a/n I'm sorry how long I've taken to put this up. Time has just flown past! Now, enough of the excuses. I'm sorry, but here is a quite late chapter eight. I promise chapter 9 won't take as long – it's already written!
(Just a little note to say that the next chapter is the penultimate.)
Chapter 8
Rachel opens her eyes slowly, feeling a little disorientated in the dark. She's not in her bed, in her room, in her house. It takes her a few seconds for her to work out where she is, but then she instantly relaxes. Rachel's in Eddie's bed, in his room, in his house. She yawns, deeply, as the first light of day bleeds into the dark bedroom. Rachel watches the sun make patterns on the curtains, mesmerised. She glances down at the clock, sighing when she sees the time. It's half six and she really should be getting up right now. Before she can pull the duvet off of her and leave the warmth of the bed, she feels an arm snake around her waist. "What's the time?" Eddie asks, sleepily, and Rachel feels so strange. She's imagined waking up with Eddie by her side many times over the past sixteen years, and now it's actually happening, she can't quite believe it.
"Half six." Rachel replies, quietly, and she hears him groan. "We need to get up."She swings her legs out of the bed, sitting up with her feet touching the cold floor. She turns back, smiling at the sight that greets her. Eddie still has his eyes firmly shut. "Come on, sleepyhead." She teases, gently, rising and crossing to the window. She pulls the curtains open and Eddie screws his eyes tighter shut, reaching out and grabbing a pillow, placing it over his face. Rachel smirks, resting on the window sill, looking back at Eddie failing miserably at his attempt to fall back to sleep.
He gives up after a few minutes, flinging the pillow back across the bed and rubbing his tired eyes with the back of hand. "Remind me again why do we have to be in at such an insane hour?" Eddie grumbles, trying to break the record for the slowest anyone has ever got out of bed.
"Because we're hosting the sports tournament today. The Verity Park kids are meant to arrive at half eight and the events are slated to start at ten past nine." Rachel explains, now looking out of the window at the dead street below. "And I need to stop off at home." She adds, as Eddie finally gets out of the bed. He makes his way over to her, putting his arms around her and gently giving her a kiss on the neck. "And check on Ellie." She continues, steadfastly looking out the window, smiling again.
She twists in his embrace, so that they are facing each other. Eddie is smiling too, and Rachel feels so happy in that one moment, she wonders how she ever lived without mornings like this. He leans down and kisses her, but Rachel puts her hands on his chest, half-heartedly protesting. "Stop it, Eddie. We need to get ready."
"Okay, okay." He mutters, moving away. Rachel starts to get ready.
…
Rachel sits in her car, watching Ellie slink off into the near distance. She opens her door and steps out on to the tarmac. She opens the boot and gets her bag out, before making her way to her office. Rachel wonders what Ellie did last night, whilst she spent the evening with Eddie after they got back from Melissa's. What she does know, her daughter went out somewhere last night. Rachel doesn't know where and she's not sure she wants to. She'd told Ellie she was likely to be staying the night at Eddie's before she'd gone out, so that Ellie wouldn't be surprised to come home to an empty house.
She gets to her office and the first thing she does is make herself a coffee. She looks at her watch and breathes a sigh of relief. It's half past seven so she's got plenty of time before Verity Park arrive. She's just sat down in her chair when Darren appears in the doorway. "All set for today, Rachel?" He asks, entering the office. He pulls a chair over to her desk and sits down.
Rachel nods, checking the schedule for today's events. "I'm not sure why I agreed to this, with the amount of stress it's caused me." She comments, mock-seriously.
"When are they supposed to arrive?"
"Half past eight." She replies, leaning back in her chair, and running a hand though her hair.
"Late night?" Rachel nods. They only got back to Eddie's at twenty to eleven the night before, after spending much more time at Mel's that either Rachel or Eddie could have anticipated. They'd ordered takeaway, after her sister had invited them to spend the evening at her place. Seeing a way to start to rebuild her relationship with her sister, Rachel had accepted the offer. It had been an enjoyable evening; Rachel has to admit – even if there were some awkward moments.
Darren goes to speak again, but a knock at the door sounds. Rachel calls out. "Come in." The office door opens and Rachel is slightly surprised to see Eddie in the doorway.
"Um…" Eddie starts, clumsily – slightly uncomfortable with Darren's presence in the room. "I just thought you'd like to know you left this at mine." He continues, much more relaxed now, holding up Rachel's phone. She subconsciously reaches for her pocket, the place she usually keeps her phone, and then realises that it can't be there because Eddie's holding it.
"I did?" Rachel asks, rhetorically, wondering how she managed to leave her mobile at his place.
"Yeah, you left it on the sofa." Eddie informs her, taking a few steps into the room, so he's level with Darren. He sets the phone down on the desk and Rachel picks it up. She slips it into pocket as Eddie leans down and whispers in her ear. "Are you coming round again tonight?"
"I thought you could come to my place?" Rachel inquires, softly, so that Darren doesn't hear them. Eddie nods, straightening up. He flashes her a smile before leaving.
"So, you and him…" Darren says, and Rachel blushes. "Are you together?"
"Yeah, I guess we are." Rachel confirms, fiddling with a pen that is on her desk.
"About yesterday…" Darren starts, unsure as whether to breach the subject of the failed assembly. "I know it's not my business." Darren says, sounding apprehensive.
"No, Darren, it's not." Rachel says, cuttingly. She doesn't want to discuss her personal life with anyone, not even Darren - who she considers her closest friend here.
"I just wanted to ask if you were okay, Rachel." He says, sounding genuinely concerned.
"Look, it's nothing personal," Rachel starts, sighing. "but I really don't want to talk about it, Darren. My relationship with Eddie and my relationship with my sister are both complicated and confusing. People think they know what happened, but they don't. If you weren't there, it's really difficult to explain, Darren." She clarifies. "But I'll tell you one thing. We didn't have an affair." She smiles sadly, hoping that Darren will believe her. He nods.
"So, today's tournament…" Rachel begins, deftly changing the subject.
…
Rachel watches from her office window as the Verity Park bus draws up. She turns to see Darren entering the room, with Alex trailing behind him. She's put off punishing Alex for his truancy for as long as possible, but now she has to discipline him. "Take a seat." Rachel says, gesturing at the chair opposite her desk. Alex sits down, slinging his bag to the floor.
She glimpses a stream of green, emerging from the coach in the car park, out the corner of her eye. "You know that what you did yesterday was against the school rules. You cannot just walk out of school. However, I do except that you were under considerable stress after finding out…well, we both know and have we've sorted that, haven't we, Alex?" She remembers last night, when she went into the kitchen and found Alex and Ellie discussing football and she felt that finally, everything was going to be okay. Alex nods. "You've got after-school detention until you finish the work that you should have completed when you were truanting." She's expecting Alex to react badly to his punishment, but all he does his shrug.
"You can go now." Darren dismisses Alex, and Rachel can tell he has one eye on the rapidly moving bunch that is Verity Park. All Rachel knows about the school is that they are quite a new school – founded a couple of years ago – and that there head teacher is a woman – not that Rachel knows her name, though, something that is a little bit of an oversight, looking back. She's only talked to Val, the school secretary.
Rachel moves to the window, and can see Jamie greeting them, like they agreed would happen. Darren joins her by the window. "Is the head coming?" Darren asks, leaning on the window sill and staring through the blinds.
"The head and a couple of PE teachers. It's a specialist sports school so the Head is coming with them on the trip." Rachel explains, turning away from the window and sitting down behind her desk.
Darren moves away from the window a few seconds later, slipping onto the sofa. They sit in silence, waiting for the head of Verity Park to make an appearance. Rachel has told Jamie to get someone to show the head the way up to her office, because she knew that she had to deal with Alex this morning and that she probably wouldn't be there to greet them in person.
She surprised to see that Jamie has entrusted the job to Andy, a year thirteen pupil and star sportsman. Andy is one of the best athletes that have graced the corridors of Waterloo Road, but Rachel just wishes that he paid more attention in his other lessons, even if he doesn't consider them important. Andy moves to the side and Rachel gets her first glimpse of the Verity Park head teacher, and is instantly stunned. She sits, as still as a statue, for a good few seconds, as Kim Campbell makes her way into Rachel's office.
She hasn't seen her former colleague since she left for maternity leave after falling pregnant and then never returned to work at Waterloo Road, so many years ago now. Rachel stands, finally overcoming the shock at seeing her old friend. "Kim!" She exclaims, as her old friend smiles warmly back at her.
"I didn't know you were still the boss here, Rachel." Kim replies, cordially.
"How's your boy, Dexter – if I remember correctly?" Rachel asks, making her way around her desk. She perches on the edge, interested in what has happened to Kim in the past fifteen years.
"Yeah, he's good."
"How old is he now, then, fifteen?" Rachel inquires, judging her guess on the fact that Ellie is sixteen, and Dexter is roughly a year younger than her daughter.
"Sixteen in six months. It's scary how quickly they get old, isn't it?" Kim answers, but Rachel can tell something is up with Kim and she can tell it's something to do with her son.
"Yeah, I can't believe Ellie's sixteen already." Rachel replies, still trying to work out what's upsetting Kim. "Is Dexter okay, Kim?" She asks, cautiously, after a pause.
"He's fine; it's just he...he lives with his dad and I don't see him as often as I'd like." Kim speaks quietly, and Rachel almost misses her old colleague's words. Seeing the look of shock and abhorrence on Rachel's face at the thought of Dexter living with Max, Kim continues. "It wasn't my decision. He went through the courts when Dex was four. Max'd got a swanky new job by then and he could afford a great lawyer. They brought everything up, Rachel, every little thing I did wrong. Somehow, they found out about Grace and that was the final nail in the coffin. They didn't mention anything that Max had done – attacking Philip, no, no one mentioned that. So he got custody, and I only get to see my son on weekends." Kim says, bitterly. "But it's alright – I mean I still get to see him. Everything else is great. I love my job and-" Kim lifts up her left hand and Rachel smiles when she sees the wedding and engagement rings on Kim's finger. "I'm not Kim Campbell anymore. I'm Kim Treneman now and have been for six glorious years." Rachel feels happy for her friend, and glad that, even though the situation with Max and Dexter isn't perfect, Kim's at least found happiness.
"You married Andrew?" Kim nods, and Rachel can tell how happy she is about this.
"Congratulations." Rachel says, putting her hands together, beaming.
"And Ellie, how is she? You've heard all about my troubles and I haven't even asked about your daughter."
"Ellie's fine. The typical teenager, however." Rachel says, shaking her head. "But I wouldn't change her for the world."
"I'm guessing it didn't work out with Adam, then?" Kim points out, gesturing to Rachel's ring finger. She nods, not sure how to explain to Kim what has happened.
"And...Eddie?" Kim broaches the subject very warily, unsure of whether to even ask. Rachel looks down at her desk, straightening the paperwork that is overlapping the edge of the desk, before looking back up at her old colleague, who has now decided it wasn't a good idea to bring up Rachel's former deputy. However, Rachel is just trying to work out how to tell Kim that she and Eddie are back together. Before she can, however, the door opens and Eddie stops dead in his tracks in the doorway.
Kim doesn't turn, so she doesn't see him in the doorway. "I, uh, wanted to know if you came to a decision regarding Alex's truanting yesterday, but I can see you're busy." Eddie turns to leave, but Kim turns, having recognised his voice.
Before Kim can comment on the situation, Darren steps in. "Yes, Eddie, we did. Alex has got after school detention until he finishes the work he was meant to complete yesterday when he was absent." Darren informs, soldiering on, even though Kim keep switching her shocked face between Eddie and Rachel every two seconds or so.
Rachel can see Eddie is getting uncomfortable under Kim's piercing gaze, so she speaks up. "Eddie works here, Kim." She says, trying to hide a smirk at Eddie's unease. "And before you ask, yes, he knows about Ellie." Rachel adds.
"I'm going to go - you know classes to teach and all..." Eddie makes his awkward excuse and leaves.
"Are you and him..." Kim leaves the end of her question ambiguous, and even though Rachel knows what she's asking, she doesn't answer. "You know, together?" Rachel makes her way back to her seat, a smile playing with her lips. She slips into her chair, and turns back to face Kim, who sees the smile and instantly knows the answer to her inquiry.
"I'm so happy for you, Rachel." Kim says, and Rachel sees her watch out of the corner of her eye and realises they really need to get on with why they are here, and stop catching up - even though it's more interesting than what she has planned.
"Oh, Kim, I forgot to introduce my deputy, Darren Hastings." Darren stands up, and shakes Kim's hand.
"I don't know where my deputy has got to." Kim says, looking over her shoulder at the door. "He's the head of PE as well, so he was dealing with the kids. He should be here by now." Kim says, and Rachel can hear some impatience creeping into her tone. They wait a few seconds, and then a knock sounds at the door. It opens softly, and Jamie stands there, behind him is another man, who Rachel assumes is Kim's deputy. She can't really see him with Jamie in the way, but when Jamie comes further into the room, Rachel is able to see the man very clearly.
Her blood turns to ice in her veins and she freezes, her whole body coming to a standstill. The pencil she is holding falls from her grip, hitting the desk with a dull thud, before rolling on to the floor. Rachel doesn't notice, her whole being focused on the man in front of her. "And here he is. Rachel, may I introduce Dominic Addams, my deputy." Kim says, but it sounds like a blur to Rachel. The only thing she picks up on is the fact that she's not the only one to change their name, he's done it too.
He looks at her then, his eyes locking with hers. He's got a lazy smile on his lips and it's then Rachel knows that he knows that she knows who he is. She feels like she's suffocating, like somebody's wrapped an elastic band around her middle again and again and she can't breathe, she can't move, she can't think straight.
Everybody is staring at her now, but still she still can't move – not with him looking at her. Even though it's been nearly forty years since they last met, Rachel can still recognise him. He's got the same eyes; cold and dark and utterly, utterly inhumane.
Images flash past her eyes, like a film reel, rushing and rushing so that she takes in each one – not that she wants to. All the pictures are of a time she's spent the last forty years trying desperately to forget and he's there, at the forefront. Time has damaged the memories, and for that Rachel is glad. Faces and locations are blurred and have faded into obscurity, almost all except him. The man she knew as Johnny. Johnny who gave her scars she still has now.
"Rachel?" Darren prompts, but her mind is blank. Johnny – Dominic, whatever he's called now – is still looking at her, his eyes burning a hole in her. She wants to scream and shout and beg him to get out, to never come near her again. Rachel sits heavily down, and it's then she realises she's shaking.
"Rachel?" It's Kim who speaks up this time, and Rachel can hear the concern flooding the tone of her old friend. It's then Rachel realises that she's not seventeen years old anymore, that there's nothing Johnny can do, not here, not in front of anyone. Rachel stands up again, bringing herself up to her full height. "Welcome to Waterloo Road, Mr Addams." Rachel says, her voice sounding calm and controlled, in complete contrast to how she is currently feeling. "The sports competition will begin at nine ten and will span the majority of the day." Her voice rings out strong and Rachel wonders how the hell she is managing to speak so clearly when her mind has gone into meltdown.
"Jamie here is leading the events, along with Sarah Berry, the joint head of PE. The main aim of today is that the kids have fun." Darren steps in, flashing Rachel a confused look. Darren explains further to Kim and Johnny, but it all goes over Rachel's head. She is watching Johnny, a new thought entering her head. She knew that he's been at Uni when she'd known him, what she hadn't known was that he was planning on becoming a teacher. Maybe he hadn't known that then, maybe it was a late career change or something like that. It dawns on her that Johnny can't have a criminal record, because he wouldn't have been able to register as a teacher if he had, especially with convictions or charges related to prostitution. She realises, her heart sinking, that there must not have been enough evidence to charge him, for she knows Johnny was arrested after the police raided his home.
Rachel tries to focus on Kim, and not on Johnny – she cannot think of him as Dom, which is what Kim calls him. He's Johnny to her, and it doesn't matter if he's changed him name. She speculates as to whether he still thinks of her as Amanda. She hopes that she was insignificant to him and that she doesn't remember her, but Rachel knows from the look on his face that she was nothing like insignificant to him and that Johnny knows exactly who she is.
Rachel wonders if he's changed over the years, if he isn't the monster she knew. She doubts if he still is the cruel, callous, heartless man that he was, as he wouldn't have lasted long as a teacher. She wonders how coincidental it is that they both went on to become teachers.
Sarah appears, her blonde hair plastered to her forehead, a whistle around her neck. She joins Jamie, who is waiting outside Rachel's office. They swap whispers, before Sarah pops her head around the door. "We're all ready, Rachel." She informs, smiling. Johnny stands, up, clapping his hands together, loudly.
"I better go and get our kids ready, eh, Kim?" He says, patting his boss on the back, before following Jamie and Sarah out of the office and down the corridor. With every step he takes away from her, Rachel feels the pressure on her chest ease slightly, but even when he's out of sight, she can still feel it there, slowly suffocating her.
She flicks her eyes closed, taking a deep breath in. Rachel tries telling herself that he doesn't scare her anymore, that the power he wielded over her is gone now, but it doesn't help. He is still the man who haunted her dreams.
"Rach?" Kim has come over to her now, trying to puzzle out why her old friend reacted the way she did. "Are you okay?" Rachel wants to laugh and say that of course she's not okay, but she can't bring herself to admit to her feelings. She doesn't want to remember her past, Rachel wants to forget it happened at all. So, she nods her head, and she can tell Kim doesn't believe her. "You went all wobbly just then, so I'm sure you're not good." Kim says, and Rachel curses her friend for being such a good observer – though, she notes cynically, it was probably obvious that something was up with her. Rachel knows that neither Kim nor Darren suspect that it was the man they both know as Dom, but that Rachel knows intimately as Johnny, who made her freeze.
"Do want me to go get Eddie?" Darren chips in, and Rachel shakes her head violently. She doesn't want Eddie to know about this, about Johnny. She's never talked about how he hurt her to anyone, though she knows that Melissa knows, because even though they're not now, they were once so close that things like Rachel turning up black and blue in the morning got noticed. They never talked about it though, like Rachel being a prostitute – they never talked about that either.
The bell rings, as Rachel puts her head in her hands. She sees Darren lead Kim from the office, and Rachel can hear the furious whispers they are exchanging, no doubt about her. She leans back in her chair, hoping that she will be able to get through today without having to encounter Johnny again. She stands up, crossing the room to the window, wondering how she could be so happy this morning, held in Eddie's arms, but now feels so scared, and so, so utterly alone, even though the school is full of people. None of them know, however, what Johnny is, how much of a monster he was, and might still be. Rachel wants to curl up in a ball and scream at the world to go away but she knows that it wouldn't do any good, because she'd be letting him win. This morning, Rachel thought she finally had her life back on track, and now, she can feel the train coming off the rails.
Rachel doesn't hear the door open, and only realises he's there when she feels his arm slide around her middle. She tenses, not daring to move or to even make a sound. If she doesn't put up a fight, maybe he won't hurt her as much. "Rach?" She lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding when she hears Eddie's voice. She turns around, leaning heavily on the window sill, until she is staring Eddie in the face, finally convincing herself that it isn't Johnny back to hurt her. "Rach?" Eddie repeats, his face crinkling up in confusion as the first tear falls down Rachel's cheek. She's tried not to cry, but she feels completely drained, utterly broken and she can't keep it in anymore.
She doesn't want to be scared of Johnny. She doesn't want to flinch at Eddie's touch because she has mistaken him for someone else. Rachel doesn't want to be afraid anymore. She's forgotten just for much she hated Johnny, for how he hurt her, for how he controlled her, for how he almost ruined her life. Memories she's suppressed for so many years have come back up to the surface, and are bubbling away, eating at her. She's tried so hard to forget that she was ever Amanda Fenshaw and she had nearly succeeded, filing away every single thing related to the girl she once was and replacing it with who she was now; Rachel Mason. But now, after seeing Johnny again, she knows it was never going to be that simple.
A tear rolls down her cheek, as she buries her head in Eddie's shoulder, wishing that she never met Johnny Carlton in the first place. He wreaked so much havoc on her life forty years ago, and he's doing much the same now, even though Johnny hasn't even acknowledged that he remembers her.
Eddie tightens his grip, holding her tighter to his chest. Rachel is glad he doesn't ask her any questions, as she weeps into his shoulder. The tears are coming faster now, a waterfall down her cheeks as she tries in vain to get her emotions back under control. She is Rachel Mason, not Amanda, not the girl she was back then. She can face Johnny and she won't let him win, not this time, not now when her life is finally back to where she wants it to be. The tears stop after a long, minute.
Eddie strokes the back of her head, planting a soft kiss on the top of her head and she feels so glad that Eddie is here to hold her, even though she can't quite bring herself to confide in him about Johnny. She pulls away from his arms, moving across to her desk and sitting down in her chair, trying to pretend the last few minutes didn't happen. She picks up a piece of paper – not quite computing what's on it – and buries herself in it. Eddie stares at her for a long moment, but he's known her long enough to know that if he tries pushing it, she'll clam up and he'll learn nothing. "Rachel?" He starts, his voice cautious.
"I don't want to talk about it. Don't you have to teach first?" She says, dismissing Eddie without looking up. Rachel knows she's being hard on him, but she can't help it. Her head is still in a warzone and she really, really,doesn't want to talk about it. Eddie nods, accepting her words and her harsh tone with a grace that Rachel appreciates, though she doesn't show it. She just wants to get back to normal, to do things she's good at, to work hard and to lose herself in her work. She doesn't want to admit it, but she wants to prove to Johnny that she is good enough, that she can do this.
When a knock sounds at the door half an hour later, Rachel braces herself for the reappearance of Johnny, and when the door opens and Darren is there, Rachel accepts that until Johnny Carlton is out of her school, she'll have to keep looking over her shoulder, she'll have to keep panicking every time someone knocks on her door. She might not want to, but he hurt her so much, so long ago, that she still has the physical and mental scars that he left with her, that fateful day when she last saw him.
She sighs, and throws herself into her next task; organising the school disco, that is happening at the end of term, with Darren.
...
Jamie pops in over the day, as does Sarah, informing Rachel on how the day is going. The overall picture Rachel gets is that the day is going very well. She also gets the impression that Dominic is very well like by both his pupils and the Waterloo Road pupils, along with a certain head of PE, something Rachel detests with her whole being, but there is nothing she can do to stop it, short of announcing his past to the assembled kids, and Rachel knows that it's a bad idea because a) no one would believe her, b) if they did, how would she explain how she knew? She doesn't want anyone knowing the sordid details of her past and c) she doesn't want to show him that it affects her, him being here, in her school, in her life, once again.
Eddie gives her a wide berth, after the incident in which she snapped at him. She doesn't blame him, but Rachel really could do with a comforting face right about now. Ellie hasn't been up to see her either, not that she usually did – only when something dreadful had gone wrong, like she'd left her dinner money at home or something as important as that. Rachel understands that her daughter finds it quite embarrassing that her mum is the head teacher, but she would still like to see her daughter once in a while.
Rachel is so caught up in paperwork, she doesn't notice that the door has opened. When she looks up, she stops dead, dread running up her spine. She shivers, her eyes meeting Johnny's. Rachel stands up, making her way to the door. She opens it, holding it wide open, waiting for Johnny to leave, but he doesn't, instead giving her a lazy smile, like the kind he gave her all this time when they were younger, usually with a cigarette clutched in one hand. The cigarette is gone now, but the smirk still takes her back to his house, during those dreadful years she spent in his company.
"Shut the door, darling, I'm getting cold." He says, condescendingly. Rachel has to stop the anger that has already started rising up in her, coming to the surface.
"I'd like it if you didn't talk to me like that, Mr Addams." She says, speaking with thinly veiled resentment.
"I can talk to you how I wish, thank you very much." Johnny says, his smirk widening. "Or have you forgotten, sweetheart?" Johnny adds. "I know things about you, things you wouldn't like your colleagues knowing, I'd guess, Mandy." He says, and Rachel stops dead. No one has called her Mandy in years – even Mel stopped calling her it when Rachel told her she preferred being called by her new name. "Wonder what they'd think if they knew that there brilliant head teacher used to be a prostitute."
"Too late, they already know." Rachel says, evenly.
"Shut the door, Amanda." Johnny's voice has turned cold now, and Rachel remembers what that means clearly. It means he's angry, but still Rachel doesn't close the door. He doesn't have the power that he used to have over her any more. "I said shut the door!" He bellows, and Rachel glances over her shoulder, sure that someone must have heard him, but the corridor is clear.
"You can't make me do what you want anymore." She says, trying to sound calm. Johnny gives her a strained smile, before closing the gap between them. He grabs her arm with one hand, wrenching her away from the door. Johnny shuts the door, then turns calmly back to Rachel.
"I tried asking you nicely but you wouldn't listen. You never listened, did you Amanda?" Johnny comments, his face hardening with barely contained anger. Rachel remembers that he used to have a short fuse, but she never thought it was this short. In a flash, Johnny is moving towards her. He slams his entire weight into her and she goes crashing into the wall. Her back hits the wall first and she bites her lip, resisting the urge to cry out. Johnny is pinning her to the wall now, his face far too close to hers. "Did you?" He hisses, roughly. She can't reply, because he's got his hand on her neck.
She can't breathe; he's too close her, overwhelming every single one of her senses. She hopes to god that the door will open before Johnny gets really angry. Rachel doesn't want to see him truly losing it again, she saw it enough long ago. "You got away, didn't you, Mandy?" He whispers, into her ear, his voice brutal and forceful, his cheek bumping against hers. "You thought you were so clever, getting your life sorted out, getting a fancy new name." He continues, and Rachel can feel fear choking her, blind panic rising up. "Turns out you weren't so clever, were you?" He adds, sounding condescending once again. "You weren't the only one who could change their name, it turns out."
Rachel tries to push against him, trying to escape, to get away from his violent hands, but his grip just gets tighter. She feels a tear snake its way down her cheek, cursing herself for making her look so weak. "Don't cry, Mandy." He says, softly, but Rachel knows it's deceptive, that it's a cover, a way to trick her into letting her guard down before his spiteful tongue will lash out more abuse. "You always were a pathetic little creature." He remarks, wiping away her tear with a finger. Then he reaches up and hits her across the face with the back of his hand, his knuckles connecting with her temples with such force she is knocked off of her feet. She tumbles down, smacking her head on the corner of the filing cabinet as she goes. She hits the ground with a bang and a whimper escapes her lips. Little stars fill her vision, exploding everywhere. She feels seventeen again, lying sprawled on her office floor, with Johnny staring down at her with a madman's glint in his eye.
Then Rachel spots her phone, lying on the floor next to her, having fallen from her pocket as she fell. It's her lifeline, her one avenue of escape. She reaches out, her arm quick, snapping out with as must speed as she can muster, but before she gets to the phone, Johnny's foot comes smashing down, slamming down on to Rachel's hand. He grinds his heel in and Rachel hears the bones crack and crunch under his shoe. The pain is devastating, hitting her in a wave. It's worse than her head, which is pounding, and Rachel guesses that Johnny has broken it.
He kneels down, snatching up the phone greedily. He sets it down on the desk, grinning down at her. "Can't reach now, can we?" He mocks, derisively. He crouches again, this time beside her. She struggles to get up as he watches, his eyes cold, so very cold. Rachel can see fire burning in them, dancing in his cold, dark soul. "Not so brave anymore, are you, Mandy?"
Rachel closes her eyes, trying to drown out the pain, but before she knows it, Johnny's got his hands on her again. He pulls her by her injured hand into a kneeling position, as he straightens up, and Rachel wonders why the hell no one has come to her office during Johnny's attack. Her vision is slightly blurred and she can feel blood trickling down her face, mingling with the tears that are falling in earnest now. She tries to stand, but Johnny hits her again, and she sprawls back onto the carpet. "You never should have left, Amanda. You were good, so good at your job." He says, and Rachel feels sick, not sure if it's because of her wounds or because of Johnny's words, digging up memories of a time she's tried so hard to forget. "You and I both know that you sold me out, don't we?" Johnny asks, but Rachel knows he doesn't expect an answer, because he's right – they both know she cooperated with the police, told them all about Johnny and what he did, all except the physical abuse she sustained at his hands. She's never told anyone about that, preferring to bottle it all up and pretend it never happened.
Oh, where's Eddie? She thinks, as Johnny hauls her back onto her knees. "You shouldn't have done that, Mandy." Johnny says, in a mocking tone, shaking his head. He moves, but he's just a blur to Rachel now. She sees a flash of green, as Johnny swings it, only a second before the hole-puncher makes contact with her stomach. She doubles over, collapsing on to the floor, as Johnny looks down at the carnage he has inflicted, that lazy smile once again on his face.
He crouches down so their eyes are level. "You were so beautiful, once, darling." He says, wistfully, dragging his knuckles across her cheek. "D'you know your daughter looks just like you did when you were her age?" Johnny asks, his voice light as a feather, but Rachel knows he must know what hurt he is unleashing on her, must know how low his blow is. He is dragging her daughter into this sorry, sorry mess.
"Leave Ellie out of this, Johnny." She spits out, as venomously as her aching ribs will let her. He doesn't answer, instead just slapping her again, her head snapping backwards with the blow.
"Little Ellie is so, so wonderfully innocent, isn't she, Mandy?" Rachel makes herself look Johnny in the eye and she can see the glint there. He's enjoying this. She can feel her heart slowly turning to glass in his hands. Johnny has the power to shatter it, or to spare it, and Rachel knows which he will choose. "It was so easy to take away your innocence, wasn't it, Mandy?" He asks, running his fingers along her chin, forcing her to look at him again. "You were innocent once, a very long time ago, weren't you? I took that away from you; I made you guilty. I showed you the real world, the part everyone keeps hidden. And you made your living there remember?" Johnny comments, his voice dangerously soft. "I wonder how long it would take me to rob your daughter of her innocence, how long it would take me to open her eyes."
He pauses, looking down at her with a look that Rachel can't name in his eyes. "You're not listening!" Johnny yells, grabbing her by the front of her shirt and pulling her close to him. He holds her there, his nails digging into her chest, for a long moment, before he lets go and she tumbles back to the ground. He stares at her, with that malicious, lazy grin on his lips once again. "How long d'you think it would take me to make her follow in your footsteps?" She feels like screaming, begging Johnny to get away from her daughter, to hurt her but never to touch Ellie, but she does none of these things.
"Stay the hell away from my daughter." She replies, her voice crystal clear in the silence.
"Always were a fighter, weren't you, Mandy." He says, straightening up. His tie has loosened over the course of the last five minutes and, as Rachel watches, lying prone on the ground, Johnny redoes it. He smoothes down his trousers and his crumpled shirt, before standing tall, emphasizing his superiority.
"I would say you didn't deserve this, Amanda, but I'd be lying." He says, surveying his work with a critical eye. Johnny gives her one last lazy smile, before disappearing from her sight. Rachel blinks, bright lights filling her vision for a few seconds, before dying out. She hauls herself up, one thought running through her head.
Johnny cannot lay a finger on Ellie.
The pain is nearly too much for Rachel. Her hand is throbbing - a burning ache that feels like fire, licking its way up her arm - and her head is pounding - like a brass band are playing their set as close as possible to her brain – and she feels like she can't breathe ever since he smashed that hole-puncher into her ribs.
But she doesn't give up, because Johnny cannot lay a finger on Ellie.
She searches her desk with her good hand, looking for the schedule, needing to know where she can find Ellie. When she does, after a few seconds of frantic searching, she discovers to her horror that she is down to compete in the javelin – a hobby of hers. At any point during the hour long competition, Johnny could approach her, he could hurt her. Rachel won't let him touch a hair on her cherished daughter's head.
She hears Eddie's voice before she sees him. "I know you were annoyed at me earlier, but I don't know why. Please don't bite my head off-" He stops the moment he sees her. "Rachel..." Eddie says, his voice full of shock and horror at the sight that has greeted him. "You're bleeding." He says, obviously.
She's about to reply when the bright lights appear spotted across her vision again. Rachel feels like all the energy in her body has been drained and she can't move, she can't speak. "He can't hurt Ellie." She manages to get out, her words slightly slurred, as Eddie hurries to her side, concern engrained in his features.
"Rach, it's alright."
"Don't let Johnny hurt her." She whispers, as Eddie puts his arms around as she sways wildly, her limbs no longer under her control. "Don't let Johnny hurt Ellie."
"Shush, it's going to be okay. I won't let him hurt her." Eddie soothes, but Rachel knows he can't help. He doesn't know that Dom is Johnny and that he is out there right now, and that maybe it's already too late.
"Johnny..." She whispers softly, her head feeling so tired. She can see the darkness waiting for her, it looks so inviting.
Everything fades to black.
...
Thanks for reading. I'd like to thank everybody who has taken the time to review this story, it really does make my day!
