Thank you to MsMKT68 and Guest for reviewing! :)

I apologise for the lack of updates lately and this not-so-eventful chapter might not make up for it, but I hope it's okay.


IX. After

I spend the next few hours drifting in and out of consciousness. Well… when I am conscious, I'm pretty sure that I'm only half awake. It's impossible tell when my body is constantly being prodded with the medical process I need to undergo. I've been injected with who knows how many liquids and I feel like my entire body is bloating. My eyelids droop and I've been told that I've been hooked on a small amount of morphine, so I won't feel the pain in my leg.

When I'm asleep, I can only see the faces of the boy with brown eyes, the girl from District Twelve who was strangled to death, and the pair from District One. I almost punch a male nurse. I pack a weak punch right now, being mostly immobilised and pinned onto the bed. Yet another liquid is injected into my system and I let out a weak groan in response, before my vision turns black.

I finally wake without the buzzing of machines and nurses around me and I almost scream in relief. Almost. I don't when I notice the old lady who sits next to me, watching me with a gummy smile.

"Mags," I manage to croak out. Stumbling off my bed and ignoring the slight pain in my leg, I hug her. I hug her like it's the last hug I'll ever receive and the world will end tomorrow. "Thank you."

"I told you that you could do it," she says, proudly, "And you did it." Her light green eyes stare right through my soul.

"Maya."

I end up sobbing in her arms as she runs her fingers through my hair and stays there, patiently. I can't be more grateful for her than I already am. "I know, honey," she replies, "But it's not your fault."

"Yes, it is."

"No, Finnick. Don't you ever think that. It was her choice," she scolds me. "Don't think for a second that it's your fault. As hard as it is to do so, she'd want you to move on. You didn't do it because you wanted to so there's nothing to feel guilty about."

I'm about to reply but someone clears their throat behind us. I turn around and see Shelley, who looks at me with a sad smile. "I really hate to interrupt but Finnick, your prep team is waiting for you. Your crowning's tonight."

Pulling away from Mags, I rub my eyes and nod. "Okay."

"Good job, Finnick."

The moment I step out into the hallway, I'm bombarded and escorted to another building by Cartia, Ellina and Aurora. They chirp, happily and gush over how well I did in the arena. I allow their words to sink in but my mind is some place else.

"You were absolutely brilliant, Finnick!"

"When you and Maya messed around by the river in only your underwear," one of them giggles, "that set the sponsor money soaring."

"Stunning as always, Finn."

"I bet your parents are proud of you."

Within a few hours, I'm dressed in an outfit that is almost identical to the one I wore for the interviews. The only difference is that the white transparent shirt is now a pale shade of green.

"You look gorgeous, Finnick," Tatiana smiles at me. "Make them proud and don't express your emotions too much. Nobody wants to see a Victor cry on stage."

I'm almost offended by this statement. She thinks I'm crazy, doesn't she? Maybe I am; maybe I'm just a Victor who has become a lunatic.

"You think I'll cry?" I ask. My voice cracks slightly.

She shakes her head, rapidly. "No, no, of course not. It's happened a few times before and the audience never like it - not in the Capitol anyway. You're strong," she says, unbuttoning the top two buttons of my shirt. "I know you can do this. Watch it but block it all out. You barely have to say anything tonight."

The next three hours are torturous. I'm forced to watch myself. The replay begins with the reapings, with District Four being shown in detail. I watch Maya volunteer for poor Rhea, and I watch myself walk up the stage after my name is called. Then, it's the Opening Ceremonies. The roars of the crowd, both on and off screen, erupt and almost deafen me. The smile I have plastered on my face when I'm on the chariot is so genuine. I wonder if I'll ever be able to smile genuinely again.

My training score of Ten pops up on the screen, along with my grinning face, and then it's the interviews - the interviews where Maya and I had won the entire crowd over. The bloodbath begins and I force a smirk upon my lips, as I watch myself take over the Cornucopia and as Maya shoves three tributes into the initial swamp. It fast forwards a bit, until we're against the two boys with the mace and sickle and more cheering roars in my ears as Maya and I make the final blows.

I hear a few giggles and chuckles when the scene of Maya and I in our undergarments appear on screen. And then, we're walking around. We're running for our lives, away from the mutt-like vines, and the girl from Twelve is suffocated. I watch myself murder the boy with the brown eyes and run off the cliff after being chased by snakes, cringing. Our fall seems to last barely a second, contrasting from the years it felt like to actually plunder down. I grimace as I watch Maya taking care of me. She saved me but I couldn't save her.

It seems like I never cease to disappoint myself.

When I finally wake up in the video, it is shown that the girl from Six had constantly been stalking us and I clench my fists by my sides. My nails dig into my palm, creating crescent indents into my skin, and I have to force myself to not remove my eyes from the big screen. Watching myself kill Maya… I never want to see it ever again. I watch myself train for a few hours and then make nets and traps, before the final bloodbath.

I feel no guilt or remorse when I see myself stabbing the girl from Six, though I know that she didn't deserve that. Killing Carter wasn't pleasant either. And then, it was just me and Indiana, who had the supposed gift of sexual appeal.

I notice that the two of us are almost like we're playing a game, as we both seduce each other in an attempt to kill the other. I must say it was interesting, yet also disturbing to watch such a scene. Within seconds, my trident is sticking out of her chest and I'm announced the Victor.

"Give it up for your victor, Finnick Odair!" Caesar screams into his microphone and I force myself to smile. Women scream and men cheer. It looks like they're trying to trample over each other. As the anthem plays, President Snow walks up to me and places the crown on my head. I've never noticed before, but I now see how his eyes are like those of a snake's. An evil snake. They're like pits of nothing but evil. When he breathes out, my eyes water as I'm overwhelmed by the stench of roses and blood. He gives me a mere nod and walks out.

When it's finally, I'm dragged to what seems to be a party for the Victors, by a mass of golden blonde hair. It's Cashmere who drags me along; she's the girl who won last year, right after her brother, Gloss. They're only seventeen, I think. She offers me a kind smile and explains, "After the interviews, there's usually a party for the mentors and the new Victor. Welcome to the family."

Family.

I guess we're a family…

"Hey, Delgado!" shouts a man from District Two. Drakula Hook. "Where's your dear brother?"

"Got a meeting," she replies, shooting him a glare.

He snickers, as if he's amusing himself. "Being a Capitol whore again, Cashy?"

With another menacing glare, she digs her nails into my arm and storms off, dragging me along. "I'm sorry about that," she apologises, bitterly.

"It's fine."

Scanning across the other faces in the room, I recognise a few of the victors. There's Mags, Shelley and Cashmere, of course, as well as Lyme, Blight, Cecelia, Chaff who only has one hand and Haymitch who is unsurprisingly, a drunken mess. "Congratulations, kid," he slurs. "Have a nice life." With that, he downs another glass of alcohol and bursts into a random fit of laughter.

I don't remember much of what happens for the rest of the night. I only know that I downed a few shots of vodka and danced around like nothing else mattered. My head pounds when I wake up the next morning and I find myself throwing up in the bathroom.

How pleasant.

A tinkle of laughter erupts from the doorway and I realise that it's Cashmere.

"Is it always like this?" I ask, rubbing my temples.

She screams at me, "You'll get used to it eventually."

I emit a groan. "Stop shouting."

She laughs again and hands me two pills and a glass of water. "Take this," she says, quietly, "It'll help."

It takes a few minutes for the effects to kick in and I can successfully brush my teeth after this. "Where am I?" I question.

"District One level," she replies, looking a little amused. "Why else would I be here?"

I shrug. By the looks of things, Cashmere is nice; a little too nice for a Career. "You told Indiana to seduce me, didn't you?" I accuse, before I can even think.

Goddamnit, I need think before I say or do.

She shakes her head. "No… She did that herself. I advised her not to do it and look where that ended up, huh?" She releases a bitter laugh. "I was told to do it last year but that backfired. I couldn't do it because I felt too guilty… I know what you're thinking, Finnick. A girl from District One who thought twice about killing someone? Unheard of, right?"

This time, I'm the one who shakes my head. "No, no… It's actually a bit nice, I guess, to have someone understand."

There's always Mags, but she's an old lady. I don't want to ever tire her speech out or anything. Cashmere is only two and a half years older, so she'd probably remember a lot more than Mags. It's not that I don't want Mags around - heck, I would love that - but she's already done so much for me.

Cashmere smiles at me, showing off her pearly white teeth. "You have Mags and Shelley; they're nice. If you're ever in the Capitol, you can always come to Gloss and I. We have to come every year so you won't miss us."

"Thanks," I say. I find it a little weird that she's giving me advice and comforting me but… I'll take it anyway.

She shoves my shoulder, not enough to hurt, and says, "Now get lost. You have an interview tonight."

I allow myself to go back to my cocky Capitol self and grin. "Don't miss me too much."

Once again, I'm scrubbed, waxed, rubbed and prodded at by my prep team. This time, I'm dressed in an ordinary, white V-neck shirt, with and sea green blazer that has been rolled up to my elbows, along with some black skinny jeans. Thank God, the Capitol does in fact, have normal clothes.

According to Mags, my so-called bonding with Cashmere has brought me a little out of my shell. Apparently, it's her specialty, but who am I to question it?

Throughout the entire interview, I flirt, wink and act charming. It isn't as hard anymore - I've grown used to it. Most of the questions are simple and easy to answer. What was running through the bloodbath… if you could call it a bloodbath, that is? What was it like to know that you've won?

"How do you… feel about Maya?" Caesar asks me, curiously. And to think that I was hoping to avoid this subject…

I swallow nervously and clasp my hands together. "Well… Of course, I love her. She meant the world to me and still does. I just hope she's in a better place now." I stop myself. I know that if I continue, I'll end up rambling and crying, and of course, that's an extremely petty sight for the world to see.

"Ah," he nods pitifully. "It's a shame. She loved you so much… You would have made such a fantastic couple, don't you think?"

I feel my eyes bulging at this. "What?!" I explode. "We-We're not… Maya and I- We're… I mean…"

Caesars laughs good-naturedly and says, "Didn't you notice that she was in love with you?"

I freeze in my spot and my jaw drops a little. "W-what?" I stutter. My eyes drift to where the Victors sit. Cashmere isn't there but her brother is. He looks at me with pity, evident in his eyes, as do Mags and Shelley.

"I'm sorry, Finnick," he apologises. "I thought you knew."

I shake my head, "I didn't…"

I assume that he notices my discomfort and he announces, "Well, that's all for today! Once again, give it up for Finnick Odair, Victor of the 65th Annual Hunger Games."

The crowd roars again but I'm numb. I barely notice that my own feet are carrying myself offstage and I almost collapse against a wall.

How did I not know?


A/N: Bet you didn't see that coming, eh? ;) I hope this chapter was okay. Please review your thoughts! They really do encourage to write more :)