Two days had gone si nce Oliver had stormed off from my bedroom. I had gone over the details over, and over in my head but I couldn't understand what was wrong, what had happened? Had I been coming on too strong? Was it something I said? It was driving me crazy. I wanted to go to him and ask him, but I had to stop myself. From what I could make out, I hadn't done much wrong except from maybe coming on too strong but I wasn't going to apologise for that. No way.

I was working in the barn, taking care of the cows and calves making sure they all got their food for the day. I liked being inside there, sure it smelled worse than old cheese and some of the choirs were not the most pleasant one but it took my mind of things, and it was nice to sometimes walk around in an pair of dirty ripped jeans and old t-shirt and hat and just not care of what you looked like or if you smelled or not.

As I went to the small room in the beginning of the barn where all of the hay and the rest of the food was store, I realised that I needed to sort my life out. What did I want to do with my life? I certainly didn't want to spend it working at this farm for the rest of my life. I was taking a gap year, to think things through.

I couldn't help but to come back to thinking of Oliver, which seemed inevitable to do since I could not get him off my mind.

Why had I never asked him what he was going to do? Well, I know why. I was scared he would have it all planned out and he would go to study at a university somewhere far away, like in another country. Well, it didn't seem to matter, did it? It was obvious that he did not want me.

I took a stack of hay, and walked back. I always stopped to see how the cows attacked the hay like they haven't gotten food for days. I always found it very fascinating to see. It was not until I was in the end, when I had gotten to my favourite calf of the year, it was a black and white little thing, not older than two months that I had named Pearl when I after I had put the hay on the ground that I decided to stay. So I opened the metal door and walked in.

She was already devouring the hay, and I lean on her as I stroked her neck.

'Sometimes I almost envy you guys, your whole life is based on eating and breeding. You don't need to worry about any choices or such. Well apart from choosing what hay straw to choose or what patch of grass to bait.' I said and that is when I realised I was actually talking to a calf. I'm pretty sure that talking to a calf who was eating would be on a list on "When you know you are going insane".

From the entrance of the barn I could hear the heavy door being opened. Scratching some dirt away from my jeans I put a last gentle stroke on Pearl and walked out the stall and locked the gate before I tried to see who had walked in.

Probably dad. Would be just like him to see if I am doing the job correctly.

'Dad. I have done this a hundred times I-' I started but I saw as I had been speaking and looking in front where entrance was that the shadow appearing in front of me was clearly not my dad.

'Oh, Oli, Hi' I said and realise how dryly it came out. I had no idea how to act, should I be mad at him for storming out? Happy to see him? Worried that he might not want to ever see me again.

Suddenly I was very conscious of what I was wearing. Of course he decides to visit when I am in clothes covered in all kinds of dirt and an ugly cap that my dad used to have,

I wasn't moving. Oliver was walking towards me, his steps echoing in the room.

''Lee, I am sorry I stormed off like that' He said, standing in front of me. There was something very sincere in the way he said it.

'I-I just don't understand. Did I say something; do you find me repulsive? What is it?' I asked, and Oliver laughed. I was even more confused now than before.

He moved closer to me, until I could hear his every breath. Putting his hands on my wrist he pulled me closer. My heart felt like it skipped a bit when he did.

'Hailee, even in baggy clothes and covered in dirt I still find you sexier than any other girl I have ever seen' He said, and I could not help myself from a smile as I pulled my fingers through his thick light brown hair.

His grip around my waist got harder and pulled me as I parted my lips and I lost myself, and all distinction of time as we kissed.

When we were finished kissing, Oliver still had his hands around my waist and his brown eyes stared right into mine, his grip was staring to release.

'There is something I need to tell you, and that's why I left. I just couldn't do it if you didn't know.

He looked really worried. No, he looked terrified actually. I had never seen him look that way. He was always the happy, positive one with long motivational speeches and up for anything. Never scared, never terrified.

It made me quite distressed seeing him like this.

'Merlin, I even had a whole speech written down but I keep forgetting it now.'

'Oliver you are scaring me' I said.

HAILLEE' I heard an old familiar voice coming from the doors. I closed my eyes in disbelief. Why was it, that every single moment I had with Oliver was interrupted?

'YES dad' I spat out. I didn't mean to come out so annoyed.

'Well, I was just going to say that me and your sister are going to visit your mother now. I know you haven't been up to visiting her before, but I was thinking I was going to check'

'No, I am just going to stay here' I said, I hadn't visited my mom through one time. It was just that, if I saw her there, then, it would be real. It was like giving up and admitting that she was really ill.

'Hailee, you haven't visited your mother, she needs your support' My dad voice said, and it cut right through me like glass and left me shattered. I could hear the disappointment in his tone. I'm the oldest, I was supposed to be able to deal with this. Nailey was too young, something that she had been screaming about.

Oliver put his hand on your shoulder.

'Hailee, go and see your mom'

'But, you were going to tell me' I protested.

'It can wait' He said calmly.

'Can you come with me? I don't think I could handle it otherwise' I asked, and he nodded his head. I sighed. I was going to be strong, I'm going to be strong.

"Dad, I will go with you, I just need time to shower and change. Oliver's coming along' I said as my dad had started to walk out. He turned around, and even though it was dark I could feel the smile on his face.

'Thank you' I whispered to Oliver as I ran out to change.

We had gotten past the security and we sitting in the couch in the meeting room, where other visitors from patients with chairs on each side. There were guards in the room to, watching the every move of the patients. I didn't like it here at all. Everything was beige, the walls, the decorations, the furnitures, the uniforms...even the atmosphere felt surpressed. There were other people in the room; furthest away, the patient was a middle aged man, he had big bags under his eyes and his glance was completely empty, I had never seen anything quite like it and it terrified me. A lot. On the other side was a woman, a lot older than him, probably his mother and she was crying and making loud sobs

In the middle the patient was a woman in her twenties, and when I saw her I realised that the sight of her scared me more than the man. She looked completely healthy, her blonde hair was shining and her eyes lit up as she spoke to a man in the same age at the other side. If I would has seen her on the street I would think she was perfectly fine. My head was spinning and I could feel myself grabbing Oliver's hand tightly. I couldn't believe it, after all this time that my mother was actually here, in this place. The thought of actually seeing her, at this place was daunting.

'I need to get get some air, can you come with me Oliver?' I asked as I stood up. Oliver looked at me nodding, while Nelly and my dad looked a bit confused.

I steered me and Oliver out of the room, through some hallways until we got to the door that opened to the yard without saying a word. It was actually very pretty with the green field and the landscape, but I couldn't care less.

This is like a freaking prison" I murmured. I was looking down at my feet. I felt embarrassed, sad, angry and frustrated all at the same time. I didn't know it was possible for anyone to feel so much at the same time. I really didn't want Oliver to me like this. I didn't really know why I had asked him to come outside with me, maybe because I knew I would probably run away if someone didn't see after me.

'"lee, you are here, for her. That's all that matters, that's all she needs' he whispered as he put his hands on my shoulders. I buried my head in his t-shirt.

'Am I am horrible person for thinking that sometimes it would be so much easier without her' I said, trying to fight back the tears. Oliver cupped my chin with his hands.

'No, you're not'

I stared at him for a long time. I had never ever told this to anyone. I was half expecting him to think I was crazy. A part of me judge him for not reacting with saying that I was a disgusting person for thinking like that.

'Okay, let's go back' I said with a weak smile, Oliver nodded and as we walked back he grabbed my hand.

When we were back, my mom was already there. Talking with Nelly and dad. I saw the tired blue eyes, the greasy hair and the deep wrinkles I tried to imagine the image I had of her as young and happy but those memories had faded away a long time ago. Was she showing signs at that age or was she actually geniunely happy? When I looked at the old photographs it was like watching s0meone who had died. I could never tell that to dad though, all he dare to believe in was that everything would be okay. She looked at me when she saw me standing at the opening and stopped talking. I sat down on the same spot. Oliver sat down next to Nely again.

'Hi mum' I said. She smiled.

'How is it at home? Your dad and sister said it was good. But I know I can trust you too be honest' she said, winking a bit to them. I nodded my head, unsure what to say feeling a bit awkward.

It's…tough but we manage I suppose' I admitted.'What is it like here?' My mother … her nose.

'Not my favourite place exactly, but I think its helping' she said.

'That sounds great' I said in loss of trying to find anything more to say. What could I say? It was kind like talking to a stranger. Even though she was having a good moment now, I knew what it was like when those passed.

'So do you know when you will be back?' I asked.

'The doctors say that I am doing progress. Probably in a month or so'

'That's really good' I said.

'How is everything else? Work? Your friends, they are taking care of you?' she asked.

'Work is well, work but it's okay I guess. Yes mom, my friends are taking excellent care of me'

My dad put his hand on my shoulder, and leaned over me.

'We need to go now' he said and everyone stood up and took turns in hugging mom. As we made our way back, and Oliver took my hand I couldn't help but feel slightly more optimistic. Maybe it was all going to be okay in the end.

It was closing time at the café, I was the last one working today. After cleaning up all the tables and checking the daily statement I put my apron away behind the counter as a familiar plinging sound came from the door.

'Hey Bree' I said smiling when I saw the familiar blonde standing at the door. She was clutching a vodka bottle in her hand that was full. My smile suddenly faded. When I had my rebellious teenage ages, it was me and Bree that used to go down to the docks and drink straight from the wine or vodka bottle; whatever we could find really. However, as time went by we realised just how pointless and stupid it was.

'Bee, what is wrong?'

'You have Oliver, Felicia has Jasper. I'm all alone. Trust me, Evan and Hugh's talk about what celebrity they find the sexiest gets a bit tiresome after a while' she said 'and all other girls here hates me' she said and then lifted up the bottle. 'So how about it then?

'Bee, you do realise that the only reason those girls hate you is because you can get all of the guys here without any effort' I said and walked towards Bee.

'But I am sorry, I know that I have been busy with…everything. I promise that we will do more stuff together' I said and hugged Bee. I felt so bad.

'So let's go the docks' she said and stared right at me. 'For old times sakes'

'Fine, for old times sakes' I said, defeated. It's not like a couple of sips could hurt.

'GREAT' Bee said excited and put her arms around my shoulder, as we walked out of the café and I turned around to lock the door. Outside it was sunny, and it was something about how is was turning late but it was still out light, the flowers that had bloomed and the signs inside some of the shops with the sign "SALE" that made it feel like Summer. .

We walked down the high street, that was completely empty by now. We chatted cheerful as we walked down the stairs, before stepping in the sand we took off out shoes and continued to walk out to the dock where we sat down the furthest away. I rolled up my black jeans and dipped my feet into the water. It was pretty cold, but I had grown accustom to it.

Bee took a swig from the bottle, making a disgusted face as she passed it on to me. Hesitating for a while, I drank the clear liquid.

This isn't that bad I thought before I felt the burning sensation in my throat.

'This is giving me so much flashbacks' Bee said. I nodded my head.

'Only difference is that now its legal'

'What's is up with you and Oliver by the way?' she asked.

'What do you mean?'

'Well, are you guys a couple or not' She answered, it was the same question I had been asking myself for a while now.

'We haven't really discussed that. Every time I try to bring it up, he seems to switched conversation or something comes up' I admitted.

'Oh'

We sat there, on the dock; switching the bottle between us two as we laughed to old memories. It wasn't until we stood up, and we both lost control the moment we tried that I realised just how drunk we were.

'Beeeeeeeeee' I slurred as we stumbled our way back out.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssss'

'We are DRUUUNKKK' we both started laughing incontrollable.

'You-you, you know what youshoulddo?' Bee said. I shook my head feverishly.

'You should go to O-Oliver, and t-tell -tell and ASK him!' At the moment it seemed like the most brilliant and sensible thing to do.

'I WILL!' I yelled and we marched out on the beach where we swung ourselves on our way to the main street, almost falling a lot of times.

'TAXI' I yelled as I saw a black taxi on the parking lot.


So I know I haven't updated, in like forever, and I am SOO SORRRY about. IB is just a freaking killer. Even now in the summer I don't have much rest from school. *sigh* In one week I am staring my senior year. It's going to be the craziest year of my life as basically everything I do in my last year is what my grades is on. SO, what I am saying is that be prepared that my updates are not going to be that great. at all. I will try. This is kind of a cliff hanger so I wlll perhaps try and see if I can finish next chapter before school starts. Thank you guys for being so patient.

I am not sure if the whole drunk thing is such a horrible cliche though. I will see if I change it.

Thanks for reading, favourising, alerting and for all of the lovely reviews. You guys are awesome.

For those who are following my other story, I will also try to see if I can update before school starts. I won't promise anything for both stories as basically I got a summer's work load to do in 1 week.

BTW: for those who haven't seen A Very Potter Musical or A Very Potter Sequel ( it's on youtube ) I strongly advice you to check it out. It's the most awesomest thing ever. Just type it in on youtube and the channel is called "StarKidPotter"

I probably have other things to add but it is 01:30 am and I am so tireeed.