A/N Wow, this story is doing so well! I'm up to 50 reviews! This makes me so happy. I'm already planning a companion story which will be roughly based on this one. My good friend Dell is helping me come up with the new story. Of course it will be slightly based on some role-playing experiences. Anyway keep the responses coming, and enjoy this chapter!
Warning I don't own Severus but I do bend him to my will.
Batch 9
Dear Professor Snape,
Who or what has hurt you so much that you feel you need to hurt others to heal yourself?
Astrix
P.s. Were you ever in a rock band, or did you often go to a club to watch local bands?
Dear Astrix,
Do you honestly need to ask that question? I mean didn't you know how Black and Potter treated me? Not to mention if I weren't the way I am would you even recognize me?
As to your other question, I was in a band back in my Hogwarts days. I played bass while Lucius Malfoy played the lead guitar and did the lead vocals. Nicodemus Nott was the drummer and we were great. We called ourselves Morsmordre. We even had nicknames. I was Obsidian then Lucius was Luscious Lucius and Nicodemus was Nico. We were a mix between glam metal and punk rock.
Sincerely,
Professor Severus Snape
Professor Snape
There is nothing wrong with your nose… To say that there was, is to say that there is a right way to look and a wring way to look, and those who look "Wrong" should remedy that so they can look right. And sadly, most people deny their natural sixth sense these days. I don't mean, fortune telling, but that thing you feel that has nothing to do with other senses…
Sincerely,
Dell
P.S. Everyone is Ticklish.
Dear Dell,
Yes, I've come to terms with my nose long ago. Society does have a problem labeling people and being rather shallow…coughs; Black and Potter: coughs
As for the whole sixth sense thing well that is true. I mean honestly I'm a wizard we do have extra abilities. But that other divination mumbo jumbo is ridiculous.
Sincerely,
Professor Severus Snape
Dear Professor Snape,
This letter had a hex on it. As soon as you laid eyes on it, a tickling charm was placed on you. It will tickle you once every 10 min for the next two days. There is no reversal spell. Don't bother send a hex with your next reply… It will not work, I assure you…
Love- Helen
Dear Evil Incarnate,
I did not appreciate the hex at all. My niece took the liberty to take pictures of my giggling…she also made videos. I truly loathe you. I hope you drop dead. But I do have to compliment you on being able to accomplish such a difficult hex.
Sincerest Loathing,
Professor Severus Snape
P.S. Since you said the hex wouldn't hurt…I thought I'd send some undiluted bubtober pus.
Dear Severus,
You indeed know my husband Lucius. But he is no fun anymore.
Wife of a Death Eater,
Narcissa Malfoy
Dear Narcissa,
As you know, I'm quite good friends with Lucius. I cannot go out with you. Honestly why don't you try Nicodemus?
Sincerely,
Professor Severus Snape
Dear Professor Snape,
Yes, I had quite the interesting discussion with Draco Malfoy today. I find it strange that someone so able and cunning as he would date...Hermione Granger.
But, each to his own, I suppose. He seems like a very capable boy, and he'll make a fine addition to the Death Eaters.
And yes...I do know that my mother dated Rabastan Lestrange. I would know, because I am his daughter. I harbor no love for him, at all. My mother diverged from him after a while, and now it is just the two of us that live together. I hope you take no offense to this, but I rather despise the fact that Rabastan is my father--and even more that Rodolphus and Bellatrix are related to me as well. They have never looked upon me in kindness, no matter of where my loyalties lie. They have assured me before that I will never be a Death Eater.
I see that another fan mail writer has turned your hair pink. Poor dear. Some
'Miss. Kayla's Magical Hair Dye--Works against any hex!" will help you get it black again, I assure you.
I hope to hear from you soon!
Jinx, from the House of Slytherin.
Dear Jinx,
Draco will never be a death eater. Ever since Voldemort saw the internet cartoon Potter Puppet Pals, thanks to Dell, he died of shame. Yes…after all of our efforts he died of shame. And now all of the most fearsome death eaters are in Azkaban now. Luckily it was proven that Lucius, Nicodemus, and I were proven innocent of death eater charges. Dumbledore vouched that we were spies for light side…which was true.
As for your father, well he was a pompous git. I disliked all Lestranges. No offence to you. I know you are still a Lestrange despite your loathing for them. But you can overcome such things. You have a lot of potential, use it in a better way than following a crackpot Dark Lord.
As for my hair…it is back to normal. Thanks for the information on Miss Kayla's Magical Hair Dye.
I hope you are doing better in Slytherin than you did in Ravenclaw. You are too Slytherin for Ravenclaw anyway.
Sincerely,
Your Head of House, Severus Snape
Dear Severus,
I was not suggesting you were a Death Eater! Good Heavens! I certainly know you are a spy. Albus is in so much trouble. Why don't you try 'therapy' with Sylvia...Also, you could you please provide me with some mild poison that could be used to spike anti old age potions?
Poppy
Dear Poppy,
I know you never suspected me. But Albus is in a bit of hot water. Well, just recently Sylvia dumped me for Lockhart. However Rosmerta is rather interested in me. As for the potion consider it done. Just pick it up in the dungeons tomorrow.
Sincerely,
Severus
P.s. Need I even ask who the poison is for?
Dear Severus,
When was the last time you cried, and why? And not out of pain, out of emotion.
-QoS
Dear QoS,
Why must you ask such trivial questions? I should not even dignify this with an answer! Honestly this is a bit personal! But it was back in like 1982 when my band Morsmordre broke up. It was truly sad.
Sincerely,
Professor Severus Snape
Snivellus,
Your hexes are still as lame as they were in second year! You might have noticed that the hex backfired onto you! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! We might be dead but we're still going to haunt you for eternity! Sirius just wants to add that your hair will never look as fetching as HIS hair, pink or not. We both agree that you are a greasy headed, smelly armpit, bogey brained git. And how did YOU get to be a professor, anyway? Or are you teaching slytherins, how to make their hair greasy as yours? Maybe it's called Greasy Hair class.Sirius shudders in horror, while shielding his hair, protectively Anyway, if you give Harry any more trouble, you will pay.
James Potter and Sirius Black
P.s. Enjoy the slimy nose hex we sent you
Potter and Black,
Thankfully I realized the hex was going to backfire and I was able to dodge it. And why can't you haunt someone else, say Albus? And my hair is quite lovely. A friend of my niece is re-doing my hair.
And I'm a professor because I'm talented at brewing potions. And my teaching has nothing to do with greasy hair you childish imbeciles. I wonder how Lily ever put up with the two of you.
Anyway I'll trouble Potter as much as I wish. I'd like to know how you dead gits will stop me. Especially since I know how to counter your insipid hexes.
Sincerest Wishes of Your Expellment,
S.S.
P.s. The greasy nose hex was so predictable. You all are starting to loose your edge!
Darling Sevie-poo,
I cried as I read your harsh reply. But then I realized, you DO love me and you're playing hard to get because you're scared I will reject you. But don't worry, my love, I will never reject you. I will love you forever. This morning, I saw a very sexy thong in a shop and thought you would look gorgeous in it, (though, of course, you're always gorgeous!) so I bought it and sent it. It cost 20 Galleons but don't worry, darling, you deserve the best. Anyway, I just want to say, the hex you sent was brilliant! That's one of the things I love about you. I will always find your loving hexes welcoming but your kisses, more... How about a date tomorrow? I will wait longingly for your reply.
Remember, that I will never reject you, Sevie-Poo...
Your sweetheart,
Cornelius Fudge (Minister for Magic)
Dear Stalker Zombie,
I'm sure that Fan Girl killed you. So I can only say you are a zombie and you really must get over your infatuation with me. I truly hate you. You are disgusting pathetic excuse for a man. I would never wear such a girlie thong like that. Everyone knows I'd rather a green and black one! So I reject your gift as well. I'll be sending the ministry word on the fact you are now a zombie, and they will kill you soon. Never write to me again you maggot infested inferious wannabe!
Leave Me Alone,
S.S.
Dear Severus,
Would you accept an invitation to join me in my quarters during dinner time tonight? I would to discuss some matters of the utmost importance concerning the
Slytherin House and thought dinner time would be the most convenient time for an uninterrupted meeting. House Elves are to deliver food while we go over the above mentioned matters.
Yours,
Sylvia
PS: Elf-made wine should be perfect.
Dearest Sylvia,
I guess you are re-thinking your disposal of our relationship eh? Well I will meet you tonight. I will bring the wine you speak of. Now if you dump me for Lockhart again I shall carve your heart out with a spoon. Now, I shall see you later.
Sincerely,
Severus
A/N Wow, I'm sorry it took me so long. But I just couldn't tap into character. But my friend Dell helped me out. Hopefully the next chapter will come out sooner. I just love all the response! Keep up the fantastic letters!
Sincerely,
Flair Verona the Slytherin Queen
