Hope and Despair
Part 1
"Despair"
Jumping on the roof, he looked over at his comrade, his friend, with widened eyes. He didn't particularly loathed the stupid fake smile on Sai's face before, he could care less about how the man expressed his true feelings but now it was not only annoying but irritating, infuriating and aggravating he practically felt himself in flames of fury.
"I've woken."
Deep black eyes that normally showed confusion and naivety now were filled with void and nothingness. For the first time after everything Shikamaru had been through he felt a shiver running down his spine as he looked closely at his friend stoic expression.
"You will understand too, Shikamaru."
"Sai, You—" He gritted, averting his gaze from Sai and looking back at the man in dark blue uniform, Gengo. Shikamaru knew something was off the moment that the man started talking, he just couldn't quite put his finger on it. He had to have used some sort of trick. Something that made Sai against his own friends.
"Is this your doing Gengo?!" He yelled as the man smirked a little and stepped to the edge of the podium.
"How a shinobi of your stature would be bound by old-fashioned laws," his voice echoed in his mind. Is this a genjutsu? He wasn't quite sure of it but all these emotions suddenly coming back to him, pushing him back to cold hard days when nothing existed but pain and despair, he couldn't prevent them from coming back. It was all out of control. " is beyond my comprehension." Gengo talked in his strangely soothing voice, his voice though scratched the walls in his head, drew him to the land of forgotten memories.
How helpless he was, drowning in the swarm of nightmares he so hardly tried to forget. He wasn't a man to lose control easily but now he felt like losing all grips to reality, to sanity and giving up to oblivion. Visions flied before his eyes from years ago, Asuma, Neji, Choji, all in red. He wasn't able to protect them, he wasn't able to do anything. He just had to stand there, further than the others, deep in the shadows and watching them die, watching them being slaughtered and being taken away from him.
Sorrow fought his way into his heart and he felt his brain stopped functioning. Blood oozed on his hands. The same trembling hands that held a cigarette to blue pale lips, the same weak hands that better to be cut off when there's no use them.
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" He desperately shouted, his voice sounding only like a whisper to his own ears. He wanted to break free but he was paralyzed the moment a thick gigantic inky serpent wrapped around his body, crushing his bones. It was one of Sai's jutsus but he didn't understand why he was doing this. He was being strangled to death but somehow Shikamaru knew he still had some use. Gengo wanted him. He rather died though than to betray his village and his friends.
"Shikamaru, you must wake up too." Sai's stoic voice rang in his ears. As he gasped for breath. The back of his throat burned and his whole body felt crushed not by the snake this time but by the sudden interminable weigh of grief.
"I… hate… waking up when I'm fast…asleep." He managed to spat the last words. It was the truth, he brought up his fingers to form a seal as a shadow was cast upon his body, going all the way up to his throat. Unbearable pain was only the understatement of the century. After everything that had happened. He didn't have to second thought on that matter, why hadn't he done it sooner? Was he really a coward? Just like his father had said?
Maybe so.
But it didn't matter now. Not as the shadow tightened around his throat and pulled the life out of him.
He didn't have anything to lose now.
Did he?
A/N:
Hey all!
So I was watching this new episode of Naruto Shippuden and they finally made Shika's hidden novel into the anime series and I was really happy about it so the moment I saw my Shika being strangled to death, I couldn't help but to feel a little pain in my heart when he actually considered killing himself and then I wrote this. Hope will be the next chapter when Temari shows up ( I don't think it happens soon enough in the anime though maybe in two weeks or more but god know I'm looking forward to it! just feed me a real ShikaTema moment in the anime so I can die happy! )
Anyway, I've missed this fandom, I've missed my baby Shika and Temari and this lovely family as a whole so I'll be writing more about them whenever I'm inspired. Feel free to share your ideas with me, I try to do my best.
(I take requests now!)
Thank you everybody
Cheers,
Bella
