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Chapter 9
Being unable to read someone was the worst.
Oikawa felt like he's going to blow a fuse trying to figure out just how much she knows. Their team had 4v4 matches with each other today and he had Iwaizumi tell him to, quote, "get his head out of the clouds, dumbass" more than once. Clearing his mind when the stability of his team was on the line was difficult.
Why, out of all the people, did she have to be such a strong link in their team? If she leaves, and more importantly, if the team finds out the details of this… situation, they'll be shattered. They will feel cheated, they will lose trust in other teammates, there was just no way Oikawa could do that to them.
But would Ike-chan?
For a minute he thought that, maybe, if she hasn't said anything, she actually didn't see his exam results and doesn't know he understood her diary entry. But he soon realized that he's just trying to comfort himself with that thought – not like he properly confronted her about the diary either.
Not knowing what to believe was driving him crazy.
"Shittykawa, for the last god damn time!"
He snapped out of it at Iwaizumi's words. "Sorry, sorry!"
One of them knew more than the other, and Oikawa was really, really hoping it was him. He was willing to make sacrifices for his team and had no idea if she would do the same if he confronted her.
In a way, he was getting angry with himself that his negative emotions about Haruko were subsiding. He kept trying to repeat to himself that she was selfish, she was vain, she was judgmental, she was manipulative. But the fact that no actual harm had been done (yet?) was getting on his nerves.
It was strange, to want harm to have been done. Was he being selfish for wanting that, just to validate his anger with her?
Worst of all, at the end of the day, she did more good than harm. In a perfect world that sentence would start with a "best of all", but not in their case. The amount of determination Haruko had to help the team was impressive, and her hard work has been making it difficult to be angry with her.
Oikawa was bitter anyway, though.
For a moment, her dedication and diligence reminded Oikawa of himself.
Ugh. No. We're nothing alike.
He was once again woken up from his internal monologue, but this time by a whistle. He looked at Iwaizumi who was making a time out sign with his hands, glaring at him.
Great.
Haruko had to keep her lips from curling up as she felt the pissed off aura radiate from Oikawa a few meters away from her.
He got benched for the rest of the day.
She knew just how badly he hated being on the bench while the rest of his team was making good progress – you didn't have to be his friend or even acquaintance to know that. She was sure Oikawa would end up practicing on his own once everyone went home.
Haruko knew exactly why he was completely out of it and it was oh so satisfying.
Serves you right, you asshole.
In truth, she didn't really know how to approach their current situation. Once the initial frustration with him passed, she began to think just how badly blown up this whole thing is. It was just a misunderstanding, and honestly, if he would have confronted her at the very beginning, she was sure she could have explained everything, and none of this awkwardness would have happened. Or less of it, at least. He would have probably just ended up teasing her for thinking he's attractive, that's it.
But no, the little shit had to take advantage of it instead. At least that's what she thought he was doing, anyway.
Of course, that got on her nerves. She felt used, probably just as much as he did at first though, which, she reasoned, was fair?
I guess? Ugh.
But Haruko was petty and wanted to drag Oikawa through a revenge quest before finally sorting things out with him.
After all, their team depended on the both of them, the captain and the manager, last thing they need right now is to see them at each other's throats. Haruko cared deeply for her team and wondered if Oikawa is refusing to confront her because he does, too. That was a viable theory, but she had no way of finding that out unless she confronted him, and that was out of the question for a while. He didn't deserve to get off the hook that easily.
For a moment, his hard work, compassion and attentiveness towards the team reminded Haruko of herself.
But he was still an asshole with a shitty personality, so screw him. Right?
From an outsider perspective, though, they were just two idiots with the same ideals and goals who didn't manage to interact with each other like normal human beings.
While Haruko was scribbling things down on her tablet during practice, she caught Oikawa glancing at her in her peripheral vision. Several times. He was sitting on the bench just a few meters away, arms crossed, pretending he's totally focused on the match his teammates were playing. Usually he was pretty good at pretending – Haruko experienced this first hand – but today he was a complete mess.
Haruko knew exactly why he was like this, of course, but she decided to indulge in an entertaining chat with him. Besides, a part of her wanted to give him a chance to confess his wrongdoings.
She let out a loud sigh and turned to Oikawa. "Take a picture, it'll last longer."
That, of course, caught him off guard. She saw him sink in his seat more, leaning back at the gym wall. He didn't say anything. So she decided to poke him a little more.
"Seriously, what's up?"
Haruko being so casual was getting to him even more. Was she actually being casual? Was it an act? Was it-
"Oikawa?"
He really, really needed to get his shit together and stop spacing out. "I… Sorry. I was just wondering how you're, um, doing?"
No, that's not what you're wondering at all.
"I'm fine. Why?"
"Dunno. You seem stressed." he answered quietly, avoiding looking at her.
"I seem stressed?" she raised an eyebrow at him before returning to her notes. "I'm not the one who got benched because I couldn't focus. Clearly something is bothering you."
Haruko could swear she heard the man grit his teeth. This was too good to pass up. So she pushed on.
"You wanna talk about it?"
"There's nothing to talk about, I'm fine."
Oikawa's tone was reaching angry regions, so she decided to turn this around on him.
"You know, just because something is bothering you, doesn't mean you have to lash out at me. I didn't do anything."
For a split second, he could have sworn he saw her hold a smirk in. Just what is she getting at?
"Maybe you did." he spat, sinking into his seat even more than before. Haruko was happy that the coach, as well as the rest of the team, was too far to hear any of this. This wasn't friendly banter anymore.
"If you're so unhappy with what I'm doing, maybe you should do things yourself for a change."
He finally turned to Haruko throwing her a very, very unsatisfied glare, only to be met by her own stern face. She wasn't backing down and continued.
"Not to be a selfish bitch, but I've been working my ass off lately, and all you've been doing is giving me more work without even mentioning a single thank you. Don't you give me this shit now. I may be patient, but I have limits too. You've been annoying as hell lately, and bitter too, like, I get it, you're stressed – we all are. But lash out at me again and I swear to god, Oikawa, I'll-… Ugh…"
She trailed off while shaking her head and went back to her notes, not expecting him to follow up on the threat. But he did.
"Or you'll what? Quit?"
"What?!" she snapped back at him in disbelief, "Okay, just cause I'm upset with you doesn't mean I'd quit on everyone else – just how self-centered are you?"
Oikawa's words got stuck in his own throat.
There was no way she was actually doing it for the team, right? It was for him, right? He totally didn't put her through hell for nothing, right?
"S-sorry." he muttered, making both himself and Haruko surprised.
Did… did he just apologize?
Did I just apologize?!
"Ah…" Haruko scratched the back of her head. "It's… it's fine, you're stressed. It's fine."
She went back to her notes once more, hoping this awkward conversation won't continue. There she was trying to get the better of him and he spits an apology out, albeit a half-assed apology, but still.
Practice ended. Then the day. And then, finally, the week.
Haruko was at work on her usual Sunday shift – not a lot of people drank on Sundays, usually it was either the jobless or the students.
Being pre-occupied with work meant she could take her mind off the whole Oikawa-situation. He was on her mind way too often these days.
"Ikeda-chan, can you grab these from the back?"
Haruko's manager, Kamiya Yumi, or Kami-chan to her, handed her some receipt paper with a stock list scribbled on it. She nodded and swiftly made her way to the back room, hoping to get everything before the next wave of customers.
Kami-chan was a goddess of a manager. Haruko had part-time jobs before, but none of them came close to the bar she worked in now. Her manager was understanding and fair, but at the same time, she gave off a very intimidating vibe. She was an ideal leader, both being there for her employees, but never letting them take advantage of her good nature. She was a few years older than Haruko, giving the girl hope that she, too, will be this cool someday.
Haruko had barely worked there for six months and they became total best friends. Well, at work anyway. Hanging out with your manager after work hours would be weird.
Soon she came back with the drinks and other supplies, refilled the fridges and went back to serving customers.
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The same small bar, the same sticky bar counter Haruko tried her best to keep clean, the same leather sofa, armchairs and a little coffee-like table in the corner – her favorite place to be when she wasn't working. It was so odd for a bar to have such a cozy corner, but no matter how many spilled drinks that sofa had absorbed by now, it was still her favorite spot in the whole bar. She would hang out there with her coworkers after hours sometimes.
The same old tiny stage, too. The same old posters of crappy, edgy bands who had upcoming gigs at their bar.
The same old faces she would serve drinks to nearly every Sunday.
All the same old faces.
Except one.
A sharp ring of shattering glass filled her manager's ears, as well as one of her coworker's who was just coming back from her break. The customers themselves were too drunk or too busy to notice.
They both looked up at Haruko, who had just dropped a glass she was wiping on the floor. She stood there, eyes wide, staring at someone in the crowd.
"Ikeda-chan?" she came over to her friend, trying to snap her out of it, "Are you okay? Hey?"
Haruko, even though not fully back to her senses, did her best to try and process who she just saw, and what happened. She looked at the glass below her and then at her manager, but words were getting stuck in her throat.
"I… I'm so-rry I-…"
Kamiya shot up straight when she heard her voice break. Haruko was shaking. Kamiya grabbed her by the arm and started pulling her to the break room, asking their other, very confused coworker to cover for them.
The moment she shut the break room door behind them, Haruko sat down in one of the chairs there and sunk her head into her hands.
It was a terrible attempt of hiding tears.
"Ikeda-chan, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. I don't want to pry, but you're really worrying me, sweetie."
But no matter how much Kamiya tried, she couldn't get anything out of her distressed employee.
Another 10 minutes or so passed, and finally, with a shaky voice, Haruko spoke up.
"Kami-chan, I'm really sorry, please don't fire me, but can I go home early tonight?"
"Sweetie, no one's going to fire you!" her manager exclaimed, putting her hands on the girl's shoulders, "You're obviously going through some shit, if you need to go, you go."
Haruko wanted to break back into tears simply because of how thankful she was for her manager, but she held it in and nodded, getting up to collect her stuff.
"You okay to let yourself out? I'll be heading back to the bar. Call me if you need to talk, okay?"
Haruko nodded again and muttered a small 'thank you' as her manager walked out.
She stared at her apartment's ceiling, laying on the floor-mattress she called her bed. Half of her wanted to stop existing, half of her was a clustertruck of emotions. Mix those two together and you get a beautiful bundle of nothing. The beautiful feeling of "I am so done with everything".
She laid there with her phone next to her ear, listening to the dial beeps until a familiar voice picked up.
"Hoooooly shit I cannot believe you still have my number!"
Haruko rolled her eyes at nothing. Of course he was ecstatic. It was 9pm on a Sunday, she was surprised she couldn't hear any crappy club music in the background.
"Where are you?" Haruko asked.
The line was silent for a while.
"Ah, fuck." the man on the other end had a complete change of heart from his previous cheerful attitude, "I know that tone, Haru-chan. Please don't tell me she's back?"
Haruko didn't say anything. Or, rather, she couldn't. That was enough of an answer.
"God damnit… Miyagi is way too small."
She chuckled at his words – that's exactly what she thought when she ran into him. Hearing nothing but silence, he spoke up again.
"Can you be ready in ten minutes? I'll pick you up."
"Yeah. Thanks Teru."
"Anytime."
She gave Terushima her address, not even trying to process on how he plans to get here in ten minutes, and went to get ready, trying to preoccupy herself with fixing her makeup.
The ten minutes were up in a flash, even though they seemed like an eternity, and Haruko noticed her phone's screen flash with Terushima's caller ID on it. She dropped the call and went out, locking her apartment and taking the elevator down.
When she came out of the apartment building, she saw Terushima on the other side of the road, leaning on a motorcycle.
Of course he bought a motorcycle. Classic Yuuji.
Haruko could have sworn he had more piercings every time they met.
Terushima looked up at her as he noticed her walking up to him. Any other day he would compliment her appearance – leather jacket, dark red lipstick. She was a bomb.
But the last thing she needed today was him hitting on her. And he knew that well.
"So…" he began, "On a scale from 1 to 10, how reckless are you feeling tonight?"
She stopped in front of Terushima and looked up at him.
"Eleven."
AN: Sorry this was so OC-heavy or confusing, it will clear up soon! This isn't enough Oikawa for my taste and I'm the one writing it lmao. I promise this is an important bit leading up to a really emotional (?) chapter, one I really, really am looking forward to writing. Thank you for reading and for all the love you leave me in the reviews and comments!
We are super close to the breaking point of the story and it's gonna be full-on-Oikawa, sorry about the slow build-up!
Also the new cover image took me like 10 hours to draw and I'm so mad it's so small :') there's a bigger version at no-sorry on tumblr if ya'll interested.
