Three days later—

The train had arrived in San Francisco ahead of schedule, much to Artie and Jim's displeasure. There was a knock at the door and Jim rose to get it as Artemus was still wearing his dressing gown. When Jim turned back toward his partner he held a large flat box in his hands.

"What's in this package, Artie?" Jim asked as he handed it to his partner.

"A peace offering for the Colonel…I hope." Artie cringed as he accepted the package and placed it on the settee beside him.

Any further chatting was interrupted as the door opened and the object of their conversation entered the train. Both men rose, Jim helped Artie stand as his arm was lightly bound to his chest, and stood at attention. Colonel Richmond tried to suppress the smile that wanted to force its way onto his face as he removed his jacket and hat placing them on the coat rack in the corner.

He approached the agents and paced back and forth for several long and agonizing moments. Richmond stopped first in front of James, saying nothing just bouncing on his heels. Jim tried hard not to flinch under his glare. Then the Colonel moved to stand in front of Artemus. Jim worked hard to maintain his forward gaze only glancing quickly out of the corner of his eye.

Artemus sucked in a deep breath and held it as he tried to match the Colonel's gaze. He knew he would be severely reprimanded and he was determined to take whatever he had coming with the utmost aplomb. Richmond turned his back to them and he covered his mouth so the laugh wouldn't escape. When he turned back to face his agents, Jim and Artie were fidgeting. The Colonel cleared his throat before he spoke.

"Gentlemen, have a seat." He motioned to the settee behind them and Artie gratefully collapsed onto it.

"We have a rather unique situation, gentlemen. On the one hand we have two agents who were on a well deserved vacation that decided to play a little game between themselves." Artie cleared his throat and shifted uneasily under the Colonel's look.

"And on the other hand we have two agents who undertook a very dangerous stunt that I foresee constituting a rather large problem should their fellow agents try this with their partners." Jim and Artie exchanged a nervous glance.

"I see only one outcome…don't you gentlemen?" The Colonel looked between his agents.

"Sir," Artie began falteringly, "this wasn't Jim's idea. I take full…"

"You would do well to sit there and listen, Mr. Gordon. What you did was preposterous and outlandish behavior for a grown man…let alone an agent of the United States government. You could have been killed or worse!" Richmond thundered, his voice shaking the windows in the parlor car.

"Is there such a thing as worse than dead Jim? Tell Great Aunt Maude I'm coming!" Artie whispered out of the corner of his mouth, Jim somehow managed to keep the smirk from making its way onto his face.

"Your Great Aunt Maude wouldn't even think about helping you out of this mess you've created. But as luck would have it I do have a solution. One that should make an example of you two for every agent to come down the pike for generations to come!"

"Before you kill…er…mete out my punishment, sir, there's something I'd like to give you." Artie reached for the box beside him and presented it to the Colonel.

"What's this…a peace offering, Mr. Gordon? Or perhaps a bribe?"

"What? A bribe? Never sir!" Artie protested.

"I should hope not." Richmond remarked as he opened the package to reveal the new suit.

"I…uh…figured it was the least I could do. I heard they had to burn your other one and…uh…well I'm sorry." Artie was truly apologetic.

"Yes, well thank you for the suit. Now where were we? Oh yes your punishment."

The Colonel turned and walked to the sideboard and poured himself a brandy. Swirling the amber fluid around the snifter, he took his time getting to the heart of the matter as he was greatly enjoying seeing his top agents squirm for a change. When he turned back around Jim swallowed hard, not liking the evil grin on his commander's face.

"I've had a long talk with the President and we decided we needed to come up with a punishment that was both fitting and one that would send a harsh message to your fellow agents."

"Artie, do we still have those Eskimo parkas, something tells me we're going to need them." Jim whispered and Artie quickly shushed him while Richmond glared.

"As I was saying…the President and I have decided your fate. I believe the terms of your little errant game were that the winner would be treated to a lavish supper and tickets to the opera for him and a lady of his choosing…am I correct?"

"Yes, sir," the agents replied in unison wondering where he had come into that information.

"Good. Now that stipulation will be upheld…" The agents exchanged glances and grinned.

"Maybe this won't be so bad after all huh Jim?" Artie grinned.

"However, there has been a change in the roster." Jim and Artie looked at each other then turned quizzical expressions toward their boss.

"The supper reservations will be kept as well the deluxe box at the opera. But you two will be safely tucked away here on the train. The President and his wife will be joining me and my wife for an evening of dining and entertainment…to be completely paid for by you two." Richmond could no longer hide his grin and he chuckled as he watched their jaws crash to the floor.

"But sir, you can't do that!" Artie was saying, "I was supposed to take Danielle…she'll be…" Artie was interrupted.

"She'll be enjoying herself immensely as will Mr. West's intended date for the evening. It's not every day a young lady is invited to dine with the President of These United States and on someone else's dime." Artie looked at Jim who he noted had turned as white as a ghost.

"Artie can you cook up something to turn iron into gold? I think we're gonna need to sell the train!"

EPILOGUE

Jim approached his partner carefully, knowing Artie was still sore about not being able to take Danielle to supper and the opera as planned. He cleared his throat and smiled as Artie looked up.

"Something I can do for you James?" His partner asked.

"Well, I kind of feel like this was my fault. I'll pay the tab for the night, Artie." Jim waved Artie's protests away, "No…I want to. Oh this came for you today." Jim handed him the small package.

"Hmm, it's from Ozzy Sievert. Wonder what he sent." Artie carefully unwrapped the package and peeked in side.

"Well, don't keep me in suspense what is it?" Jim asked as Artie handed him the package as he read the card he had found on top.

"Since you seemed so fascinated by my panda I had one made for you after I heard about your predicament. I have been told if you place it on the mantle it will bring good luck." Artie rolled his eyes and tossed the card onto the table.

"Well if that don't beat all." Artie sighed.

"Yeah, about those panda bears…did the doctor tell you why you kept seeing them everywhere?" Jim asked as he looked out the window and then proceeded to head for the door to the platform, Artie watching his every move.

"He…uh…he said it was probably hallucinations brought on by the fever. The panda was carrying the…uh…the tick and when I started having the hallucinations I was probably thinking about pandas and…Jim just what are you doing?" Artie's curiosity got the better of him.

"I took the liberty of ordering dinner brought in, Artie. The Colonel said we couldn't go out but he didn't say anything about having food brought in." Jim grinned wider than the Cheshire cat as he opened the door and beckoned the deliveryman to enter.

"Awww Jim…" Artie groaned, "You are one cruel man. You know I have a weakness for Chinese food but this is just cruel." Artie gestured toward the basket the man had put on the table while Jim paid him and gave him a handsome tip. Emblazoned on the side of the basket was a large logo of the restaurant…The Bamboo Panda.

WWWWWWWWWW

"Douglas, you were telling us what the doctor said about Artemus." The President prodded the Colonel wanting him to continue.

"What…oh yes. Doctor Evans has thoroughly checked Artemus and with the proper medication and rest he'll be fit for duty in about three weeks or so." Richmond passed menus around the table as he spoke.

"So where are the men tonight then?" Danielle looked over the top of her menu to see her Godfather looking at her with a twinkle in his eye.

"Oh, they are serving out their punishment aboard the train. They'll not be joining us this evening." Richmond saw the stunned look on Danielle's face and smiled.

"Yes, those boys need to be taught a lesson…" Grant spoke as he perused his menu, "and we came up with a punishment guaranteed to ensure no agent tries a stunt like this again." The President winked at her.

"Oh dear Lord, what did you do to them, Uncle?" Danielle looked askance at Richmond.

"Well…part of their punishment is that they must not leave the train for the next three weeks." Danielle gasped.

"What is the rest of their punishment or would I rather not know?"

"Ladies…look over your menus well…" Richmond told them as he seemed to ignore Danielle's question, "order anything you like…anything at all. I've taken the liberty of ordering a bottle or two of Chateau Rothchild 1846." He looked at the two young ladies seated next to the gentlemen's wives.

"Go on ladies…order anything you'd like money is no object tonight. This entire evening is for you two. James and Artemus can't be here with you ladies so they asked us to stand in for them." He snickered and Grant hid behind his menu.

"Yes, ladies order anything you like and if you don't like it order something else. The entire evening is being financed by James and Artemus." Grant could hold back no longer and he roared with laughter.

"Oh my stars!" Danielle said and thanked her lucky stars she was not on her Godfather's bad side.

The End