A.N. I don't know what I was going to write on this author's note. *contemplates*
Oh and no one commented on Armas spelling denial wrong when she spelled it out loud. I laughed over that for days .
i-i
I didn't see Spock again for a few days after that. It surprises me how much I was seeing of him, when before that stupid test, I didn't even know he existed. I was probably just following him everywhere on accident. No wonder he didn't like me.
Armas is sitting across from me, eating her lunch, not commenting on things like she usually does. Like me, she's been very quiet since we left Spock's room.
Without paying attention, I take a sip of my drink, grimace, look down at my glass and softly say, "Is it Wednesday already?" Armas laughs a little, but we fall silent again.
Why couldn't he like me? I'm not ugly. I have a nice personality. I'm funny. Well, I think I'm funny. I'm one of those 'laughs at her own jokes' people.
"Hey," Armas says quietly. I look up, pushing my tuber roots around on my plate. "You like him, don't you."
Before that second, I didn't even know what I felt, but now I knew. I don't just like him. I love him. But I can't get that out after my tears start, so I settle for a sob and shake my head.
Armas's forehead wrinkles up and her face softens. "Oh god…you love him, baby."
I nod. In two seconds, my nose is filled with the scent of her hair, and I feel her strong embrace. My face is raining with tears and Armas croons over me, stroking my long brown hair.
"Cadet Fairgrass."
We both emerge from the hug and look up to see the man of the hour, completely blank of emotion. Armas doesn't move from her spot on my lap and stares him down.
"What do you want, Commander."
I pinch her for the inflection.
"I would like to speak to Cadet Fairgrass alone."
Armas makes an angry noise. "Oh for god's sake, she saw you in your fucking underwear. Quit being so damn formal!"
I push her off and follow Spock to an empty corridor. He starts to fidget with his uniform jacket before opening his mouth.
"Cadet-….Grace," he says. I smile inwardly, but keep my face straight. "I apologize for the incident in my quarters. Please do not misunderstand my actions. They were purely…." He swallows and I can tell he doesn't like what he's saying.
I hold out my hand to stop him. "Save it, Commander. I know I'm a blundering idiot girl who annoys you and you don't like me. You probably think I just have some schoolgirl crush on you and that's why I keep popping up and bugging you. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't think so less of me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a man who gives a shit about me."
I turn on my heels and start to walk away. Before I get three steps, Spock's hand grabs my elbow and he tugs me into an empty classroom.
"What the fuck are you-"
Spock's face silences me. He's angry. Oh gods in heaven, stop looking at me like that. Your face could melt gold bricks, cut it out.
He places three fingers on my face: forehead, nose and chin. What is he-
My mind goes white and all I see is me. Me smiling. Me laughing. Me angry. Me tossing my hair. Me showing my underwear. Me making jokes. Me. Me. Me.
I'm tossed back into my own head with a gasp and I double over, collapsing on the floor.
Oh my god. He did the Vulcan mind meld. I heave and gasp for breath, trying to process everything he left in me. Residual emotions, god they weren't kidding.
I feel love for Vulcan. Love for Star Fleet. Love for Spock's mother. Rebellious against the council of Vulcans. Proud of his officer test. Angry at the children who bullied him.
Love for me.
I slowly look up at him staring down at me. He knows what I've found. He wanted me to find it. Blinding passion for me. Romantic feelings for me. Powerful unhinging love, for Grace Fairgrass. Me, the blundering idiot who trips all the damn time.
Spock is breathing as hard as I am, and knowing what I now know, it's because he's trying to keep his hands off me. "Do not presume that I care nothing for you, Grace. You are my entire world."
Then I feel something else. Regret. He's a teacher, I'm a student. Loving me is inappropriate conduct. My face changes and he again knows what I've felt. I start to get up, even though I felt so damn sexy on the floor while he was staring down at me.
Stupid damn school. I'd love to make faces frown and break the rules.
"No, Grace." I look up in confusion. "No rules will be broken." My eyebrows raise. Hell. Now he can read my thoughts. "A temporary side effect of the mind meld," he explains.
Well, good thing it's temporary. I won't have to be afraid he'll hear me thinking about his cock later. My eyes widen. Oops.
He closes his eyes. "Please do not test my control, Grace."
"Don't give me leave to challenge you, then. I'd love to test your control and win." Wait…am I spouting sonnets now? I need a drink….
i-i
Three hours later found me in my dorm room, chugging Armas's stash of Cardassian wine. I put on all of her make-up, one of her sexiest dresses, which wasn't big enough in the boob area for me, and curled my boring hair into something that resembled a rat's nest. Also, I was drunkenly singing jazz music.
I don't hear the lift door opening while belting out, "YOU MUSTA BEEN A BOO-DIFUL BAAAAYY-BEEEEE *hiccup* YOU MUSTA BEEN A BOO-DIFUL…KIIIID!" I take another swig, forgiving myself for forgetting the words. Armas's purse chinkles when it hits the floor, so I turn to greet her, splashing her with the wine. "ARMAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS! HOW ARE YOU, SEXY THAAANG?"
Unlike her normal self, which would've grabbed the wine and joined in, she grabs the wine and shoves it into the replicator, where it promptly disappears.
"Grace, what's going on?" Her face is reproachful. Great, another person judging my actions.
"Whaddare you, my mother? My head hurts…" True to myself, I walk backwards and trip with a flop onto my bed. "Oooo, look at the ceiling, Armaaaasssss!"
She roughly grabs my hands, pulling me to a standing position, and slaps me so hard, even a stoic Vulcan would've howled in pain. I smack my lips a few times, furrowing my eyebrows as my eyes adjust and Armas comes into focus.
"Is that the normal cure for a hangover?" I say while rubbing my eye.
"No, it's Armas's special cure. Grace, what the hell? You have five seconds to explain before I march up to Commander Asshole's door, strip him butt naked, and tie him to the statue outside." She crosses her arms, once again showing off her amazing rack of C's and gives me a look that says she means business.
"Alright alright." I sit down on my bed again, running a hand through my tangled mass of hair. "Spock rejected me." Armas starts to comment, so I stop her. "He showed me that he loved him, and then he said, 'No rules shall be broken.'" Armas giggles at my impression of Spock. "The whole time he acted like he was two seconds away from ripping my clothes off. And then he left." I sigh. "Then Mr. Wine asked me out on a date, and I said yes."
"Ah, and you dressed for the occasion as well, I see." I flash her a goofy grin, jiggling my DD's. "I was trying to get you to date men, not bottles of booze."
"Eh, what's the difference? They'll both cheat on me with my roommate."
Armas's face slowly changes from reproachful to amused. "Then I'll get my own booze. Anything that cheats on you gets broken." She nudges me and walks over to the replicator.
I pass out.
i-i
