As Kate slowly opened her eyes, she caught sight Alexis curled up on the end of the couch which brought a smile to her face. "Hey" she directed towards Alexis, her voice still raspy from sleeping.

'Kate's awake, Dad." Alexis called out.

"Well, Detective, welcome back. Are you hungry?" Castle called from the kitchen.

Crawling out of the nest with Alexis' support, Kate verbalized softly, "thanks, love," as they headed to the kitchen with their arms intertwined, "let's see what Chef Rick has created", she winked at her companion.

Interrupting his cooking, Castle reached over and gave Kate a kiss. "Better?"

Kate met his eyes "Think so, still trying to wake up." Castle's eyes narrowed, trying to ascertain if she was being truthful, and seeing no obvious signs to the contrary, he returned to cooking.

After dinner, Martha and Alexis cleaned the kitchen, while Kate and Castle retired to the living room.

"Big day, my friend. You did really well today, I'm proud of you", Castle said, rubbing his fingers over her jaw line.

"Thanks, it turned out differently than I had hoped, but..." Clearly disappointed, Kate shrugged and looked down not quite sure what else to say.

"Kate, why don't we talk about my plan. Are you ready?" Grinning, Castle was anxious to share, his face glowing with excitement.

Kate was a little more reticent, but nodded affirmatively.

"The house has everything we need and then some. All we have to do is pack our clothes and any toys we want. Easy, right?"

"Hold on, cowboy. It isn't that simple! What about my apartment? My bills? My responsibilities? I can't just walk away from everything. I won't be working for three months...three months. Where am I... " , words alluded Kate as fear of what the future might bring overtook her.

"Calm down, I have thought about all of that, just listen."

Kate's frown only deepened and her stomach flipped as she dreaded what he was about to say.

"I love you, Kate. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I..."

"Rick, stop right there. It's not that easy, there is still so much we have to work on. Emotionally I'm still a wreck., I...", Kate's voice vibrated with panic.

"Shhh," Castle placed his fingers on her lips, "We can do this, do you love me?"

"You know I do, but..." The expression on his face was so sincere and trusting which caused her heart to tighten and she couldn't lie to him one more minute.

"Rick, there is something I have to tell you", her voice catching, she was terrified that he would end up hating her and tears formed in her eyes, but she had to continue. He deserved the truth. "I...I lied to you." Finally, she had admitted it. Kate looked down at her hands, afraid to look into his eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Castle demanded.

"Last summer, at the cemetery, I remember everything; the sound of the shot, you trying to push me away, the pain and burning as the bullet hit me", as she relived that fateful day her hand instinctively went to her chest. "Each word you said to me is etched in my mind." Taking a deep breath, biting her lip, she stared into his eyes and then a sob caught in her throat as she strained to continue, "You said 'Kate, shhh. Stay with me, Kate. Don't leave me please. Stay with me, Ok? Kate, I love you. I love you Kate' then your eyes begging me to stay as your tears fell on my face and everything faded." Her last words came out in a tortured whisper and her body began to tremble. She raised her eyes to meet his, she feared she would see outrage and disdain on his face, but for once, Kate could not read his face.

"Why did you lie to me?" his voice was calm, but hard.

"Castle, I'm no good at this, you know that. You told me, that night in my apartment, that I hide in no where relationships with men I don't love. I keep myself walled off from everyone important to me, afraid of getting hurt. I've used my mother's murder to hide from the world. I let her murder define me, drive me." She halted momentarily, took a deep breathe and began again.

"I'm still dealing with the aftermath of the shooting, still haunted by nightmares. You saw what happened to me on the sniper case, and while Dr. Burke and I continue to work on this, I never let myself believe you really loved me. I had fallen in love with you long before the shooting, but I just couldn't admit it. Rick, I" She stopped speaking, reacting as Castle got up from the couch.

He walked to the window, leaning on the sill he looked out over the city. His silence broke her resolve, and Kate truly feared she had gambled and lost. When faced with the truth, he just couldn't forgive her. She rose from the confines of her nest and her body swayed, laden with despair. Kate felt totally drained physically, and was now drowning in the emotional upheaval. She had to leave while she still could, and setting her jaw, she started to moved slowly. Looking over, she saw Martha and Alexis with tears in their eyes. "I'm sorry", she mouthed the words and looked down with shame as she continued her walk. Alexis started to move towards Kate, but her grandmother stopped her. "This is something they have to handle, my dear." The door seemed miles away, yet somehow she reached her goal and tried to open it. A hand prevented it from opening and Castle's voice cut through her fog, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Not sure, I was just leaving," her voice filled with regret and trepidation. This man had infiltrated ever part of her life and the thought of losing him was unbearable.

Castle's arms encircled her waist. He buried his head in her hair and whispered "You realize you don't have any shoes on, right?"

Looking down, she saw her bare feet and she shook her head in disbelief.

Turning Kate to face him, Castle was struck at how completely fragile she was. He raised her face so he could look into her eyes.

"Kate, I knew you were lying, I just wasn't sure why. Am I happy that you lied to me -,absolutely not, - but that was a different time and we were different people. You're not going anywhere, Kate Beckett, I won't let you. We're in this together, now and forever." His lips touched hers softly, communicating his pledge. With this kiss, Kate collapsed in his arms with relief and no longer able to hold back the tears, Castle swept her into his arms and headed towards the bedroom.

After watching Kate's tortured confession and attempted departure, Martha and Alexis had remained silent as they feared the worst. Carrying Kate past them, they both breathed a sigh of relief, and knew that everything would be okay.

Once in the bedroom, Castle placed Kate on the bed, and held her until her sobs had finally diminished. He gently undressed her, climbed into bed next to her and gently placed the covers around them, pulling her whimpering body into his. As he stroked her body in an effort to soothe her, he spoke into her ear, "Kate, we're survivors, we'll get through this."

"Forgive me?" Kate stammered.

"Of course I do. You're exhausted and still sick."

"Stay with me", she whispered, barely audible as she fell asleep.

Once Castle was sure she wouldn't stir, he returned to the living room. Seeing him, Martha and Alexis jumped up and ran to hug him.

Martha was the first to speak. "My God, that poor child. She has suffered so much. Richard, what can we do?"

"Kate needs rest and time to heal. Today's events have taken a toll on her and I want to see Dr Burke in the morning, before she and I see him together. Can either of you stay with her. I don't want her to be alone?"

"Of course, darling. Now are you going to share your plan with us?"

"I have to tell Kate first. This may be tough, but I think my Castle charm can sell it", a smirk spread across his face, and with that he said goodnight.

It was the middle of the night, when Kate was awakened by the pain. Unable to sleep, her mind started spinning with what had transpired. Getting up gently, she wrapped Castle's robe around her. Her fever was up again, her head was pounding and her side screaming in pain as she shuffled into the living room, heading straight to her nest.

What was she going to do? Before her confession, Castle had started explaining his plan. Give up her apartment? What would she do for money? He had said they would be together forever, but how? The questions kept forming and the answers were notably absent. She ran her hands through her hair, and then covered her face. Kate felt so horrible she couldn't think straight, and tears glistened in her eyes. Well, badass Detective, what are you going to do now? She pondered before her thoughts were interrupted as Castle slid next to her.

"Hi, what's up?" as he pulled Kate into his arms.

"Not sure…" she shrugged.

"Kate, everything is out of sync, but it will get clearer in time. I'm tired, lets go back to bed." His sleepy face won her over and smiling she sighed, "Okay, help me up?"

"Uh-huh," standing up, he had her in his arms before she could protest.

Waking in the morning, Kate realized she was alone. Crawling out of bed, she threw some sweat pants on and went in search of the family. In the kitchen, Martha was pouring coffee and talking to Alexis about their plans for the day.

"Morning Ladies." Kate announced as she entered the kitchen. Both women came and wrapped their arms round her,

"We love you, Kate", Martha and Alexis simultaneously said, starting tears flowing from all three.

"I'm so sorry for what I put you through, I know lying has hurt all of us. I'll make it right. I promise..."

"Shhh, Kate, there is nothing to apologize for. You belong with us, never doubt that"

They were still in a mutual hug when Castle strolled into the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks when he saw them. Wow, my favorite women in a giant hug.

As the three faces turned to him, he saw the remnants of tears on their faces as well as the prolonged look of anguish on Kate's face. Walking over he joined in the hug, kissing all three, and then announcing "I'm hungry who wants pancakes?"

Martha recovered first, "All of us, so get busy. Kate needs her coffee."

"What about me?" he whined.

Waving her hands, Martha shot back, "You're a big boy. Get your own."

Wrapping her arm around Kate, Martha understood her need to regain composure and guided her towards the coffee pot. As she poured her coffee, Kate leaned in and kissed her cheek, whispering "Thank you, Martha."

Squeezing her arm, she turned back to Castle, "Now Richard, if you want coffee there it is."

During breakfast, they planned out their day. Castle had an appointment he needed to keep. Martha said she was going to work on refining her one woman show and Alexis was home working on a project for her business class. As they painstakingly outlined their schedule for the day, a slow grateful smile spread on Kate's face. She may not be one hundred per cent, but she could tell a fabrication when she heard it. It was obvious that the root of this discussion was to keep an eye on her and she was touched they were, and had to admit she was glad for the company.

Kate rose and started clearing the table when Alexis stopped her, "Oh no," Alexis said, that's my job."

"But, I can..."

"No way, I'll be done in a few minutes"

Sensing Kate's frustration, Castle interrupted, "No offense, but you're likely to take so long, lunch could be delayed and you know how I like to eat on schedule."

"Very funny, ha,ha", Kate came back, waving a finger in his face.

Grabbing her waving hand, he opened her palm and kissed it.

"What was that for?" She asked, removing her hand from his grasp.

You waving that finger at me was adorable, I couldn't resist."

Kate gave Castle an eye roll, bringing a smile to his face. Glimpses of his Kate beginning to re-appear sent chills down his spine.

Castle and Kate returned to the bedroom to clean up. After a prolonged mutual washing, they exited and started drying each other. Astutely, he noticed Kate s hands were shaking so he gently took her towel saying, "Here let me finish, you sit down."

"No, Rick, I can do this." the frustration apparent in her tone.

"Let me, I love this part."

Castle became lost in his task, and his expression emitted such love that Kate leaned in and kissed him passionately. She pulled away, raised an eyebrow seductively and asked, "Any chance for a little...?"

"As much as it pains me to say it, Dr Steiner said no hard exercise for a while and believe me my dear, when we resume, it will be rough and tumble. So, for now, we are restricted to kissing only."

While Kate understood the situation, her displeasure was evident. "Ok, but know when we get the green light you will need all, and I mean all, your strength, understand Writer boy?"

"Oh, yes I do, and believe me I will be ready", he confirmed, bringing her to her feet, "It's time to get dressed, you're getting cold."

"Only on the outside", she murmured huskily, running her hands through his hair, "in here", touching her chest and looking deep into his eyes, "it's an inferno."

As they left the bedroom, Castle watched Kate, noticing her face had paled, and her eyes were bright. He placed his hand on her forehead, "You're hot."

"You have no idea", as she attempted to sidestep his inquiry and make light of her condition.

"Remember, no hiding. How do you feel?"

"Maybe a little rocky, but I'll be fine," she answered as honestly as she could.

"Why not climb into your nest and I'll get some medicine."

"Really, do I have..."

"Kate, what did Steve say?"

"Alright, fine - bring them on. In fact the more the merrier!" Waving her arms weakly, she made light of her predicament.

Once she was settled, Castle delivered her pills. "Kate, I need to go to my appointment, I shouldn't be longer than a couple of hours. Mother and Alexis are here if you need something, and no getting frisky, understand?"

"If only I could!" she groused.

"Seriously, they'll get you anything you want."

"I know, I know, they take very good care of me."

"Here's the book you've been reading, your phone, a fresh drink, anything else you can think of?"

"Nope, that about covers it." Shaking her head, Kate chuckled, "Hey, Castle if the book flops you could always get a job as a butler?"

Castle leaned in, rubbed his nose to hers and responded, "I'm not sure anyone could match your benefit package."

"Leave already, I'm fine," her eyes began to close as the medicine took over, "but hurry back mmmkay."

Xxxxxxxxxxooooooo page break? – Yep, definitely!

As Castle entered the room, Dr Burke stood and extended his arm. "Rick Castle, at last we meet, though I feel I know you already."

"Dr Burke, thanks for seeing me. I realize Kate and I have an appointment with you tomorrow, but I had some preliminary questions and items I want your opinion on."

"Of course, may I call you Rick?"

"Absolutely, Kate speaks very highly of you. She respects your input, for which I grateful. May I start?" With an affirmative nod from the psychiatrist, he began. "A few weeks ago, one of our friends after a sudden, but brutal illness, died. This threw Kate into a panic and she suddenly confessed that she loved me and we've been in a relationship ever since. Then, while I was on a business trip, Kate exhausted herself on a case, becoming so ill she almost died."

"That must've been hard on you", Dr Burke interjected

"It was terrifying. I've seen her die once and come back. I'm not sure I could survive it again, "the emotion of the memory overtook Castle.

"Yesterday she confessed that she had lied from the beginning, she remembered everything about her shooting. I knew she had been lying, but didn't push her."

"How did she do?"

"It was heartbreaking seeing her struggle through that. It's funny, I understood why she lied, but I was still a little pissed. I mean, I have plenty of issues myself having two failed marriages behind me. I'm not sure I'm a good risk, but I want to give it my best shot. I believe we will get through this."

Neither spoke for a moment, and Dr Burke waited patiently for Castle to continue. He went down his list; Kate's walls, PTSD, how to support to Kate, what he was hiding from Kate about her mother's murder and his plan for her recovery. Dr. Burke explained each item with suggestions to assist Castle, all without over-stepping the line of confidentially.

"Does Kate know about all of these items?"

"No and I'm afraid of her reaction. She is so vulnerable and I'm afraid if I push her, she'll go over the edge. She's kicked me out before. I want our relationship to get stronger, her to get stronger, and then I'll tell her."

Dr Burke listened, "I must admit you may be right, but before you return from the Hampton's she deserves to know everything."

Castle nodded, agreeing with the doctor. The hour flew by and soon they were saying goodbye.

"Rick, Kate needs a warm and loving environment where she can feel safe to be able to keep the walls from returning. She's afraid of being deserted and having her heart broken, you know that, right?"

Nodding his head in affirmation, Castle looked into the doctor's eyes, "I'll keep her safe."

"Rick does Kate know you came here today? You need to tell her, you have to start by being honest, right?"

"I'll tell her today. One more thing, I'm planning on asking Kate to make our relationship more permanent", and then he laid out his entire plan.

"Beautiful Rick, although you may have problems convincing her."

"Any hints?"

"Be certain you want this. Remember Kate is the original one and done woman."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO – Page Break Me

Arriving back at the loft with arms full of food, Castle started to call out when Alexis turned, placed her fingers to her lips and motioned towards the sleeping Kate.

Entering the living room, he gave Alexis a peck on her head, "how did it go?"

"Pretty good, I helped her to the bathroom once, she's pretty unsteady with the drugs on board. Dad, she's still upset about lying to everyone. I tried to tell her it will be okay, but she's terrified of losing you."

"Pumpkin, we'll make it right. You know, I never checked with you about Kate and I being together. Are you okay with us? I know this all happened so fast."

"Dad, she is perfect for you, - beautiful, sexy, funny, smart, tough and she loves me." She smiled smugly. "I also happen to adore her."

Giving his daughter a big hug, he moved to sit next to Kate's sleeping body.

"Hey gorgeous, I'm back." he murmured to her, as he gently rubbed her arm.

Opening her eyes, she was busy blinking trying to get the fog to pass. "Hi, I missed you." She crawled up into his lap and snuggled into him.

"I bought Italian, interested?"

"Give me a minute."

"Stay there we'll bring it to you, lunch in the nest."

"OK," she conceded easily.

Castle squinted at Kate, surprised she had given in so quickly. Don't make a big deal of it, she'll be ok, he thought, trying to be calm.

Kate read his look, "Relax, Rick, I'm not a porcelain doll, just a little tired."

Smiling up at him, she said "let's eat."

After lunch, Rick asked, "Kate you ready to get to the details of the plan we started discussing yesterday, before you so rudely interrupted."

Kate groaned, this could be painful.

"So, I said I wanted us to be together forever, starting with the house in the Hamptons, and then you lost it."

"That's it!" His cavalier attitude was getting under her skin.

"Wait, I'm just pulling your leg. Seriously, I do want us to be together, I want you to move in with me. You can sublet your apartment, and let me take care of you."

Kate's face turned dark and her eyes had the color of coal. "You expect me to give up my place? My stuff. To be kept by you?" Her finger was poking in his chest, "That's not happening, I won't be kept by you or anyone, not ever. You must have lost your mind." The more she spoke, the angrier she became. Attempting to move, she stated emphatically "I'm so out of here!" as she clutched her side. But she couldn't get up. Damn it not now.

Sensing that words would not calm her down, he pulled her to him and drove his lips into hers. Initially she resisted his kiss, but finally succumbed to his passion. Gradually he let her go, just hanging on to her shoulders, and knowing he had barely averted disaster, he restarted.

"I messed that up. Let me try again. Firstly, some of my money is from the sales of Nikki Heat books, and without you, there would be no story. You're as entitled to that money as I am. Secondly, I want to help you in any and every way I can. You're my life partner, always, do you understand?"

"God, Rick, there is still so much to work out."

"The only important question is do you want to be with me, want to be part of my family, yes or no?"

"Yes", without hesitation.

"Then we'll work everything else out as it comes up. Kate, since you're already a little pissed at me you need to know I talked to Dr Burke today."

"I thought we were seeing him tomorrow?"

"Yes we are, but there were things I wanted to talk about before." The next few minutes Castle told Kate everything they had talked about, except his secret.

Previously, Kate would have been enraged, but these were different times, and she understood that he had done this out of love. Sighing, she stretched her back and her hands went to her head, "Rick, I'm really tired."

"How's the side?" She must really be hurting to admit this openly, he considered.

"It's talking to me, and it's not happy. When did I become such a wimp?" She wondered out loud, tears filling her eyes. Rick silently handed her some pills, which she swallowed, then she continued.

"Rick, after we see Dr Burke, let's go to my apartment and begin sorting through things. I have to decide what I'm taking with me. I'll need some help, and I need to tell my Dad, what's happened. Will you go with me?"

"Of course", secretly he was thrilled with her admission, but kept it to himself, "Do you want to go lay down on the bed?"

"No, I'm good right here."

Castle retrieved his computer, put on some mellow music and returned to the opposite end of the couch. Opening up the computer, he thought about writing, but looked at Kate instead. She seemed to be having trouble getting comfortable, trying to turn, but unable to complete the task and a soft moan escaped. Getting up, he went and carefully turned her on her good side and tucked pillows behind her back. As he kissed on her neck, her face began to soften, indicating she was settling in

Thinking she was asleep, he spoke into her hair, "Kate, I love you, it will be good, you'll see."

As he started to back away, a hand prevented his retreat, "Rick, I trust you", she murmured smiling as sleep overtook her.