Part Four: Storm Clouds Gathering, Chapter 1

"That woman gets more impossible with every passing day!" Adam strode angrily towards the buggy, leaving a highly disappointed Abigail Jones in his wake. She wondered exactly where she had gone wrong in her careful planning and was puzzled at Adam's vehement refusal to sing with her at the upcoming church social.

Joe twinkled merrily at Hoss. "And there I was, looking forward to Adam and Abby singing 'Early One Morning' in two part harmony!"

"You wouldn't know two part harmony if it bit you on the nose!" Adam growled. "And I am not singing anything with Miss Jones!"

"I think you make a delightful couple," Hoss said, managing to keep a straight face with a great effort. "Adam and Abby – why, it's as if you were made for one another! And your voices complement one another beautifully."

Adam flung him an offended look and stalked off.

"You really must stop teasing your brother about Miss Jones," Ben said wearily. Abigail had been relentlessly pursued his eldest son for over twelve years and while her dogged determination showed a sense of dedication second to none, it was equally matched by Adam's resolute certainty that the teacher was an infernal menace.

"But Pa," Joe began, then caught the look in his father's eye and subsided rapidly.

Adam walked rapidly, trying to get as much space between himself and the dreaded Abigail. The woman simply did not know when to let go. Normally, he could rise above such annoyances, but lately…. He shook his head in bewilderment. Lately nothing seemed right. He felt trapped and confined.

Ben waited until he and Adam were alone that evening. He knew that something was troubling Adam deeply and had hoped his son would be able to sort things out, but now he knew the situation had developed to the stage where some interference was essential. Adam had been like a bear with a sore head and had practically come to blows when Joe had asked if he would like to ride into town with him the previous evening.

"That's your idea of a good time, is it? Drinking and playing cards in the Silver Dollar?"

"Well, yes." Joe replied, with a bemused look on his face.

"Little brother, don't you ever want to set your horizons just a bit higher? To aim for something that's actually worthwhile?" His tone dripped with sarcasm.

Joe bristled. "I work hard all week, Adam and I enjoy an evening in town. It might not meet your high standards, but that's your problem, not mine." He surveyed his brother closely. "There's something bugging you – we can all see that. But don't take your bad temper out on me."

Hoss saw Adam's hands curl up into fists and he stepped forward with resolute finality, interposing himself between his two brothers.

"Me an' Joe will go into town by ourselves then," he said. "You don't want to come, that's fine Adam. We'll have a good time, don't you worry none." He slung an arm around Joe's shoulders and the two brothers left the room and their seething sibling.

Shaking his head at the memory, Ben studied his eldest son carefully. Discontent shone out from every pore, obscuring his normal good humour and equanimity. There was no doubt about it: Adam was a deeply unhappy man.

"Are we going to talk about this?" he enquired. "Or do you want to keep pretending that there is nothing wrong?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Adam kept his head down and refused to meet his father's eyes.

""Don't lie to me!" Ben's voice rang out loudly, and Adam gave a little start. He sat up straighter and gave his father a sheepish smile.

"Do you remember the time you showed me a bundle of kindling and asked to break it? Then you explained that while a single stick could be broken, it was almost impossible to snap the bundle?"

Ben nodded. He'd used this analogy with each of his sons, finding it an effective demonstration of the strength and power of a united family.

"That's the problem."

The stark statement had an unmistakeable ring of truth about it and a look of shocked surprise spread across Ben's face.

Adam hastened to explain. "Lately, I've been looking at my life, at the man I've become and I don't know if I like him. I'm not an individual, I'm a Cartwright."

"Is that such a dreadful thing to be?"

"No, of course it isn't. I'm proud of who I am, but now I wonder if that is what I want to be. I had so many dreams, when I was at college, so many breakthroughs that could have led to new opportunities, but I packed those away when I came home."

"I didn't realised you felt like that." Ben felt his heart weep for the man who sat before him. "I thought you wanted to come home, to be here with all of us and work on the Ponderosa. I'm so sorry Adam."

Adam smiled. "For a long time, this was the right choice for me. I've had over a dozen happy years, but recently…" It was so difficult to explain, to try to put the thoughts that whirled around in his head into a coherent whole. "Sometimes when I ride out, I don't see the dark green of the pines, the bright yellows and emeralds of the fields – everything just looks grey and drab. I don't belong here, Pa. Not any more."

"You will always belong here," Ben protested. "This will always be your home and there will always be a place for you. But if you feel the need to go away, then that's fine. All I want is what will be best for you."

"I know, Pa. I know." A sense of contentment suffused Adam. It was not too late, was it? He could start afresh and turn his dreams into reality. Ben had inspired all his sons with the example he set them: a man determined to make his own way in the world and to provide for his family. For twelve years, Adam had thought he shared his father's dream, that he could live and work on the Ponderosa and find fulfilment. But now that was no longer enough, it no longer satisfied the craving in his soul to strike out on his own and try to make his own mark on the world.


Adam did not say anything to Hoss and Joe for a few days. He wanted to sort things out in his mind, to formulate a clear plan of action. He rather dreaded how his brothers would react to his news. Eventually, he could put it off no longer.

The brothers were riding out to corral a small herd of horses for Joe would then break and train, ready for sale to the army. This was a lucrative line of business for the Ponderosa, which Joe had developed from a small, ad hoc operation into a flourishing operation. His reputation spread far beyond the Ponderosa, or even Virginia City and the work suited his equestrian skills and his restless, quicksilver nature. Adam took a long, hard look at Joe: now twenty two, his little brother was still the slimmest member of the family, but his build was deceptive, concealing an inner core of long, hard muscles that enabled him to ride for hours at a time or break a string of horses without complaint.

"What are you staring at me like that for?" Joe asked, half-wondering if Adam was going to lash out verbally at him again.

"I'm overwhelmed by your good looks," Adam drawled and batted his eyelashes bashfully at Joe.

"I ain't the one with Abigail Jones running after me!" Joe reminded him, smirking in pleasure at the pained expression this sally produced. "She's always chased after you, hasn't she? For as long as I can remember, Miss Abigail Jones has set her cap at you."

"Don't you mean bonnet?" Hoss asked innocently. The image of Abigail, wearing her latest creation to church sprang into their minds: a bright, virulent shade of blue, the bonnet appeared to be accessorised by a medium sized quail, dyed to match the rest of the trimmings. Their laughter rang out, clear and true as they rode along.

Eventually, Adam knew that he could wait no longer and he explained that he would be going to Sacramento, to see if he could pursue his interest in architecture.

"Iffen that's what it takes to make you happy, you should go," Hoss informed him. "We sure will miss you."

"I have to try this," Adam explained. "To see if the grass really is greener. I need to know."

Joe looked at him sadly. "Aren't you forgetting that you're going to a big city? You won't find many open spaces or green grass, except in the parks. I'd be miserable."

"I know you would be, but this isn't about you Joe, it's about me." Adam tried very hard to be reasonable and patient.

"Of course it's about me! It's about you, and me and Hoss and Pa! What you do affects all of us – can't you see that? You're not an independent agent."

"I never said that," Adam protested. "Surely you wouldn't grudge me the change to explore my options, would you Joe? To see if I'm actually capable of doing something new and different?"

"I always thought you could do anything you put your mind to, Adam. You've always been my big brother, blazing a meteor trail of success. You're the shining star in this family. "

"Don't be daft!" Hoss grabbed Joe by the arm and gave him a little shake. Which, coming from Hoss, nearly unseated his brother. "Sure, Adam's got the book learning, but you ain't stupid, Joe. And you're the best rider in the family. Ever since you were a little 'un, there's not been a horse in Nevada that didn't behave as nice as ninepence when you were on its back. And as for me? Well, maybe I ain't the best looking man in Nevada, or the smartest, but I reckon I'm pretty good with animals and I like my life here. We've all got different talents and it surely would be a sin to deprive Adam of using his."

"I know," Joe conceded miserably. "I just don't want you to go, that's all Adam. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," Adam said softly. "All of you."

It had always been a contradiction in terms: that mercurial Joe, who could never sit still and was forever pushing at boundaries actually hated change of any kind. He needed stability in his life, the reassurance that, come what may, some things would stay constant and true in his life. Whereas Adam, much more phlegmatic and practical by nature, had never been able to subsume his passion to explore new avenues.

"What do you see when you look out here?" Adam asked later that day.

Joe scanned the patchwork of colours spread out before him. "I see the high pastures, where the first shoots of sweet grass will just be pushing out of the ground right around now. Then the forest we planted four years ago – those trees are young and immature, so I can still see the rich earth between each one. It's not yet carpeted with needles, but I know it will be, in a few seasons time. And then there's the grey rock of the mountains. Right now, the sun's shining on them, so they have a golden hue, but later on they'll look purple and pink, maybe even crimson."

"I look out and I see possibilities. Large buildings, soaring up to the sky, where people can live in warmth and comfort, even during the coldest months of the year. Maybe even roads, going along the side of the lake or twisting up into the mountains, so that people can travel safely all year round. That's what I see, Joe. The promise of what could be. And I hope that I cold be the man to make that happen."

The smile on Joe's face was the most melancholy mockery of happiness that Adam had ever seen. It deepened the small, curved indentation at the left-hand side of his mouth. "That's the difference between us, isn't it? What we regard as progress. I look at all this beauty before me and I hope it will never change, that man will never make an indelible mark on the landscape. I think that my best legacy would be to return in a hundred years time and see no change at all. I hope the Ponderosa never changes and stays unspoiled and true. Progress isn't always positive. Sometimes it kills the true beauty of things."

After that, the brothers spoke no more of Adam's hopes and dreams, realising a wide chasm gaped between their very different views of the world, a void that could never be breached.


Joe finished early on the day of the church social, determined to soak in a bath and try to ease some of the aches and pains out of his body. As ever, Hop Sing had gallons of hot water heating on the range and he filled the large tin bath, slipping into it with a sigh of contentment, sliding down so that the warm water caressed his shoulders.

"Dadburnit! That little weasel's beaten us to it, Adam!" Hoss marched in and gave Joe a mock-glare.

"It's the early bird that catches the worm," Joe parried with a winning smile. "Anyway, it's only fair, considering all the years I had to wash in my older brothers dirty bath water." He picked up a tin cup and poured water over his hair, then shook his head vigorously. "Can you leave now, please? I'd like to get washed."

Adam sat down, with every appearance of making himself comfortable for a long stay. "Don't mind us," he advised. "You just go right ahead. It's nothing we've not seem many times before, is it Hoss?"

"Sure isn't," Hoss agreed, also seating himself. "All those times we helped Ma and Pa give our little baby brother a bath."

"All the diapers I changed," Adam reminisced happily.

"That was a long time ago!" Joe protested.

"Ah, but such happy memories!" Adam was really enjoying himself now. "And what a sweet little chap you were too – those golden ringlets falling to your shoulders!"

Joe made a sound that sounded rather like "mmmmp!" and busied himself washing his hair. He tried very hard to ignore his brothers, but they simply would not go away.

Adam regarded Hoss seriously. "Do you remember when Marie tried to train Joe to use the pot?"

Hoss nodded eagerly, but was unable to speak. His entire frame shook with barely suppressed laughter.

Adam leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "It was mid-summer, so she let you run around in your little dresses without a diaper and told you to go outside and… err, answer the call of nature whenever you felt the need. There you were, happy as could be and we thought you were getting the hang of things nicely."

"Then we heard Hop Sing shouting!" Hoss' face was puce and the tears were streaming down his face.

"Oh yes, I'd almost forgotten that," Adam said smoothly.

Joe wondered what dreaded revelation was coming next. He had a sneaking suspicion that his brothers had carefully planned out this line of attack well in advance.

Adam gave him a loving smile. "We rushed outside, to find you in Hop Sings kitchen garden, happily watering his vegetables. Under your own steam, so to speak."

"Peeing on the peas!" Hoss was gasping for air between peals of laughter.

"Get out!" Joe yelled, throwing the tin cup at his aggravating brothers' backs as they ran for cover.

Adam popped his head round the door. "Funnily enough, none of us fancied eating those peas. In fact, I've never felt quite the same about peas ever since."

Hoss joined him. "They sure were a bumper crop too!"

Joe sighed dramatically and ducked his head down under the water.


Strolling confidently into the church hall, Joe knew he cut a dashing figure in new suit of midnight blue, with close fitting pants and short, well-cut jacket. He cast a critical eye at his brothers, wondering if Hoss actually owned a suit with matching pants and jacket or if Adam would ever appear in anything but black.

"Guess I'm the only member of the family with any sartorial elegance!" he thought happily, catching the admiring looks a small group of girls were casting at him. With a charming smile, Joe sauntered across to join them. Soon, girlish giggles were ringing out.

"Ain't Joe just like a peacock? Just look at him in his finery, all puffed up and pleased with himself!" Hoss chortled. He'd never understood why Joe took such pains with his appearance before a dance, or indeed any social occasion, when surely all that was needed was a good wash and some clean clothes?

A look of abject terror spread across Adam's face. "There's that dreadful Abigail Jones, and she's coming straight for me!"

A charitable observer might describe Abigail's dress sense as unusual or distinctive. The inhabitants of Virginia City were used to her little foibles, but she had excelled herself tonight, in a dress of virulent orange, liberally adorned with yellow frills and what appeared to be jade green spangles.

"I feel sick," Adam confided, casting desperately around for a means of escape. Abigail bore down on him, for all the world like a three-masted schooner, her wide skirts brushing helpless onlookers out of her way.

Just as all seemed lost, help came from an unexpected direction. The band struck up a reel and Joe appeared beside Abigail, murmured a few words and then swept her onto the dance-floor. He bestowed a large and gleeful wink upon his elder brother, who was still quaking from the near escape.

"The kid does have his uses!" Adam whispered to Hoss and then swiftly disappeared into the throng in search of a suitable partner. Anyone would do, just as long as he didn't have to dance with Abigail.

Joe whirled Abigail around stylishly, wishing she wouldn't try to sing along with the band. Her voice had a peculiarly penetrating quality. However, it did mean that he was absolved from making polite conversation with her, which was an undoubted benefit.

As the dance finished, Joe dutifully led Abigail to the refreshment table and procured her a glass of punch, before diving back into the crowds, eager to secure a more congenial partner for the next dance.

"Young Joseph appears to be learning some manners at last!" Abigail informed Mrs Foster. "Perhaps the good example of his elder brother, Mr Adam Cartwright, is finally rubbing off on the young scallywag!"

Janie Foster was only 24 and had long cherished an unspoken admiration for Joe, which was only equalled by her loathing for Abigail Jones, who had made her life a misery at school, always castigating her for not being more decorous. She gave the teacher a cool smile. "Wasn't the news about Adam a shock? Who would have thought it?"

Abigail struggled to retain her composure, but her voice shook a little. "News? Not bad news, I hope."

Janie helped herself to a small tartlet before answering. "I suppose that would depend on your point of view. Haven't you heard, Miss Jones? I thought you were an intimate acquaintance of the family?"

"I have been otherwise engaged," Abigail retorted. She wished she were not such a lady, for her fingers longed to give the impudent little creature a smart rap across the knuckles.

"I suppose it will be all around town tomorrow," Janie continued, really enjoying herself now. "Adam Cartwright leaving the Ponderosa! Isn't that just the most interesting piece of news you've heard in a twelvemonth?"

"Fascinating," Abigail managed to respond, in a choked voice. Suddenly, the hall felt very hot and the music seemed incredibly loud. "Is that the time?" she asked, not even bothering to look at her pocket watch. "I really must be going." She felt that all her cherished dreams were destroyed in one swift, cruel blow, and only just managed to choke back a sob as she ran pell-mell out of the hall.

Luckily, her house was close by, for Abigail started to sob the moment she stepped out into the fresh night air and was soon howling piteously. She had failed! He was never going to marry her! As long as Adam lived at the Ponderosa, Abigail was able to cherish her long-held fantasy that one day he would come to his senses and realise that she was the only woman in the world who truly understood him and could fulfil his needs. But he was leaving her! Abigail threw herself onto her bed and kicked her heels furiously as she pummelled the pillows with her fists and screamed out her fury.