Chapter 9: Tension

Back at the Cullen house, we were getting ready for Bella and Edward's arrival. I knew that Alice could tell that something was wrong with me, but she didn't comment on it. I'd talk to her later. There were bigger things we had to worry about now.

"When are they arriving?" I asked.

"Within the hour," Alice said, watching the clock warily. I'm sure she was just as nervous as I was about what was coming through that door. Even though she basically knew what to expect, she still couldn't be one-hundred percent sure. After a few minutes of silence between us, she quietly asked, "Would you like to talk to me about what happened with Paul?"

I turned to look at her, question mark look on my face. How had she known?

"Don't give me that look, even without seeing your future because of his interference I know that something happened. I could see you coming back here looking upset exactly three minutes before you actually walked through the door looking upset. I can see when you're going to go back there to gather your things, even though you probably haven't consciously made that decision yet. All I don't know is exactly what happened, and if you don't want to tell me, that's completely understandable, just know that I'm here when and if you do want to talk about it."

I took a deep breath. "We got into a fight about the baby. He was going on about how it should be terminated, because it's dangerous, he didn't understand…" I trailed off.

"Is there more to it?" she asked gently. "I mean, him just saying that Bella's baby should be terminated wouldn't cause you to necessarily walk out without another word."

I nodded. "There is more; I asked him what he would think if it were me pregnant with his baby…he kept saying how he'd leave it up to me, but would expect me to make the 'right' choice, but that he'd want me to get rid of it."

Alice was quiet got a few minutes. "Would you get rid of it?"

I met her eyes. "I don't know."

"I don't know what I'd do either," she said. "I think in the back of my mind I'd know what I should do, but my conscious would take over. I don't know how I'd actually be able to go through with getting rid of it."

"I don't think I'd be able to get rid of it," I said honestly. "Regardless of what's right or wrong, I mean, that's a little person in there. It didn't do anything wrong. It wouldn't deserve that."

"Unfortunately the men in this house don't feel the same way. I can tell that Jasper, Carlisle and Emmett all think that this is going to be a horrible idea. I can already see what Bella is going to decide, and I can see what Edward is going to think and want. As you can guess; their opinions clash immensely. Esme, you and I, and even Rosalie-especially Rosalie, are all on Bella's side more with this. Carlisle, even though he thinks this will end badly, seems to already know what Bella will decide, and he's interested in dealing with a half-vampire. It's completely new territory, and it's intriguing for him."

"And we already know what the wolves think, for the most part at least," I said. I couldn't keep the bitter edge out of my voice.

Alice put her hand on my shoulder. "It's okay; we'll make it through this. It won't be too bad. From what I've seen, the wolves can't stay away from their imprints for long; he'll come around when he's ready. He's more upset than angry right now-I know that you're angrier, but I can tell that you're also really upset about it."

I sighed. "I don't want to lose him over this. I knew something like this would come between us, I knew that sooner or later something like this…a clash between us because of what we are would end up happening. It was bound to happen."

She squeezed my shoulder, trying to comfort me. "You won't lose him. It'll be tense between you two for a while, that's for sure, but you guys will work your way through this."

"I'm not used to this," I admitted. "I've been alone for so long. I'm not used to someone being so committed to me; I'm not used to someone caring for me so much. I'm used to being alone."

"I was on my own for thirty years before I met Jasper-probably even longer than that," she said quietly. "I don't remember much of my human life, but as far as I know, I was in an insane asylum before I was turned. So basically, I was isolated and alone. Then, I was turned, only to have visions of Jasper and Carlisle-by that time Carlisle had Esme, Edward, Rosalie and Emmett, and we were set to join them. I had seen it numerous times, almost on a daily basis until I met Jasper. About a week after we met, we found the Cullens, and…well the rest you know."

I was quiet, mulling this over.

"It's hard to adapt to now having Paul and basically a family," I said. "It's hard to wrap my head around it."

"I know firsthand how hard it is to wrap your head around," she said, nodding in understanding. She and I were both quiet, and then she said, "They're here."

I felt the atmosphere in the house change immediately. Sure, when I had walked in earlier, they all seemed tense, but not it was like the tension had been multiplied by eight thousand. Edward and Bella walked through the front door, and I'm sure she could feel our eyes on her. Edward locked eyes with me, seeming to be "reading" through my conversation with Paul earlier. His expression changed slightly, but he kept it as neutral as possible so Bella wouldn't notice.

Surprisingly, Rosalie went to Bella's side immediately, before Carlisle could even get to her, and grasped her arm and led her to the couch. Her maternal side was kicking in; it was clear as day. She wanted to help Bella through this; she wanted to be there for the baby more than anything. Bella looked fine. She looked shaken, but other than that, she looked fine. Rosalie led her to the couch in the living room, and as she sat down I noticed a small baby bump. This baby was going to grow very quickly…and it would be very hard on Bella.

Edward didn't take his eyes off of her as Carlisle examined her. He had never dealt with something like this before, so he wasn't sure how to go about dealing with it.

Over the course of the next few days a lot changed. Bella's stomach grew, while the rest of her basically began to deteriorate. She looked scarily thin, while her stomach looked unbelievably bloated.

Things changed with the wolves as well. There were now two packs. One consisted of Jacob, and Leah and Seth Clearwater, while the other pack consisted of all the other wolves. The pack of just Jacob, Leah and Seth were the wolves that were actually on Bella's side with this…well, they were the ones who didn't want to kill both Bella and the baby while it was still actually inside of her. I watched Jacob closely. I knew he wanted to kill the baby…but he wanted to do it after it was born. Bella had wanted Jacob there with her. She clung to him whenever he was around.

I hadn't spoken to Paul since our argument either. I knew that Alice wanted to say something to me about it, but she held back. There were bigger things on our plate right now than my drama with Paul.

Alice was frustrated. She couldn't tell what was going to happen with Bella, as she wasn't familiar with a half vampire, half human. It was like dealing with the wolves, except Bella's future and the baby's future wasn't black; it was too blurry for Alice to see. I noticed she would linger close to Jacob when he was around; apparently not being able to see anything soothed her head.

It was ironic that of all people who would give Alice peace of mind, it was one of the wolves.

I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I did miss Paul. It was weird not seeing him on a daily basis-hell; it was weird not living with him anymore. I had been trying to keep my thoughts away from him, but it was hard. Alice and I spent a lot of time together in the attic. Her head was killing her because of the baby, and Bella had begun to drink human blood to satiate the baby's thirst-that had been the hard part for me. I couldn't be around her when she was drinking it. My self-control had always been fine, but now it was getting to me.

I think it was the fact that someone was literally drinking it out of a cup right in front of me. I had never drunk human blood in my life before, and now it was literally right in front of me, practically being offered to me.

And, we were hunting less often, so I'm sure I wasn't the only one who was being affected by it.

I'm sure it was especially bad for Edward. He had to listen to everything thinking about drinking it, as well as Jasper having to feel everyone's want to feed.

Speaking of which, right now, Alice and I were out hunting. This was the first time I had hunted since Bella and Edward had arrived back. At one point I realized Alice wasn't with me anymore. I turned to see her standing about three feet away from me.

"I can't go any further," she said. "You're in La Push."

"Sorry!" I said, making a move to go back, but a growling from behind me stopped me in my tracks.

Alice's facial expression changed slightly and she said, "I'll give you two some privacy." And then she ran off. I felt exceptionally stupid as I turned around to face him. He was in wolf form and staring at me.

"What?" I demanded. He transformed into human form, pulling on a pair of shorts that were tied around a little rope on his leg. He loomed over me and stared down at me, not saying anything. "If you aren't going to say anything I'm just going to turn around and leave."

"Your eyes are so dark," he whispered.

"Well, maybe if you hadn't just interrupted my hunting…"

"Harley, I'm so sorry," he said.

I knew he didn't mean about the hunting thing. "You made it clear where you stand on the issue, and you know where I stand. Obviously our opinions are complete opposites."

"That shouldn't come between us!" he growled.

"On something like this, there's good reason for it to come between us, Paul," I snapped. "It's a baby Paul. It's not some…some beast! It's half human. If it gets out of hand, Carlisle knows what to do. You should just keep your nose out of it. This has nothing to do with you."

"It has everything to do with me!" he snapped. "This town is my home, and this thing could be a danger to the people who live here. I don't want any harm to come to them."

"Oh, so no harm is going to come to them from vampires and wolves?" I asked sarcastically.

"You guys don't hunt humans and we protect," he said. "We don't know what this baby is going to do."

"And what about Bella when she's been turned?"

He cocked an eyebrow at me. "That's illegal. Unless it's to save her life-which with the way things are going it probably will be that way-it's against the treaty."

"Edward knows what to do," I said. "If she's too out of hand they'll be taking her away, to some secluded area-Antarctica if they need to."

He looked away from me. "I don't want to argue with you."

"Too late," I snapped. Because he wasn't looking at me, I took the time to really examine his face. He looked tired. He had very dark circles under his eyes, and stubble lined his chin. My tone softened as I asked, "Why haven't you been sleeping?"

He turned back and met my eyes again. "Sam's been working us extra hard. And…I've missed having you with me."

I took a deep breath. I didn't want to crack, but I felt my willpower slowly draining from me. I wanted to run up to him and promise him that it'd be okay, but I couldn't. I forced myself to keep my feet planted and remembered what he had said about the baby before.

"This baby is putting more stress on us than you may think," he said. "Come on, Harley, come back, please."

I wanted to, I wanted to so badly. But I couldn't. "I have to hunt."

I went to push past him, but he grabbed my arm and pushed me against a tree so I was trapped between him and the tree. Anger and desire burned through my veins, but anger was the more prominent emotion at the moment.

"Let go of me," I growled.

"No."

"Paul, so help me God I will snap your wrist if you don't let go of me."

"It'll heal," he said. "Harley, please come back, I miss you."

I pushed him off of me, and glared at him. "No."

I ran into the deeper part of the forest, listening for the sounds of him following me. I couldn't hear anything, so I slumped onto the ground and held my head in my hands. I missed him. A lot. But I couldn't go back to him. At least not until everything with the baby was sorted out. I needed to see what happened with that before I could make my decision as to whether or not I would go back to him.

I hadn't even heard him approach, but I felt his arms circle around me. I tensed right away, but then relaxed as he murmured, "It's okay. I can tell you need me."

I rested my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes, relishing in the sheer serenity of this moment between us.