shadow that blanketed us. I didn't know that Tails could appear so dark. Discrete. But little Tails had grown up. He was a man. And they all seemed to carry their secrets in the dark.
"I mean exactly what I said." He started for the physics building, some thirty feet away. "I really hope you can make sense of it." There wasn't pity in his tone, though I wished the answer was in it.
"Bye."
"C'mon!" I called after him, with a stomp of my foot. "Don't go all Yoda on me!"
But he had disappeared. And I was making a scene.
With an irritated huff, I secured my bag over my shoulder. I started in a march toward the parking lot. Forget learning. I wasn't the type of person who could play ignorant when there was an elephant in the room. Ignorance wasn't bliss. And the elephant in the room was my emotional stability. Which wasn't particularly stable.
I didn't want to be affected. But I was. And until I was unaffected, I knew that I couldn't focus on anything. Other than everyone who seemed to have everything that I wanted in life.
I was stupid. I was supposed to be strong—able to brush off something so trivial. But I was Amy Rose.
And Amy Rose didn't back down from a challenge.
So I went to the only person I knew that could help me. I was at Cardin Falls again, and I knew that this wouldn't be easy.
I was talkative by nature. But when I was a teenager, I was very good at reporting the obvious. Talking about things that everyone already knew wasn't hard. It didn't hurt.
Now, I was prepared to spill everything. I didn't want to, but I was prepared.
Knocking on Blaze's door, I wondered whether or not what I was doing was wise. I mean, she wanted to know the truth. I wasn't against telling it if it could get me closer to solving Tail's convoluted puzzle.
Blaze knew me better than anyone else. So much so that it could be frightening. She was the one who told me to become a lawyer, after all.
"You know, you could do a lot more with that mouth of yours," Blaze had said, before lifting a heavy box to her counter. We were in her apartment. She had just moved in, and I took it upon myself to help her. Though I didn't completely know why.
Although we were friendly because of the similar friends we kept, I didn't know what to make of her words. Was she making a blatant observation? Or was she trying to spite me?
I chose to shrug off her words with a smile. "Like what?" I did have some other choice words for her, but I didn't want to set her off. She could burn me alive.
Her lips pressed in a straight line as she pulled out some carefully wrapped mugs from the container. "I don't know? Not tell us your wedding plans with Sonic every waking second? Are you two even dating?"
I pouted, bringing in a box from the kitchen. "If you say something long enough, it's bound to happen."
Blaze scoffed, though it wasn't an angry one. "Wrong. It takes action. Does a lawyer just say that they want their client to be free? Then cross their fingers and pray it'll happen?"
"Probably," I said, using a hand to brush my bangs in place. "And what does that have to do with anything?"
"Nothing, I suppose." Her eyes were on mine now. "I guess lawyers are a little bit better than you though."
"How?" I couldn't hide the offense in my tone. I get it. We weren't friends. So I guess she didn't have to spare her feelings or observations. But I was still helping her, wasn't I? Was she trying to get rid of me?
"All I'm saying is that if you want a man, you're actually going to have to appeal to them-take action."
"Easy for you to say." Silver was hers by day one. Did she even have to try? Did she even have to take action?
"Then be a lawyer." Her tone was serious, but her face was light. Like she could have been smiling if she wanted to.
I parted my lips to say something, before closing them. Be a lawyer? As much as I wanted to fight back, she was right.
It was time to start doing something useful.
But did I? Ever?
It was fair to assume that although my mouth hadn't gotten me into the hole I was in now, it certainly didn't help. The true culprits were a combination of my ignorance and trusting too much.
But I could trust in Blaze. So why hadn't she opened the door?
I closed my eyes when the realization hit me. She wasn't here. She had gone out of town with Silver for the weekend. Probably to celebrate me finally getting a life. Too bad condolences were more in order.
I sighed as I stepped off of her porch. It was a bitter walk to my car. I didn't want to wait. Because I knew how happy Blaze would probably be upon her return. A weekend of bliss with her boyfriend. A friend on the road to recovering. But I had not made any real progress. And I didn't want to bum her out, even with the undetermined revelation Tails had given me.
I began to exit the neighborhood, though slower than I had entered. Things could have just worked out. Life could be easy. But it's not.
Because I was tempted. Their house beckoned to me. And since I never made good decisions, I pulled into Sonic's driveway.
And then I had three decisions. Talk to Sonic. Talk to Sally. Or bolt the hell out of here. They hadn't seen me. I still had time.
But with the whole independence thing, I was trying not to be a coward. Running away was cowardly. And I was always running toward things.
I stepped forward, trying to forget the fact that me running toward things usually lead to my doom. It always led to my doom.
But I had already knocked on the door. Pressed the doorbell. Now it was too late.
"Amy?" Sally said, although her voice sounded more tired than surprised. She stepped out of the entryway, motioning for me to come in.
"Um, hi Sally," I greeted. My eyes scanned around the space. It was weird being here. Now that I thought about it, I hadn't stepped inside this home since incident numero uno. It seemed brighter than I had left it, though the living room was cluttered with wedding arrangements.
I had forgotten Sally was Rouge's maid of honor. Just like I had forgotten Rouge was getting married in the first place.
I tried not to pout. A wedding. And I was the only one that was single. As usual.
"Would you like something to drink? Or eat?" Sally offered as I sat down on the sofa. I shook my head.
"No. Actually I wanted to talk." My eyes were serious against hers. Probably a welcomed expression to my usual depressed, distressed one. Her eyes broadened.
"Look, Amy, you don't have to apologize for anything. We get it. You need time to recover-"
"I know," I interrupted. It was annoying that everyone felt like they could put words in my mouth. "But that's not what I wanted to talk about."
"Okay," she said, trying to relax against the sofa. Even though I was in her home, she seemed on edge. Probably the stress of playing party planner getting to her. Rouge had a way of getting everyone to do her dirty work for her. Even if this was more up Sally's alley anyway. "What is it?"
I tapped my finger-tips against the plushy, leather seat in contemplation. What did I really want to talk about? That Tails had given me a crappy clue to solving my unresolved emotions? If I couldn't figure it out, how would she know what to do? Tails was Sonic's brother after all. He would probably be of more help in terms of decoding the genius's words. But I was stuck with Sally.
"I was at the library where I bumped into Tails," I said, not quite sure where I was going with this. But I had to try. "He said something about me being depressed about something other than what I seem to be depressed about because everyone else thinks I'm depressed about what should be the obvious."
I gritted my teeth when Sally gave me a funny look. I didn't even know what I was talking about.
I sighed, realizing I'd have to make sense of this madness I had foolishly released into the air. "I'm not making sense, am I?" Sally shook her head. I sighed again. "Do you know where Sonic is? Maybe he'd be better at interpreting the convoluted words that come out of his brother's mouth."
"Sonic's out," she said. "He's planning Knuckles' bachelor party."
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Of course, Sonic and Sally-the dream couple-were to the rescue. It didn't help that their names began with the same letter. They were perfect. And I was hopeless.
"And I think I sort of get what you're saying," Sally said, thoughtfully. "Do you know exactly what Tails said?"
I shrugged. "Pretty much what I just said. Though he gave some analogy about trying to fix an engine only to discover that the real problem is with the wings...I don't know."
Sally nodded. "That makes sense." She looked up at the ceiling as if it supplied all of the answers to the universe. Her eyes met mine. "Maybe what he's trying to say is that you being upset that Scourge leaving isn't the real problem."
I wrinkled my nose. How could it not be? He left. And now the world had lost all meaning to me. Pathetic, but true.
"Then what is?" I pondered out loud. What was the problem that had been bumming me out for so long? Sally tapped her finger-tips along her chin.
"Hmm..." She said, thinking this through. "...How do you feel about him leaving you?"
"Awful."
She shook her head. "No, not the obvious. I mean...how do you feel about him leaving?"
"Awful."
"Amy," she warned. I gave an exasperated sigh.
"I don't know. Heart-broken? Is that better your majesty?"
Irritation began to seep from the princess' form. It wasn't fair, what I was doing to her. Bargaining in her home unannounced, uninvited and sort of being a bitch about it. I was probably causing trouble between her and Sonic, too.
"Sorry," I said, softly. "It's just hard. Trying to make sense of everything."
She nodded, before capping her hand over mine. "Maybe that's it. You haven't been making sense of everything. You've just been allowing yourself to be affected."
Affected? I blinked a few times. "By what?"
"Him leaving."
I sighed. It felt like we hadn't made any progress. "I know that already."
"But what don't you know?" Sally countered. By now she had what appeared to be chiffon ribbons in her hands, as she organized them on the coffee table. She was losing interest—getting distracted by the boat load of commitments she had. And I was being a burden.
"I don't know why he left," I offered, with a sigh. Sally clasped her hands.
"Maybe you need closure," she said. I slouched further into the chair.
There was a buzzing in the air—a chime from Sally's cellphone, and I knew that this little discussion was over. Rising to my feet, I offered my friend a satisfied smile.
Of course, I needed closure. But I knew that I wasn't going to get it here.
As Sally began to squabble with the unruly bride to be, I headed toward the door. She gave me a sorry look.
"Remember that Rouge's bachlorette party is next Friday!" she yelled to me. "Trust me, it will make you feel much better about everything." Then she was back to chatting to Rouge.
I swallowed the bitterness in my mouth. "Okay."
But I was unwanted. Confused.
And trying to be independent wouldn't change that.
~KB
