AN-Hello, these are just funny little one-shots I came up with and decided I would post it for my lovable reviewers! D Kayla helped me with the last one BTW. The other two I did by myself.

Warning- It's in script format (the first and third one are anyway)

Parings- none

Summaries-Read and find out:D

IMPORTANT Notes: Nii-san means Big Brother, and Seth is wearing her tea seller out-fit in the first and second one, the third she's in her empress outfit. The first one takes place pre-manga and the last two take place after chapter 35 of the manga if Abel had decided to stay in Byzantium instead of going back to the Vatican. Oh ya, and in the first one, don't mind the food thing...I was starving when I wrote that...

These are actions

The Empress Attacks...The AX!?

Seth- wakes up just outside the Vatican gates Hmm? The Vatican? Why am I here? looks around and shrugs Might as well visit Nii-san while I'm here! tries to sneak past the guard but steps on a twig

Vatican Guard- wakes up as a twig snaps Huh? Who goes there!? he points his gun at Seth

Seth- smiles sweetly I'm Seth! Just a pretty little girl!

Vatican Guard-cautiously Lowers weapon Why are you here?

Seth- I've come to visit Nii-san!

Vatican Guard- Nii...san???

Seth- All right, now that that's settled, Time for you to go back to sleep! looks around Ah! picks up a big rock hehe... hits the Vatican guard on the head ouch, that's gotta hurt... picks him up and puts him back on his chair so it looks like he's sleeping

Seth- smiles much better walks into the Vatican hmm...I wonder where Nii-San is...

Seth walks along, not paying attention to where she's going Hmm...Huh? OWIEEE!!!! walks face first into a brick Wall owchie...wha? looks up to see a priest looking down at her with one eye blinking red

Tres- Requesting Damage report

Seth- blink...What are you made out of!? Steel!? That hurt!

Tres- Negative, I am made out of Iron.

Seth- Well of course you are, all humans have Iron in their body...wait...did you say made out of?

Tres- Positive.

Seth- sweat drop are you a robot or something?

Tres- Negative, I am an android.

Seth- same thing Einstein

Tres- My indicators state that they are not the same th-

Seth- shut up… looks around for something anything…

Tres- Requesting reasoning for why you are shifting your gaze.

Seth- Oh, no reason in particular…it's just…

Tres- ?

Seth- makes a shocked face and points into the sky what's that? It's huge!

Tres- Glances upwards

Seth- grins evilly and kicks him as hard as she can right in the gut

Tres goes flying into a random wall, and I don't know where it came from...so dont ask...

Seth- smiles well, that takes care of that annoying robot… I wonder where brother is…

Tres- 1.78 seconds to fast...system failure… goes all twitchy

Seth-goes walking off into the Vatican

-After awhile of walking around-

Seth was innocently walking through the hallways when a door opened and nearly slammed right into her face. She squeaked and jumped out of the way

Seth- she looked around the door ready to pound who ever did that when she realized- uhh...ok...that's not normal...doors just don't open by themselves...

WWW- pops up behind Seth Hello Little Lady! bends down so he'll make eye contact when she turns around my name is William Walter Wordsworth! Nice to make – Seth turns around real fast'accidentally' punching him in the face-acquaintance with your fist... twitchy eye

Seth- plays innocent Oh! You Scared me...I'm sorry, it was an accident! trembling lip Please don't be mad at me... eyes start to water

WWW- Ack! Don't cry! Please don't cry! trying to calm down SethUhh...I know! How about you come into my office here and I'll give you some candy!

Seth- still fake crying O-ok...You first...

WWW- Ah! Smart little lady! You never know if one of my inventions is going to blow up! ...Again... starts to walk into his room but stops and turns around in the doorway when-

Seth- innocently Mr. William...

WWW- Yes?

Seth- smiles evilly Your an idiot... slams the door right in his face...literally...hehehe...though maybe I should have gotten the candy first... hears a groan and a thump inside as he falls to the ground unconscious well, that takes care of him...now...Abel better be here...or I'm gonna kill him...

-Continues walking around-

Seth- tummy rumbles I'm so hungry... and thirsty...where's some tea when you actually need it??

Kate- pops up out of thin air right in front of Seth

Seth- O.o?

Kate- doesn't notice Seth and starts mumbling to herself Why are men such jerks! Like really I mean why must the always act like idiots around here? I've been finding them unconscious everywhere tonight!! There probably drunk... pours a cup of tea and takes a sip Ahhh...delicious!

Seth- mouth watering O.O uhh, miss-?

Kate- finally notices Seth Oh! Um...Hello! Sorry if you heard my useless mumbling... hmm? What's wrong? sees Seth holding her stomach, drooling while staring at the cup of tea

Seth- Miss...?

Kate- Oh! Sister Kate at your service!

Seth- Miss Kate...Can I have a cup of tea...? I'm starving...

Kate- Oh you poor thing! Of course you can! gets her a plate with a cup of tea and some sweets on it

Seth- Thank you!! takes it

Seth eats the food and drinks the tea so fast that Kate's tea cup fell out of her hands and smashed on the floor as she stared at her with an open mouth

Seth- That was delish! Thanks!! runs off, mumbling when around the corner Too bad she's a hologram, I can't knock her out... chuckles she thinks they're drunk...

walks into a random person walking through the halls

Seth- Ow!

Random person-Oh! Sorry, didn't see you there... chuckles

Seth- Why?? Cause I'm SHORT!?

Random person- well yes, but to say that would be mean, and-

Seth- sacks himr ead my lips- I. A.M. N.O.T. S.H.O.R.T!!!!!!! storms off leaving the man curled up on the floor twitching (AN-she kicks real hard, remember what she did to Tres? And that was when she was happy...this was when she was mad...poor dudes probably neutered...)

-Storms off-

Seth-Storms past Catherina office punching the door in as she walks bySTUPIED TERRANS!!! I AM NOT SHORT!!! I'm just vertically challenged...

Catherina- sticks her head out the door Umm...Young lady?

Seth- turns around looking pissed off and ready to kill someone WHAT?

Catherina- flinches did you by any chance do this to my door?

Seth- And if I did?

Catherina- Well, nothing, I was just wondering...

Seth- Then Yes, I did, now leave me alone! I'm trying to find my stupid Nii-San!!

Catherina- Nii-san? What's that mean? steps out into the hallway

Seth- It means Big Brother! Why does everyone ask me that!?

Catherina- Who's your big brother...?

Seth- Abel! Now can I go and find the idiot?

Catherina- O.O A-Abel...has a little sister...?

Seth- I'm leaving... leaves

Catherina slowly walks back into her office and sits down with this expression plastered onto her face- O.O

-Seth finally calms down, just a tad as she walks around-

Seth- mumbling to herself Maybe I'll try a different approach... sees a big gruff man Hi!!

Big gruff man- uhh...hi?

Seth- I'm looking for Abel, have you seen him?

Big Gruff Man- whys such a pretty young woman like yourself looking for father four eyes when you can have me, Leon?

Seth- Keep dreaming, now, tell me where he is before I kill you... glares as her eyes turn blood red and she bares her fangs

Leon- B-bathroom...down the hall...third door on the right... O.O

Seth- Thank-You! smiles as she skips away

Leon- Abel...You can have her... twitchy eye

-Seth runs off down the hall-

Seth- Third door on the right...one...two...Ah! Here we are, men's bathroom... sweat drop this is going to be so nasty... plugs nose and cautiously walks in Aww nasty! It stinks in here!!

The room is still and quite

Abel- Seth...Seth...wake up...Seth...

Seth- Huh? Wake Up? Abel! Where are you? grabs her head as she falls onto her knees Ah...What's going on? ...I feel...dizzy...falls onto the floor

everything goes black

Seth wakes up to find Abel looking at her

Abel- Your awake!! all cheery

Seth- Huh? ...what happened??

Abel- What do you mean what happened?? Miss Asta and I saw you collapse in the city square! ...You alright?

Seth- But I thought...I...I...I was in the Vatican...and I meet a bunch of people...and this one dude named Leon was hitting on me and-

Abel- WHAT!? ILL KILL HIM!!!

Seth- O.o?

Abel- growling Ill kill that little pervert...no one hits on my baby sister and lives to tell about it...

Seth- O.o smiles You havent changed a bit! hugs And who are you calling a baby?

THE END!

AN-aww what a sweet little ending...YES! ok! I admit it! im as hyper as a hyper kitten that just got into a bag of sugar and then found the stash of kat-nip!!! weeee: D say that fast, its fun! onto the next story!!! BLAHAHAHAHA!!!


Abel the Squirrel

A short little ONESHOT made by Crusnik02 for all of her devoted readers

Abel Nightroad was walking down the streets of Byzantium on a mission for the Vatican, minding his own business when a little silver furred Squirrel scurried by his feet and he heard his name being called. So, naturally, he turned around just in time to see a young girl with black hair and green eyes run past him. She seemed familiar to him somehow...

She bent down low and caught the little squirrel in her delicate pale hands as she said to it, while making a kitty like face, "Abel! Quit running away from me would you?" She stood up straight as her gaze drifted onto the tall priest. She quickly noted that he looked very confused, "Nii-San! Meet Abel!" She said cheerfully while holding the little squirrel out to him.

"Seth? Is that really you? You haven't gown an inch! You're still a little squirt!" he replied with a silly grin on his face completely ignoring the squirrel that shared a name with him as he patted her on the head.

Seth glared at him as a vain pulsed on her head and Abel quickly removed his hand as he chuckled nervously.

"Tovarish? What are you doing here?" Asta asked as she walked up behind him. Abel quickly took this as a means of escape and ducked behind her faster then she could ever have hoped to see, "T-Tovarish? Wha-?" she stopped short as she looked down to see Seth death glaring at her...well...through her to the person hiding behind her. She looked at the girl with interest and winked as she quickly stepped to the side. The girl than death tackled Abel.

Abel screamed a very high-pitched girly scream as he was tackled to the ground, "AHHHHH!!!!!!"

Seth was than sitting on his chest pinning him to the ground as she sighed, "Nii-san?"

"...Owchie...what?" he mumbled as he held his head with his hand.

"What's wrong?"She asked looking at him with concern.

He just looked at her with a -'I'm-almost-dead-from-a-death-tackle-what-do-you-think?' type of look and said, "Nothing...nothing at all..."

THE END

(...This story has information needed to understand whats going on in Squirrel trouble...)


Squirrely Trouble

Abel: Runs in screaming AHHHHHHHH! SAVEME!!!!!!!! ITS GONNA KILL ME!!!!(Hides behind Seth

Nobles: O.o?

Seth looks over at her brother while court stares in shock

Seth: Abel? Um...what's wrong with you??

Abel: Points towards the door: Its gonna eat me...

Everyone looks towards the door, some glancing back at Abel, wondering why he is hiding behind their empress

'Abel' appears at the door and chirps. Abel squeaks and goes back behind Seth in sheer terror

Abel: Its gonna eat me!

Squirrel scampers in and climbs onto Seth's shoulder. Seth pets the white rodents before it looks down at Abel, sniffing

Abel: Ahhh! Screams and falls on his ass as he tries to scoot away but ends up running into the legs of none other than Asta herself

Seth: Stares at her brother in bewilderment before glancing at Asta Oh, hello duchess. Apparently, your torvasish is afraid of rodents...

Abel: Keep it away from me! Hugging Asta's legs for dear life

Asta Pries priest off her leg Abel, snap out of it. Knocks him on the head

Abel: Owie...Seth...why'd you have to name that thing after me anyway? You know I don't like little fuzzy things...that move...and bite...and scratch.…And.…bite...

Seth Continues to pet 'Abel': Cause he reminded me of you. I missed you, you know. 900 years and not a word... Becomes a little sad

Abel: I missed you too but...I didn't go naming evil little critters after you...

Asta Confused: Wha-? 900 years? Abel, aren't you a terran? You two knew each other beforehand? This doesn't make sense...

Abel: Oh yes! I've known her, her whole life! And I'm in fact almost 1000 years old! Goofy grin She's my little sister!

Seth Stiffens and hisses: Abel!

Abel: Confused: What'd I say?

One of the nobles Murmurs: Her Majesty has a bro-brother?

Abel: Hears Oh shit...

Asta Stares at Abel in shock: Tovarish?

Abel: Runs over to Seth: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to! Remembers that the squirrels still there and takes a few steps back. Turns head to look at Asta Yeah?

Asta: You're our Empress's brother? Older brother, even? Why didn't you tell me? I can't believe this...

Abel: Oh yes...that... Yes! That's it! Don't believe it! Don't believe a word I said! Whispers if you do Seth will kill me for this...

Seth Glares and whispers: Damn right...

Abel: stiffens while he laughs nervously: You heard the girl...uh I mean, empress! None of this ever happened! Nervously looks at squirrel while he scoots past Seth cautiously heading for the door It never happened! Opens the huge, and heavy, doors like they where mere feathers None of it ever happened! Runs through the doors and jumps through the window off a cliff into the sea all dramatically

Court: O.o… You heard him...none of this ever happened... its all-just a bad dream... yeah that's it... Random chatter

Seth Shakes her head: What is it with him with jumping out of windows to fall down hundred-foot cliffs? I knew Lilith shouldn't have let him watch all those action movies...

Asta: O.O T-Tovarish...?

Seth: Well it seems like you found quite the catch.

Asta: S-so it's all true your highness?

Seth: Shhhh!!!

Asta: Flinches Sorry... Starts to whisper everything she says to her while covering the side of her mouth with her hand Is it?

'Abel' innocently scratches ear

Seth: Does the same as Asta: Yes, he's my older brother. Seems fate has brought us together once more. He's not as clumsy as he looks. I'm glad he loosened up a bit, not too much though I hope.

Asta: S-so...MY Tovarish...the one that I always torment...is royalty?

Seth smiles evilly: Yes, and for that little confession, I think you earned yourself a night in the dungeons...

Asta: Wha- Y-your highness? Standing up straight almost yelling

Court stares

Asta: Wha-? But I-...Why your highness?

Seth: For tormenting one of your rulers...

Asta: But I didn't know! I swear! And trust me! He deserved it!

The court doors open and two guards walk in carrying the drenched Abel Your highness! We saw this man jump out of the palace window, and we later found him washed up on the shore...what shall we do with him your highness?

Abel slightly limps, while waving at Seth: Hey, Seth...Didn't know I'd be dropping in again so soon.

'Abel' jumps off Seth's shoulder and climbs up Abel. Abel laughs nervously as he looks at 'Abel' sitting on his shoulder with wide eyes. He makes not even a sound, standing perfectly still

Squirrel Abel: Squeak!

Asta: Sweatdrop

Court watches, turning their heads as Abel runs across the room and back a few times, all the while screaming like a baby.

Abel: Stops in front of Asta jumping up and down like a hyper kid in a candy store GET IT OFF! PLEASE!!ASTA HELP ME!!! PLEASE!!!!

Asta reaches out hand to get the rodent. It climbs into her sleeve

Asta: Ah! Get it out!

Asta panics as the thing climbs about. Seth stands up and whistles

Seth: Here, Abel...

Squirrel's head peeks out from the front of Asta's shirt. Asta shivers while nervously laughing 'Abel' jumps down and runs over to Seth, who picks it up. She holds it to her chest and starts petting it

Abel: Sees squirrel and runs behind Asta Be merciful master of fear...

Seth Looks down at rodent: Sorry in advance...

Asta: Eh?

Seth Smiles evilly before she tosses the squirrel at her brother: Catch!

Abel: Catches out of reflex AHHHHH! O.O Tosses it at Asta

Asta: Not me! Tosses it back to Abel

Abel: I don't want it! Tosses it back at Asta

Asta: Yuck! Accidentally throws it on the court table. Screams are heard as it scrambles about; chairs are heard being pushed back

Asta Blinks at the panic: Ops...

Abel: Well, at least it's gone...

Seth: Abel! Go and get him before he gets hurt!

Abel: But, I wasn't the one wh-

Seth: Now!

Abel: Flinches

Seth Turns to Asta Oh, and duchess...

Asta: Nervous Yes?

Seth: Go to your room...and I don't mean your mansion...

Abel: Runs off to find 'Abel' before he's killed

Asta: But...

Seth: No buts, I'm sure the guards will be happy to escort you…

Asta is escorted to the dungeons. She waits in her cell for a few minutes before Abel comes to visit her. He unlocks the cell and steps in. Seth sneaks up behind him and shuts the door and locks it

Abel bewildered: Hey!

Seth Has something behind her back: Present for ya. Pulls out 'Abel' with an evil look. Waits a minute before looking down at the rodent and smiling again. Tosses squirrel in

and so ends these tales of mischief, with screams echoing out of the dungeon for miles around…


AN- I must say I'm sort of disapointed with the outcome of thsi chapter, i was hoping it would be funnier...well maybe ive just read them to many times...anyway! Thanks for your help Kayla (WinterShadow)

Please tell me what cha think, oh ya, and im posting the new chapter of back to the past right after this so...check it out: D

bye

crusnik