A/N: Hello and welcome to another chapter.
A huge thank you to: angelofire, dionne dance, MissMisc3, Sea Rover, LabyFan23, Newland Archer, XantheXV, Makrciana, skycord1990, AngeliqueBouchard1972, TinkerbellxO, ForeverACharmedOne, runs with myths, PGAEmma, Jandra1969 and lottielovebuzz.
You are all wonderful for your support!
Disclaimer: I do not own Dark Shadows.
Chapter 9
From the deepest desires often comes the deadliest hate.
~Victor Hugo
I reach out and take a sip from my warm tea, watching out of the corner of my eye as Lady Collins is elegantly eating her eggs, her face expressionless. I lower the teacup and turn my eyes on Master Joshua. He is reading from a book and he is idly twirling his cup, his features relaxed and kind.
I run my tongue over my teeth as the sweet taste of tea lingers and when I look to my left I see my husband looking at me. He is leaning back in his chair and his plate is empty. As my eyes catch his own he smiles and sends me a tiny wink, causing me to shake my head in amusement. I can feel myself flush and I am surprised when he chuckles out loud.
His parents look up at us and Master Joshua smiles.
"Barnabas." His mother speaks up and when I look at her I can see that she's shaking her head, "Whatever did you do to our dear Elita. Heavens, she's blushing." Naomi looks aghast and her son only grins.
"Yes, she does that a lot." He murmurs as he takes a sip from his cup and looks at me.
I narrow my eyes at him, but the only response I get is another chuckle. Well, at least I am amusing. That's a good thing. Last thing I desire is to have him hate me or ignore me…Well, the latest would be worse for some reason unknown to me.
"You're being inappropriate for the breakfast table." Naomi chides and I look at her with a tiny frown.
Why is she saying that? He's only trying to make me feel comfortable; something that she hasn't managed to accomplish so far. She's far too serious and uptight in my presence…I think she's trying to give the good example. She is trying to show how a wife must behave.
I inwardly snort. I have always detested pretentiousness. I believe that people should be themselves with minimal restrictions.
"So far, mother, you're the only one who cares." Barnabas' reply is not clipped, but it is a little bit breezy.
Naomi curls her lip and shakes her head at her son, "Well then…" She looks up at me and offers a small smile, "Have you decided if you're going to travel or not? The summer is almost over and I am sure you'd like to-…"
"Excuse me, ma'am." Angelique's voice cuts her off rudely and Lady Collins looks at the maid with a cocked eyebrow.
"Haven't I told you that it is rude to cut off other people's speech? Where are your manners, child?" She chides and I look at the maid, studying her and I can see defiance in her vivid blue gaze.
The more I look at her the more I realize that she is barely managing to keep a neutral face with her hands tightly clenched upon her immaculate apron.
"I'm sorry, ma'am. But there is someone here for Master Joshua." Angelique replies tightly, almost forcing the words out and Lady Collins opens her mouth to speak, but her husband beats her to it.
"For me? Who is it?" He asks as he lowers his book and removes his glasses.
"A delivery for you, sir." The maid murmurs and he offers a smile before he stands up.
"Excuse me, but the new desk for my study must be here." He says and then his eyes fall on me, "Will you join me, dear? I do believe I need your opinion when it comes to rearranging furniture. Naomi gets awfully bored when it comes to my personal quarters."
The words are spoken without malice and he obviously wants to save me from his wife's comments. I accept immediately and stand up, thankful for the distraction.
"It would be my pleasure." I smile and with a nod at my mother-in-law and a smile towards Barnabas, I follow him out of the room with a sigh of relief.
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
As I make my way to the parlor an hour later, I pause for I can hear loud, sharp voices coming from the other side of the door. I tense up and freeze in my step.
"Mother, stop this. You're being ridiculous." Barnabas' voice is resolute and brisk and the animosity in it shakes me to my very core. He hardly ever gets upset and when he does he doesn't really show it…At least to me.
"Ridiculous! I agreed to this marriage so you can be happy. What is a marriage without children? How are you going to have offspring if you do not lie with your wife-…"
My eyes widen and I tense up at her words. How on earth does she know what…?
"Mother!" Barnabas' angry voice causes me to gasp, "Not that it is any of your business, but how on earth do you know what is going on in my chamber?"
I nod because he is obviously reading my thoughts.
His mother pauses before she replies, "I have to know what is going on in my own house."
The silence that follows proves Barnabas' quiet fury, "You've been spying on me? On us?"
"Of course not! It's not my fault that the staff talks-…"
"Did you put anyone up to this?" I can hear Barnabas' boots thudding on the marble floor as he walks, but whether he is distancing himself from his mother or not is unknown to me.
"Don't be absurd-…"
"Helen would never speak of such things. So, I can only assume that you were informed by someone else." Barnabas hisses, "I pleaded you to remove her from my wife's service. Is that why you didn't oblige? Because she talks?" His tone is sharp, cutting and incredulous and I swallow hard. They are obviously speaking about Angelique. She has been coming in and out of our quarters since the first day I stepped foot in Collinwood.
"Angelique? If it were on me, I'd have her out of this house in a heartbeat. Your father is kind enough to let her stay even after your indiscretions!" Naomi's voice is loud and I can't even blink from the shock.
"That has nothing to do with the fact that you've been spying on me and my wife." Barnabas' voice is low, forbidding and I know he is trying to wield power over his mother, but it is useless.
"Yes, the wife I allowed you to choose-…"
"Allowed me? It is my life. Stop interfering in it! I won't have you embarrass my wife in such a manner." I inhale sharply when I hear the power in his words, but I know that there are certain things that are expected from us; from me. I need to start getting used to the idea of a married life.
"Your marriage is void until you consummate it!" Naomi finally snaps and everything goes quiet.
I place a hand over my mouth at the blatant exclamation of Barnabas' mother and I stare at the door with wide eyed intensity. It's a wonder the wood hasn't burst in flames from my staring.
"Oh, don't you worry. I shall make sure to present you with the bloodied and soiled sheets as soon as I can. That would ease your mind and it would probably convince you to finally leave me alone!" Barnabas speech is quiet and extremely clinical and my throat goes dry at the implication of his words.
I hear footsteps then and I step back, but there is not time. All I can do is look up when the door opens and Barnabas steps out, looking ruffled and upset beyond imagination.
He freezes when he sees me and his breath is a sharp inhalation as we lock eyes.
"Elita." he breathes out and I shake my head at him, "You heard?"
I offer a tiny smile and nod my head and his nostrils flare as he curls his fingers around the doorknob and slams the door shut with such force that the hinges are shaken. I jump a little at Lady Collins' gasp, but I have no time to think about it because his hand is on my wrist a moment later, tugging me behind him, pulling me away from the parlor and his mother.
"I wish you hadn't heard." He mutters as he pulls me towards the dining room.
He doesn't let me go once we're there and I reach out, placing my hand on his arm in an effort to make him look at me. He pauses and turns his face towards me.
"You shouldn't worry…It was my mistake. I should have left." I mutter and he clicks his tongue.
"I am sorry. She has this…notion that everyone must abide by her rules." He says and I pull my hand away from his arm.
"It's her house." My voice is quiet, but even I can taste the bitterness in it. It's not deliberate, but natural.
Barnabas releases me and runs a hand through his dark hair in aggravation. "It is my life. Our marriage. She has no part in it."
I nod, not disagreeing with his statement, "Of course. But I suppose she…" I trail off and his eyes zero on mine.
"Yes?"
"I suppose she is right."
His eyes widen, "Right? So, you like it when she is spying on us? Our sexual life is not her concern."
I flush at his words and ignore it, but he is staring and it is not an easy task.
"I don't mean that…Of course not. Why…" Words betray me and I reach up to rub my temples, "Why did you marry me?" I look up and I can see that he is frowning.
"You know why."
"Actually, I don't."
"You're wonderful." The words are spoken quietly and I can't help but smile at his kindness.
"But you do not love me. That is fine. Most marriages do not start out of love." I give a gentle shrug and he nods.
"And that is a good thing." He murmurs and I pause.
"Um…it is?"
He nods and smiles a little, "Love is blinding…It blurs things together until you can no longer see clearly."
His tone is distant, as if he is making an observation and I frown a little.
"You mean to say that marriages are better without love?" I ask and he looks at me, his chest heaving with his inhalation.
"What is love, Elita? It is no longer clear to me." He steps closer and slowly reaches up to trail the back of his knuckles over my cheek. I shiver, but don't move.
"All I know is that if I had married Josette…" He trails off and I am suddenly very interested and very much aware of his close proximity.
"What?" I breathe and he briefly closes his eyes as if to gather his thoughts.
"I would have smothered her." He finishes and I gasp a little.
"Smother?"
He lets out a long breath, "Not literally. My desire for her-my desire to be with her-would have smothered her. It would have killed anything between us because infatuation leaves no room for an appropriate relationship to develop. It fogs everything with the desire to simply be with someone instead of allowing the chance to actually get to know them." He pulls his hand away from my cheek and shrugs helplessly, "I know nothing about Josette. I don't know what she likes to do, or what kind of…I was preoccupied with my fixation to care about knowing her. What does that tell about love?"
I stare at him for a few moments before I speak, "Then it is not love." I say at last and he looks wounded at my words, "Love does not linger on one's looks…It has deeper roots…Roots that only time and death can tear. Love sees beyond what is visible to the eye."
He exhales quietly and bites his lip, "Now I feel young and ignorant." He mutters awkwardly and I actually laugh.
"I feel the same."
He cocks an eyebrow at my response. "What about Mr. Black-…"
"Mr. Black is not an appropriate example when we talk about love." I take a step back, but he catches my elbow before I can distance myself more.
"Then what is?"
"I am not sure yet." I shake my head, "I shall only endeavor to know with time."
Barnabas regards me for a few moments before he pulls me to his chest, "Forgive me…for all the things you heard. I shall make sure no one meddles with our affairs again."
His words are breathed in my ear and I briefly curl an arm around his slim waist, applying gentle pressure and he sighs.
"Alright." I say out loud, but I know it is impossible.
He lingers for a moment longer and then pulls back, "I will talk with the maids and I will make clear that only Helen is accepted into our chamber."
I lick my lips and nod, "May I speak freely?" I ask and he nods.
"Of course."
I take a deep breath, "I do not think your mother put her up to it. I do think she has a mind of her own…"
He furrows his brow, "You speak as if you have personal experience. Did something happen?" His eyes are searching mine with care and I shake my head.
"Nothing I couldn't handle. "
"Elita, if she was out of line-…"
"Barnabas, I shall be honest. Do not expect her to show respect to me. As long as I am here-…"
"What does that mean? As long as you are here? You're my wife."
I clear my throat, "So it's said, but I am not the one who knows you. She is. So, as long as I am here she will never-…"
"I don't like the doubt in your voice." He cuts me off, "I have done nothing since that night to encourage her."
"Barnabas," I start, "She is a young woman…A woman who works as a maid. A man like you showed her interest. It's only natural that she will cling to that night. I am sorry to tell you this, but it is your fault. Now we have to endure it unless you dismiss her."
He looks stricken, but his eyes show comprehension. "I understand…but I can't dismiss her. It wouldn't be right…I…" He closes his eyes briefly and then nods, "You are right. Do you think talking to her would help?"
I sigh in relief, "Probably. You're the only one she'll listen…"
Hopefully. I think, but don't speak the word out loud.
"Alright." He nods to himself and then looks up at me, "Thank you." He breathes and then he steps forward, leaning towards me. I am holding my breath, expecting the upcoming kiss, but not knowing where I should expect it. His destination is obviously my forehead, but then he stops. I watch as his eyes flicker above my shoulder for a moment, but then they are on me. He exhales quietly and then he closes the gap between us with a kiss on my slightly parted lips. My eyes drift closed as his mouth closes around my bottom lip and when he lingers, sucking the tender flesh I exhale shakily. He pulls back with a chaste kiss on the corner of my mouth and my eyes fly open.
"I shall see you tonight." He murmurs and parts from me.
I stand there with a short breath and flushed cheeks and when he speaks I freeze.
"Good day, mother." He mutters as his footsteps take him away from the room.
I slowly turn around and my eyes lock with Lady Collins' stony gaze.
"Is there-…"
"Your input is needed in the kitchen. For the day's menu." She cuts me off in a strong voice and I frown.
"Oh, I thought you…"
"My son has made it clear that I am no longer the lady of the house. Otherwise he would respect my words and warnings. Perform your duty soon, please. That goes for all your duties, child." With these words she turns and walks out of the room, leaving me alone.
I stand for a while, simply mulling over her words and I come to the conclusion that I only just now have started to fully realize the extent of her expectations. I also come to the alarming realization that my mother- in-law doesn't like me.
I take an uneven breath and as I look up I can already feel the stony walls of Collinwood closing in on me, making it difficult for me to breathe. They are right. Gilded cages do come with a price.
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
I don't even know how long I have been in the library. Probably hours, but it seems like days since I arrived at the West wing of the manor. I lean further back in the plush armchair and blink, trying to ignore how heavy my eyelids feel. Dinner was awkward. Master Joshua was groggy and tired, but he ate. Lady Collins was silent and forbidding every time I attempted to make conversation and Barnabas…Barnabas was not there. He didn't come for dinner. I don't know why I was so surprised and disappointed; probably because he is the only person who can make dinner time bearable. His mother's gaze is always too studying and judgmental to make anyone comfortable, let alone me.
I shift upon the armchair and stretch my legs upon the stool, hell-bent on my decision to finish the chapter before I turn in for the night, but I am too distracted. I place the open book on my lap and rub my eyes with both hands, trying to ease the tension behind my burning eyelids. I have long realized that I am homesick. I miss my own room, my own bed; I even mish my mother and her constant chatting. Collinwood is my new house, but it is not a home; it is not my home.
The door creaks open and I look up with a start. Barnabas looks at me with soft eyes and I take a deep breath.
"Good evening." He murmurs and I nod at him.
"Welcome." I put my book aside and lean forward to place it on the small table next to me, "Are you hungry or did you have dinner already?" I ask and as I turn towards him I am surprised to see that his eyes are on my bare feet. I look down and notice that my black and white robe has been pushed up, revealing my calves to his dark gaze.
I lower my feet from the stool and stand. The robe slides down and covers my legs.
His eyes trail up and when he locks eyes with me his cheeks are a little pink.
"I have had dinner in the kitchen." He points out meaningfully and I pause.
"Oh." I gather my book and walk towards him, "Should I be worried?" I ask quietly, but he only shakes his head.
"Alright…You look tired." I murmur and he runs a hand through his hair before groans.
"I've been at the docks all day and then I had to work on some papers." He admits with a sigh and I nod.
"I see. Come, I shall draw you a bath." I say as I pass by him.
When he doesn't follow me I pause and turn to look at him, "Is there something wrong?" I frown.
Barnabas pushes away from the door and walks towards me, his eyes thoughtful and dark. "Why are you doing this?"
"What?"
"Ignore the way I look at you." He deadpans and I flinch.
"I do not."
"Yes, you do. It is like you don't want me to pay you any attention."
"That's not true." I defend and then I sigh, "I just don't want you to feel that you're obliged to fuss over me. I would be grateful if I could call you my friend."
"I am your friend." He insists, "But I am also your husband. I want to be and you seem reluctant to accept it."
"I am not reluctant. I am trying." I say as I step up to him and look him in the eye, "You would have seen that if you had followed me." I retort and then I pull away, "Will you come?"
His mouth twitches and before I know it he is fully smirking at me, his eyes playful, "Oh wouldn't you like to know?" He murmurs and I push away the blush that is fighting for dominance before I turn my back to him.
"Good." I mutter before I start walking towards our chamber. My skin prickles when he follows me at an appropriate distance.
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
"When I was a child I fell into a huge bucket of water." Barnabas' voice startles me from my awfully embarrassed state and I look at him.
He is lounging back in the bath tub with his hands hanging from of the edges.
"What?" I laugh as I lather up a cloth and then bring it to my nose.
"Deer musk." He answers my silent question and I look up, "Mixed up with musk flower. Do you like it?" He asks and I nod.
"Earthly." I reply, "Yet alluring." I murmur and then I realize why he smells like that all the time. It's his soap.
"Hmm…You don't want to know from what it is made of." He chuckles and I roll my eyes.
"I do know what deer musk is." I announce and then lean forward to rub at his forearm with the soapy cloth, "So, how did you fall in the bucket? How on earth can you fall into a bucket?" I ask and he smirks.
"Well," he raises his chin as I pass the cloth up and down his neck, "If you're a tiny lad you can fall into a large bucket of water. Our laundry maid did get an earful from my mother for the incident if I recall correctly." He adds with a little laugh and I smile.
"Well, since we are sharing embarrassing incidents," I start and his eyes lock on my face as I wash his shoulders, "I was forced to sing in church when I was little…They didn't really know if I could actually sing and so," I look at him and he's already grinning, "So, when I actually stepped up to sing…I was so out of tune that the priest himself had to stop me. Personally, I didn't think I was that bad, so I kept singing afterwards in a vain attempt to convince my parents and the priest that I can sing. It earned me a sore throat and a lot of embarrassment." I shrug and he chuckles.
"I cannot imagine you not being able to sing…You have a very soothing voice…" he starts, "Have you tried it since then?" He tilts his head to the side as I take his hand and raise it so I can wash his underarm.
"I have not…" I shake my head.
"Not even in the bath?" He asks as he takes my hand and brings it to his mouth. Wet and soapy as it is he kisses it and looks up at me.
"Sometimes." I admit and he smiles before he leans forward. His fingers hook on the knot of my robe and with a tug he loosens it.
I grasp his hand and he looks at me. "Barnabas."
"It is only fair." He murmurs and I swallow hard.
"Life is not fair." I say, but his free hand is already sliding my robe up my thighs, bunching it around them until his fingertips glide over the back of my legs.
"You are fair. Now, join me." His voice is a whisper and I take a deep breath before I release his wrist. I reach up and part the robe, shrugging it off my shoulders until I am only in my thin chemise. I drop the robe to the floor and I place one leg inside the water and then the next. His hands slide up to my hips as I do so and when I lower myself inside the soapy water they encircle my waist, turning me and pulling me to his chest.
The thin fabric of the chemise is immediately soaked from the water and I am fairly certain that it is transparent, but I decide not to worry about it since the water reaches my breasts.
The sensation of his nose on the skin of my neck is sufficient enough to make me shudder because it is warm and wet from his bath. He briefly nuzzles my pulse spot and his fingers rub circles on my waist as he reclines back in the tub with his spine firmly pressed against the cool surface.
"Isn't this nice? Hmm? You were getting cold in that flimsy thing." His breath is hot on my ear and I can feel his hand on my loose bun, his fingers twirling a stray lock of hair.
"What did you do today?" He asks and I am thankful when he pulls his attention from me; at least with his words if not his hands.
"I busied myself in the kitchen. Trying to avoid…" I trail off and then I bite my tongue hard.
"Let me guess. You wanted to avoid my mother." He sighs as he slides his hand on my stomach, just under my breasts, "What did she say to you?"
I pause because I don't wish to be the cause of more arguments between them.
"Nothing." I choose to lie, "I just realized that she doesn't like me."
I can feel his chest heave with his sharp intake, "Darling, my mother doesn't like any women, let alone the woman who has become my wife."
"Yes…Even my choice of menu was not to her liking." I mutter as I twirl my finger in the water, disturbing it.
"I liked it well enough." His reply makes me smile and I relax in his hold a little.
"Why is that?" I ask suddenly and he pauses.
"Why is what? The seasoning was excellent and the-…"
I laugh. "No, why do mothers detest brides? I don't understand it. What is so special about men? Shouldn't our mothers worry about the fate of their daughters too?" My questions come with large tinges of complaint in them and I can hear the wheels turning in his head as he considers my questions.
"I do not know." He answers at last as he pushes me backwards so that I am leaning against his chest. As my head finds his shoulder, he reaches up to cradle my head in his soapy hand.
"I suppose it is that blasted belief that no woman can ever satisfy the son besides the mother." He murmurs and I laugh a little.
"Now, I don't think your mother would be happy if you had the role of Oedipus."
Barnabas chuckles, "You know about the myth?" He asks as he presses his lips to my temple, moistening it with water.
"Of course…The king who leaves his son to die in hopes that he can reverse an awful prophecy. Then the son survives and he is raised by another king. Oedipus grows up and learns about the prophecy that forced his actual father to abandon him and flees his home. On his way to his fate, he encounters a man and they get into a quarrel." I pause when I feel his lips on my cheek, but I go on, "Oedipus kills the man and arrives at the city of Thebes. On his way there, he answers the Sphinx's riddle. The Sphinx was a monster that had been plaguing the city and with his right answer he manages to free Thebes. He soon finds out that the king is dead and since he answered the Sphinx's riddle, he can now marry the king's widow, Jocast. Without him knowing much about her, he marries Jocast and they have two children. Later it is revealed that the son married the mother and so, once the realization dawns Jocast kills herself while Oedipus blinds himself with a pin from her dress." I pause as he presses his cheek against mine and sighs, "Jocast did not only marry her son, but also her husband's killer. An original tale about fate and its cruel tricks." I shake my head, "So, I do not think your mother would actually want to damn her soul."
"Sinners are those who pretend to be virtuous while they are not. A sin is not only a deed, but also a thought, even a word. My mother is blind if she thinks she is the perfect wife." Barnabas mutters as he kisses my cheek again.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask and he swallows before he replies.
"Never mind that…" He dodges the question and I frown.
"But-…"
"You've read ancient myths…So, I suppose that like me you were tutored at home?" He changes the subject, but I can tell that there was bitterness in his previous words.
"Yes, I was." I nod my head and he hums in response.
"Then you might need to search my library better. I have a book about Greek mythology. I think you shall find it interesting." His hand is on my shoulder, gently kneading as I nod.
"So." I start as I turn to look at him, "Why did you look so tired when you returned earlier?" I ask and he tenses up.
"I told you."
"But I don't believe you. I think your time in the kitchens was far more tiring than your business at the docks." I hint and he sighs.
"Well, if you must know, it was awful." He admits, "I have no wish to dig deeper tonight, please."
I nod, "Of course. I am sorry. It's not my business."
"Of course it is." He grasps my chin and turns me towards him, "And I am sorry about my mother. She will get used to it." He smiles at me and I take a breath before I return it. I reach up and place my hand over his on my chin.
"They brought new carpets for the chamber today…Persian carpets. In blue colors." I narrow my eyes and he blinks innocently.
"Oh?"
"Barnabas," I sigh with a smile, "I know you ordered them for me."
The innocent mask breaks when he grins at me, "You caught me." He leans closer, "What are you going to do with me now?" He asks huskily and I shiver as his hand slides up to my left breast, touching me through the soaked chemise.
"Thank you." I whisper and he brushes his nose against mine.
"It's your room and you can decorate it in your favorite color. What was my mother's response?" He asks as his fingers brush my collarbone.
"She stared. A lot." I say and he laughs before his eyes darken.
"I want to make you happy." His hand closes over my breast again, cupping it and I inhale sharply, a hazy fog falling over my eyes, veiling them. "In any way that I can." He adds and my lips part as his touch lingers, scorching my skin with heat even through the clothing that is separating us.
I blink the haze away, but it doesn't budge and when he leans closer I don't move away. His lips cover my own and he presses me closer, his chest digging into my side and his thighs tight around my hips. I let my mouth drop open and he groans as his tongue rubs against my bottom lip.
His hand cups the back of my head and as I kiss him I can feel him pressing against me, the evidence of my affect on him hot and heavy against my thigh.
My eyes widen and I place my hand on his chest in an effort to gather my thoughts and think. He releases my mouth with a soft grunt and his eyes open minutely to gaze at me.
I swallow hard and he leans his forehead against mine as he tries to regulate his breathing.
"Must I apologize?" He asks and I quickly shake my head.
My response causes him to smile and chuckle throatily, but before he can kiss me again there is a knock on our chamber door.
I freeze and slowly pull back. He releases me with reluctance and I slowly rise from the tub. Water drips down my body in thick rivulets at first, but I quickly reach for a towel. I glance at him as I try to get out of the water and he steadies me with a hand on my waist.
"Thank you." I breathe and he smiles at me, the grin secretive and intense and I quickly grab my robe and head for the chamber.
I remove the soaked chemise and quickly throw a thicker robe on me.
"Come in." I call and Helen peers inside, her cheeks flushed.
"I am sorry to disturb you, ma'am. Especially at this hour." She whispers and I beckon her inside.
"It's alright."
Well, it is after ten, but it is of no consequence. I can barely regulate the wild beating of my heart.
"Um, I have some news for Master." She says and I frown.
"News?"
"Yes, ma'am…Is he indisposed?" Helen asks and I slowly shake my head.
"No, he is…"
"Helen?" Barnabas appears at the threshold and he is clad in a pair of dark breeches and his robe, "What is it?"
Helen hesitates and looks at me. I frown and gaze at Barnabas with puzzlement.
"You may speak freely in front of my wife." He informs her and nods at her, encouraging her to speak.
Helen wrings her hands nervously before she steps closer.
"You…you asked me to deliver any news from the Du Pres residence to you, sir." She starts and I look at Barnabas. I watch as various emotions pass over his features, but the most prominent one is guilt.
"Indeed…Tell me. Is there something wrong?" He asks at last while shooting me a quick glance.
"Oh, master. The whole town is in a fuss! News arrived this evening that Ms. Du Pres fell ill."
Only silence follows until Barnabas' quiet whisper breaks it.
"Ill?"
I look at him and I long to touch him and comfort him, but I do not move because he might not want me to.
"Yes, sir. The family's doctor visited them and he had the most dreadful news! His wife has not stopped talking about it!" Helen looks deeply troubled and I start worrying that this is something way too serious.
"What news?" He asks impatiently and Helen bites her lip.
"Oh, sir…"
"Helen, calm down and talk to us." I speak up and the maid looks at me oddly.
"I fear of displeasing you, ma'am…" She whispers and I shake my head.
"You won't." I assure her and then she looks at my husband who is as still as a statue.
"What illness has fallen upon her? For God's sake, speak!" Barnabas hisses and Helen gulps.
"The rumor is that…Master, the rumor is that Ms. Du Pres was with child." Helen finally blurts out with a wince and I gasp while Barnabas blinks incomprehensively.
"What?" He whispers with his face as pale as a sheet, his normally handsome features now ashen.
"She was with child, but she lost it, sir. And now…" Helen trails off, but here is no need. I already know what the gossip is. Josette was his fiancée and so…
I slowly turn and look at Barnabas, but he is barely breathing. His eyes are two dark pools of despair and his lips are parted in agonizing shock.
"Barnabas?" I whisper as I touch his arm, but he flinches. He stumbles back and his eyes are suddenly on me, wide and tormented.
As he stares at me and I stare back, I realize that the rumor is probably not just a rumor. It's a fact, but before I have time to speak, he turns and disappears into the washroom. The slam of the door keeps ringing in my ears minutes after his leave.
Not helping it, I collapse on the first thing that is close to me; the carpeted floor.
End of chapter 9
Author's note: Thank you for reading. Were you expecting that? Do you think Barnabas knew about the pregnancy? Hmm?
Okay, some facts: musk deer is what musk soaps were initially made of. They used a certain gland of the deer (yes, the animal) and made the soap with a certain process, while adding musk flower in it…Odd, but yeah.
The myth about Oedipus is real as many of you might know. The Oedipus complex is derived from that particular Greek myth. Everything said in the chapter about it is real and not made up.
So, comments, please? I need them! Give me some love, people!
Until next time!
Xxx Lina ;o)
