She walked into the library on Jason's arm. Carolyn's horrified reaction had gotten to him - an aire of the isolated, withdrawn recluse he'd been months ago now crept back into him. The woman sat on the sofa with the baby. Although Carolyn had the classic willowy, blonde hair, blue-eyed beautiful look, something about her simply brought to mind the image of a spider.
"I'm so sorry." Carolyn stood, set the baby on the carpet, and hurried toward them.
Jason's steps screeched to a halt, his arm tensed under her hand, and his posture snapped Navy SEAL straight.
She let go of his arm and stepped forward to intercept the taller woman. In one swift move, she linked her arm through Carolyn's and spun them around to go back to the baby. "Show me the little darling." Bile rose in her throat at having to even be near this creature, but there had only been a split second to figure out how to protect Jason from the unwanted touch. She glanced over her shoulder to where he still stood near the door.
The tension drained from his shoulders and a gentle smile of gratitude softened the stress on his face. 'Thank you,' he mouthed and strode over.
Releasing Carolyn's arm upon reaching the baby, she took a step back to return to Jason's arm, keeping herself between him and Carolyn. It seemed incredibly awkward and uncomfortable being in the middle, but absorbing any uneasiness or pain for Jason was reason enough to not move.
Jason slipped a step back to make more room, but he didn't show any sign of recognizing the protection from the black widow spider in the room.
She glanced up at Carolyn, who had the height advantage of looking directly over her to Jason. And groaned under her breath - flowing, crystal-like tears glided down Carolyn's flawless cheeks in a delicate waterfall. The woman knew how to manipulate, which seemed to be a skill that had been mastered well. Her blood pressure shot up. Jason had a soft spot for women in distress, which Carolyn probably knew. She clenched her teeth and her blood boiled. How dare that woman come in here and try to worm her way back to him. Her hand fisted on Jason's arm. He probably wouldn't like it if she gave Carolyn some real tears to cry.
"Oh, Andy, I'm so sorry - " Carolyn purred, her voice a perfect blend of heartbreak and remorse.
Jason, however, must've seen through it. "That's no longer my name." Patience did not exude from his tone.
Carolyn blinked.
Jason wouldn't be moved by that female's tears. A tiny jealous green monster in her smiled inside.
"Has Ms. Van Hoodie shown you to your room?"
Oh goodness, Jason's voice had a bit of a sharp edge that made even her cringe.
"Um, she explained but I haven't found it yet. I didn't mean to offend you." Confusion and a little hurt clouded Carolyn's perfect eyes.
A twinge of pity flickered for Carolyn. She glanced at Jason, whose stern glare didn't waiver. Some backstory was at play here. This didn't seem like him to not soften at least a little under a woman's tears.
"I'll ask her to escort you then. You're free to wander all the rooms on this floor, except for my office and Emma's. Your room is upstairs in the north wing." He clipped out orders as if speaking to a disobedient subordinate.
The north wing. She released a silent curse. That's where her own room here resided. His room lay in the west wing. Perhaps he misspoke - he surely wouldn't put her in the same wing with Carolyn. She'd have to ask him privately about that.
He continued. "When a door is closed, a clear answer is to be heard before opening it. By no means do I expect to find you in the west wing."
Oh dear, he took this quite seriously. It was as if he expected Carolyn to try finding him at night.
"Ms. Van Hoodie will see to anything you need. Good day, Mrs. Rush." He set a hand on the small of her back to leave Carolyn alone with the baby.
A part of her pitied the woman. To have a man as warm and loving as Jason and then to earn his scorn had to be painful. Something from the past had driven the coldness of this conversation.
Carolyn's voice followed, a bit timid this time. "May I ask what is in the west wing?"
He whirled around, his eye ice cold and angry. "It's forbidden," he snarled. Then he swept her out of the room and slammed the door behind them.
She trotted to keep up with his long, rapid strides across the foyer. He held her hand but didn't seem to really register her presence as he stormed toward the stairs. Anger burned in his eye. At the staircase, he scooped her up without a word and shot up two stairs at a time. His legs ate up the distance toward his room.
"Jason?" She looked up at him. Something haunted him, something he thought he knew the answer to chasing away.
In his room, he kicked the door shut and dropped her to her feet, pushing her up against the wall with a hungry kiss before she could lose her balance. His hands fumbled with his red necktie and snapped it off. He reached for her to put on the blindfold.
Panic. No, not when he was angry. Not in a state when a man could so easily get out of control. Her heart slammed. A moment of fear from years ago flickered, and she pressed her hands against his chest. "Stop."
At the flip of a switch, he dropped the tie and took a step back. His chest still heaved with anger and desire. "I'm not going to hurt you."
She lowered her hands and relaxed. His word was enough to calm the fear. "What's going on, Jason?"
He closed his eye and shook his head like he tried to get a memory out. Then he jerked off his suit jacket and unbuttoned his white dress shirt as if racing a memory trying to catch him. Scooping up the tie, he closed the distance and tied it over her eyes. "Touch me," he whispered in urgency and pressed her hand against the burns on his neck. He let go and lifted her onto his hips, pinning her against the wall as his mouth crushed down on hers.
Something had him terrified enough to risk this. His kisses held a desperate need to get lost, to find physical pleasure in the midst of emotional pain. His tongue plunged into her mouth. The more he demanded, the more he drowned and panicked.
Turning her head away, she cradled his head against her shoulder and buried her fingers in his hair. "Stop, Jason. It's alright. It's alright," she soothed.
His chest heaved as he buried his face against her neck. And then his shoulders shook with silent, gut-wrenching sobs.
Looking up to the ceiling in silent prayer for guidance, she swallowed hard and held him in the safety of her arms. Something else had happened with Carolyn - something he still carried that had the power to destroy. "Shhh. I'm here, Jay. I love you."
He holed up in his office all day, his voice carrying through the door on business calls each time she went to his office. Worry over him and anger toward Carolyn provided good fuel for plowing through work.
By the dinner hour, someone knocked on her office door. She bite her lip with hope of it being Jason. "Come in."
Trudy bustled in with a sour face and tray of food. "Don't know why the wench is here sniffing around him like a dog pissin' on a carcass, don'tcha know," she grumbled to herself and set the tray on the desk.
"She's bothering Jason?" Pushing the chair back, she stood.
"Like a rat's nest she is!" Trudy whipped down a napkin on the desk with an offended look. "I'm keeping her away from that poor man. He let me in only to bring him supper. Said to bring yours too so you don't have to dine with the snake."
She blinked. "He called her a snake?"
Trudy jutted out her chin. "I do. She's here to squeeze coins outta him, just like a snake. He says I shouldn't say such things, but I can tell!" She made the sign of the Cross. "Bless his heart, it's gone and welcomed the She Devil into this house."
Biting back a laugh at Trudy's dramatics, she cleared her throat. "Is there more to it than she left him at the hospital?" Picking up the fork, she pierced a potato bite.
"Ohhhh, don'tcha know?" Trudy breathed it like a sin. "I shouldn't say or he'll have my hide strung up like a daisy in May." She glanced at the closed door and whispered, "He called her right when I started workin' here, feeling guilty and all because she thought him dead. He took it quite hard when the hussy asked to be courted again. I think he knew she had more interest in his money than his heart. You shoulda seen her eyes light up like a Christmas tree when she stepped in this house."
Her eyebrows shot up. "She didn't stalk him, did she?"
A deep throat cleared.
Trudy spun around, and her own face flamed at being caught gossiping.
Jason sat in a chair on the opposite side of the desk and waved a hand. "By all means, don't let me interrupt, ladies."
She walked around the desk, calm and composed. "I was the one who pressed Trudy, so don't be snarly with her, Jay."
"Forgive me, sir. May I speak frankly?" Trudy wrung her hands.
He waved a hand and then propped his elbow on the armrest and his chin on his fingers. "Have you not been all day?" He cocked an eyebrow.
Trudy bowed her head a little in shame. "Yes, sir. Excuse me." Then she headed for the closed door.
Jason sighed and raised his voice a bit to carry across the room but didn't turn in the chair. "Speak your peace, Ms. Van Hoodie."
She smiled when Trudy flitted over with a happy look that he wasn't upset and wanted her opinion.
"I know you dislike speaking ill of anyone, but Mrs. Rush sits as well as anchovies with me, sir. The things in this house turn her head like a toad with a fly. Not like Ms. Hoplin, who has walked right past the jewel case in your office a dozen times and has never noticed."
"What?" Her head whipped to Trudy. A jewel case?
Jason chuckled. "Ms. Van Hoodie, you disappoint me. I expected it to take her another few months to notice."
Swinging her head to him, she frowned. "Are you two being serious?"
Trudy grinned and clapped her hands together. "Oh, do tell her, sir."
He smiled. "Later. You were saying, Ms. Van Hoodie?"
The smile disappeared from Trudy's face and she folded her hands before her. "Mrs. Rush is trouble, don'tcha know. Forgive me for speaking ill, sir, but she has too much interest in materials. Ms. Hoplin isn't just sweet as a puppy under a Christmas tree, she has a goodness about her too."
Her face burned having Trudy sing her praises, but Jason glanced at her and smiled, adding to the embarrassment.
"That woman has a fakeness, sir. Forgive me because I know she used to mean something to you, but I won't sit by and watch her squash Ms. Hoplin."
She frowned and Jason dropped his hand with a look of concern. "Elaborate, please. I don't quite follow, Ms. Van Hoodie. Has Mrs. Rush spoken ill of her?" His demeanor went from semi-humoring Trudy to dead serious.
Trudy wrung her hands, looking from her to Jason. "No, sir, but she gets this look when I speak of Ms. Hoplin. Ms. Hoplin is like a kitten and Mrs. Rush is like a dog looking to devour her. You, sir, are the steak she's after." Trudy could be a bit dramatic and eccentric, but her judge of character had yet to fail.
Jason exchanged a concerned glance with her and then his eye flicked to Trudy. "Do you believe it's best if Ms. Hoplin is not in the house?"
"Heavens me, as in is Ms. Hoplin in danger?"
His fingers curled around the front of the armrests, an aura of dangerous power exuding from him. "No. I don't believe Mrs. Rush capable of something that horrid. I'm asking if you believe Mrs. Rush would intentionally make Ms. Hoplin's life difficult."
Trudy didn't hesitate to nod. "We heard you and Ms. Hoplin arguing, and Mrs. Rush smiled when she thought I wasn't looking, sir."
A deep, angry sigh escaped him. He looked at her. "Emma, I have to go to the Foundation in California in a few days. I'd rather you don't stay here in my absence, given the situation. Would you like to come with me? You can work from the hotel or the private office I have on-site."
"For heaven's sake, I can take care of myself, Jay. Besides, Trudy and Pete are here if things get out of control." She folded her arms over her chest. "Besides, how bad can she be? You were going to marry her, afterall."
After only a few minutes in the kitchen with Carolyn and Trudy, her blood boiled. The woman had a way of smiling to keep eye contact while plunging a knife into one's belly.
"Oh, Emma," Carolyn giggled. "Moms know that you have to use bowls for babies for everything."
A bowl for a handful of dried cereal didn't seem necessary for a baby being handfed one flake at a time. Biting her tongue, she glanced at Jason, who stood at the stove helping Trudy finish cooking. Trudy never needed help cooking, only baking. Something said that his presence in the kitchen was for protection due to her being in the room with Carolyn. He showed no sign of having heard the dig. She drew a deep breath for patience and walked across the kitchen to get a bowl from the cupboard. Standing on her toes, she stretched up for a plastic bowl.
Carolyn's high heels clicked closer.
She gritted her teeth. The phrase 'wringing a neck' had never resonated so strong.
"Here, I'll get it." Carolyn's willowy arm stretched overhead and grabbed the bowl with ease. Then she looked down. "You're so little. It's cute." Then the wench patted her on top of the head and sashayed back toward the table with those long legs.
She picked up a small aluminum pot and raised it.
Jason stepped over and swiped it from her hands. "Is California sounding better?" he whispered in her ear with a smile.
Clenching her teeth, she threw him a look.
Not seeming to care about an audience, he bent his head and brushed a lazy kiss over her lips. "Come with me," he breathed and pulled back just enough to search her eyes.
Carolyn's face came into focus past his shoulder. The woman sat at the table and glared. The only other time of witnessing a look so cold had been from Gaston that night at the hotel when Jason had rescued her.
Jason followed her gaze and looked over his shoulder. Carolyn gave a warm, gentle smile. As soon as he turned around, the ice-cold glare returned.
Self-consciousness had crumpled into a pile of dust this past year, but the ashes rose from the dead and slammed into her gut like a wrecking ball. She couldn't be farther from Carolyn in every way possible - Carolyn had willowy curves that height carried off with grace whereas she had few curves and even heels wouldn't make her match Carolyn's height. Carolyn's classic blonde hair and blue eyes against flawless skin outshined her own pale skin and dull brown hair and eyes. Her own quiet, nonconfrontational demeanor welcomed being the one forgotten in a room and walked on like a doormat, whereas Carolyn's demeanor demanded attention and respect. Her gaze fell from Carolyn's. Trudy didn't quite have it right - Carolyn was the powerful lioness and she was the clumsy zebra about to be ripped apart. The woman had somehow come crashing into this relationship and had created so many cracks in less than twenty-four hours.
She looked up at Jason, whose brow furrowed in concern as his eye searched hers. Carolyn obviously still had some kind of hook in him. He'd once been in love enough to want to marry the woman. A sick twisting in her gut said Carolyn always got what she wanted. And the woman wanted him.
The back of his knuckles stroked down her cheek. "Emma," he whispered for her ears alone, "I'm so deeply in love with you that we've become one. We can't be separated." Then a soft smile curled the corner of his mouth and his voice rose to a normal speaking volume. "I find your small frame incredibly sexy and feminine." Then he turned a bit to Trudy without dropping his hand from her cheek. "Ms. Van Hoodie, please bring two plates to Ms. Hoplin's office. I'll be dinning with her."
Her heart nearly burst. It had been months since he'd eaten in her presence. Perhaps this would be the start of having meals together for the rest of their lives. She glanced at Carolyn and her happiness faded a bit - the woman fumed over not being chosen for dinner companionship.
Instead of dining in her office, Jason picked up the two plates from the desk and offered his arm. Curious, she accepted. He led the way to the dining room, turned on the glistening chandelier lights overhead, and set down the plates on one side of the long cherrywood table. Then he pulled out one of elegant wood chairs for her.
"Thank you." She smiled and sat.
He took a seat beside her but didn't touch his food. Instead, his gaze turned onto her.
She flushed. "You aren't eating with me, are you?"
"I'll eat a little." He popped a tiny red potato chunk into his mouth with a smile. When he swallowed, he continued speaking. "I wished to speak with you privately about California because I'm too anxious to wait until after dinner. Come with me, Emma." Hope shined in his eye. "It sounds vain, but this is what I'm most proud of in my career. The children will adore you, and I wish to show off my beautiful fiance to my staff. Let me show you what all your hard work saved in cracking the embezelment. Some of these children have to come yearly for medical care. I want you to meet them."
He seemed a little too eager for a man who didn't like being in public. "Is there a hidden motive in this?"
A guilty smile crinkled the corner of his eye. "I'm hoping you'll love it as much as I think you will."
Her heart lightened as the stress of the past couple days lifted from his eye. He hardly ever asked for anything and never volunteered talking about his career. This meant so much to him and it was an honor that he wanted to share it with her. "Alright. Let me work a bit late this week to make up hours because I think we'll need a few during business hours for the Foundation?"
A full smile split his lips, shining from the depths of his heart. "If you don't mind. I'd like to take you on a tour during our day hours so you can see it in action during peak time."
She laughed and nodded with a grin.
"Oh, and, Em? I forgot to mention that I want you to sleep in the west wing in the room across from mine. I'll feel better having you near if you stay the night." He glanced at her and then his gaze flitted down to the table, as if uncomfortable with the situation. "I don't expect trouble for either of us tonight, but I'd be more at ease having you within hearing distance. I'll wear the hearing device tonight too, just in case."
She frowned. He wouldn't keep her in the house if he suspected danger...but he would if he worried he might get a night visitor. "Of course." Perhaps she should sleep in his room. "Jay?" She picked up her fork and pushed the food around her plate, her appetite gone. "Let's lock our doors tonight."
"But if you - "
"If I need you, you have a key and you're strong enough to break down the door if you had to." Her eyes traveled up to his. Maybe she should ask to sleep in his room for his protection.
He nodded, the mood solemn. "We'll lock our doors."
She woke up during the night for some reason. Muffled, hushed voices came from the hall. Glancing at the clock, she frowned. Three o'clock in the morning.
A deep male rumble carried through the wood - a rumble that matched Jason's pitch. Anger tinged the tone.
She tiptoed to the door, pulling on her robe to ward off the chill in the fall night air, and pressed an ear to it. The words leaked through indeceipherable, but he didn't sound pleased at all. A female voice answered...and it didn't sound like Trudy. She opened her door.
A light shined under Jason's door into the hall.
"Get the hell out," he snarled.
"You really think she's here for you? Andy, you won't even let her see your face. These things happen all the time when a woman makes a man fall in love to get to his money. I loved you before then - "
A bitter laugh vibrated from Jason's throat. "And what, you've returned out of love? Just like you promised to love me no matter what while I laid in that hospital bed on a respirator? Until you saw what the flames had actually done. Then you couldn't run fast enough."
She cringed at the cynicism dripping from his normally warm, gentle voice. Tears burned for his wounds that had ripped open again the moment Carolyn had stepped into the house.
"That's not fair, Andy. They were fresh burns and I couldn't handle it - "
"Jesus! You stumbled back from the bed and said you couldn't bear looking at a monster the rest of your life!" he roared.
The breath froze on her lips and her heart stopped. That's where all of his fear about marriage stemmed from - Carolyn's reaction had been such a betryal, such a trauma that he believed it true. It had been ingrained in his mind at that moment that his wife could never see his face because she'd fear him as a beast.
"I was younger and stupid! They said you were going to die! I was scared!" Carolyn's voice quivered with tears that sounded in earnest.
A snort of disgust cut through the silence. "Get out."
"No." Carolyn's voice held conviction.
"Is this what you suddenly desire?!" he roared, so much hurt and rage ripping out of his throat.
Silence.
Things had gone far enough. She whipped open the door. Her feet and heart stopped dead in their tracks.
On the far side of the room, Carolyn wore a long satin nightgown. Her willowy arms clung around his neck and her lips pressed to his. Jason wore only blue pajama bottoms. His hands didn't touch Carolyn but instead held the black ski mask. He had shown Carolyn his face. And Carolyn had kissed him without any barriers - in the way that had been only hers to cherish. Betrayal and humiliation and confusion and a dozen other emotions swept through. But most of all pain that between her and Carolyn, he had chosen Carolyn to reveal himself. That, for some reason, hurt more than walking in on a kiss. And then the shock set in. She stared without really seeing.
"Emma." Jason's voice cut through the numbness.
Her eyes flicked to him. He wore the mask again and strode across the room. Tears burned. Over his shoulder, Carolyn watched with a hint of a smile. The black widow had planned this. Just as Jason reached out a hand, she spun around and hurried out as warm tears ran down her clammy skin.
"Emma," he begged and his heavy footsteps picked up to a trot to keep up. His hand brushed her arm.
She shook him off and practically ran down the hall. Carolyn would relish the tears and hearing the coming argument. Hell would freeze over before she'd give the woman so much satisfaction. Her cotton nightgown billowed as she raced down the steps. The cold marble floor numbed her toes. Her office. It was the closest room. Making a beeline for it, she entered and swung the door shut behind herself. Only it made an odd thud. Dashing the tears from her eyes, she spun around.
Jason caught the door and slipped in, flinging the door shut as his long legs ate up the distance like his only thought was to reach her. Concern and regret and pain reflected in his eye as he stepped forward and reached out to give an embrace.
The hurt swelled, and she took a step back.
The rejection of his touch seemed to stun him as much as if she'd slapped him. His hands froze mid-reach and then slowly dropped to his sides. Fear and heartbreak welled in his blue eye, and his voice quivered. "Emma, she knocked and I thought it was you. We argued and she kissed me. I vow that I didn't kiss her or make advances - "
"I know." She sniffled and wiped away another tear that bled from her heart. Unable to stand the heartache of looking at the cruel reminder of the mask, she turned around and leaned her hands on the front of the desk. "Yet you show her your scars," she whispered.
"Emm - "
Squeezing her eyes shut, she shook her head. "Please go." Right now the pain consumed too much and too deep to hear reasons. Right now the hurt needed to come in order to get past it.
"No, please, Emma," he begged, his voice cracking with tears. His hand brushed her upper arm and he sniffled as he stepped up against her back. His arms encircled in a slow embrace from behind, allowing time for a rejection but as if too afraid to not try.
Bowing her head, she shook it. "Jason, it's late and emotions are too high." Talking tonight would cause an argument that would lead to problems that didn't actually exist.
His hands fell from around her waist and the chill of the night embraced when he stepped away.
She closed her eyes for strength that seemed so sparse right now. Turning, she looked at him.
He stared at the floor with a wide-eyed gaze, as if in shock. His chest heaved with so much turmoil apparent in his heart. When his lips pressed together and his eye squinted behind the mask as if he struggled to remain composed, he released a shakey breath and turned to go.
No matter the pain for herself, her heart still belonged to him and felt his paralyzing fear - he thought a breakup waited in the morning. "Jason?"
His shoulders bowed with grief, but he stopped walking.
"Do you love her?"
The man spun around with an eye wide with horror, and the skin around his eye and mouth of the mask holes paled. "No. I only love you, Emma."
Searching his eye, her brow furrowed in confusion. "Then why would I leave?" Her voice held calmness and patience that only love could offer.
He turned toward the door. It was as if relief slammed into him because he silently reached a hand to his right and held a bookshelf to steady himself. His shoulders sagged and his head bowed. "I'm sorry, Emma," he whispered, his voice cracking. Then he hurried out, as if no longer able to hold back tears.
