I was honestly thinking of not continuing this story. Many didn't like them getting married so quickly and many didn't like the idea of them leaving Georgia and I was just beginning to doubt myself about the whole thing. But I still have my ideas and I've been thinking about this plot more and more and I'm not able to just up and quit this one. To those reading and enjoying this story, thank you so, so much for your continued support and encouragement.
…
Chapter Nine.
Beth's quiet. Quiet in a way that he's not used to from her. And it's not as if she's ignoring him. She still talks with him and sings her songs but she does it so much more quietly nowadays and it doesn't take a genius to figure out why. Beth has agreed to come to California with him because they're married and she's his wife and it's not like she could have refused but Daryl watches her and thinks that maybe she could have. He'll be in California for a few months but he said he would come back here to Georgia and maybe Beth could stay here for the months he was gone.
It isn't ideal. There's nothing about the idea that he likes. In just a short amount of time, he has gotten so attached to Beth and he can't imagine going months without seeing her.
But he looks at her and listens to how quiet she is and if staying here in Georgia will make her happy then maybe he should make the suggestion he go to California by himself.
…
She's singing Judy Garland – that trolley song again, definitely one of her favorites – as she's at the stove, stirring a pot of oatmeal. Daryl isn't one to linger in bed, getting up with the sun, but this morning, he can't seem to pull himself from the mattress.
It's hot and sticky in the room that morning and even with the windows open, the breeze blowing is hot and humid and offers them no reprieve from the relentless summer heat. They have a couple of fans – one directed towards the bed and the other in the kitchen – but even as he feels it blow onto his skin, Daryl still feels sweaty and uncomfortable and he can't help but wonder if it gets hot like this out in California.
He turns his head on the pillow and looks at Beth's backside. She's taken to wearing his white undershirts to bed and it's definitely not something he finds any problem with because it's big on her and the collar slips past one of her shoulders and it grazes her thighs and he rolls onto his side, his eyes never leaving the sight of her bare legs.
And then, as if she can sense him awake and looking at her, Beth turns then and her eyes fall into his. Her cheeks blush a faint pink and she gives him a small smile – almost shy though it's definitely not the first time he's been caught staring at her. His own lips twitch in response but it fades the longer he looks at her.
Can he really go to California without her?
Now that he has her – now that he finally has something so good in his life – it's made him a selfish man and now, he can't imagine being without her.
…
He's running a little late that morning and his first stop is to the barn to milk the couple of cows. He's sitting on the stool, squeezing the udders gently, slowly filling the buckets with milk when he hears the familiar thump on the barn floor.
A moment later, Hershel appears in the stall and gives Daryl a smile. "Morning," he greets.
"Mornin'," Daryl greets back and he's not sure why but he suddenly feels nervous because not only is this man his employer but he's his father-in-law and this man holds a lot of power right now over Daryl.
"Been wanting to talk with you," Hershel says, adjusting his crutches as he lowers himself onto a nearby hay bale. Daryl gives a single head nod and continues to squeeze the udders, very aware of Hershel watching him. "I heard Beth talking with Annette in the kitchen earlier," he began and despite the heat in the barn, Daryl suddenly feels himself go cold and his hands falter a little in their work. "Annette and I have some money in the bank that we had put there for each of our children. I'm going to go to town and withdraw Beth's share."
Daryl isn't sure what to say to that but he stops milking and lifts his eyes to Hershel.
"You don't gotta do that," Daryl says.
"It's her money and with you two leaving, she needs to take that with her," Hershel says and he is about to continue but Daryl shakes his head, cutting him off.
"I ain't talked with her 'bout it yet but… I'm thinkin' that Beth can stay here and I can go out to California without her," he says and it's the first time he's said that thought out loud and when he does, he can feel bile rising in the back of his throat along with it.
Hershel just blinks at him and it looks as if the man is speechless. Daryl slowly begins squeezing his fingers again, getting back to work. He had expected Hershel to say something to that but he doesn't and Daryl sits there, thinking that maybe Hershel likes the idea too much to argue with him about it.
…
"Look," Beth says and Daryl stops walking to look at what she's pointing to. "We're going to have a lot of apples to pick this year," she smiles faintly as her fingers graze the small apple, hanging and forming on one of the branches as they take a walk through the orchard. "We pick as many as we can to sell and then, other people from around come to pick their own and pay by the pound. It's a lot of fun. We usually get a band out here to play at night and have a little party of sorts to celebrate the harvest."
Daryl watches her as she begins walking again and he falls into step beside her.
"You're quiet," she notes after a passing minute.
"I ain't the only one," he replies before he can stop himself and Beth doesn't protest exhales a deep breath. "I know you ain't happy, Beth."
Beth stops walking so suddenly as if she has just walked into an invisible wall and she turns to look at him, her mouth hanging open as if she wants to say something but no idea what. Daryl stops and turns towards her so they're facing one another and he shoves his hands in the front pockets of his pants.
He shrugs weakly. "I know when you said you'd marry me, you just assumed we'd be married here and the idea of California came to me after we had already been married so 's my fault. I know that. You never asked for this or want this. 's why I'm thinkin' that when I go to California, I go without you."
Beth is still silent and he looks at her and his words have seemed to make her completely still. She doesn't make a sound and Daryl doesn't make a sound to say anything else.
Finally, he sees her swallow and her lips part. "I know we got married too quickly," she begins and her first words make his stomach fall. Somehow, even though he had been the one to make the suggestion, he had hoped that Beth would refused to agree to it. It looks like she's going to agree to stay though and he'll head west and he'll see her in the spring. "But what I said to you on our wedding night, I meant it Daryl," Beth continues. "I love you. I fell in love with you the second I saw you and I've already told you. You lead and I'll follow." He can see tears glassing in her eyes now as she keeps those big blue eyes of hers settled on his. "So, if you don't want me coming to California with you, Daryl, you own that like a man and don't try to push it on me. If you don't want me coming, you tell me it's what you want and don't assume you know it's what I want when it's not. At all."
She turns without another word and begins to walk down the row, leaving him behind.
And he stands there, watching her walk away from him and he tries to think of the last time he has seen something as terrible as that.
…
She doesn't say a word over dinner. She has roasted one of the rabbits he has hunted along with carrots and potatoes and it's heavy for the heat but he doesn't say anything because it's damn good and in his whole life, he's never eaten as well as he has until coming to the farm.
"Beth, 'm sorry," he said once they're done eating and she's clearing away the dishes from the table and carrying them to sink.
"For what, Daryl?" She asks, turning on him instantly. "If you don't want a wife then you shouldn't have asked me to marry you."
"'s not like I know how to have a wife," he can't help but frown as he stands up from his chair, crossing his arms defensively over his chest.
"And I know how to have a husband?" She snaps back at him. "I do know one thing though that you obviously don't. I'm not just your wife. I'm your partner. And where you go, I go. You can't just leave me behind because you don't feel like dealing with me anymore."
He stares at her for a beat. "'s that what you think?"
Beth just stares at him in return.
"Ever since I mentioned movin' to California, you've been quiet. Don't say you haven't 'cause I know you have been. I know you don't wanna move to California so I was thinkin' you can stay here, where you're happy," he does his best to explain to her but he still doesn't know if it makes any sense. It makes perfect sense to him but he's never been the best with words and talking and saying exactly what he means.
"I wasn't going to disagree. I have been quiet," Beth says. "But Daryl, I'm eighteen years old. In eighteen years, I've never been away from this farm. This is my home. And now, in just a few short months, I'm going to be moving across the country. I'm absolutely terrified. I know absolutely nothing about California or how it will be out there for us but I'm going because it's what you want to do and I trust you completely."
Daryl stands there, looking at her, listening to every single word she says.
"And you can't honestly think I would be happy here without you when there's an entire country between us," she adds in a softer voice.
He can't look away from her and he thinks how maybe, right in that moment, he loves her. He's never been in love before; never really loved another person in this world before except for maybe Merle but this with Beth is obviously so completely different and he can't be sure whether that is what the tightening in his stomach and the thumping of his heart is.
He just knows, looking at her in this moment, that he can't imagine being anywhere without her and he wonders how he got through these thirty-four years without her.
"When we get out there, I promise I'll do anythin' I can to make you happy," he says in a low voice and he thinks he didn't say it loud enough but Beth smiles at him then – a small, faint yet happy smile – and he knows she heard him perfectly.
He rounds the table, finally feeling brave enough to, and she is still smiling when his hands slowly lift to her cheeks, fingers sliding back into her hair and he kisses her.
…
He wakes up to find himself in bed alone. The cabin is still dark – so dark to let him know that it's the middle of the night – and he looks at the empty spot beside him, his hand touching it as if he doesn't fully understand why it's empty.
He frowns, sitting up. Where the hell is Beth? The bathroom is empty and dark and the door stands up so clearly, she's not in there. She's nowhere in the small cabin that he can see once his eyes adjust.
He pulls himself from the bed, finding his boxers on the floor and tugging them on. He looks towards the front door and sees that it's open a crack. Frowning heavier now – more confused than anything – he opens the door and steps outside. The air out here is actually cooler than it is in the cabin and he stands there for a moment, listening to the absolute silence of the night. Even the crickets and the frogs are silent.
"What are you doin'?" He asks when he sees Beth and his sudden appearance and voice startle her. She whips her head around to look at him and gives him a small smile.
She is wearing his tee-shirt again and – he hopes underwear underneath – and she's sitting in the grass, her legs stretched out before her. "I was so hot, I couldn't sleep. And so I came out here to look at the stars."
He comes and sits down next to her as if this is all normal. He lays down on his back and folds his hands behind his head. "Gonna get eaten alive by mosquitos," he tells her. "Can't really blame 'em either. Sweetest tastin' thing out here."
She smiles at that and slowly, she lays down next to him in the grass. "I haven't felt any," she comments quietly. "You were sound asleep when I slipped out. What woke you?"
He shrugs, not really knowing how to answer that even if he does know the answer. He can't sleep without her. In just a short amount of time, he's gotten so used to having her there next to him. He can't even really remember what it was like sleeping before her. In the short weeks they had been married, Beth has nearly wiped out his entire life before her.
He doesn't tell her that though. He has no idea how to tell her something like that.
"See that?" She asks as she points towards the sky and he follows her finger. "The north star. No matter where you are, if you find that star, you can follow it and it will take you home."
Daryl looks at it for a moment. "What if you're already home?" He asks. He already knows all about the star but he likes to hear her voice.
"Then you look at it and know that you'll never be lost."
He turns his head and looks at her then. "Guess you're my north star then."
He has no idea where that came from. He's never said anything like that to another person before. But he looks at Beth and she's not just anyone in his life. She's his wife and he wonders if he'll reach a point where he doesn't have to remind himself of that all of the time.
She doesn't say anything and he wonders if he has just, somehow, said the completely wrong thing but then Beth bursts into the brightest smile that he has seen from her in days and without saying anything, she practically launches herself at him, rolling to him, her hands finding his cheeks, and her lips pressing hard against his.
Daryl's arms instantly wind around her and he holds her pressed to him, his lips eagerly meeting each and every one of her kisses, not even thinking about or worrying about someone looking and seeing them kissing in the grass.
He doesn't know how California will be for them. Has no clue. But in the back of his mind, he seems to know – with complete certainty – that as long as he's got Beth with him, maybe California will be the answer to a question he doesn't even know to ask yet.
…
Thank you very much for reading and please review!
