Side Effects

Mary spent the first week after her world was shattered just trying to keep breathing. She scrubbed and scoured and organized her home. She found that the monotonous work of cleaning brought a sense of calm to her spirit. Bringing order to her home slowly brought order to her mind. David kept sending flowers, but she refused to accept them and paid the delivery man to take them and distribute them to patients at the hospital. She left his phone calls unreturned.

The second week she spent mostly in her pajamas, reading and watching movies. The problem with that was her mind kept wandering to David. Somehow she saw bits and pieces of him in all the stories, no matter what books or videos she chose. She had to get him out of her mind, and she was getting low on groceries, so on the third week she decided to venture out. She was surprised how good it felt to get out of her loft. The first signs of Spring were pushing away the cold Maine winter, and melting her heart with it. She spent time wandering through downtown museums, doing a little shopping therapy, and taking leisurely walks in the park. She began to slowly feel the pain of despair loosen its grip on her. The heartbreak was still there. She still experienced moments where it was so heavy on her heart she couldn't breathe, but those moments were now interspersed with moments where if she breathed deep enough she could actually smell hope in the air.

On Friday morning of the third week she exited her apartment to find David casually leaning against the streetlight outside her building. Her first thought was how good he looked standing there, her second was how much she missed him. She tried to steel her expression, hoping he wouldn't see how much he still affected her. Sometimes, when she let her mind go there, she thought about how quickly he had become her best friend. He was the first person in a very long time that she had felt comfortable enough with to share about her mother's death and subsequent lonely childhood. When she was with him the connection was so strong. Like they truly were kindred spirits. But it was also that connection that scared her. She had never crossed over into physical intimacy in a relationship so fast and recklessly before. She had been unable to resist the magnetic pull he had on her. That pull had allowed her instincts to fail her, so that she had been unable to tell he was lying to her. She had failed to protect her heart. It was why she was determined to not let him in again. But just looking at him standing there, she already felt weak.

"David, what are you doing here?"

"Hoping to talk you into having hot chocolate with me this morning."

Mary looked at him, tears shinning in her eyes, "I can't."

"Please, it just hot chocolate. I promise. I just want to talk to you, I need to know that you're all right."

Anger sparked within her and when she answered her voice was tinged with sarcasm. "Well thank you for needing to know that I'm all right. Too bad your concern is just a little late."

Mary attempted to walk away, but he stepped in front of her. The look on his face was one of anguish and desperation. Her words had succeeded in the hurt she had intended.

"Mary, please! I'm begging you. There's got to be something I can do."

There was a moment of pained silence between them before David found his voice again. "I miss you."

She tried to tell herself that the hurt on his face should make her feel good. That she should take pleasure in his misery, but revenge had never been her style. In the back of her mind she knew that the only way she could completely move on for herself was through forgiveness. Maybe they could be friends. The pull sucked her back in.

"I miss you too," she whispered.

He reached his hand out to grab hers, "then let me buy you a hot chocolate." She hesitated, but he could sense her desire to give in. He gave her a hopeful smile. "As friends if that's all you want."

Damn that smile.

"As friends, and I'm buying my own hot chocolate." His smile increased, if that was even possible, as he did a little happy dance. Mary Margaret laughed out loud. It was the first time she had laughed in almost three weeks.

The following Monday started with Mary Margaret on the bathroom floor, emptying the contents of her stomach. She flushed the toilet and leaned back against the tub. Her eyes closed as she tried to fend off the nausea that had plaguing her for several days now. She finally managed to get to her feet and make it to the sink. She cursed under her breath while brushing her teeth. This was the worst time in the world for her to get a stomach bug. She had an interview today at an elementary school across town. She was so hopeful and excited. She really missed her students. Getting back to teaching would be a big step forward in the healing process. She forced herself to go get dressed. She was not missing this opportunity.

As soon as David got to work that Monday morning, he was told he was needed in interrogation. He entered the room to find Kathryn sitting at the table. "What are you doing here? I told you it was over between us." He was still so angry at her for creating the scene that had led to Mary Margaret's dismissal.

"Calm down, David. I'm here on official business. You're the arresting officer in a new case I'm taking on."

"You could have just phoned me."

"Look David, I know you think you have a right to be mad at me, but need I remind you that you're the one who cheated on me."

"No, you don't need to remind me. I know I screwed up and I'm living with the guilt and consequences every day. Mary Margaret is finally talking to me again and I'm not doing anything to mess that up"

Kathryn crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, "Well, how nice for you!" her voice dripped with sarcasm. "But that really doesn't matter. We both work and interact with the same people. In case you forgot, I still work for your father. We are going to have to learn to work together. I'm not risking my career because of your philandering. You owe me."

"Okay, I give. But the only conversations I'm willing to have with you will be professional in nature."

Kathryn nodded her head, but inside she was smiling. David agreeing to talk to her again was the first step in winning him back.

Several days later, David was sitting across from Mary Margaret listening to her excitedly tell him about her interview. She thought it had gone really well and that they had liked her. His phone vibrated on the table, interrupting her mid-sentence. Kathryn's face lit up on the screen. David was paralyzed. He wanted to throw the phone through the window.

"It's okay, you can answer it," Mary said, as she moved to get up. "I need to get going anyway."

He reached to stop her. "No, it can wait. It's just about work, I promise. She's defending a perp I arrested. Believe me, it's the only reason I would talk to her, but I'm off duty right now so she can wait." He prayed his explanation was enough for her.

Suddenly, without a word, she bolted from the booth and rushed to the bathroom. David kicked himself. He should have told her earlier that they were working together. When she returned to the table he observed that she was noticeably pale, which for her was saying something. He assumed that it was a reaction to Kathryn's phone call.

"Mary Margaret, I promise that we are not together. Any contact we have is purely professional. We will never be back together!"

Mary sat there with her hand over her mouth. She didn't answer him. She couldn't answer him to be honest. It took several minutes before she felt safe enough to remove her hand from her mouth.

"David, you don't owe me and explanation. We're just friends, remember? You can talk to whomever you want, whenever you want.

He would have been disappointed to hear her say they were just friends if he were able to focus on anything but how she appeared about to faint. "Are you okay? You don't look so good."

"Gee thanks!" She said, trying to inject some humor into her voice and failing miserably.

"I'm serious Mary Margaret," He handed her some water. She took a small sip.

"I'm fine, I'm just having a little trouble kicking a stomach bug."

"How long have you been sick?"

Mary tried to think back. She wasn't really sure. "A week, I think, maybe two. I'm sure it's just stress over everything. Hopefully, if I get this job things can go back to normal. It's not that bad really. I don't feel sick all the time, just mostly in the..." Mary stopped talking as her brain processed what she had been about to say. Her face turned even whiter than before it that was possible.

David was distraught at the thought that this whole situation had possibly affected her health and he was responsible. "Mary, I think maybe you should see a doctor."

She never even looked at him, just mumbled something about having to go, as she hurriedly jumped up and raced from the cafe, leaving a startled and confused David behind. She basically ran all the way to the corner drugstore, quickly making her purchases, then continuing on to her apartment. She was so distracted that she never noticed the man following behind her, observing everything. As soon as she had disappeared into her building he took out his phone and dialed.

"Mr. Nolan, I've been keeping an eye on that teacher like you asked and I have some information I think you'll be very interested in.