I am aware that this chapter has been a long time coming. A combination of Uni, family and writers block had this chapter three quarters written. This is a longer chapter with only one more to come in this story which hopefully will be out quite soon as the holidays are here and I have lots of writing time.

In the meantime:

As soon as I saved this story my hard drive collapsed and I thought I had lost everything as only half the information on the hard drive was backed up. I nearly cried, nearly panicked and nearly gave up on finishing this story. Thankfully I have a computer lady who amazingly retrieved nearly everything on the old hard drive. I nearly kissed her (which could have been awkward) when I picked it up this morning.

Note to self – back up everything to the cloud.

xxx

It had been an exhausting week.

Claudia and Steve were on assignment in Seattle, Artie had convinced them that Claudia's youth and vitality was the key to finding an artefact, but Helena suspected that it was her edgy style and constantly changing hair that was really the key. After all, the artefact was causing havoc with fans of a band called 'In Hearts Wake' whom Helena had never heard of and wasn't all that impressed with when she heard the screaming that Claudia convinced her was actually the lead singer.

Myka and Pete had been gone since Friday and Helena was left to her own devices doing inventory, which she found tedious.

She was restless. She snapped at Artie, which wasn't all that unusual, and Ms Cho which was.

She was only settled when she returned to the B & B and was able to spend time with Adelaide.

But when her new charge went to bed, she was bored. She couldn't even find the energy to tinker.

This malaise was not something she was used to so when Myka finally got back, she was more pleased than ever to see her.

"Myka, finally you're back. How was the trip?"

"Well Pete developed a rash that he wouldn't even let me look at and was such a grump he didn't even try to hit on the very attractive waitress who flirted incessantly with him. It was pitiful really. He's gone to see Dr Vanessa. He's sure it's artefact related but I think it's probably just heat rash."

"And the mission, you were gone so long, was it dangerous?"

"Not dangerous no, it just took us a long time to find? How were things here?" She looked at Helena, really looked at her. "You look tired HG, is everything ok?"

Was it, she thought. She wasn't sure.

"Oh well, you know. Same old, same old" she replied.

"HG, I would really like to sit down and talk. You've not been yourself lately and if it's about Nate and you'd like to talk about it, I'm always here."

Helena knew she did not want to discuss Nate with Myka. How could she tell her she was only in Wisconsin because of warehouse business? That she had stayed away from Myka when she needed her the most. And she could never tell her of Claudia's back up plan, Myka knew the lengths Helena would go to save those she loved, but she would never agree to it. Better for her to believe that Helena chose to be with Nate because she wanted the family she had lost.

She was equally sure she didn't want to go back to carelessly flirting with the woman she was hopelessly in love with. She knew that to do this would feel false to both herself and Myka after all she had been through.

And so she found herself in a quandary. There was nothing she could do and so she took the only course she thought she had open to her.

"Of course Myka, though I fear now is not a good time. Perhaps I'll see you tomorrow" Helena replied, effectively running away from the issue.

Myka watched her walk upstairs and into her room.

"Damn." She thought "This was going to be harder than expected."

Xxx

It was time. Pete was in Denver with Steve. Claudia was at the warehouse with Artie. Abigail was meeting with the Regents and Adelaide was about to leave for school. Myka had the day off and it was time to have that chat with HG. She held her up before she could leave for the warehouse. "Helena, would you stay with me for a short time, I have something I need to do and I would like your help?"

"Of course Myka, allow me a moment to see Adelaide off to school and I'm all yours."

Myka retreated to the library to wait for HG. She wanted to be surrounded by her books to give her a little courage.

"All right darling. What is it I can help you with?" asked Helena as she sauntered into the room.

"Actually HG, it's something I wanted to talk to you about." She said, standing up to meet her.

"Myka I don't think now is the time." Replied HG as she turned to go.

"Why not HG?" she pleaded, grabbing her arm. "I know you. Something's wrong. Is it what happened to Nate? You can tell me anything Helena. Remember, I know you better than you know your own self."

"Oh Myka, I wish it were that easy." Remonstrated Helena as she sat down on the chaise lounge, head in hands.

"It can be Helena, please just talk to me."

Helena looked into the eyes of the woman who was able to convince her to do almost anything.

She wondered if she could allow herself to just let go and tell Myka everything she was feeling.

"Myka. I want nothing more than to tell you everything. But I can't"

"Well" said Myka. "How about I start with what I know, and you can fill in the blanks"

"What do you mean?"

Myka started to pace in the way HG knew meant she had plenty on her mind.

"I didn't cotton on at first, the night you came to my room was blurry. I only really remembered that you had been there and after we talked, I had the strength to get up and go on. Pete dragged it out of me and we started the doctor hospital thing."

She continued to pace.

"Then when I was in the hospital, you said you'd stay for as long as you can, like you had to get back for a very important reason. I didn't think about it then, but Nate would never have kept you away from a sick friend, he was a nice guy."

"And in Wisconsin, you were so glib about the warehouse." She faced Helena accusingly. "Totally out of character for you HG. I mean really. It's the warehouse, you and Claudia are the only two people I have ever heard of who smell apples in the warehouse. She explained it to me one day and she got this really dreamy look, followed closely by a look of panic. But you leaving the warehouse would be like Claudia leaving the warehouse and that is never going to happen."

"Finally. Finally. I knew something was up when I called Pete to tell him that we needed to find you, that something was wrong, and Claudia said 'how did you know'. Not how did I know. This made me think that Claudia knew something, and I was right, she did know something. "

Myka stopped and faced Helena, letting her eyes meet those of the inventor. "It dawned on me Helena. You were being selfless again weren't you? Was it the Regents?" she queried.

"Of course it was." She rolled her eyes answering her own question.

"You were probably instructed to keep us out of the loop. Probably to protect us."

She sat down across from Helena.

"Let me guess, there was a threat to the Warehouse and you were sent in to clean up. You got involved with Nate and Adelaide and something went wrong and Nate died."

Myka watched as Helena's gaze left her own and she knew she was close to the truth.

"How am I doing so far?"

"Unbelievably accurate if you must know." Countered Helena as she realised that Myka had come quite close to the truth of the matter, as she knew she might. Thankfully she never mentioned the closeness that they had shared when Helena had been able to get away to see her.

"But Myka, you know the work we do. Top secret and all that. You know there are things I just can't tell you."

"Oh come on Helena. This is me you're talking to. I live in the top secret world as well."

This was it Helena thought. When she was entrusted with the astrolabe she was instructed to tell no one, to trust no one. But with the conclusion of her last assignment, the Regents had absolved her of all responsibility to the warehouse. In resuming her duties as a warehouse agent it came with the addendum that she was allowed one. One person whom she could tell about her work.

She had known for quite some time now that Myka was the one person for whom she would do anything, her feelings for Myka allowing her to see the world for its endless possibilities.

She could continue to push Myka away or embrace the possibility that by coming back to the warehouse she might actually have a chance to live the life she was destined to, surrounded by people she loved. Could she tell her the truth about Wisconsin and the depth of her feelings for the younger agent?

She recalled a conversation she had with the annoyingly insightful Ms Cho.

"Adelaide seems to be settling in well" said Ms Cho as she entered the dining room.

"Yes, she has adapted quite well to the move" answered HG turning away from the window "children are rather resilient."

"And how have you settled in?" enquired the resident psychologist.

"Oh well, you know. The Warehouse never changes" said Helena as she sat down at the table and picked up her tea.

"But we do Ms Wells" continued Abigail, sitting herself across from the contemplative agent.

"Please tell me if I am overstepping but the woman I have observed over the past several weeks doesn't match the picture I have of you from the conversations and comments from your fellow agents."

"Indeed? And what, pray tell, have my fellow agents been saying?" enquired HG as she raised her eyebrows.

"Myka has told me many stories about the escapades you two have had. It's quite odd that she talks about you with reverence as she rolls her eyes. She also said that you flirt even more than Pete does."

"An over exaggeration I'm sure."

"Even so." Abigail spoke as she tilted her head questioningly.

"I'm a good listener Ms Wells. There is no judgement here, only concern."

Helena sighed with frustration. She had resumed her duties at the Warehouse but hadn't returned to her previous wonder in the presence of the curiosities that had previously enthralled her.

"I just can't seem to recover from this malaise." HG Said

"I imagine you are still grieving" replied Abigail.

"Dear god I hope not, that process hasn't gone too well for me in the past."

"There are other ways we grieve HG. It is widely accepted that there are five phases in the grief cycle" began Abigail.

"In your past you've experienced the anger phase in response to your daughter's death and I believe that your need to be bronzed was an attempt at denial. Had you not been bronzed you may have already experienced the other three and would be aware that that is what you are going through at the present time."

"From my observations I believe that you are moving from depression to acceptance part of the process in regards to Adelaide's father's death" Finished the resident psychologist gently.

"What a load of codswallop, I have never been depressed in my life" answered HG in a snit.

"I apologize if I have offended you HG, I'm just verbalising the things I've seen of your behaviour since you've been here."

"Do you always spy on the people in this establishment?" queried the inventor heatedly.

"Not spy agent Wells, simply make observations about the people I share a home with." She replied softly, silencing further outbursts from the inventor.

Myka watched as Helena seemed to come to a decision.