Hello Folks!

I'm DEPRESSSSSSEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!

Don't you want to know why?

You do?!!?!

Normal people: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Authoress: I KNEW you cared!

LUNA (breathe) LOVEGOOD (breathe) ATE(breathe) MY (breathe) PLIMPLY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT WAS SO YOUNG! SO FULL OF LIFE!

It's a NATIONAL TRADGEDY –

Everyone: Sckadoodleit!

Authoress: You know what-

Alanna's Therapist: Now honey, breathe in and out, and remember, ka-boom is a PRIVALAGE, not a right and-

*Ka Boom*

Authoress: Heeheehee.

I vill now start the fic!

And cut out the confusing format!

AND ABUSE THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON SOME MORE.

AND-

Everyone: JUST START THE FIC, ALREADY!!

FINE! Merlin's 'shroom!

The Ghost of Alanna's Therapist: DO NOoOooOT UuuUuUUUuUUse the Ka-BooOOooOm…

Authoress: I hear voices! Yay! Now I'm TWO types of crazy! Also, wonderful thing happen to those who eat Marshmallow brains under the boning moon on the third of April, Or was it July, I can NEVER remember, and also sing about ME! The Great one of authoressness, and if you're a fic character you won't be a Mary Sue, and you won't be the chosen one, and the cannibal mushrooms can has eated you without mushrooms and gravy and kethechep and mikki-suause( made from intestines of a blue flower with red thorns , founded by the a color-blind rhino.

Garmmereees:* die with shock*

Cel: Oh my sckadoodles!

Authoress: Goodto see you're FINALLY catching on! Also, WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?????????????????????????

Cel: You killed the grammar-monk!

Pages: Hail Authoress, the grammar-monk is dead!

Auhoress: I didn't MEAN to kill him-

Aly: SHE LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Authoress: I talk don't I?

Aly: (dotdotdot)

Authoress: Oh. Cel's. Greenness.

Cel: Hey!

Evil!Athoress: Look! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: What?

Authoress: Nothing.

Everyone: Grrr.

Authoress: You know what? Be quiet. I'm only trying to be amusing.

Aly: SHE LIES!!!!!!

Cel: This is old, dead, rotting, being eaten by people who don't mind rotting food(dotdotdot)

Owen: BANDITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cel: But they're people too!

Joren: (singing) I'm blonde, so blond , I'm a happy pretty person who is so so BLOND!

Authoress: The temptation. It is too great.

Army Of Randomees: WE WHEEL ATTACK! *dye joren's hair Peasant.

Authoress: Wow, that actually makes him look less girlish.

Jorenella: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Authoresss: Eer PLURGS, get'cher EEER PLURGS (dotdotdot) OR SUFFER MY(dotdotdot) displeasure.

Everyone(except Authoress): *Get ear plugs. Fast*

Authores: Heh heh heh(dotdotdot)

Joren: What are you heh heh'ing about? Also(dotdotdot) MY HAIR!!! MY BUEATIFUL, SUN-GOLD-NOBLEY-KINGLY-WONDERFUL HAIR!!!!THE LIGHT AND PRIDE OF MY HOUSE!!! IT's(dotdotdot) Its (dotdotdot) PEASANT!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Authoress: Awwwwwww (dotdotdot) would you like some chocolate?

Jorenella: *sniffs* Yes please. *Eats chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. Very alarming amounts of the stuff. Enough chocolate to fill a pie graph. Eats more chocolate*

*Ten years later*

Jorenella: *Is still eating chocolate*

Garvey: *whispers* I didn't want to say anything (dotdotdot) Buuuut (dototdot) have you noticed Joren's gotten a bit-

Jorenella: I'm FAT!! *cries*

Coram: Shattup, pretty boy. Wait (dotdotdot) I'm DEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!!!

George: HOW THE SCADOODLES DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?

Authoress: GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

George: What?

Authoress: You're here! Because you're my 'avorite!

Nealie The Scorned: (dotdotdot) I thought I was your favorite!!!!

Authoress: Sod off Nealie, I like this guy better.

Nealie: I FEEL SO UNLOVED!!!!

Jon: I'm pretty, so pretty, look at my pretty hair!

Diane: FREE THE WOLVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *frees wolves*

Wolves: *eat Peachblossom. Then mess up Johnny's hair*

Cel and Jonnie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *have funeral*

Dom: Everybody, your pretty.

Cel: SEE CLEON!!!! DOMMIE-RELLA FLIRTS WITH EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!

Cleon: What, ever?

.

.

.

Authoress: (dotdotdot) I LIKE PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gary the Bookworm: EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (dotdotdot) PIE IS MESSY!!!!! IT GETS ON MY PAPERS!!!

Nealie: Didn't you use to be logical? What happened?

Gary the Bookworm: I dunno (dotdotdot) It might have something to do with the fact that (dotdodot) THE AUTHORESS STOLE MY MEDICATION!!!

Authoress: Heh. Heh heh.

Alanna: Let's make friends with people who won't try to chop off our heads and sell them on eBay. *glares at Neal*

Neal: *shifty eyes*

Person Who Won't chop Off The Character's Heads And Sell Them On Ebay, And Is A Vehemic Hater Of Twilight, And Likes Pie With Yellow And Onions: Hi.

Alanna: Oh, Cel's Greenness! Hi!!!!

PWWCOTCHASTOEAIAVHOTALPWYAO: Twilight sucks. Admit it. You know it does.

This Scene has been ommmited due to Disturbing Fangirl Violence.

Authoress: We LoOoOoOOoOoOooOOooOve Twiiiiilght

Alanna: You'll never take me alive!!!!!!

Fangirls: Erm,yes, we will.

Authoress: THIS IS SO PORRIGE!!!* Pulls house made of porridge out of pocket*

Physics Monk: *dies of shock*

Pages: HAIL Authoress, the Physics Monk is dead.

Autthoress: I didn't MEAN to kill him-

Aly: SHE LIES!!!!!

Authoress: I dislike monkeys!

Aly: SHE LIES!!!!!

Authoress: I'm wearing a tie made of the skin of potatoes!

Aly: SHE LIES!!!!!

Authoress: The moon will blow up! I will help it!

Aly: SHE LI- Oops. Erm. (dotdotdot) I LIKE PIE!!!!!!

George: SHE LIES!!!!!

Everone: *Gasps. So much that there is no oxygen in the room. Keep gasping. Hyperventiate. Pass out. Wake up* YOU DON'T LIKE PIE?!?

George: Heh. Heh heh.

Reveiew!

Phasherioshly!

If you tell me what that means(dotdotdot) I'll (dotdotdot) BAKE YOU A COOKIE!!!!!

Aly: SHE LIES!!!!!

Shattup, Aly-the-pretty.

Aly: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

The window man want to tell me that it is NEVER MY FAULT if the window breaks.

Sooooo(dotdotdot) IF I BLOW UP THE WORLD AND MY WINDOW BREAKS, I'M COVERED?!?

Heh heh heh….

BYE!!!!