Right. This is the latest chapter – fantastically enough this has been RE-WRITTEN to Mark Owen songs (he is just so cute!). The saddest part of this entire thing is the fact that I'd actually written this chapter before but apparently I either didn't save the file *facepalm* or I deleted it *facepalm plus bullet to the head* Yeah, and I call myself intelligent... -_-
So, anyway, this is finally done and I'm working on the ninth chapter too so that I can have this wrapped up within the next few days – it's the least I can do after I left you all in limbo for well over three months... I'm not that consistent a writer really am I? Do. Not. Answer. That. :p
Now, read. Enjoy. Review. And listen to Mark Owen – he's a brilliant singer and song-writer, quite under-appreciated in my opinion. XD
Kasey
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EIGHT
Sometimes it's hard, it's so very hard, to control how you feel about something in front of someone – no-one can empirically say that they've never had a problem with their emotions; that is, unless they're a sociopath and can't understand the concept of emotions as being nothing more than annoying trivialities that people should seriously find a way around if they want to become truly enlightened. Kind of ironic though since most people are so very obsessed with how they feel, it's always "I feel like this" and "I feel like that" but no-one bothers with the "I think that this" and "I think that that". It's always feelings, and it's so very sickening, so very constricting to the brilliance of the thought process that few ever bother to employ, that when one person does employ it, they are ridiculed, hated, bullied, ostracised and targeted by the ones who do the same – but they don't have the constraints that one abides by still.
Katrine's life had been filled with these sorts of thing – she was odd, odd in society's opinion at least, and she didn't put much stock in society; the bias sod that it was – and as she had grown up she had quickly caught onto the fact that if she acted like an oddball then she'd be ostracised – so she did what anyone with enough intelligence and maturity would have done; she adapted to become what society necessitated her to be. She didn't say inappropriate things at the wrong time, she didn't outwardly deem the irrationality of emotions to be irrelevant and she most definitely didn't upstage those who have less about them than a plank of wood yet had positions of power over her. All-in-all she was a normal, everyday, average girl who had a bit of a gift for things that required forethought and planning – but even then she made sure she measured herself, paced herself so that she didn't draw too much attention. However, she was protective of people she became associated with – how else was she to form friendships that would give her both status and protection?
It may sound heartless but, in all honesty, whenever a person forms a bond, connection, association, friendship, all they're really doing is giving into the selfish urge not to be alone, to have protection, to have support. Nothing that a human ever does is truly, in all entirety, for others – there is always, always, an underlying reason that relates in some way, shape or form to the person themselves and their own nature; which is actually selfish because no-one is truly a giver. We only give when we know that we will receive something, it may be money, it may be gratitude, it may be friendship but we never do anything unless it is – in some way – advantageous to us. Humanity is selfish – it's as simple as that.
Or is it?
What if some people, on rare occasions, stand nothing to gain – not physically at least, which is what they put their stock in? Can a person who has nothing do something for another even when, for all intents and purposes, nothing good will come for them? Can a person sacrifice everything they know, everything they are, for a stranger? Can a person give their life to ensure that another lives – without believing that they will be rewarded in the next life?
Most likely the answer to this would be a resounding NO for the majority of the human species but, there are those few, those oddballs, those freaks and weirdo's that are so far removed from society and its constrained views that are willing to give everything they have and everything they are just so another person can take another breath and go about their daily, controlled, meticulous routine in their menial existence wherein they are a soldier to nothing and servant to capitalism.
Katrine Quilks is one such oddball.
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"So..." McGee drawled slowly looking around them. "What do we do?" He focused his question at Katrine, since she was the one with experience in this whole... situation.
Katrine shrugged. "Nothing really. We've just got to wait." She said simply as she moved over towards one of the chairs that was situated half-way between the two door. "I've never really been in here longer than a few... well, I guess it'd be a few hours out in reality." She frowned slightly at that. "At least I think it might be a few hours. I don't know exactly, but time isn't all that relative here – I feel so sorry for Einstein."
Reid and McGee smiled at Katrine's comment and Don frowned slightly, but he didn't say anything – sometimes though, sometimes it would be nice to know who this 'Einstein' guy actually is; Larry always gave him a headache when he talked about him like some love-sick teenager.
"Well then." Don said as he went and sat down on one of the chairs opposite Katrine. "What else can you tell us about this place? Anything at all." He doubted she could really tell them anything more than what she'd already told them but he could hope couldn't he.
Katrine sighed dramatically and fixed Don with quite an intense stare as she said sarcastically. "I can tell you that the interior decorator needs to be shot and someone with fashion sense and style should be brought here to fix the place up." She smiled sweetly at Don before becoming serious and Don was shocked at how different she looked when she went from childish and sarcastic to calm and mature. It was kind of disconcerting for the FBI agent.
"There is little more I can tell you about this place. For me, it's normally always empty – most likely because I was on my own with little or no death-traffic in the immediate area. The only reason I know that this place is 'Limbo' for this floor is because all the Limbo's seem to look like waiting rooms – most likely it's got something to do with the fact that people hate waiting around in these places so maybe the psychology behind this manifestation of Limbo is to try and get people to hurry up; whatever way they go." Katrine said softly as she stared at the ceiling, her eyebrows knitted together as she thought about it all. "You know, that would make quite an interesting research paper – Limbo: The Waiting Room of Psychological Thought... or something like that." She blinked and refocused her gaze on Don. "Honestly Don, there's nothing more I can tell you. The best I can do now is argue with you about the most philosophical thing imaginable."
"Okay." Don said slowly. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face as he tried to think. "Fine. Do that then." He declared suddenly and he noticed that Katrine stared at him with open surprise.
"I'm sorry if I sound a little bit dense by saying this but." Katrine started. "What?" She stared at Don, feeling surprised and confused as to what he was on about. Did he want her to discuss philosophical things or just shut-up? She wasn't sure but she actually wanted it to be the former of those two – she'd never found anyone to have a real philosophical debate with. There never is anyone willing to argue with her for extended periods of time.
Don smiled crookedly at her and said, slowly and with deliberation. "Argue with us about something philosophical. It'll help pass the time."
"Oh! I know what we could discuss!" Reid exclaimed suddenly as he slipped into a seat about three down from Katrine, closer to the door back to reality. "We could discuss the conceptions of society and the ideals of democracy."
"Or we could discuss the concept of a cyber-society. The Cyborg Manifesto." McGee said as he sat down next to Don, also closer to the door back to reality. "It's one of my favourite philosophical ideas." He grinned shyly, surprised with himself that he'd admitted that and he caught Katrine smiling humorously at him.
"First off. I think you're scaring Don you two." Katrine said, laughing slightly as they looked at Don who was staring at them all with surprise – he honestly hadn't expected the Doctor and NCIS agent to be philosophy-nerds. "Second of all. Whilst I love arguing and belittling society Reid, I highly doubt that discussion will end well. And third. McGee. The Cyborg Manifesto is one of the things that I spent a month arguing about with my philosophy teacher back in the UK – he didn't talk to me for a month after I showed him up in the class. And besides – if we advanced so far as to how technological-based bodies then we'd be less than a micro-step away from Terminator; with interest." She smiled at McGee who blushed slightly and looked away in embarrassment. "Also, there's the fact that none of what you've just suggested really has any bearing on what we're going through right here, right now. So, perhaps – with that in mind – maybe we should discuss something that has some bearing on our present situation?"
There was silence as Katrine waited for them to think of something to talk about, but it was broken by McGee when he said. "You've just destroyed my dreams in seconds when it's taken Tony years to even know I had any." McGee looked at Katrine and smirked at her humorously. "Tony's going to hate you for that one."
Katrine laughed softly and smiled at McGee as she said. "I don't think so. Tony will absolutely adore me when I teach him how to find out everyone's secrets in ten minutes." She laughed again at McGee's horrified face and couldn't help but adding. "Of course, I might just tell him yours – you know, to save him the bother of trying to drag yours out of you."
McGee glared at her in mock annoyance and Katrine laughed again, as did Reid and Don. "Bully." McGee huffed as he faked a look of hurt.
"Maybe we should talk about human nature?" Reid said softly in the lull that had developed after Katrine and McGee's silly little moment. "It has bearing on our present situation and also it's quite philosophical." He looked at Katrine, tucking a loose stand of hair behind his ear as he did so. "What about it?"
Don smiled slightly and nodded, as did McGee. "Alright." Katrine said as she positioned herself on her seat so that her legs were tucked under her and she placed her fingertips together, which made her look like she was trying to pray but without the palms of her hands touching. It was odd but at the same time it wasn't.
"Let's get going then." Katrine smiled slightly as she placed her prayer-positioned hands under her chin and looked directly at Reid. "What's your starting point?"
Reid blinked and floundered for a moment before saying. "According to some of the most poignant philosophers, such as Thomas Hobbes who wrote The Leviathan, human nature is essentially selfish, murderous and corrupt – he argues that for society to evolve we need a power which can control us; he uses the concept of a social contract which would invest power in a single person, who would have absolute control over people – much like a King or Dictator might – so that no-one could rebel, or try to challenge and dissolve the power of the state they'd live in."
Don stared at Reid and said, slowly. "I'm sorry but... what?" His eyebrows raised in confusion and surprise and he just stared at Reid, absolutely confounded by what Reid had just said.
"Basically, the philosopher Thomas Hobbes believed that because people are monsters, and would kill each other for a grain of rice, we need a ruler to control the mass – like a King – because without one then we'd be running on instinct; our survival would be paramount so development couldn't occur, we'd be like cave-men without the capacity for fire or society. Hobbes believed that only an absolute state, ran by a ruler who couldn't be challenged, could give people peace of mind and safety so that we could develop and advance." Katrine explained evenly as she stared at Reid. "However, Hobbes was quite the narrow-minded fellow. A scaremonger who seemed to enjoy terrorising the masses with the concept of hell on earth if we didn't follow a King who didn't know what dirt was."
Reid blinked and said carefully. "I guess you're not a fan of Hobbes then?" The glare he received answered his question and he smirked slightly as Katrine huffed and went off on a spectacular rant.
"Well, I doubt I'm going to be a fan of a man who believed in an absolute dictatorship, he probably would have loved Hitler the bigamist fool; he had no real understanding of the way society works – he just wanted to keep the monarchy in power in my country just so he could keep his comfy little life-style and have control over his slaves. He didn't want a change in the status quo and that's how advancement is stunted in the human species – if we didn't change then we'd still be stupid cave-men, and no I'm not including women in that because men are the fools on this planet – and in fact, if we didn't change and advance then women would still be in the kitchen doing the bidding of egotistical, megalomaniacs!" Katrine retorted throwing her arms up as she tried to empathise her point and she looked at three men who were staring at her in equal measures of shock. "I prefer Locke's theory – even if it's a bit too naive for me; he doesn't seem to consider the fact that people do selfish things all the time but he does mention the concept of cooperation to ensure survival." Katrine took a breath and Reid watched as her shoulders relaxed, which told him that she was calming down so he took that as the sign to continue talking.
"Locke is too naive and he assumes that there will be plenty of resources that everyone can share fairly and equally – but as you said, he doesn't take into account the fact that people like to have more than they do so they take more than is necessary." Reid pointed out as he tucked another strand of hair behind his ear again – he really did hate his hair sometimes.
"Yes but at least with Locke you can put more stock in humanity than what Hobbes does!" Katrine exclaimed as she waved a hand dramatically. "Hobbes seems to focus more on the positives of an absolute state rule than taking into account the negatives of such a state, he ignores the adverse affects that can be produced; affects to people's behaviour and thought process! Locke, though he's naive, can at least be reasoned with since he still understands the idea of the necessity of a state with some measure of power, however, he also states that the people have the right to rebel against a tyrant! Hobbes doesn't." Katrine finished as she leaned back and crossed her arms as she stared expectantly at Reid.
Just as Reid was about to answer the little light that was situated directly over one of the doors lit up and there was a sharp intake of breath as they stared at it in surprise. None of them spoke, indeed none of them dared to breathe as they stared at the light and Katrine watched closely – waiting for a number to show up. She wasn't disappointed.
"Two." McGee stated, reading the blinking word. "What does that mean?" He looked around at them but his eyes settled on Katrine who rose slowly from her seat and moved over towards the door, her footfalls silent and cautious.
"Come here." She said softly, her voice carrying an authority that none of them challenged as they all silently rose and moved over so that they were standing beside her. "It would seem that for two of us there is a bus ride home so I would highly suggest that two of you head through now, whilst you still have the chance."
"What?" Reid exclaimed.
"No! I won't go if you're still here!" McGee declared.
"I'm not going to leave you guys here." Don said firmly.
"Oh heavens... they're a chivalrous lot." Katrine sighed rolling her eyes. "Would two of you please decide to walk through that door already! I haven't got all day and I do have plans!"
Reid looked at her disbelievingly. "I'm not going to go through this door when you're younger and have more of life ahead of you – you could make a difference to the world, you could save dozens of lives that might not be saved if you don't go through now."
"Oh don't be so dramatic. There is a high probability that my continued existence will have no true impact upon the human race since it is blind luck or opportunity that allows for discoveries and advancements – if I die today, someone else may write a novel I had planned, or discover a cure for cancer that's lurking in my brain somewhere. It doesn't matter if I live or die – it just matters that the idea survives." Katrine argued as she stared directly at Reid who was frowning at her.
"Do you really think so little of yourself?" Reid asked softly, watching her sadly. "Do you really think that you're worthless, that you don't matter?"
"Irrelevant at this present moment in time Doctor Reid." Katrine snapped as she ran a hand through her loose hair in obvious frustration. "Right. Decide amongst yourselves which two are going through because I don't want to have to deal with it. And before your say anything – no, I'm not going through yet because I don't want to go through yet. This is the only time in my potential future existence where I won't see scars when I look at my arms."
The three men watched in silence as Katrine stalked off over towards her seat and sat back down, hunched over and staring at her hands which were clasped in front of her. She looked like she was worn out and tired, world-weary Don thought. They all looked at each other in obvious embarrassment and worry for the young girl – they hadn't meant to upset her or aggravate her but they had principles and one of them meant that they couldn't, wouldn't, leave when there was a young, innocent person around who they had spent days looking for. They weren't the kind of people to do that.
"Right." Don said quietly. "I'm the oldest here and technically I have the highest rank so I'm staying – part of the job. One of you and Katrine will be going through so I guess you'll have to come to some sort of conclusion because I don't want to order one of you to stay here just encase you don't get another chance." Don rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache beginning to form and sighed tiredly.
"I don't think that's a very logical, or fair, method to decide who stays or goes Don." Reid said as he turned to look at the door. "I mean, it's not as if none of us want to return but due to the number limitation it makes it harder for us to choose so we're going to have to find a way of agreeing on who goes and who stays. And you ordering us or asking us isn't really going to work. We're all too stubborn."
"Right." McGee agreed as he too turned to look at the door and he sighed. "I want to go but at the same time I don't want to. I don't want to go through and then find out that one of you, or all of you, didn't make it – I'd feel so selfish if that happened."
"Well live with it Tim!" Katrine said suddenly as she ran into McGee and Reid and, using sheer will, propelled them towards the door - only letting go of them when she knew that they wouldn't be able to stop their momentum.
"KATRINE!" Reid exclaimed just as he and McGee disappeared through the door.
Don stared at Katrine in shock and could only continue to stare as she turned to him and said calmly. "Well that's far better isn't it? Nice and quiet."
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To Be Continued
When I finish the next chapter – and it might even be the LAST chapter... oh dear...
Now peeps! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!
Champagne kisses just to taste the rain... *swoon* I really like that line... (just ignore that bit please – it's best for your sanity if you do so :p)
Kasey xx
