Okay, so this is my first attempt at an EPOV. It's just a little quickie. Heh, a quickie with Edward. Okay, mind out of the gutter. I hope it's not too...overdone? I don't know. Let me know what you think. There may be a couple opportunities before the story is done to see through his eyes again.
I'd REALLY like to own Edward. But alas, I don't. Or the others. And that totally blows.
EPOV
Had I been wrong about her? She was hard to read, I admit it. But there was something there. I just know it. I could tell from the first time I locked eyes with her, after having caught her spying on me while I practiced my guitar. I looked down into those big, brown doe eyes and that was it. I didn't know her name, who she was, why she was staring at me. But I wanted to know. No. I needed to know. And somehow, she'd let me learn about her.
At the diner, I couldn't stop watching her. Her face lit up when she talked about some things. When her frown pulled her eyebrows together, bringing a little crease between those perfect arches, it took all my strength to not reach across and try to soothe it with my thumb, just to be able to soothe her in any way I could.
And the night of the bonfire. Oh, that night had been magical. The sex was amazing. The best I've ever had, without a doubt. But that wasn't even my favorite part of the evening. It was learning about her. The little things. That stupid game had her telling us her little quirks, all the little tidbits that people don't think to talk about with others. Her favorite food was cold cereal. She was a crazed teeny-bopper in middle school, swooning over the Backstreet Boys and N'SYNC. She cried when her first goldfish died and made her parents help bury him in the backyard; she then refused to ever get another pet for fear of losing it. She didn't like to eat foods shaped like living creatures (Teddy Grahams, for example. She said they were just too cute). She thought people who said "catsup" were pretentious.
Every little fact she revealed about herself, I tucked away. The more I learned, the more I wanted to know. I was like a junkie. Craving another hit. I was addicted to Bella.
The next best part of the night had been laying with her, after she'd fallen asleep. Nestled against me, she seemed so open, so vulnerable. It made my heart swell to think that she trusted me enough to be that way with me. That she could be so trusting of me only cemented in my mind what was floating around in there the entire night. I was, without a doubt, in love with her.
It made me want to sing. It made me want to dance. I wanted the world to know. But Bella was there, in my arms, asleep. So I simply kissed the top of her head and whispered my love to her.
I agonized over telling her. It was crazy, absurd. I'd only just met her. But I knew. I had known the moment our eyes met. But I didn't want to scare her away.
So I didn't tell her.
Because I didn't tell her, she thought I only wanted her for sex. Like she was some...toy. Some play thing for me. I ached inside to tell her how wrong she was, but didn't know how to do it without telling her I loved her. She knew, though. I could see it on her face, feel it in her kiss. Then she smashed my heart into a million pieces.
She didn't want to stay with me. She didn't want me to love her. She didn't want to love me.
Never in my life had I felt so much agony. Bella didn't want my love. She wanted me to let her go.
I did.
I took her home, kissed her head and let her go.
I heard her crying. I heard her packing. I heard her sneak out of the house before everyone else woke up.
And I didn't stop her. I couldn't. She didn't want me to. And it killed me, but I couldn't go against my Bella's wishes.
That was two days ago. Two days since she walked away from me. Two days since I lost the love of my life. Two days since I left my bed.
I knew my mom and Alice were worried. They checked on my constantly. Brought me food I didn't eat. Told me stories I didn't hear. My friends called, but I never answered the phone. I couldn't. They just reminded me of my last night with Bella. My beautiful Bella. I can't remember the last time I cried, but I did cry for her. It hurt so bad to think that she was gone. The tears didn't help, though. Nothing did. I wanted to die. Without her, there was no reason to live.
No one questioned it. My love for her, as ridiculous as it was, made sense to everyone.
I wanted to thank them, but couldn't even bring myself to talk. She left me hollow, broken. I'd be lucky to ever be half the man I was before she walked into my life.
