Hey guys. I'm back with another chapter! SO recapping...Ashley went back to Cali for the rest of the summer where everything happened (Madison). I included some flashback and more 'ghost' Madison. I know that it is also kind of early, but I'm thinking about writing a sequel. WHat do you guys think? Yes, no, maybe?
Any who! I hope you guys like this chapter, you get to see a bit of Ashley's back story.
"We have a heartbeat!"
"BP levels stabilizing!"
"She's back!"
"Hey," I heard a gentle voice in the distance. Eyes slowly fluttered open. A female face began to come into focus in front of me. She had a smile on her face and was wearing a scrub cap.
"Ashley, can you hear me?" I tried to talk, but there was something preventing me. There was tube in my throat. I started to panic and start to gag.
"Ashley, I need you to relax, breath through your nose. Ashley, relax," the doctor said in a calm voice. I tried to calm my breathing as much as I could, but I was scared. The doctor was smiling and nodding her head.
"You're doing great Ashley. Just keep breathing okay. Keep your eyes on me." She motioned for the doctors to continue what they were doing. I felt a little prick below my ribcage. I tried my hardest to keep my eyes on the doctor, but I knew that they were doing surgery on me. Anything could happen at any moment. I don't know how long I was staring at her, before the doctors told her that they were done.
"You did great Ashley. You are one of the strongest patients I've ever meet," she said, "we are going to move you to post-op to keep on eye on you, but for now just rest."
I felt my eyes lids beginning to droop. They must have put something in my IV.
It was dark outside when I woke in my room. Glancing around the room, I noticed that I was alone. Pulling myself up, I felt a pain in my chest.
"Whooo, there. Take it easy," I heard someone say from the doorway. It was the doctor from the operating room. She walked around and helped me sit up carefully. "How are you feeling?"
"A little drowsy. What happened?"
"You were in a car crash."
"No, in the operating room."
"You coded, but we were able to bring you back."
I pulled at the neck of my shirt and glanced down. I noticed a strip of gauze running my ribcage.
"You had a punctured diaphragm and a few broken ribs from the crash, but we fixed that too."
"What about my girlfriend? Is she okay?" I asked desperately praying that she was okay.
"She's in ICU now," the women said.
"But is she okay?"
"We won't know until she wakes up."
"Wakes up?"
"She's in a medically induced coma at the moment. We won't know anything until she is able to respond on her own."
"I want to see her," I said as I started to try to get up again.
"You will, but you can't now," she said pushing me back down.
"Madison…" I felt the tears stream down my face.
I felt the car door slam next to me, shaking me from my thoughts. I glanced over to the driver's side and noticed that my dad had just gotten out of the car. He came around to my side and opened the door for me. I carefully got out and grabbed my bags from the back. The house was just the same when we left. All the memories started flooding back to me. On the porch I could picture Madison waving and smile at me. It made me smile but at the same time it reminded me of what I had lost.
"Hey," I heard my dad say coming up from behind me, "I know it must be hard."
"It is, but I can't keep running from this. I have to face it." When Madison passed away, I couldn't stand to be in the house. Sometime I wouldn't even come home. In the summer I spent every hour somewhere besides my house. I had trouble facing what had happened. I finally understood why my mother had decided to move. It was for me to have a better life.
I drop my bags off in the living room before wandering. I walked out into the neighborhood and strolled along the roads. Some of the neighbors recognized me and waved. I had a few conversations with some of them.
I stopped when I reached an all too familiar house, Madison's. I stood there staring at the cheery red door.
"They would love to see you Ashley," Madison said coming up next to me,
"But what if they don't want to see me. What if they don't forgive me for all the pain that I have caused them?"
"Trust me Ashley. They have forgiven you, but have you forgive yourself."
"I want to, but every time I do, I flashback to the moment where you were lying in the hospital bed. "
"Every day I was there I watched my parents suffer. But, I'm at peace now. I have accepted that and so has my family. Do this for me?"
I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath before starting towards the door. 'For Madison' I repeated myself as I rapped my knuckles on the wood door. The sound echoed throughout the house. A few moments later I heard footstep coming closer. I braced myself for what was about to happen next. The door opened and woman appeared in the frame. Her skin was a dark tan and her hair was a dark brown and her features were similar to Madison. The frown on her face was replaced with a soft smile. Her arms engulfed me in a warm hug.
"Cariño," she said softly, "It's good to see you."
"Mrs. Duarte, I'm sorry that I didn't come sooner."
"It's alright dear. We all handle things differently; I'm just glad that you came back. Do you have time to come in?" I nodded and she led me into the house. It was the almost the same from the last time that I was in it. I took a seat on the couch.
"Would you like anything to drink?"
"Water would be nice, thank you." My eyes scanned the room as Sofia went to get the drinks. My eye caught a picture on the mantle piece. I ran my fingers over the glass frame. Madison's face stared back at me. I traced the outline of her face trying to remember what it felt like. I heard Sofia's footsteps coming back into the room. I quickly put the picture back and returned to the couch. Sofia settled in the chair across from me before handing me a glass of water.
"How have you been?" she asked taking a sip of her water.
"Good, although coming back here has brought back a lot of memories," I replied shifting in my seat.
"It's rough, coming back to a place that was your home for so many years, after an accident like that."
"I was going to come here after the funeral, but I thought that you…"
"That we wouldn't forgive for what happened?" I nodded.
"Ashley…you have nothing to be sorry for. You did everything right. You took care of my daughter. You loved my daughter more than anyone I have ever met. You showed her a new life. You were there when she left this amazing world that you created for her. Every life is paved for us, we don't know what obstacles we might run into or when that paved road stops. Madison's road was a short road, but full of adventure. You have nothing to be ashamed of or sorry for."
"You know sometimes I can see Madison," I said, "standing right in front of me, telling me what to do."
"She's a part of you; you will always have a part of her heart, of her soul." I felt at lump in my throat. I have a part of Madison. She is a part of me. I am a part of her. She will always have a bit of my heart, but it's time that I let my heart carry me towards someone else.
When I got home, I walked up the stair to my old room. Everything was just the way that I had left it. The picture of Madison still hung on the walls, my bed was neatly made, and my old guitar lay in the corner of the room. I let my fingers run over the dusty wood of the guitar. My fingertips began to strum the strings.
Sometimes, I see you
A face in the crowd
Walking into my dreams
Calling out loud
Sometimes I forget
That you've gone away
I wake in the sunshine
To a cold and crying day
Sometimes I hold you
But only in my dreams
Then I wake up and find you've gone
Sometimes I follow
Down the grassy fields
Following your footsteps
That never go away
Sometimes I hear you laughter in my ear
But I know that I can't see you
You're not there at all
Sometimes I hold you close
Kissing your sleeping head
But only in my dreams
When I forget you're gone
(ADAGIO)
"That's the first time in a while since I have seen you pick up your guitar and actually play something," Madison said taking a seat next to me.
"It's the first time that I have felt like playing in forever," I replied staring at the guitar.
"I saw you writing a song about Spencer," she said lying back on the bed.
"You see everything," I said setting the guitar back on the stand.
"It's because I am a part of you," she said.
"Because I loved you," I replied.
"Ashley, you were the most loving, caring, honest person that I have every met. You created a new world for me, and you were there when I had to say 'goodbye' to it. I miss you Ashley, more than ever. But they've treated me pretty well up there. All I want from you is to move on, please. I don't want to you spend the rest of you're thinking of all that things that you could have done, when a perfect opportunity is right in front of you with a person that you care about."
"Spencer…" I let out.
"Yes, Spencer. She cares about you Ashley more than you know."
"She kissed me and I kissed her," I said turning towards Madison.
"And….?"
"It felt right, for some reason. I had no shame or regret. It was just me and her and it felt…perfect…"
"You're meant to be," Madison said sitting up.
"But what about you?"
"I'm not a reason in this anymore. Even though I can see you and talk to you, that shouldn't stop you from wanting to be with someone else. Yes we were in love Ashley, but that love isn't tangible anymore. These feeling that you have for Spencer they are real, tangible. There in the now, but I am in the past."
"If I'm with Spencer…what happens to you?"
"I'll still be here when you need me."
"I miss you Madison, but I think that you're right. Maybe it is time for me to take a step forward."
"I'll be with you every step."
"Ashley, are you talking to someone in there?" I heard my dad ask though my closed door.
"No just talking to myself," I said opening the door. My dad peered into my room to make sure that there was no one in my room.
"Okay well dinner's ready," he said before heading down the stairs. I followed him into the kitchen where he had prepared his famous shipwreck dish. We had a quiet evening after dinner. We threw in a movie and sat on the couch and eat popcorn and ice cream. We talked about colleges, lacrosse, school, and every other thing that we could think of. I missed my dad not being in Ohio with us, but hopefully by the end of this year he will have moved his recorded company into Cleveland.
It was around 10 o'clock when I decided to retire to my room. My dad had already when to bed, since he had work tomorrow with the band that he signed. I started to unpack my things from my bag when my phone starting vibrating against the nightstand. My lips curled into a smile when I read the caller I.D.
"Hello?"
"Ashley! Hey sorry I hope that I didn't wake you or anything," I heard Spencer's voice on the other end.
"Nope, I was just unpacking a few things."
"So how is it, being back in your hometown," she asked.
"It's good. It brings back a lot of good memories, but also the ones that I try not to remember."
"What I did was I thought of all the positive memories that we had together, all the good times that we share, because there are more of those then there are bad."
"Thanks! I think being here, even if I have been only a few days, it has helped me come to terms with what has happened."
"Every little step counts," Spencer's reassuring voice echo throughout my ear.
"Shouldn't you be in bed," I asked looking at my watch.
"Well I just wanted to let you know that I'm coming out to look at UCLA at the end of the summer and I was hoping maybe we could see each other," she asked questioningly.
"Of course, I'd love to see you," I said calmly through the phone, trying to contain my happiness.
"Great! I can't wait, maybe you can show me around a little."
"Maybe…if you're good," I joked.
"Then you won't see me if I'm naughty." I burst into laughter. I could hear Spencer quickly laughing in the background. Spencer and I talked for another hour before I could hear her yawning.
I fell back onto my bed. My memories floated back to the first time that I had laid eyes on Spencer, in all her beauty.
