A/N- a special thanks to: AvaniAcrux, JustHereToDropBy, Forever-Young890, Cuckooo for your reviews! I love you all!….and yes, even you Leradomi, even though I feel like I was just given a thorough tongue lashing from professor Snape….I can see you definitely work in the medical field lol.

Enjoy :)

Heart Of Ice

Chapter 9

No one commented on the state of the blood stained bed.

There were no words needed to describe what they already knew happened. In a way they felt as if they arrived just in time, and yet were also too late.

Yurio swiped away angry tears as he ransacked Yuuri's closet for some comfortable clothes for Yuuri to wear.

Currently the young man was being cradled naked in Victors lap. Yurio had never seen someone look so haggard.

What if they had gotten there just a few seconds late? Dammit! This wasn't suppose to happen to Katsudon!

Yurio felt sick. They should have done more. He couldn't help take the blame upon himself.

And if he had jumped Yurio would have regretted every foul thing he had ever said to Yuuri in the past.

He could still remember the look of terror in Katsudon's face when he called him a loser a few years back. He cringed at the memory, and wished he could have said something more encouraging…..

However, that wasn't the type of person Yurio was when he was 15. At 17 years old, he knew how fragile a skaters heart was.

We all have hearts of ice, Yurio thought sparing a glance towards Yuuri.

He was rocked slowly, and held firmly to Victors chest.

Victor himself looked as if he was barley keeping it together, but he remained strong for Yuuri's sake.

Chris and Phichit gathers bags and began loading them with Yuuri's personal affects.

When Yurio retreated from the closet he brought with him a pair of soft cotton socks, underwear, black leggings with a large comfortable cashmere sweater. He also found a pair of lace up leather boots, a black cap, and some Channel sunglasses.

Yurio kneeled beside Yuuri and spoke quietly to him.

"Hey pork cutlet, its Yurio. I'm gonna get you dressed, okay?" Yurio waited for Yuuri to acknowledge him.

Yuuri tilted his head against Victor's chest in a slight nod.

"Okay, I'm gonna put these socks on you." Yurio made it a point to tell Yuuri exactly what he was doing before actually doing it "now lets put on your underwear…..okay good….I'm going pull these pants on you, I'll go slow in case its uncomfortable…now just slide your hand through the sleeve of the sweater. Take it slow, Katsudon . Yeah, this was the softest thing I could find…..here, its bright outside I thought a cap would make you a bit more comfortable. Oh and here are some sunglasses- Chris! Phichit! Lets get going!"

Yuuri tried to stand, but Victor would allow nothing of the sort.

"Just rest now, we're going home. To my home in Russia." Victor whispered gently in Yuuri's ear, as they retreated from the apartment " The winter nights are so lovely there. And at night you can see a blanket of stars across the sky. I have a home in the country with my own lake in the back. It freezes over ,10 out of 12 months during the year. Around the land are white mountains and skating on the lake is like a dream…..you'll see what I mean soon."

He continued to whisper into Yuuri's ear down the elevator and through the lobby, where Chris made quick work distracting the red headed concierge before kissing her full on the mouth as a farewell.

Phichit handed Victor his phone that had been on a table in the apartment and tucked it away.

He completely forgot all about it while they were in the apartment.

No one spoke a word during the long drive. They wanted to get as far as possible from that place.

Finally after two hours of driving they reached a double tree hotel. Chris paid for a deluxe family suit with four beds, and kitchenette.

They silently agreed that sharing a room was the best choice. Yuuri needed them now more than ever.

The four men agreed that Yuuri was never to be left alone. And for the time being that meant each of them took turns holding Yuuri.

The young Japanese man hadn't said a word yet, but allowed Victor to bath him as soon as they entered their room. He was slow and gentle as he cleaned the grime and blood off of Yuuri.

The water turned pink from the blood, and had to be drained twice.

He had been beaten badly, and quite obviously raped.

The water dripped from the fosset echoing with each droplet that fell.

"Sorry." Yuuri looked up weakly, his eyes unfocused.

"for what?" Victor asked, disbelieving that Yuuri should be apologizing for anything.

"I ran away." Yuuri explained "after the Grand Prix Final….after Worlds… I'm sorry I ran away…"

Yuuri slumped against Victor as he continued to wash him gently.

"No, Yuuri." Victor said firmly, cupping the young mans face in his white hand. "Never apologize to me. I was the one who ran….I allowed myself to run after an obsession that I thought I had control of…and when I cane to my senses it was too late."

Yuuri looked at Victor with tired red rimmed eyes, but said nothing.

"If I had only stayed…..oh Yuuri….I…I did this to you! Its all my fault. You gave your heart and soul to me, and I betrayed you."

Yuuri shook his head, he lifted his hand out of the water and placed it over Victors.

"I'm responsible for everything I've done to myself." His voice was quiet.

Victor was about to argue when Yuuri's face became tense and tight. His lower lip quivered.

Yuuri bit the sides of his cheeks. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't cry! Instead he sucked in great gulps of air to hold back those tears, pulling it all back inside him, pushing it back down into the empty place. Even though he was nearly immersed in the warm water, he began to shake and felt on the verge of hyperventilating.

Amazingly, Yuuri felt warm hands on his shoulders, pulling him back up until he was braced against Victor's chest. The Russian was talking to him in low soothing tones that he could barely understand from so far down in his dark place.

After a moment Yuuri regained his surroundings. He cleared the lump in his throat and said in a weak voice-

I-I Iwas the one who started using the drugs…. I was the one who gave up, and let men do whatever they wanted with me. I was the one who fought so hard to destroy myself ,until nothing was left of the old Yuuri Katsuki….I could have chosen a different path. This one seemed to be the one that would help me forget. I just wanted it all to stop."

Victor hated how hollow Yuuri's voice sounded. He reached out to brush Yuuri's long black locks of hair away from his face, but the young man turned his face away.

"What do you fucking want from me?!" his voice quivered to the point of breaking. "Why do you do that?"

"Because I love you, Yuuri." Victor said, reaching to turn the young mans face to look at him. "I love you so much. And I want nothing from you."

"But why?" Yuuri asked desperately "Don't you understand all the things I've done? I'm unworthy, filthy and twisted…why the fuck do you still love me?!"

His voice rose, surprising Victor.

" You asked me why I love you…the answer is simple." Victor shrugged "Every moment I have ever spent with you has been the happiest times of my life. I was selfish and vain before I met you. You have no idea. Then when I saw you skate my routine online, I was furious that the world would allow you to fade from the ice so easily. Why did no one see the greatness that I saw? So I went to you, thinking you would remember the night at the banquet, but you didn't. Still , you let me into your world. You let me make a fool out of myself trying to get you to open up…and then suddenly you did, and it was beautiful. You made me laugh, and cry, and love so deeply….oh Yuuri, how could I have NOT fallen for you?"

Yuuri lifted his hands from the water and brought them to his face. He was in tears, but didn't make a sound.

"I was a dying man before I met you, Yuuri. I may have looked happy, but I was ready to walk away from the ice all together. In a way you saved me."

Yuuri let out a bitter laugh.

" I guess this makes us even now."

Victor could not conceal the hurt and shock that crossed his face. That moment when he saw Yuuri step off the ledge was the worst moment of his entire life. The image burned in him and made him ferociously protective.

This need to love and protect Yuuri left him at a loss and flailing about for words to make sense of his feelings. But all he found was an upheaval of his emotions that whirled inside of him like chaos.

"Yuri Katsuki" Victor said softly, tracing the young mans features with his fingers. "I won't let you sacrifice yourself any further."

It was a vow he intended to keep.

Victor washed Yuuri's hair after another moment of silence, and poured warm water over him gently.

Yuuri was staring into the water as he was washed. His body ached and he longed for the comfort of a warm bed.

A moment later Victor wrapped him in a white robe and carried him to the edge or one of the beds.

He dressed Yuuri in a long white flannel shirt that was taken from his apartment, clean underwear and a pair of white socks. Victor brushed the mans hair, and braided it loosely to the side. He remembered doing this when he wore his hair long years ago. After Victor approved of Yuuri's clean and neat appearance he lifted him effortlessly into bed, tucking him in snugly.

He looked so small and young beneath the layers of clean sheets.

Victor could hardly bear to see him so vulnerable. He looked more like a child than he had ever seen him.

As Victor turned away, the cuff of his sleeve was tugged at.

Victor looked down to see Yuuri clutching it in his delicate hand. His gold ring winked at him in the light, making Victor step towards Yuuri eagerly.

"don't…" Yuuri croaked, letting more tears roll down his face, "don't leave me."

" Never," Victor promised, bending over to kiss the young mans forehead "I was just about to turn down the lights."

After Victor dimmed the lights he crawled into bed behind Yuuri, and drew the young man near to him.

He turned Yuuri to face him then wrapped his arms around him so Yuuri would have no choice but to lay his head against Victor's chest where he instantly began to fall asleep.

It didn't seem real to Victor, he felt a pang against his heart. Yuuri was with him again, and even though things were far from over at least, Victor could say, he had this moment to cherish forever.

After a few hours Victor was awoken to soft whimpers. Yuuri's sleep wasn't quite so peaceful anymore. Victor sat up, watching the young man for any signs of strain that flickered over his features.

His lips tightened and his brow furrowed as he began to toss his head back and forth. Victor noticed that Yuuri was sweating profusely.

Uncertain what precisely to do Victor reached out to touch the young mans face.

"S-stop!" Yuuri cried quietly "Alex stop!..h-hurts"

The bedside lights flickered on one by one. Phichit was the first one to slip out of bed and hurry to Yuuri's side.

"Yuuri, shh its okay." Phichit whispered.

Yuuri's body twisted, and he looked as if he might be having some sort of fit.

"Its alright Yuuri you're safe, its me Victor." He said softly, resting his hand on the Japanese mans delicate face.

It frightened everyone to see Yuuri in such a state.

To everyone's surprise Yuuri turned towards Victors touch, and some of the tension eased from his face.

How long had it been since Yuuri had received any sort of warm affection without the threat of violence or sex?

Victor felt a pang of regret, having took Yuuri while he was strapped down.

His desperate need for kindness had been so starved that a simple gentle touch caused all his fears to abate.

"Sometimes…." Phitchit paused kneeling down, resting his head on the edge of Yuuri's bed. "sometimes bad things that you go through need to filter through your dreams…memories come back to you ,and send your mind directions it shouldn't go. Sometimes you say and do things because of them, and you don't even know why… but that's okay, I think."

Victor continued stroking Yuuri's face when Yurio spoke up.

He sat with his back turned at the edge of the bed, clenching the bedsheets with an iron grip.

"If he's having a nightmare, wake him up. He's been through enough shit already. Don't let him suffer in his sleep too." Yurio grabbed his pillow off if his bed and returned, shoving Phitchit aside.

The blond Russian then proceeded, to everyone's shock, to slip beneath the covers on the opposite side of Victor, so that the two Russians sandwiched Yuuri.

"Turn off the damn light and go to sleep." Yurio snapped, draping his arm over the sleeping Yuuri and scooting closer to him. "We need to get up early to book our flight, and I don't need any of you dragging tomorrow."

Everyone blinked at Yurio's newfound warmth, although his words were sharp.

Chris chuckled then turned to Phichit with his blue 'come hither' expression.

"I vouldn't mind a cuddle party, looks like fun!"

Phichit , always being a good sport snickered and jumped into bed with Chris, nearly tackling him in the process.

"kinda feels like the sleepovers I used to have as a kid!"

"Yeah! Lets snuggle!"

"wow you smell nice!-"

Yurio growled.

"If you damn degenerates wake up the pig, I'm going to kick you in the teeth!" Yurio grinded out through his clenched teeth. "Now, shut your holes!"

And as the lights went out Yuuri's tense body relaxed between the two men, who held him protectively the entire night.

A/N- more to come! Please drop a review if you liked!