AN: I really hope you like this chapter. I feel like Marian hasn't gotten enough time in this story, so here it goes :)
Disclaimer: Don't own Once.
Her angry demeanor slipped away as time passed. The bells to the diner entrance rang incessantly as people passed in and out. She wasn't sure how long she'd been sitting there, but the sun's light had shifted from her window to somewhere over the building. She looks around the simple restaurant and watches everyone as they either meet up with a friend or sit by themselves at the bar, talking to Red, the kind waitress who was excruciatingly calm with her earlier. Guilt builds in her stomach and she wants to apologize, but she's frozen in place. She tries to ignore the nagging thoughts in the back of her mind involving them; her fight runs dry in her heart. What is she supposed to think anyways? Let alone feel? And somehow, she feels like the bad guy. Like she's intruded on her own family.
She sighs. According to everyone else, she should've died. Tears form in her eyes. She should've died. A sob forms in her throat, but she chokes it down, she's in public. Crying in front of these people would be humiliating. But he came to terms with her death, even Roland, even her village. Everyone accepted her death. And now that she's here, in the future, staring her friends and family in the eye, they won't accept that she's alive. Maybe for that one brief moment when Robin hugged her last night, after she went through the portal, and he looked at her with love and wonder. But it was fleeting. He looks at her like she's a ghost, like she should be dead.
Her eyes continue to stare at the entrance, waiting, hoping. Finally, after what seemed like hours and probably was, the Merry Men walked in. This was the first time she actually stared at them. They look so different; they hold themselves higher, with more power. As if they've been through hell and back. And they probably have. She's been gone for a while, after all.
Roland walks in shortly after, pure innocence in his eyes and laughter. She feels it again in the pit of her stomach, the guilt and anger for not being there. He's grown up without a mother, without her. She briefly wonders what Robin told him about her. Maybe the truth? Roland's laughter dies a little when he sees her, but his face breaks out into a big smile and he runs towards her.
"Mom!" Her heart swells as she opens her arms to him. He easily glides into her embrace and she holds him tight.
"Hey, baby," she whispers, placing a light kiss on his head. "Did you have fun?" She smiles down at him.
He nods furiously. "It was awesome!"
She smiles at him, "That's great." She can't help staring at him. The last time she saw him, he was a baby. She hates that she couldn't watch him grow up, watch his first steps, his first word, what he likes to eat, his favorite book….everything.
Roland smiles at her again, not noticing her sadness, but lifts his hand to her face. She pauses, holding her breath, watching him. "Love you, mom," he smiles.
He heart breaks, and tears fill her eyes. "I love you too, baby," she replies. He jumps off her lap and walks back to the Merry Men, and watches as Red from the bar gives him chocolate milk in a small glass. Marian doesn't realize that tears are actually running down her face until wetness drops onto her hand. She quickly wipes them away, hating that her emotions are all over the place, but loving that they are for once happy tears.
She decides to stay in the booth, watching Roland and the Merry Men laugh and talk. A few minutes later, they all joined her, and they were soon acting as if five or six years never passed between them; just old friends catching up. They told her stories of Robin and their adventures since she's been "away" and she listens intently, barely noticing when she gestures to Roland to sit in her lap, and he does without a second thought as if it's second nature. Marian's arms easily wrap around him, and in the two days that she's been in Storybrooke, she begins to feel like she's home.
A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
-Florence + The Machine
