Disclaimer: Do you really want to rub it in? They are not mine, there you happy now.
Truth or Dare
What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way…
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you…
"So my turn, isn't? It was Lisa…" –Everyone stops laughing and all eyes went to me.
"Ianto I'm sorry" –Gwen says pity on her eyes. I hate pity.
"Sorry she is dead or sorry you mention it." –Jack looks away; Tosh keeps her eyes on the horizon and Owen just looks at Gwen like saying: See now what you did? You and your stupid games.
"I just didn't think." –Now, there you have it, most of the time she just talks without thinking who she is going to hurt.
"You forgot…" –What else could I say.
Owen comes up with a good excuse to leave the awkwardness of this situation and Gwen leaves with him; Tosh keeps sitting next to me without saying a word. Then when I look up, I find myself looking directly into Jack's eyes who are staring at me.
He doesn't say a word but I can feel it, he is mad. I can see it on his expression. Now that I think about I should have ask him right then why was he mad? Was it because I mention Lisa or because interrupted the happy gathering we were having? On the other hand, was it perhaps that he got offended when I did not mention that the last person I kiss was in fact him? Well if it was the last one, I have a good answer to it. Why I would come out and admit that he was my last? What good would it come from it? Owen would most positive make fun of me. Tosh would probably said no way and then demand to know all the details; to Jack most probably I am just another mark on his list; and Gwen after admitting that she kissed Owen, I can't guess her reaction as to Jack kissing me, probably she would just feel offended or rejected. Finally myself won't I look like a hypocrite saying that Jack kiss me the same night Lisa die. I am afraid the answer would a unanimous yes.
Admitting that it really happened would mean that I have to accept a lot of feelings that I have been avoiding. If I do not admit, it never happened. Right now denial is good.
