Chapter 9

Saturday, March 28th, 1895

Wastelands

8:32 A.M.

"GOOD MORNING, WORLD!"

Emmett threw open the doors to Agatha's wagon, beaming. He knew he was a little late, but he didn't care – after the night he'd had, nothing in the world could bother him! Clara loved him! Clara Clayton, the most beautiful construct in the world, loved him! It was more than he'd ever hoped for. "Agatha, you wouldn't believe the night I–"

He stopped as the scene before him suddenly registered. Agatha was standing in the middle of the group of three circus Jaegers – and one of them was hugging her. Rather tenderly, in fact. The entire group was staring at him, looking nervous. "Um, am I interrupting something?"

"Ah – um – Oggie, you can let go now," Agatha finally said, gently pushing the Jaeger away. "Emmett, it's – um – I was–"

"Oh, itz okeh, Miz Agatha," the purple one, Maxim, spoke up. "Ve vanted to tok to him too about dis."

"What? Why?"

"Talk to me about what?" Emmett asked, his joy being rapidly replaced with fear. The Jaegers had been personable so far, but he still remembered the conversation that had caused him to trip. "And Miss Agatha?"

"You really shouldn't call me that in front of anyone," Agatha nodded, shooting the Jaegers glares. Emmett admired her courage. "What makes him so special?"

Dimo went over and closed the door, making Emmett even more uneasy. "Because," the green Jaeger said, "he iz ov de bloodline as vell."

Agatha's eyes grew huge behind her glasses. "What?" she squeaked. "He's a Heterodyne?!"

Emmett's jaw dropped. "How – how–" he finally stammered, shocked.

"Ve kin schmell it in hyu," Maxim said, grinning. "All de Heterodynes haff der own special schmell." The grin changed into a thoughtful frown. "Dough, vit hyu, it'z mixed vit someting else."

"De voice izn't quite right either," Dimo agreed.

"He schmells like – like–" Oggie began, waving one hand.

"Like the Baron?" Emmett asked quietly.

"Yah, him!"

"The Bar – YOU'RE A HETERODYNE-WULFENBACH?!"

Agatha nearly upset a chair in her shock. "How?! How can you be a Heterodyne-Wulfenbach?!" she demanded, pale. "Unless there was some crazy lab accident between my father and uncle and the Baron–"

"The Baron has – had a sister," Emmett said, cutting her off. If the Jaegers could literally smell out his history, there was no sense keeping the cat in the bag. "She had an affair with Barry Heterodyne shortly before he disappeared fighting the Other. Nine months later, I was born."

"My uncle Barry?"

"Told hyu he vas a by-blow," Maxim said to Dimo.

"I don't know of any other Barry Heterodynes." Emmett shook his head. "So you're my – my cousin?"

Agatha nodded. "Bill and Lucrezia's daughter. I only recently found out myself."

"Great Scott. This – This is incredible! What are the odds of us meeting like this?"

"I don't know. I – I was sure I was the last. . . ." Agatha glared at the Jaegers, suddenly suspicious. "This isn't some sort of prank, is it?"

"Ve vouldn't joke about dis," Dimo assured her. "He's real."

Agatha looked back at Emmett. "But – Uncle Barry never mentioned your mother. I never overheard him say anything about a girl to my adoptive parents, at any rate."

"Maybe you just never recognized her name. Does 'Sarah' ring any bells?"

Agatha smiled slightly. "Well, in all the bedtime stories he told me, the main female character was almost always named Sarah." She sat down. "Amazing. I grow up with almost no family at all, and now I discover I've got two cousins running around."

"Two?"

"There's another boy on my mother's side – Theo DuMedd," Agatha explained. She frowned. "I hope he's all right. He did run into Othar. . . ."

Emmett winced. "That's never a good thing. How come Othar didn't kill you?"

"He tried when he found out I was a Spark, but I managed to toss him out of the airship we were on. Now that he's discovered I'm a Heterodyne, he wants me as his assistant again." She shook her head. "Hard for me to believe I ever thought of him as a hero."

"Same here." Emmett looked back at the Jaegers. "Thanks for not telling anyone about me. It's not the sort of thing you share with just anyone."

"Oh, ve know, ve know. Ve vere very surprised when Maxim sniffed hyu out."

"I can bet."

Dimo put an arm around Emmett. "Dis is goot, dough," he said cheerfully. "Now ve have two heirs! Dat vay, if ve lose vun of hyu–"

"Instant backup," Agatha said, rather sardonically.

"Yeah!"

"Whoa, wait," Emmett said as the implications hit. "Heir? Me?"

"Hyu are ov de bloodline. Hyu are a Heterodyne."

"Und a Wulfenbach," Oggie nodded. "Hyu are a pretty goot choice for us."

Emmett began to feel uncomfortable. "I'm not so sure about that," he confessed. "I can't exactly see myself leading you lot into battle."

"Neither can I," Agatha admitted.

The Jaegers laughed. "Vell den, ve teach hyu!"

Emmett shook his head, pulling away from Dimo. "I wouldn't want to be the heir – er, no offense, Agatha," he hastily added.

"None taken," Agatha said. "Finding out I'm a Heterodyne has turned my world completely on its head. I've lost two sets of parents, my uncle, my mentor, my home. . . . And if anyone finds out about me, they're going to want to control me – or even kill me."

Emmett winced. "If people find out my bloodline, I think they'll decide to skip the 'control me' step. Like I told my sister when all this started, being a Heterodyne-Wulfenbach essentially means I've got a giant target painted on my back. Plus there's the matter of Elias and Othar. . . ."

The Jaegers looked confused. "Hyu don't vant to be a Heterodyne?" Oggie asked in disbelief.

"Well, am I really even one now?" Emmett countered. "I was born out of wedlock."

"Pshaw, dat neffer matters," Dimo said dismissively. "As long as hyu haff de blood. De generals vould vant hyu over her."

"Do you want me over Agatha?" Emmett asked.

The Jaegers looked at each other. "Ve know Miz Agatha better," Maxim finally admitted. "Ve swore an oath to her before."

"Und she knows how to fight," Oggie said. "Hyu seem more–"

"Pacifist?" Emmett supplied with a slight grin. "Yes, I admit my obsession with death rays does not quite match that of my cousin's." Agatha rolled her eyes.

"Miz Agatha vould be our choice for Lady Heterodyne," Dimo confirmed. "Bot hyu are not a bad choice either."

"Thanks. Nevertheless, I'm not sure I'm really all that good heir material – you know, I actually get a little squeamish around blood. Not much, but if a scene's very gory. . . ."

The Jaegers snickered. "Yeah, Miz Agatha is definitely better," Oggie said.

"I thought you'd say that. All I want by this point is to find a nice quiet lab to settle down in and invent to my heart's content." Emmett bowed to Agatha. "I respectfully defer to my cousin. I'll be your backup, just in case, but until then, I'd prefer to be just plain old Emmett Brown."

The Jaegers' amusement turned to disappointment. "Aw, no fighting?" Maxim pouted. "Ve like a goot scuffle over de master's position."

"I was unfortunately raised never to hit a woman. Sorry."

Agatha chuckled, then frowned. "Wait a minute. How much do your friends know about your family history?"

"Everyone except Clara was present when my mother told us about Barry. So she's the only one who doesn't know – and even then, she's aware my family history is complicated. We just didn't get into details yet." He looked around at the Jaegers and Agatha. "Is it all right if I tell them the truth about you, Agatha?"

The Jaegers shrugged and looked at her. Agatha frowned deeper, looking more serious than he'd ever seen her. "I don't really know, Emmett. If the word ever got out, I'd be in extreme danger. You must know that."

"I do. But I would trust them with my life, Agatha. They've already taken tremendous risks for me. Holly and Emily stuck by me, even after Elias and Othar killed our parents. And Marty and Clara have both saved my life. I'm positive I can convince them to keep mum. Besides, we don't have to search out my uncle. It was our original goal, but now – well, I don't want to end up as his pawn either." He sighed. "I believe that all any of us really wants anymore is to settle down again. Live almost like we did in Hill Valley – except that I won't be blowing up everything all the time."

Agatha softened a bit. "I can understand that. I'd still prefer to keep it as quiet as possible, though. Avoid telling them unless you absolutely have to."

"All right, I will – Lady Heterodyne."

"Don't you start."

Emmett smiled. "What amazes me is that you haven't been discovered before this point. Surely Dr. Beetle would have noticed something. The Heterodynes were famous for having strong Sparks." He smirked. "Don't tell me you had a Spark inhibitor too."

Agatha's eyes went wide. "How – how–"

"Great Scott, I was only joking!" They stared at each other for a moment. "What was yours?"

"A locket Uncle Barry gave me. Thieves stole it and smashed it."

"Mine was a pocket watch my mother gave me – from my uncle Wulfenbach, though she didn't tell me that at the time. I did the smashing myself."

"I see." Agatha became thoughtful. "I wonder if the Baron used my uncle's design or came up with his own?"

"Damned if I know – and I'm not particularly interested in reconstructing it to find out." Emmett became curious. "So what really happened to you on Castle Wulfenbach?"

Saturday, March 28th

10:04 A.M.

"Vell, dat vent goot!"

The Jaegers smiled at each other, very pleased with themselves. Now they had two Heterodynes – one a well-built girl with wonderful taste in weapons, the other a boy related to their current master. "It'z goot dey's getting along for now," Dimo said, looking back at the wagon. Emmett and Agatha were inside, still sharing stories. "Dough I kind ov miss seeing de heirs fight. Goot entertainment."

"Yah," Maxim nodded. "But dere vill be fighting later." He beamed. "Right now, ve have girls!"

Oggie snickered. "Hey, Dimo, how are tings vit de Countess?"

"Oh, she's all over me!" Dimo assured them. "Ve just gots to be careful of de hozband."

"Ah, yeah, de hozband–"

A black blur suddenly ran past them, giggling madly. As it passed by, a pale hand shot out and grabbed Maxim's hat. "Whee!" the blur cried, racing away into the maze of wagons.

The Jaegers stared after it for a moment, too stunned to do anything. Then Oggie looked at Maxim. "Hyu're haffing a hard time keeping dat today."

Maxim's expression turned murderous. "Get beck here!" he roared, chasing after the blur.

He followed the figure through the campsite, weaving between wagons and occasionally jumping over people. The performers, seeing his expression, wisely kept out of his way. Dis vun vill pay, Maxim thought viciously, listening to the person laugh. Dis vun vill pay! Nobody takes my hat!

Finally, he cornered the figure by the Baba Yaga. To his surprise, it was none other than Emmett's friend Holly who had taken his hat. She posed with it, smirking. Huh. I tought she vas schmoter den dat. "Dat's my hat," he snarled, advancing on her.

"Yup," Holly agreed, looking shockingly collected. "A very nice hat too." She took it off briefly to examine it. "Could use a nice feather, though. Anyway, I suppose you want it back."

"Yes! Giff it now!" Maxim grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. "Or hy'll–"

"Don't worry, you'll get it back – I just want you to do something for me first," Holly said, wincing a little at his manhandling.

"Vhat?" Maxim hissed, seriously thinking of taking her smirking little head off.

Holly suddenly grabbed his head. "This," she whispered.

And then she kissed him.

Maxim froze. Despite all his bragging, he had never actually been kissed by a girl. At least, not that he could remember anymore. Vhat – vhat – vhat do hy do? Hy – hy can't kill her now! Dis iz – dis iz –

Dis iz nize. . . .

Holly broke the kiss a few seconds later, smiling mischievously. "Catch you later, Max," she said, returning his hat to his head. She went inside, humming to herself. Maxim remained outside, still frozen with shock.

A minute later, the other Jaegers, Agatha, and Emmett caught up to him. "What's going on?" Agatha demanded. "We heard you yell something, and the next thing we know, you're gone!"

"Somebody stole his hat," Dimo explained.

"Oh boy – tell me you didn't chew them up too badly, Maxim."

"What is it with you lot and hats?" Emmett asked, shaking his head.

"Ve likes dem," Oggie said simply.

"She – she kissed me," Maxim finally got out.

"Who did what?" Agatha asked, startled.

"She kissed me. Miz Holly kissed me," Maxim repeated, a huge grin appearing on his face.

Dimo and Oggie stared. "Hyu're lying," Oggie accused.

"She – Holly!" Emmett called.

Holly poked her head out the door. "Yes?" she asked, grinning.

"Did you – did you just – did you just kiss Maxim?"

"Yup," Holly nodded. "Think I bruised my lips a little on his teeth." Maxim grinned even wider at that.

Agatha goggled. "You – why?"

"He's handsome! Er, not that you two aren't," Holly quickly added, seeing the other two Jaegers. "Maxim's just more my type."

Maxim preened, smirking at his fellows. "Hy told hyu hy vas de leading man type!"

"You kissed a Jaeger," Agatha said, stunned.

"You – are you crazy, is that your problem?!" Emmett demanded. "You're going around kissing Jaegers now?!"

"Just the one Jaeger," Holly protested. "And I lived through the experience, you may note."

"Only until Emily gets wind of this. She's going to have a fit!"

"And you're soo much better at keeping her cool, calm, and collected," Holly retorted.

Emmett sighed and put a hand to his head. "I'm not going to get anywhere like this, am I? Never mind. Where are Emily and the others? We need to talk."

"I don't know. Probably doing chores. I just escaped from Master Payne myself."

Emmett looked at the Jaegers. "Would you mind rounding them up? This is important."

"Not at all! Ve hunt!" They took off, Maxim bragging about his kiss to Dimo and Oggie.

Holly looked on incredulously. "They listen to you now?"

Emmett nodded. "We had a chat recently. What your mother suspected was true."

Holly's eyes bugged out of her head. "So you really are–" Emmett nodded. "Whoa. I think I'll go help the Jaegers find everybody." She jogged off after them, shaking her head. "This is either very good or very bad. . . ."

"I'm leaning toward 'very bad' myself," Emmett muttered as he watched her go. "Especially in regards to Clara. . . ."

Agatha put a hand on his shoulder. "If she really does care for you, she'll forgive you."

"I certainly hope so."

"YOU KISSED A JAEGER?!"

Holly came streaking back into camp, a horrified Emily on her heels. "Are you insane?! These are Jaegers! Creatures of death and destruction! They go bump in the night! And you're kissing them?!"

"He's cute!" Holly yelled back, trying to escape around the wagon. "And he's actually rather polite!"

"He's a Jaeger! If he politely kills you, it's still killing you!"

Emmett and Agatha barely held back their laughter. "Your sister does freak out a lot, doesn't she?" Agatha commented.

"It's all because she cares." Emmett caught his sister as they circled the wagon again. "Emily, calm down. We all know there's no point in arguing with her once she's set her mind to something."

"She kissed a Jaeger!" Emily yelled, staring at him in shock.

"We're also fully aware she's insane. But she survived with her face intact, so I say she came out on top."

"And Maxim seemed to enjoy that kiss, you know," Holly added, looking a little hurt.

"Oh, hy sure did!"

The Jaegers returned, dragging along Marty and Clara. Maxim beamed at Holly. "Hyu iz a goot kisser."

"See? He liked it. I'm on his good side now," Holly said. "Calm down, Emily."

"What the hell is going on?" Marty demanded. "I'm just getting out of the bathroom when these two guys drag me away, insisting that we need to talk to you. And Maxim was bragging that Holly was all over him – was that true?!"

"One goddamned kiss," Holly muttered. "What's wrong with kissing constructs anyway?"

"They're not constructs, they're Jaegers!" Emily said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Well, technically, they are constructs," Emmett pointed out. A sly smile appeared on his face. "And I find I must agree with Holly – nothing wrong with kissing constructs."

Clara turned pink. "Well. . . . I was helping the cook prepare lunch – can we please just hear what's wrong?" She looked nervously at Oggie, who was leering at her. "I'm feeling a tad uncomfortable."

Emmett shot the Jaeger a death glare. "Eyes up, Ognian." Oggie looked back up, smirking. "Thanks for getting them for me. I suppose I'll talk to you all later."

"Yes – I've still got that Van Rijn book," Agatha grinned. Emmett grinned back. "Good luck with your friends." She and the Jaegers headed off.

"You're giving them orders now? Okay, now I really want an explanation," Marty asked, looking baffled.

"You'll get one. Come inside, everyone. I don't want the whole circus to hear."

They headed inside. Emmett indicated for everyone to take a seat. "All right. I've recently discovered something about my parentage, and I thought you all should know." He took a deep breath. "Everyone – what we suspected in Hill Valley is true. Elias Von Braun is not my father. Barry Heterodyne was."

Clara's jaw dropped. "You're – you're a Heterodyne?" she whispered, stunned.

"And a Wulfenbach," Emmett added.

"Het – Wulfen – How?" Clara demanded.

"My mother – you know how we told you she was the sister of a Spark before? Well, that Spark was Baron Wulfenbach. She had an affair with Barry Heterodyne shortly before he disappeared. Nine months later, I was born."

Clara stared at him for a long moment. "How long have you know about this?"

"Mother told us most of it," Emmett confessed. "The Jaegers confirmed my Heterodyne lineage earlier today." He took her hands in his. "I understand if you're angry at me, and I'm sorry we kept this from you before. But the issue of my parentage is – rather complicated."

"I should say! Heterodyne and Wulfenbach?" Clara shook her head. "I'm a little upset, yes, but I do understand why you'd want to keep that quiet!" She gave him a stern look. "Have you been keeping any other secrets from me?"

"No. I swear on my Spark we told you everything else." Holly, Emily, and Marty nodded their agreement. "I'm sorry again. I don't want us to keep secrets."

Clara smiled slightly. "It's all right. I suppose I should be grateful you trusted me enough to tell me everything else."

Emmett released her hands and hugged her. "Well, from now on, you're privy to everything."

"I should hope so, after last night." Emmett blushed hard at that.

Marty frowned. "Does Agatha know about all this?" he asked. Emmett nodded. "Why? Did you tell her for some reason?"

"I had no choice – the Jaegers told her about me first," Emmett said. "We can trust her to keep the secret, though."

"Yes, otherwise the Jaegers would–"

Marty stopped, the wheels turning in his head. "Holy shit," he breathed. "She's a Heterodyne too, isn't she?"

Emmett wasn't sure how to respond. On the one hand, Agatha hadn't been too keen on the idea of him telling his friends about her. On the other, he had expected them to figure it out eventually. "Er–"

"Come on, Emmett, the evidence is all there! The Jaegers think she's special too. And last night, when I noticed your humming–"

"My humming? What does that have to do with anything?"

"You and Agatha have the exact same Sparky hum. Yours is in a lower key, of course, but the music is identical. It must be a family trait."

Emmett thought for a moment. "Great Scott, you're right! That's what we must have heard at the Silverodeon."

"Good Lord, Agatha's family?" Emily squeaked.

"Yes," Emmett said. "She's my cousin – Bill and Lucrezia's daughter. I startled her and the Jaegers this morning when I came over for another session with the Van Rijn book."

"This is heavy," Marty said, shaking his head. "I wonder what the circus people would think if they knew they had two real Heterodynes working for them?"

"I don't know, and I don't want to know," Emmett said firmly. "Agatha will have my head if she thinks I told you. She wants her identity kept under wraps as much as – well, I do."

"I bet," Holly said. "Cripes. . . ."

"So now what?" Marty asked. "I mean, we can't tell anyone about any of this. . . ."

"I just wanted to let you all know," Emmett admitted. "You're my friends – I didn't want to keep things from you."

"Yeah. Now we know that if any weird shit happens, you'll be the cause," Holly grinned.

"Me? This from the girl who stole Maxim's hat and then kissed him."

"Don't remind me," Emily groaned.

"What's so wrong with Maxim?"

"I'm just worried he'll shred you eventually," Emily said, trembling. "Don't Jaegers live for violence?"

"These Jaegers have been very well-behaved, according to the rest of the circus."

"But–"

"Relax, Emily. He tries to shred me, I'll do unpleasant things to certain portions of his anatomy," Holly assured her friend.

"Couldn't you just order him not to hurt her?" Marty asked Emmett.

"I doubt he'd listen," Emmett said with a sigh. "Whatever control I have over them has its limits. Besides, I'm not interested in giving them orders."

"You sure? Seems like a damn useful thing to me."

"I meant more acting like a Heterodyne heir. Besides, Agatha was the one born in wedlock. She's the one they should follow."

"What do the Jaegers think of all this?" Clara asked.

"They prefer Agatha as well, thankfully. They've known her for longer, anyway. They did warn me that any other Jaegers we may meet – especially the generals – might want me. We talked for a while before I came over here – apparently, girls are rare in the Heterodyne lineage, and generally considered weaker than the boys."

Agatha, Clara, and Holly looked outraged. "Sexist bastards," Holly grumbled.

"Heh – well, our Jaegers don't think like them," Emmett assured them. "They adore Agatha. Her obsession with death rays suits them perfectly."

"I should think so. But what happens to you now, then? I mean, you are a Heterodyne, bastard or no."

"I'm basically being used as back-up. If anything does happen to Agatha, I'm expected to come up and be the next heir. But until then, I just – I just want to be me. I just want a chance to live a – relatively – normal life."

"Bet that doesn't make you popular with the Jaegers."

"They consider me something of a pussy, yes."

"Pussy? You're the kid who discuses using poison gas on people pretty regularly, and you're obsessed with lightning and electricity as well. Whatever else you are, you're not a pussy," Marty argued.

Emmett chuckled. "Nice to hear someone doesn't think so."

"So, does this mean we're staying with the circus for now?" Clara asked.

"Until past Balan's Gap," Emmett nodded. "Perhaps even to Mechanicsburg. I'd – I'd kind of like to visit my father's old home."

"What about our uncle?" Emily asked.

"I don't know if contacting him would be such a good idea anymore. If he discovers my real father is Barry, I'll probably be forced into the role of heir. I don't want to be used like that."

"Are you sure?" Holly asked, frowning. "Your mother–"

"Would understand, I'm sure. Mother wouldn't have wanted me to seek out the Baron if it meant putting me in some kind of danger."

Holly nodded understandingly. "You're right. Well then – to Mechanicsburg."

Emmett smiled. "To Mechanicsburg."

Tuesday, March 31st, 1895

Balan's Gap

7:27 A.M.

Emmett sighed in relief as the wagon train started moving again. "Looks like Master Payne's plan worked," he said, setting the Baba Yaga back in motion.

"Good. I was kind of worried what would happen if it didn't," Marty admitted, sitting next to him.

"I'm sure Master Payne had a Plan B. But yes, I'm glad it worked too. Hopefully we'll be through Sturmhalten and back on the road in a day or two."

"Bit of a shame, though," Marty admitted. "It would have been nice to see the actual town."

"Far too dangerous under the current circumstances. Maybe someday in the future."

They traveled for a little while in peace, Emmett steering the wagon while Marty played guitar. Around midday, however, there was a sudden call to stop. Puzzled, Emmett brought the Baba Yaga to a halt. "What happened?" he called to Dame Aedith's wagon.

"I don't know!" Dame Aedith called back. "Looks like more of Prince Aaronev's men, though."

"Uh-oh."

"What is it?" Emily asked, poking her head out the window.

"I've got a nasty hunch Master Payne's plan didn't work quite as well as he thought it would," Emmett confessed. "Stay on the alert."

A few minutes later, Maxim appeared on the scene, looking quite put out. "What happened?" Emmett asked, getting a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Tings didn't vork out," Maxim snarled. "De prince iz sendink us avay, just like Meester Payne asked."

"Shit," Marty swore quietly. "Did he find out about Moxana?"

"Dunno, bot hyu guys gotta perform for him tonight."

"Wonderful," Emmett groaned. "Well, let's hope he really does have a Plan B for all of this."

"Don't vorry. He's a schmot guy. He'll know vhat to do." Maxim smiled. "I chust vant to say gootbye to my sveetie."

Holly emerged from the wagon, looking worried. "You're not really leaving, are you?"

"Und leaffe Miz Agatha und Meester Emmett here alone? Not to mention hyu," Maxim said, tousling her hair. Emmett privately marveled at how human he was acting. Having someone love him seemed to have tamed Maxim just a bit. "Ve's chust gonna make ourselves scarce for avhile."

Holly kissed him. "Well, be careful out there."

"Vhat's de fon in being careful?" Maxim retorted, playfully punching her arm.

Holly smirked and punched back. "Yeah, why the hell am I saying that to a Jaeger? Just come back in one piece."

"And be careful enough not to get caught," Emmett added quickly.

"Sure ting. Ve sees hyu all later." Giving Holly another punch, he left.

"He doesn't get too rough with you, does he?" Emily asked as Holly got back on board. "I know he's a Jaeger, but still. . . ."

"He certainly doesn't go as hard as he would with Dimo and Oggie," Holly said, smiling reassuringly. "And he knows not to play too rough – the last time he tried to bite me, he got kicked where it counts. Not even a Jaeger could mistake that message. I can take care of myself."

"You kicked a Jaeger where it counts and you survived? You can take care of yourself," Marty said, impressed.

Holly grinned. "Well, it helped that he couldn't move for a few minutes. And I let him take a sucker-punch at me, just to relieve his feelings a bit."

Emily thunked her head against the window frame. "You're impossible."

Clara stuck her head out of the door. "So we're going to be putting on a show in Sturmhalten? That's not good."

"No, it isn't," Emmett said, scowling. "I guess we could hide Moxana, and pray they don't search the wagons. . . ." He looked at the Baba Yaga. "I think I'll make a few booby traps for this place, just in case."

"Good idea," Holly said. "I've got a few notions. . . ."

"I wonder what show we'll be doing," Marty said as the Sparks began brainstorming.

"Nothing too silly, I'm sure," Emily replied. "After all, we'll be performing for the rulers."

Clara snorted. "Oh, you'd be surprised. . . ."

The wagon train eventually restarted, changing course into Sturmhalten. Marty took over driving the Baba Yaga while Emmett and Holly hid their recent work and booby-trapped the wagon. By the time they were done, they were in Sturmhalten. Marty whistled as they found a place to stop and make camp. "Nice place."

Emily looked around. "Look at all the shops! No place we stopped before had this many shops!"

"Definitely a tourist town," Holly said. "Look at how many of them sell souvenirs."

Dame Aedith walked back to them. "Master Payne and some of the others went to see the royal theater," she said. "How's everything back here?"

"Fine so far," Clara said.

"Need your wagon booby-trapped?" Emmett asked.

"Thanks, but I took care of that years ago," Dame Aedith smiled. "Anyway, some of the others wanted me to pass along that the cook's come down with something. So dinner will probably be late."

"Gotcha," Marty nodded. "How are you doing?"

"Something feels – off – about this place," Dame Aedith admitted. "I suspect we have vampires."

"Of course," Holly said, trying to hide her sarcasm. "We're sure you can handle them."

Dame Aedith beamed. "Thanks. If you need any of my protections, just come to the wagon. I have to get my stake-gun ready." She walked off, humming to herself.

"I think she likes it when it looks like we're in mortal danger," Marty muttered.

"She's Mad. She's got a point, though," Holly said. "Something does feel kind of off about this place. Not Passholdt-level off, but. . . ."

"Let's hope the royals only want one performance, then," Marty said. "And – Emmett, you're humming again. What are you doing?"

"Redesigning the lightning generator I was working on," Emmett said, rearranging some wires. "I'm getting that off feeling too. I planned to build the lightning gun separately after I got the generator working properly, but now – Best to have a weapon capable of dealing with most any threat."

"A lightning gun?! Isn't that overreacting just a tad?!" Emily demanded.

"After Passholdt, nothing is overreacting." Clara nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

After a while, Master Payne and his group returned to the wagons. "It's a nice theater," he announced to everyone, "but Aaronev is extremely critical of a bad show – to the point of having installed a gun in the top box." There were a few uneasy looks. "I want everyone rehearsing their roles for the rest of the day. This show has to be perfect."

"What play are we doing?" someone asked.

"Socket Wench of Prague," Payne admitted. A ripple of giggles went through the crowd. "Yes, yes, I know, but it's a command performance. Now, I think we can keep the usual parts – Agatha as Lucrezia, Lars as Bill, Andre as Barry, Arthur as Klaus–"

"Arthur's sick," Dame Aedith spoke up. "The poor fool can't even manage one of his famous pies."

"What? Damn!" Master Payne glared off into the distance. "And we can't exactly cut Klaus's part – not unless I want to end up dodging bullets. . . ."

His eyes fell on Emmett and his friends, who were watching the proceedings from a short distance away. He stormed over and thrust a copy of the script into Emmett's hands. "Here. You're Klaus."

"What?" Emmett blurted, startled.

"You have a passing resemblance to the Baron. You'll do. It's not a big part, but it has some important lines."

"I'll help you rehearse," Abner said, smiling very strangely. "You and Agatha both. It's a very – different – play."

"Er – thanks."

Emily cocked her head as she read the script's cover. "Master Payne?" she said, waving a bit to get his attention. "There's a typo here. You forgot an 'r' on the cover."

Payne took another look. "No, I didn't."

"Socket Wrench?"

"Wench. Socket Wench."

Emily blinked, then frowned at Marty. "I said Socket Wench before," he said, shrugging.

"But – I heard Wrench! Why is it–"

Her eyes went wide. "Oh my God, this is a dirty play!" she squeaked.

"Emily, it can't be that bad," Emmett said philosophically, flipping through the pages. "I mean, we are performing this for–"

He stopped dead. "What?" Holly asked, trying not to giggle.

"Grease – pit – fight – in – corsets," Emmett stammered, staring at the page.

Marty snorted. "Oh yeah. That's one of the best parts."

"Oh my God," Emily moaned.

"I do get to introduce this one, right?" Marty asked, smirking.

"Yes, but I want you practicing the song this afternoon too. I don't want anyone getting hurt. The same with your act, Holly."

"Sure thing, Master Payne," Holly said, saluting.

"Here guys, let's go rehearse," Abner said, pulling Emmett and Agatha toward his wagon.

"If I die of shock, Clara gets my Jules Verne book," Emmett called back to his friends. "The rest of you may divide my possessions as you see fit."

"You'll be fine," Holly told him. More quietly, she added, "Though I wish Maxim was around to see this!"

Tuesday, March 31st

6:36 P.M.

"Why, Lucrezia! How good to see you, my lady."

"Lucrezia" giggled as she extended a hand. "Klaus! Is that a wrench in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

"Klaus" winked. "Can it not be both?"

The audience laughed while "Bill" scowled at them from his position on the table. "Klaus, Lucrezia and I were in the middle of an experiment."

"Klaus" smirked. "So I see. Truth be told, Bill, I never pinned you down as one for biology."

"Oh, he's quite good at it," "Lucrezia" assured him. "He says it's not that different from mechanical work. He knows exactly how to put Tab A into Slot B."

"Without Barry's assistance?"

The audience roared. "Bill" turned red. "Doubtless you've only conducted this sort of experiment with animals! Or maybe the Jaegermonsters!"

"Klaus" rolled his eyes. "You are in a tetchy mood, aren't you?"

"He's just upset that my experiments always come out on top," "Lucrezia" smirked.

"Klaus" leered. "I certainly wouldn't mind one of your experiments coming on top of mine," he growled, pulling "Lucrezia" into a tight embrace.

"For science, of course?" "Lucrezia" replied mildly.

"Of course, of course for science!"

There was a sudden "bang!" from the other end of the stage. "There they are, the twisted fiends!" roared Professor Moonsock, leading the angry villagers. "What is the meaning of that twisted creation in our fields?"

"It's only a ambulatory rocket launcher!" "Lucrezia" protested. "It shoots rockets made of finest sausage! I thought you people might actually like this one!"

"Those rockets are not made out of sausage! Sausage never stands that straight! I know that from personal experience." Moonsock sighed deeply. "My husband has never been a good cook." She scowled at "Lucrezia." "But never mind! Those rockets, whatever they're made out of, have burned our homes and farms! Now we shall burn yours!"

"Klaus" turned white. "Well, Lucrezia, my dear, I'm sure you can handle this," he said, starting to edge offstage.

"Yeah, run, you coward!" someone in the audience called.

"But Klaus–!"

"I'm afraid my sausage isn't standing straight enough either! Good day to you, my lady!" He ran offstage to a mixture of laughter and jeers.

Marty was waiting for him, smirking. "Love 'em and leave 'em, eh, you rake?"

"Great Scott. . . ." Emmett wiped the sweat off his face. "I – I was doing that with my – my cousin. . . ."

"Relax, Emmett. You did great." Marty playfully punched him in the arm. "I guess you do have a dirty mind under that Spark!"

The teenager managed a weak smile. "The sausage jokes were kind of funny. . . ."

"I'm never going to be able to eat sausage again!"

Emily ran over to them, pale as a ghost. "Can you hear what they're saying out there? Can you?!"

"Emily, I was just out there. I can hear what they're saying quite well."

"It's – it's – 'is that a wrench in your pocket. . . ?'"

Emmett turned green. "No offense, but you're never allowed to say that to me ever again."

"You don't think any of this is funny?" Marty asked incredulously.

"I – I laugh, but then I'm horrified at myself for laughing," Emily admitted.

Marty shook his head. "Emily, we've got to loosen you up."

"I've been trying to do that for years," Holly said, popping her head out of the rafters. "She's a lost cause, Marty."

"What are you doing up there?" Emmett asked, frowning. "Shouldn't you be with the show outside?"

"I skipped out," Holly said. "To tell the truth, I'm hoping to find Maxim or his friends up here. This play would be a Jaeger's cup of tea."

"And you're wondering why I'm horrified," Emily said to Marty.

"You actually miss him, don't you?" Emmett asked Holly.

Holly sighed. "I know it seems strange, to miss a Jaeger, but – really, Maxim's a decent sort."

"He's a ferocious killing machine," Marty reminded her.

"But he's not evil. He was polite to us – as polite as a Jaeger gets. And he didn't kill any of us." Holly smirked. "And honestly, even with those fangs, he's a pretty damn good kisser."

"We do not need to hear about your Jaeger love life," Emily said, making a face.

Emmett shook his head. "As long as you're happy. . . ." He looked over at Marty, who was peeking at the stage through a gap in the curtains. "What's going on out there?"

"Agatha and Moonsock are arguing – Agatha's getting madder and madder. Now she's going into full Sparky mode–"

"KNEEL, YOU MISERABLE MINION!"

The group jumped. "Whoa! She can really pack a punch when she wants to!"

"I know," Emmett agreed, amazed. "Anyone else almost obey?"

Emily nodded. "She's a good actress."

"She is a Spark," Marty said. "I wonder if you or Holly could pull that off, Emmett."

"Not like her," Holly said, dropping out of the rafters. "You'd have to be extremely angry to sound like her."

"I agree. I doubt either of us could dredge up the required rage, acting or no," Emmett said with a slight laugh. "How did the audience take it?"

Marty looked. "Holy shit! They're all kneeling!"

"What? No way!" Emmett looked past Marty. Sure enough, the entire audience was on its knees, staring at the stage almost fearfully. "Great Scott. I wonder if Agatha's noticed."

"Probably not – she's still going strong," Marty noted. Looking up at the top box, he added, "The royals noticed though! They're having some sort of argument up there."

"Oh no," Emmett muttered. "I certainly hope Agatha isn't in trouble."

"She can take care of herself – she got off Wulfenbach's airship in one piece, didn't she?" Holly said. "I'd be more concerned about the royals."

"What's going on now?"

Emmett's face lit up. "Clara!" He went over and hugged his beloved warmly. "I thought you were with the sideshow outside?"

"We've closed down – all the commoners are heading back home." Clara peeked out through the curtains. "How's the play? I hope I didn't miss your part."

"You did, thank God," Emmett admitted, rolling his eyes.

"Aww. I wanted to see you all done up as Klaus."

Emmett smirked and presented himself for inspection. "Behold, my lady! Klaus Wulfenbach, tyrannical ruler of the free world!"

Clara looked him up and down. Emmett was wearing a white shirt, green vest, and brown pants. "Must be casual day on the Castle," she needled him gently.

"Well, it is a dirty play."

"Tell her about the sausages," Holly urged with a grin.

"Oh no, we've ruined enough appetites today!" Emily said. "And–"

A loud "BANG!" from the front of the theater cut Emily off. "Hello, ladies and gentlemen!" a horrifyingly familiar voice called.

The group stared at each other, a sick feeling in their stomachs. "Othar," Holly whispered. "Damn it. . . ."

"What are you doing here?" Agatha's voice demanded from the other side of the curtain. "You told me you were going to leave me alone for three months!"

"I'm sorry, Agatha, but never fear! I'm not here to bother you," Othar replied. "We're here to erase another great evil from the world!"

"We?"

"Oh, that's right! I never got to introduce you to my other spunky sidekick! Agatha, may I introduce ELIAS VON BRAUN!"

"Why can't I kill the actors again, Othar?"

Emmett got a cold chill down his spine. "Great Scott, not him. . . ."

Clara peeked out through the curtain. Othar was standing in front of the stage, posturing as usual. Next to him was a brown-haired man with a thick beard, wearing a heavily-stained coat and carrying a shotgun. His brown eyes were shining with madness. "That's your father?" she asked, feeling a chill. "Or, at least, the man you thought was your father?"

Emmett looked as well. "That's him," he groaned. "Of all the rotten luck. . . ."

"Because they're actors, Elias," Othar was saying, patting his sidekick on the shoulder. "They just pretend to be horrible villains on stage. They're all very nice, ordinary people in real life. Plus, I get free popcorn from them. You'll offer my sidekick free popcorn as well, won't you?"

"Uh – okay," Moonsock said slowly.

"Things are starting to get boring," a voice called warningly.

"What, having two psychopaths burst into your personal theater isn't thrilling enough for you?" Holly muttered, voice dripping sarcasm.

"Aha! Just the man we've come to see! Your reign of evil is at an end, Prince Aaronev Sturmvoraus! No longer will you menace these innocent people!"

"Your lot deserve to be wiped off the face of the earth!" Elias agreed. There was the sound of running feet. "I'll blow your–"

There was another loud "BANG!" "I believe I've got the drop on both of you," Aaronev said, sounding mildly amused. "Tarvek, please alert the guards and tell them we have a situation."

"Hah! Guards cannot save you now, Sturmvoraus!" Othar cried. "Elias and I are the best at what we do!"

"I'm sure," Emily whispered, shuddering.

"That's right! I killed my own whore of a wife because she gave me a Spark for a child! Idiot bitch thought he needed protecting!"

Emmett stood stock still for a moment. Then a very ugly scowl appeared on his face. "Marty, I need you to help me get something," he hissed, eyes narrowing.

"Can do," Marty nodded, his hands balling into fists.

"Anything we can do to help?" Holly asked, she, Clara, and Emily all turning brilliant scarlet.

"Just make sure they stay in the theater," Emmett said, pulling Marty further backstage.

Tuesday, March 31st

6:56 P.M.

Out in the main theater, Elias Von Braun smirked at the faces gawking at him. He knew a few of them thought he was insane, but he didn't care. He and Othar – they were the only real sane people around. They knew what to do with Sparks! He glanced back at the stage. If only Othar would let me shoot a few of those actors as well. Even if they aren't Sparks, they're glorifying the Madboys. That's almost as bad.

Othar came up beside him, looking mournful. "Yes, our lives have been cruelly marked by the evilness of people such as you, Aaronev," he said dramatically, turning in a small circle. "Those who meddle with the common people, never caring what they may think. Those who lie and scheme their way to power! Which is why it is our solemn mission to see that no one ever suffers like that again!" He marched out as close to the stage as he could get while still being out of the range of Aaronev's gun, arms spread wide. "And I'm wrong, may lightning strike me down!"

KRACK!

Elias saw what was coming just moments before it happened. He threw Othar to the ground as electricity arced over their heads. A few audience members screamed and ducked as the actors scrambled out of the way.

Then the curtains parted, and Emmett Brown appeared on stage, holding a large metallic gun covered in wires. He scowled at the two heroes. "Hello, Elias."