2006.
General Lunacy.
"He's in there," Chell stated, ducking her head back out of the fifth level cafeteria. "I'm not going in."
Doug gripped her upper arm firmly. "Yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"You have to, otherwise this is just going to look really weird. You're meant to be acting as if nothing happened, remember?"
She met his gaze angrily. "Doug, he drugged me."
His mismatched blue gaze was unwavering. "That's irrelevant. You have to go in there as usual. You have to look him in the eye and greet him normally. Otherwise, he'll just find a way to do it again."
Chell bit her lip anxiously, deflating in sudden defeat. "I don't know if I can."
With a trace of sympathy, Doug said, "Chell, I'm sorry, but you have to. You can't avoid him forever, he's your father."
"That just makes it worse," she muttered, frowning. After a moment, she took a deep breath and finally nodded, standing up straighter. "Okay," she said, her tone distinctly harried. "Let's go."
Purposely not looking at where her father stood in the line for hot food, Chell marched up to the glass-fronted refrigerator and began browsing the sandwiches. Her father caught sight of her when she joined the line to pay, and sent her a hesitant smile. Forcing herself to focus on happy childhood memories, she returned the smile as warmly as she could manage. She silently cursed when he joined the line behind her, however.
"How are you?" he asked quietly, as if he was afraid of the answer.
Chell glanced at him, schooling her features into a more natural smile with a touch of puzzlement. He never usually asked her that, so she felt the confusion was justified.
"I'm fine, why?"
"Can't a father ask his daughter how she is?" he said defensively.
She shrugged. "Well, sure, but I've not seen you in a while. I figured you knew everything was fine."
He nodded, not managing to hide the relief that crossed his face. Perhaps he'd been concerned about unseen side effects to the memory loss drug.
More likely he was worried I remembered something, she thought acrimoniously.
It was odd, but since she didn't remember their conversation first-hand, it did almost seem as if she hadn't seen him for a while. Yet, she knew differently, thanks to Doug's recording.
The man himself was further down the line. He met her eyes, warning her to keep her cool. She gave him a subtle nod.
She paid for her sandwich and coffee, managing to bid her dad a neutrally cheerful farewell, then, thankfully, turned her back on him. Hannah waved at her from a table across the room that she was sharing with a young man Chell hadn't seen before. He was around thirty years old with youthful features, and he sported the blondest hair Chell had ever seen, artfully crafted into tiny, even spikes. Hannah was her usual untidy self, her untameable spirals of black hair wrestled into a ponytail, her glasses sitting askew on her nose. As Chell drew closer, she saw that Hannah's vibrant eye make-up, which always made her look younger than her forty-one years, was carefully applied in bright blue swirls from the outer corners of her eyes to the ends of her eyebrows, luminous against her flawless dark skin. Genuinely smiling for the first time since entering the cafeteria, Chell took a seat opposite them.
"Hi," she greeted brightly.
"Chell, this is my good friend Adam," Hannah said without preamble. "He works in Test Subject Observation and Care."
That grabbed Chell's interest, as she'd heard a lot of rumours about the tests and the test subjects, but she wasn't sure how much to believe. She shot Adam a warm smile.
"Nice to meet you."
"You too," he replied politely. "Hannah's told me a lot about you."
"Ah."
"All good, I promise!" Hannah cut in with a laugh.
Chell grinned, shooting a glance over her shoulder to see where Doug was. He was sitting a few tables away with Henry and two other scientists that she didn't know. From the look on his face, the talk was serious. She turned back to her companions and began to fight her way through the sandwich's ridiculous packaging.
"So," she said as she worked, "how are things in Test Subject Observation and Care?"
"Pretty slow right now," Adam told them, digging into a bag of potato chips. "We've been told to wind things down until the new piece of equipment arrives."
"Ooh, what's that?" Hannah asked before Chell could.
Adam shrugged his lanky shoulders. "We don't know yet. Some kind of device that will make for some interesting tests, apparently. It's still being finished."
Finally gaining access to her lunch, Chell took a bite, stealthily checking Adam's clearance level over the top of her sandwich. It was a nine. High enough that he probably shouldn't have been talking about his work. Still, she wasn't about to point that out.
"That must be frustrating," she commented, dropping an edge of sympathy into her tone.
"Oh, it is. But we're told we should be getting it soon. Within a month or so." He shrugged again. "Hopefully the new device will bring in some new test subjects. It's getting harder and harder to find volunteers from the general public."
"Why don't you use volunteers from within the company?" Hannah suggested, sipping her tea with her pinky finger sticking out. "That's what Mr. Johnson used to do, they say. Back in the 80s."
Adam seemed to consider it, tapping his chin with an index finger. "Could do," he mused. "Couldn't hurt to ask, I guess."
"I'll volunteer," Chell found herself saying.
He shot her a surprised look. "You will?"
"Sure, why not?" She took a swig of coffee, hoping she wasn't making a mistake. "What does it entail, anyway?"
Adam straightened up in his seat, curling his hands around his can of Aperture Laboratories Generic Cola Refreshment. "Well, we run you through a series of preliminary tests first, to see if you're suitable to be a test subject. If you are, we put you through the main tests and record the data. At the end you get a certificate and, I don't know, maybe a bonus. I'll speak to Mr. Grey."
Chell nodded. It didn't sound too bad, and it could be a learning experience. "Count me in."
"Cool!" With his excited face and bright eyes, he seemed to resemble a young child on Christmas morning.
Chell bit back a smirk at the observation. "You can usually find me in the outer office in room 103, level four."
Adam jotted the information down on a tiny notepad he pulled from his breast pocket. "Thanks." Turning to Hannah, he asked, "What about you?"
"What about me?" the bespectacled woman said indignantly. "I'm not being a test subject, so get that out of your mind right now, young man!"
Chell sniggered, and Adam looked genuinely taken aback.
"Okay, okay," he muttered. "I just thought…you know….it was your suggestion."
Hannah waved a finger in his face. "Yes. I'm a suggester of things, not a tester of…other things."
Adam batted her hand away. "Okay, I get it."
He pulled a face at Chell and she laughed. The grin faded from her face as her father approached the table, saying her name quietly by way of greeting.
"What's up?" she asked casually, inwardly hoping he wouldn't ask to join them. She couldn't imagine anything more awkward.
"I won't take up too much of your time," he said, balancing a steaming bowl of soup on his tray. "I was wondering if you'd do me a favour."
Chell tried not to look too confused. "Um…okay. What?"
"I have a little robot sphere that I'm not sure what to do with," he explained, his expression neutral. "He's a prototype. I was hoping you might be able to find a use for him carrying messages or something."
Chell wasn't supposed to be able to recall asking for Wheatley, but her dad was honouring his promise regardless. She wasn't sure what to make of that.
"Oh…uh…sure, if you don't want it."
Her father smiled briefly, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Great. His name's Wheatley. I'll have ceiling rails put in and send him down to you later. Be warned though, he talks a lot."
She nodded. "Noted. Thanks, Dad."
He sent her another insincere smile, bobbing his head in acknowledgement, then moved away to sit with some of his co-workers.
Chell glanced over her shoulder again. Doug raised an eyebrow at her, clearly having seen the exchange. She gave a minute shake of her head. It didn't need discussing right away. He lowered his head in a kind of half-nod, then allowed himself to be drawn into a debate by Henry. Chell turned back to her half-eaten sandwich.
"Looks like you've adopted a robot, then," Hannah said, sounding impressed.
"Looks like it," Chell agreed. "I hope he's not more trouble than he's worth."
As it turned out, Wheatley was exactly the kind of thing the office needed to liven it up a bit. He turned out to be very good at keeping the stationary organised, he delivered messages of low importance to people up and down the management corridor, even to some departments on other floors, and he was quicker at finding Bob the maintenance man than anyone else. He also personally greeted everyone who entered Chell's office, which turned out to be a constant source of entertainment for her, as anyone who wished to reach Marlene or Lazarus's offices had to go through hers first.
It was certainly true that he talked a lot, so much so that Marlene had taken to keeping her office door closed, something that Chell had been wishing for ever since she'd started. Chell found that she was able to tune his chatter out when she needed to concentrate, however, so she didn't find it a problem. In fact, she quite enjoyed having a friendly voice to listen to, rather than Marlene's sharp telephone manner.
Doug appeared in her office doorway a week later. They hadn't had chance to talk since the cafeteria, as Doug had been holed up working on whatever it was he was working on, and then it had been the weekend. It was rare that he found time or a valid reason to visit her office.
"Hello!" Wheatley greeted him, sliding forward on the pretzel-like track of rail in the ceiling. "You're looking good today."
Chell ducked behind her computer monitor to hide her smile as Doug glanced up with a bemused expression.
"Uh…thanks, Wheatley."
"Don't mention it." The sphere turned away, moving back to where he was directing a small robotic claw to rearrange the notice board.
"He greets everyone like that," Chell explained between giggles.
"That's…good," he said without much conviction.
Chell saved the spreadsheet she was working on and leaned her elbows on the desk. "What brings you up here, anyway?"
He perched on the edge of the desk, folding his arms. There was dirt on his sleeves, and a mark that looked a lot like a burn.
"I was going to ask what your conversation with your dad was about, but Wheatley being here answers that," he told her.
"He offered him to me," she said with a shrug. "As a favour."
Doug absorbed the information with a thoughtful look, but said nothing.
"Guess he felt guilty," she added. "Which is…something, I guess."
He sent her a sympathetic half-smile that said she hadn't been successful at hiding her bitterness.
"I'm here for another reason too," Doug said quietly. "I've finished my project. At least, I think I have. So I might be eligible for promotion. I need to report directly to Lazarus."
Chell's eyes widened as she realised what he meant. "Well done," she told him sincerely. "That's, what, two years of work?"
"Almost. I've been struggling with the refinements for so long, but…this morning something occurred to me. I made one change and…" He gestured with a paint-spattered hand. "Suddenly it's working. I saw you talking with one of the guys from Test Subject Observation at lunch the other day. He's going to be really pleased if it gets approved."
She frowned up at him, leaning forward. "You mean you're the one building the device they've been waiting for?"
"He told you about that?"
"He dropped hints. Although he shouldn't even have done that. I said I'd volunteer as a test subject."
Doug glanced at her sharply. "You said what? Are you out of your mind?"
She raised her eyebrows, surprised by his reaction. "It's not a big deal."
He exhaled noisily, standing up to pace in front of her desk. "Chell, the tests are dangerous. Since they began in the 50s there have been…countless injuries and fatalities. You know as well as I do, Aperture does not care about the welfare of its test subjects."
"Yes, I realise that," she hissed, mindful of Wheatley at the other end of the office. "I thought it would be a good source of information. And…maybe the tests are hard, but I'm not stupid, I won't take any unnecessary risks."
"But you can't guarantee–" he began.
Marlene's office door opened and she strode in, heading straight for the bookcase in the corner. She didn't even cast Chell a single glance.
"How was your weekend?" Doug asked, his tone a little more level.
Chell sat back in her chair, adjusting to the change of topic. Their friendship had grown closer over the years, especially as the secrecy of their discoveries drew them together, but they very rarely saw each other outside of work. Every Monday involved a catch up about the weekend, despite the fact that Doug had almost always spent his in his lab, and Chell had almost always stayed at home in order to save money.
"Uh…date," she answered with a tiny, embarrassed shrug. It had been the first one in a long while. "I think I mentioned it last week."
There was a flicker of recognition in his eyes. "Ah," he said, a trace of wariness in his tone. "Yes, you did. How did it go?"
"Disaster, actually," she said with a quiet huff. "He seemed okay the first time we met. Turns out he's actually a douchebag. Stop laughing!"
Doug attempted to control his smirk, not succeeding particularly well. "I'm sorry, I really am. But you have such a way with words."
Chell felt her lips twitch and tried not to give in. Truthfully, she didn't mind his teasing. At least he seemed in a better mood.
"Well," she said with a shrug. "I guess I was holding him up to some pretty high standards." She shot him an impish smile.
He tilted his head in confusion, then narrowed his eyes at her thoughtfully, as if trying to decipher exactly what she meant.
Marlene looked up from the reference book she was studying, smiling sweetly. "Chell, what are you working on at the moment?" she said pointedly.
Chell retaliated with false pleasantness of her own. "I'm just waiting for Mr. Grey to get out of his conference call so that I can tell him Mr. Rattmann is here to see him. The line is still busy at the moment."
"You're here to see Mr. Grey?" Marlene asked Doug, her surprise evident.
"Yes, I am. That's all right, isn't it?"
Marlene studied him, frowning as she tried to figure out if he was being rude or not. Doug simply smiled at her until she nodded.
"Of course it is," she said at last. "He shouldn't be long."
Doug nodded. "Excellent."
When Marlene wasn't looking, Chell slowly shook her head at him, smirking. He shrugged innocently.
They stood and sat in relative silence until Marlene withdrew to her office, taking the reference book with her. Wheatley was quietly talking to himself, debating how best to organise the notice board.
"Can you come down to the lab when you're free?" Doug said softly, once the door clicked closed.
"Should be fine," Chell answered curiously. "Why?"
"If you're insisting on being a test subject, I'm going to make sure you're prepared."
She quirked an eyebrow in surprise. "And how do you plan on doing that?"
Doug smiled, just barely, although there was very little amusement in it. "I think it's time I introduced you to the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device."
