Disclaimer: I do not own BNHA or any of its characters.
AN: Hi! This chapter's a pretty long one. It's a pretty peep into the past - like a late prologue intermission of sorts. Hope you enjoy reading. Thank you so much for the lovely reviews and support! :D
He had noticed the differences by the third day, mere two nights after the after he'd recklessly played a hand in the role of a Hero. It had been less than 72 hours since, and the vivid scene continuously replayed itself in poor humour.
Izuku gripped his head as the liquid memories drained down the sink of an uncontrollable memory lane. A push to his waist, a fading voice written with promise, too much screaming amidst the panic painted with ribbons of blue and yellow. Izuku barely registered the sound of familiar sirens crying through the scent of iron.
'Focus!' The reminder of the present rang. It was bizarrely emotional, considering his attitude for the past 11 months. But it had a point, their Hero Foundational match was starting soon and Kacchan would hypothetically kill him if he caught wind of this… daze.
(He couldn't have that, lest UA delay their plans to be Heroes. Their classmates already feared them and Izuku had played his guesses as to why, though any form of empathy or sympathy remained non-existent. His Kaa-san gave him one job – to make friends – and he'd already failed.
It didn't matter, honestly, Logic sighed. But It should, Common Sense argued. Friends were important because they supposedly helped each other. Or so past Izuku thought previously. Present Izuku endeavoured to go with the flow. What Aizawa-sensei wanted, Aizawa-sensei get.)
Sometimes, Izuku wished his Quirk extended to smell too. Lord Explosion Murder was one heck of a bloodhound for all things unholy. Izuku honestly needed to stop blinding, muting, and deafening him so often.
The process in itself had been slow, somewhere around the speed of a grazing rabbit. Its soft feet had padded around the field of topic, and Izuku would almost consider the frolicking insignificant if the nouns of emotions weren't gradually being eaten up by the spoonful.
Izuku hadn't been sent home right away. The police had taken him in without bias, all trembling limbs and lips. No one commented about the state he helplessly droned himself into. Everywhere produced phantom aches – in his skull and in his stomach, Izuku failed to recall if it even reached his feet too.
He'd tried to run, after all, flight response cranked up so high that Denki-kun could've had an aneurism from. Shock was the last word to have registered in his mind; the middle schooler thought nothing about the cold sweat that clammed his hands and skin.
Ribs sore, he thanked whoever passed him the grounding weight of a pale yellow blanket. Wrapped around his shoulders, it seemingly glowed underneath the peeking moonlight.
Night shouldn't have felt as long as it did. The police people with paper cups of coffee in their grips waited patiently as his mother stormed in after work hours. It was little after dinner time, Izuku didn't even have it in him to cry into Inko's shoulder. Green eyes blank, he stared at his mother instead.
She'd cringed, which made Izuku flinch.
A man named Tsukauchi Naomasa was sent to the hospital because of him. Izuku was in a bad place at a bad time when the villain gave the cops the slip from the holding vehicle.
Nothing but an instinctive act of courage and justice prepared Izuku for when he charged at the villain who threatened murder a child in his attempt at escape. The teen had bit his lips till they bled, roared wildly, then suffered under the voracious effect of a pain inflicting Quirk.
Izuku's Quirk was activated under the hurt of his entire nervous system set on fire and some more. He wasn't even thinking of hurting the Villain when it set off. The pain lasted for barely a minute before it stopped. His torturer was suddenly collapsed when a brown (almost) blur tackled him.
Izuku jumped, and that man was on the ground too. Mumbling something, no one knew it would be his last words for a while.
Police were starting to file in, circling the area where Izuku stood crying with their distinct cars. He saw one of the cops talk into a communication device on his shoulder. Their eyes weren't filled with fear and thank Kami for that. Izuku couldn't be sure which was worse, though. The indifference or something else.
He wasn't a monster, no matter what the Villain was screaming. The guy started it in the first place. It was an accident and only maybe half his fault. Izuku wasn't a monster.
Mother by his side, Izuku was then asked questions he easily replied to without much prodding. What's your Quirk, they asked. I don't know, he answered. There were many more after the usual few, not including the ones the occasional reporter managed to sneak in.
Smartly, he didn't answer those. It was assuring when Kaa-san also threatened to file a lawsuit if they released any unconsented footage of the scene. He needed that, really. Izuku managed to force a dry smile when his mother had placed a warm hand on his back as she defended his privacy.
Once his mother and he returned back home, Izuku made a beeline to his room. He hurriedly shut the door, locking it behind him. He couldn't exactly face his mother at the moment. Shame and guilt dominated almost everything else, shoving anxiety and oh Kami, I have a quirk back temporarily.
He screwed up. Kaa-san's face had been wretched. At the expression she wore, Izuku might as well have gutted her with a rusty knife after announcing he'd found his calling in committing murder. Izuku hadn't caught a shadow of disappointment when Kaa-san came to pick him up. Only pure, unadulterated worry and fear for him.
Throwing himself to the bounce of his springy bed, Izuku wept into his pillow, forcing himself to sleep. No baths or dinner was taken that night, and the next morning had his scalp itching like mad.
Izuku was scrubbing away the grime with soap when his mother's hushed voice went through the bathroom door. "Izuku?" She politely inquired, voice trembling a little.
He hated it when her voice got like that. Izuku dropped all activities, clenching his fist while he watched the dirt seep into the drain. Briefly, his brain stumbled for words to say. Yes, Kaa-san? Do you need anything? How may I help you?
The green-haired teen settled for a polite grunt instead. Almost comically, he fumbled to squeeze out a good dollop of shampoo to lather messy curls with. This way, Izuku could pretend he had a reason to be mute. It was ironically dirty, but the move did its work.
Inko let out an understanding noise and Izuku only felt the squeeze of guilt tighten. "Izuku, you haven't eaten anything since yesterday evening. I made Katsudon!" She false cheered. Unheard, her son sniffled.
When the silence dragged a little to long for comfort, Inko braced to continue. "You know can talk to Kaa-san about anything, right? I-I love you, Izuku. I'll always be here for you no matter what."
A part of him wanted to bristle defensively, unwilling to reveal anything related to yesterday's incident. It wasn't as if he knew what had happened either. And Izuku was also emotionally exhausted. Despite sleeping till noon, he wasn't anywhere near ready to talk about it.
Inko left when it was clear her son wasn't ready. She continuously looked over her shoulder as she made steps down the corridor. The mother soon arrived at her beloved kitchen and pulled out the stash of chips she kept hidden in one of the shelves. Inko ate, eyes darting everywhere but the food she made for Izuku.
Izuku ate like his life depended on it. Pinch after pinch with his favourite pair of chopsticks, rice and chicken were wiped off the face of the bowl at record speed. Inko head was far too up in the clouds to notice, and she'd blame herself for it for a long time to come. Because she should've noticed, she really should've.
It was the first time Izuku hadn't thanked her for the meal. It was already too late when the change grew despairingly obvious.
Izuku picked up his pen. At first to get a grasp on his thoughts- it helped greatly when he went through the therapeutic act of making notes- and later because he was changing. The listings extended slowly but surely – one month may not seem very long, but it was enough for his personality to do a full one-eighty.
Quirk: Unknown
Effects: Knock-down? Indefinite unconsciousness?
Notes: I sent two someone(s) into the hospital. They said his name's Tsukauchi Naomasa and no one knows if he'll get up again. Something tells me he will, but it may just be a feeling.
Someone's in a coma because of me.
I put someone in a coma.
The Villain went by Pain and he was taken away too, but there had been little news on him afterwards – like Tsukauchi-san. They told me Pain was fine. What was different?
I can become a Hero.
Quirk: Unknown
Effects: To be tested. Effect of unconsciousness is likely. (Purchase feeder mice, female only.)
Side-effect: Nightmares? Disassociation? (Or maybe that's just the PTSD talking, me. What're you trying to prove.)
Notes: Skipped school today. The doctor said disassociating was normal after experiencing a traumatic experience. I wanted to tell him that my spirit could've won the fucking Olympics with the distance it leaped out from my body. I didn't, because Kaa-san looked at me funny. Should've-
1 mouse (small) = 220 yen.
Quirk: Coma
Effects: Putting live organisms into a state of indefinite unconsciousness.
Side-effects: Nightmares. Disassociation. (mostly at night crowded places. Stop lying to yourself, Izuku.)
Notes: Haven't gone to class for 4 days. Got the mice (4). The nightmares and stuff is getting worse, but I feel less with every turn. Possibly related to Quirk.
I forgot to thank Kaa-san after eating again. Will strive to rectify. I don't understand why I don't care.
Experiment: Takes place at 2349, day/month/year.
Mau-chan experienced similar effects as Tsukauchi-san after 2.13 seconds. It appears that subject must be within viewing range. Nothing happened when Mau-chan was covered.
Quirk: Sensory deprivation
Effects: Look above.
Side-effects: Nightmares. Disassociation. (Perhaps it may not just be the Quirk)
Notes: 2 weeks since my last appearance in school. Kacchan must be happy.
Mice Su-chan was pregnant. I have an addition of 6 baby mice now. Reminder to purchase extra bedding, feed, and a separate housing.
Initial assumption about Quirk had been wrong. The mice had been noisy and I couldn't sleep. I heard them, and wished for the noise to stop. It did. The subjects showcased signs of deafness and muteness, but they could still move.
Quirk: 3 Wise Monkeys
Effects: Deprivation of sight, speak, and sound. Targets must be within range of my sight or sound for respective deprivation to take place. Duration is unknown.
Side-effects: Indifference?
Someone spat in my face today. He was from school, probably. I ignored the jeers and walk past – the mice needed their wheels and artificial crevices. I realised I didn't care for the boy. There was nothing. No fear, offense, anger.
Went home to ask. Kaa-san states that she doesn't remember the last time I smiled. I don't remember the last time I dreamed to become a Hero. There is no joy, no sadness, no disgust. The nightmares are still present, but they've become tedious.
Quirk disadvantages: Hard to control, intense focus needed or else effect: coma will take place.
Notes: 3 weeks. The school called twice. I don't understand why Kaa-san has allowed it to drag as long as it did.
I still pertain memories of the past. I understand the reasoning behind what I should do and why I must, but the urge to act upon it has disappeared. Good and evil do not matter anymore. It's very hollow inside; it would be logical to keep it unchanged. Weakness is inconvenient.
