CHAPTER NINE
By now, White, Lucario and Pikachu were carefully hiding in an alley in Saffron City, slinking around. Saffron City was an enormous, grandiose place with buildings that seemed to deliberately appear as big and fancy as possible. In fact, it was almost insulting how much gold there was all around. Gold-painted homes, several apartment blocks that glittered with the same bright hue, a light golden road leading the average citizen around the city...
And to top it off, the infamous "Saffron SILPH Company" building in the center of the city, a crystalline structure with a large, ovalesque dome at the top and thousands of glittering windows lining up and down the front and back, dozens of Pokémon visible through said windows.
The entire place could have been summed up in one word. "Show off".
White could not have been happier. "The energy of this place, all the hustle and bustle." He told Lucario and Pikachu as they carefully looked left, then right, diving into another alley. "I could get used to this!" He said out loud. "But why are there no people out on the streets? Is everyone just staying indoors to watch a ballgame or something?"
"No, I believe that there's a quarantine on Saffron City." Lucario explained. "Supposedly, a Pokémon was spreading a dangerous infection and they urged everyone in Saffron to stay in their homes until they guilty party was found. But that was over two weeks ago..." Lucario went on softly, sadly as they slunk through the northwest suburb of the city, passing by the "Pokémon Fan Club" towards a rather odd-looking house.
"Eevee came here on the behest of the people who live in this house to do his radio show here in Saffron. It's all charity work to bring attention to the cause of the people here. I even loaned him my finest motorcycle to help him get here." Lucario went on as they approached the house. It seemed to be made of a strange, reflective kind of material. It wasn't doing anything but mimicking the outside...
"This is the home of the Copycat Duo." Lucario explained. "Doduo and Chatot. They'll know where Eevee's broadcasting from. But you'd best stay hidden, understand? We'll do the talking."
White rolled his eyes, "harrumphing" as he hid behind the house, Lucario and Pikachu knocking. Soon, two figures answered the door opening up a slit at the top of the doorframe. "Hello?" came the sound of two voices speaking in unison, an unmistakable sort of "squawk" to their words.
"Doduo, Chatot?" Lucario spoke, smiling at them.
"Hold on. Who's with you?" A parrot-like Pokémon with a yellow "bib" on it's chest and a pinkish beak insisted, looking down at Pikachu.
"This is Pikachu." Lucario explained. "Pikachu of the Deep Forest."
Pikachu bowed, holding his paws together. "Hai."
"We're searching for Eevee of the Valley Clan. Is he in your home?"
"Nah." A tall, brown bird that was somewhat like a kind of mutant ostrich or emu said, it's long beak shaking back and forth, black eyes held tight. "He's broadcasting straight at the roof of Silph Company."
"But you'll never be able to get inside without an appointment." Chatot insisted.
"Well, we'll go and make one, then." Lucario said, nodding and leaving them be as they quickly rounded the house, finding White there. "He's at Silph Company. Right on the roof, apparently."
"Well then, why didn't you just says so?" White laughed. "Come on." He said, quickly picking them both up and suddenly taking off down the road, speeding along like a roadrunner. "We'll be there in no time!"
"If you could have done this at ANY time, why did you have us steal that truck?" Pikachu demanded to know, angrily shaking his fist at White.
"Not any time. Only when I felt like it." White said.
"OH, YOU-!"
Meanwhile, an Eevee with a pink ribbon wrapped around his neck was speaking into a microphone as he sat at a desk atop the roof of Silph Company. The dome itself was actually part of the roof, providing him with an excellent view of the entire city whilst simultaneously allowing him the protection of not being blown away by, say, the gale force winds that were being whipped up at the top of the roof.
"Well good mornin', Saffron City! It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor! Would you be mine? Could you be mine?" Eevee sang out happily. "I hope I get to move in your neighborhood some day...the problem is, when I move in...you move away!" He then let out peals of giggling laughter before finally settling down.
"Now today, I want to discuss a topic very close to me. In fact, I'm actually broadcasting atop it the headquarters of Silph Company. Everybody knows how much Silph did for Saffron. This beautiful eleven story skyscraper didn't just provide us with a large number of office phones for young Pokémon to make prank calls out of on Halloween, they've manufactured all the potions, technical machines, repel spray and vitamins we could ever want."
Eevee then pressed a small button on the radio console he was using as a small little commercial message began to play. "Rare Candy! What you want! What you need! Rare Candy! Raising levels for 70 years. RARE CANDY!...Possible side effects include debility, sudden change in disposition, sleeplessness, poor posture, blindness, epilepsy and death..."
Eevee flicked another switch, turning himself back on and resuming the broadcast. "And this week, they've finally put this imposed quarantine the Legendaries stuck us all in, a moment of silence in respect...to good use! Ladies and gentlemen...it is my GREAT pleasure to announce...the new, improved...FULL RESTORE! That's right, sure to cure what ails you!"
Eevee adjusted his pink ribbon and laughed. "Ah, and it gets better! Tonight, Silph Company opens its doors to let every single resident of Saffron City inside to be cured! Ah, but enough of that moving, touching news. Time for something sensational. In half an hour, I'm having conservative commentator Deoxys come in for an interview! It...at least it SAYS it's an "it"...is most famous for the provocative viewpoint it seems to have on human society!"
Eevee rolled his eyes. "So VERY, VERY uncool. I tell you, everyone, we're all entitled to our own opinions, but some of the things he's said I simply can't get behind! And I'm willing to get behind ANYONE, woh-HOHHHH! My mandatory gay joke for the day!" He promptly rung a small gong that he had in a box nearby, and giggled before resuming the talk show, noticing that a white-haired human was carrying a Lucario and Pikachu towards the door on the side of the dome he was in.
Odd. The wind was harsh though, refusing to let them go any further. He shrugged, deciding to move on.
...
...
...
... the birthplace of the Space Pirates, planet was coming into view. Samus frowned, folding her arms, familiar old memories slowly rising back to the front of her mind.
It was the color of blood, with slow-moving clouds carefully making their way over the planet's surface. There were bright lights shining in specific areas...heavy light pollution from cities below. There had once been a gigantic shield around it...now there was nothing. It was laid bare for all to see, an ugly little thing that looked like a redhead zit that was developing upon the face of the galaxy.
"It should have been DESTROYED." Samus murmured. "I KNOW I saw it blow up...how could it have returned..." She wondered to herself.
"Planet Urtraghus is covered with acid rain." Snizzi informed them all as their ships touched down silently at a clearing of a forest behind some large mountain ranges. "Nobody go out there unless they've got protective shielding on."
Samus turned to the others. "Looks like you'll have to stay here unless you've got something up your sleeve." She told Kirby.
"Oh, not up my sleeve. In my mouth. Take a good look." Kirby said, opening up his maw, pointing at it with his stubby appendage. Samus blinked a few times, leaning in...
With a TWHOOOSH she was sucked inside his mouth, a momentary large, bloated bulge visible in Kirby's body. Then there was a sparkle of light, a faint, twinkling sound and...
Kirby was now covered in Samus's armor, a green visor across his eyes as he cocked his own plasma buster arm in the air. "Ready for action!" He said, saluting Samus, who gave him a look.
"If...you ever do that again...without my permission..." She said darkly.
"Uh, comprende, senorita!" Kirby said quickly, shaking like a leaf as Nick held up one hand, clenching it into a fist.
"Day and night, you're by my side, protecting meeee!" He sang out.
Before their eyes, a faintly shining shield appeared around him, circular in form, a faint white coloration that was very, very transparent. "This ought to work." He told them as Samus led them outside of the ship towards Snizzi, who was standing calmly in the acid rain.
"Don't be so surprised. I'm from Hell. This is nothing more than a tingly bath to me." Snizzi said, noticing Nick's surprised expression. He then used his tail and began to carve out a drawing in the ground. "We are here. The Space Pirates have been steadily declining in activity, leading me to believe they are planning a sort of "last hurrah" due to what information we could gleam. And we know they plan to do it here, we've had dozens of ships tracked back to this location and all loaded up with enough ammunition to blow entire planets to kingdom come."
"So why don't you just launch a missile at the planet and blow them all up to smithereens?" Kirby asked, looking annoyed. "Or get in the armada or something to-"
"Any ships with enough firepower to do what you're suggesting would be big, bulky, and too noticeable. Our ships are small, able to go off-the-radar. This requires something simpler, am I correct?" Samus asked calmly.
"Yes. We take charges." Snizzi explained, holding up a protected metal box filled with explosive mines. "We plant them at the headquarters of the Space Pirate base...and then we get the hell out of dodge, making sure to blow the planet up when we're well and clear of the blast radius." He laughed.
"How will we FIND the base?" Nick wanted to know. "You said you had inside information. A map? A secret memo? Battleplans?"
Snizzi smirked and led them to the back of his ship, opening up the back hatch. There was a fairly tall, unarmored space pirate. It had six eyes embedded in a pinkish head upon it's faintly light teal body, and three long-clawed hands that were forcibly tied behind it's back along with it's "chicken legs". It's sharp, long teeth snapped at them as it hissed furiously.
"Better than that." Snizzi said cheerfully.
"I won't betray my organization! DEATH before dishonor!" It screeched furiously at them. "You've not got any of your fancy machines to force me to tell the truth here, you infernal imp!"
"How about we make him talk by playing a few rounds of "who's your daddy" with his FACE?" Nick said, slamming his fist into his palm.
"Oh, no, no. That won't work. This being's fully bought into the teachings of the Space Pirates. He's not afraid to die, are you?" Samus asked calmly, approaching him.
"Tis GOSPEL indeed!" The space pirate prisoner sneered.
"...there are worse things...than dying." Samus whispered, grabbing his head and pulling him close so he could look into her eyes as they intently gazed at him, the visor rising so he could see the cold-hearted ruthlessness within. "Do you see this suit I'm wearing? I can do things to you that are absolutely inhuman. I can take you apart...and put your back together again..."
The space pirate began to nervously twitch. It's six eyes began to widen in horror, pupils becoming small pricks as Samus went on in that slow, dark-intent voice.
"And maybe I put you back together right...and maybe I don't. And over...and over...and OVER..."
"I'll talk." The prisoner squeaked.
"Gooooood." She said, patting him on the side of the head, stepping away as the prisoner hung it's head in shame, wishing it had a tongue to bite through.
"Our base is located deep in the Phazon Mines in the mountains near here. It's hundreds of miles down near the core of the planet. Just getting there will be a challenge!" He insisted. "Not to mention all the security we have! "
BAM! A quick punch from Samus knocked him out. "Let US worry about that." She said, turning to the others. "Well, we know where to go. Let's split up. Kirby will go with Nick, I'll go with you." She told Snizzi.
"Why can't Nick go with-" Snizzi began, pouting slightly.
"I know these space pirates better than any of you, that's why." She said. "And I've been here before. If what he said is true, then I might have actually visited the place where they now have their headquarters. You can find it by following the trail of luminous phazon." She explained. She noticed the blank stares she was getting from Nick and Kirby and sighed. "The big, glowy blusih stuff in the walls of the mines."
"...ah." Nick said, nodding as they began to make their trek to the mountains, a looming cave slowly coming into view...
...
...
...
..."Deoxys's new book, "Viral Campaign" is based off it's latest proposal. It posits that humans don't develop any natural equilibriums with their area, and are thus akin to viruses. In addition, Deoxys has insisted in his new book that "humans hate all Pokémon", "humans hate all Religion except one that's convenient", "humans have no concrete morality", and my personal favorite, "if humans were in charge, they'd put us all in zoos or coliseums"."
Eevee twirled the ribbon in one furry digit Seeing Pikachu had filled with old memories, but he tried to ignore them for the moment, concentrating on the show. "Frankly, if being put in a zoo means I'd get to sleep in a bed that doesn't have bedbugs infesting it, that's just fine with me. THAT'S the real threat Saffron City has: not a mystery virus, but BEDBUGS. Can somebody let me bunk with them? I promise, I'm a perfect gentleman, ladies. And I like dicks, so I promise not to stick my frank and beans in your taco salad in the middle of-"
The door to the dome atop Silph Co opened up and Lucario, Pikachu and White all toppled inside. Eevee decided it was time to cut to commercial, quickly flicking another switch, some "muzak" beginning to play. "We'll be right back after these messages, folks!" He exclaimed, quickly unplugging the microphone from the desk and hopping over to the Pokémon and the albino. "Pikachu! Lucario! How are you! And...who are YOU?" He asked White.
White helped Pikachu and Lucario up, folding his arms. "White." He said simply. "We need your help."
"...sigh." Eevee sat down on his rump, lowering his head and shaking it back and forth.
So much for the façade.
"...I've known for a while that there was SOMETHING off about everything. It was all too...perfect." He murmured. "Nobody insulting me for being gay. Nobody casting strange glances at me. Things were simple. Easy. But...but nobody remembered him either. Remembered the person who kept insisting that people like me should be treated well..."
He opened his eyes to look intently at them. "You remembered Nick?" He asked Pikachu.
"...when did you?" Pikachu asked.
"When I saw you." Eevee said. "I started remembering things..."
"Good day to you!" Eevee said cheerily as he walked into the enormous garbage dump, as several dozen mammalian creatures with a skull for a helmet walked out, with armadillo-esque yellow Pokémon poking out of trash piles. Eevee had a small little yellow Pokemon on his back, a baby Sandshrew that hopped off and ran over to it's mother. "I found her in the woods. I imagine the poor dear wandered off from home?"
"Oh, yes." One of the skull-wearing Pokémon, a Cubone, said. "Thank you very much sir."
"You are very nice man." A feminine Sandslash said, it's long brown quills jutting down from it's yellow body, looking Eevee over. "Let me read your future. May I see your palm?"
Eevee blinked a few times, and nervously turned his paw over. "OOOOOOH!" The woman gasped.
"What is it?" Eevee inquired, looking nervous.
"Trouble!"
"Well if that's all you can see, I can tell YOUR fortune too!" Eevee wisecracked.
"You must be careful, for if you are not, I see...somebody approaching. He does not mean you well. You know the one who will stand with him though...know him quite well. Ahhhh...and now..." The Sandslash passed a claw over his paw in a circle. "I see you becoming famous...I see many people cheering at the sight of your face, but...OHHH!" She gasped. "A terrible disaster! Oh, such sinister intent surrounding you!"
"Uh, well, I...think...I'll be fine." Eevee remarked nervously. "In any case, you all really should camp somewhere else, not this dump. It's unhealthy."
"Do you think we're living here because we LIKE it?" One Marowak snapped, waving a bony club in the air as he approached Eevee. "That bully Regigigas who protects the mountains around here refused to let us live anywhere else since we have a sick couple of children! Until somebody arrives with medicine, he won't let us leave!"
"Oh, for-" Eevee shook his head. "Inexcusable!" He snapped. "You're NOT staying here. Where's he living? He and I shall have words. HOT words!"
They all pointed up to a very large cave some miles away near the base of the mountain range. Eevee nodded at them all, taking off to head inside. It was not long before the darkness of the cave began to surround him.
And then he heard a voice...two of them. One was-
"PIKACHU!" Eevee gasped. "You were there! But...but that's all I remember." He told them. "I can't remember who the other voice belonged to. It was so...alien...to me..."
"We'll figure it out." White said. "But listen, there's some other Pokémon we need to track down. Do you think you could, say...host a contest? A contest in which certain specific winners will be picked?" He added, giving Eevee a wink.
"You mean you want me to violate my standards as a radio host to rig a contest just so I can pull certain Pokémon here to Saffron?" Eevee asked, looking mortified. "...okay!" He said cheerily. "I'll get back on right now!" He added, hopping back to the desk.
...
...
...
... "This entire place is disturbing." Nick muttered as he and Kirby made their way down the long, metallic hallways of the Phazon Mines. The floor was an ugly painted shade of red/brown, with thick wires and cables lining the walls, phazon peering out from the cracks behind it. There was a pulsing, throbbing sound filling Nick's ears, like the beating of a giant heart, and an enormous, long window to the right of the hall he and Kirby were in.
The window showed off an enormous cannon of some kind that had been long abandoned, used for mining purposes. It hung over an enormous pit, gray and silent, dead and unused for apparently years. Yet although everything in this place LOOKED dead, just by touching the walls and the tubes...
"Warm." Nick said softly. "All of this is being used, but...but they're trying to make it look as though they're NOT being used. This reeks of treachery." He told Kirby, who was moving his buster arm left and right, small black eyes narrowed intently.
"C'mon, you space pirate freaks. I'll take on all of you at once!" Kirby muttered angrily.
"Will you quit acting like a spaz!" Nick whispered. "SHH!"
"Sorry, sorry." Kirby murmured as he and Nick kept walking through the hallway, secretly humming "Secret Agent Man" in his head as he and Nick reached a very long, slanting railway heading down into dark recesses. Kirby pressed a button on the side of his visor, turning on "thermal vision". "...Nick." He whispered. "...I see space pirates down there...carrying a LOT of explosives."
"Really?" Nick whispered, carefully sticking to the side of the wall. "...listen, I have an idea. How many do you see?"
"Three."
"Okay, good, good. Can you curl up into a morph ball the way Samus can?" Nick asked.
"Uh...with this suit on, yeah." Kirby supposed. "...OH!" He then grinned. "I got it, I got it!" He quickly ran towards the railway, and then tucked into a ball.
SFX: Bowling pins crash
Nick calmly headed down to where Kirby was, several space pirates scattered all around a large room, dropped boxes of explosives lying nearby. Good thing they required a trigger to set off, Nick thought to himself as he looked them over. In fact, they kind of looked like the ones he and the others were planning-
Wait. His eyes widened. Suddenly he got it. "Kirby." He said quickly as Kirby dusted himself off. "If all of the explosives here on this planet are just like this, this is one big trap! They wanted to lure us here and-"
The sound of clicking gun barrels alerted him to the visible presence of a dozen space pirates who had all leveled their guns at him. "Hello." One said cheerily.
"...aw, dang." Nick groaned. "KIRBY, RUN!" He yelled, tossing himself at the space pirates as Kirby bolted. A slew of plasma bullets soared through the air, bouncing off the shield Nick had around him as he punched and kicked at them. "FIENDS! RUFFIANS! MONSTERS!" He roared as they all seemed to slowly retreat away from him, watching expectantly. "You'll never get away-"
Then THE shield finally gave out, just as a clawed fist smacked him hard across the head. Once...twice...
And down he went.
Meanwhile, a shot from a claw-like plasma cannon whizzed over Samus's head as she aimed her own arm cannon, firing off several rounds of plasma in the direction of the space pirates that were keeping her and Snizzi from going deeper into the mines. A SHUDDA-SHUDDA-SHUDDA sound echoed through the air as Samus fired over and over, Snizzi clenching his fist.
"Stand back, Samus, lemme give it a try!" He called out, pulsing purple toxicity sloughing off his three-digited hands. He quickly dove down the railway leading deeper into the depths, his hands held high as purplish blasts shot out rapid fire, slamming into the bodies of the firing space pirates, who were blown back.
"What the? You think we'll be stopped by THAT!" One of them said with clear amusement in it's voice. It seemed to have only had the wind knocked out of it as it and it's friends got back up...only to begin choking rapidly, purplish goo slowly seeping out of their mouths, their eyes rolling back in their heads.
"It's not the dart that kills you, it's what it's loaded with." Snizzi said calmly as he motioned for Samus to follow him. "Look at all of these explosives." He told Samus as they approached a large cache, Samus suddenly receiving a call from Galactic Federation HQ. "This whole place'll go up in one hell of a bang!" The imp said cheerily.
"Samus, come in, come in!" Erin's voice rang out from the communications channel Samus was listening to. "It's a trap! It's a-"
The sound of plasma fire. Samus's eyes widened in horror, then she turned to Snizzi. "Sir, we've walked right-"
"Into a trap? I would think so." A smug, cold voice spoke up as Samus and Snizzi turned to see a fat, balding reptilian beast standing there, small spikes jutting up from it's head and it's bloated stomach. "We meet again, Aran." It's gruff voice said, a sneer appearing on it's scaly features.
"...Kraid." Samus muttered.
"Oh bloody freakin' hell." Snizzi groaned. "The tubbaguts of the Space Pirates himself..."
"Just for that, I'm having your tail for dinner tonight." Kraid sneered. "I'm sure you were expecting some big, final battle, but that ain't happening. This is a trap. SEIZE THEM." He demanded as the Space Pirates surged forward, quickly burying Samus and Snizzi in a pile of armored, clawed bodies.
...
...
...
... "BACK! BACK, I say!" Link roared out, black bombs launching through the air towards the oncoming space pirates that were swarming the GF HQ, trying to launch wave after wave at the communications room. He had barely managed to get rid of the ones that had attempted to destroy the computer systems within thanks to Alex's help, but now he, Alex and Erin were pinned inside of the communications room. "We've got to escape from this horrible place!" He insisted.
"But how? There's no vents to sneak out from, there's space pirates blocking the only other entrance out..." Erin murmured. "...wait. Service entrances. There HAVE to be service entrances." She insisted, her fingers moving swiftly over the keyboard, a diagram of the headquarters appearing on the screen. "...yes! There's one that leads from here to the laboratories...and then another one in there that's hidden behind the generators that we can take to the spaceport!"
"Then I must go there." Link said, nodding firmly.
Alex and Erin gave him a glance like he was insane. "Link, are you serious!" Erin protested. "You can't go there! You've no idea how to fly a ship!"
"I've no idea how to work any of the technology here like you two do. But I know how to defeat enemies." He told them. "Even armored ones. You can take back the headquarters here, while I go to the Space Pirate homeworld save our friends! It's precisely because I have no technology that they will not be expecting me."
"That's...not...a bad idea." Erin realized. "You've not got any fancy suits or computerized weaponry. They wouldn't be able to track any sort of electrical signature like they've no doubt already done to our friends...and your unorthodox tactics, they might be just what we need to save the others. They'll be expecting guns a-blazing commandos...but not a swordsman who has stealth on his side."
"Precisely." Alex said to her in a calm voice, despite the absolute mayhem around them. "It's the same reason I get around with no one noticing, no technology to track."
"Alright. I'll direct you to the spaceport while Alex holds off the Space Pirates here."Erin decided. "Then we'll try and lead you towards their planet on the communications channel." She said, pulling out a small, circular earbud and placing it in Link's long ears. She then pulled adjusted the computer console to a certain frequency as Link tapped the ear bud. It felt so...alien to him.
"It responds to your thoughts. Think "broadcast channel 2.54." Erin explained.
Link concentrated on that channel as Erin whispered into a small microphone, though he could hear it in his head plain as day. "Can you hear me?"
"Absolutely ASTONISHING." He exclaimed. "I...I must say, some of the technology here is absolutely...I'm amazed!" He told them. "It's like magic!"
"Sort of." Erin admitted. "Now head to that service entrance and make your way straight down to the laboratory." Erin ordered him as Link quickly moved aside some large crates, finding a hidden opening in the floor. He opened it up, and began to descend down a long ladder as Alex took up a fighting position outside of the door, more Space Pirates rushing towards him.
Time for him to play a little "defense".
Running at the first one, he caught it with a flying side kick, catching it in the chest with both feet. It fell back like a bag of cement, instantly cracking its head against the ground with a KRUCHA-THWULK.
Alex then used its momentum to carry himself into a punch into another pirates face, before grabbing what he HOPED was hair and throwing it towards another slew of space pirates, knocking them down like bowling pins. As good as his fighting was, more and more pirates were pouring in, so he flipped back.
"Thank a certain witch for this one..." he reminded himself, before snapping his fingers. A torrent of blue fire rushed from him before plunging underground, only to resurface as a giant snarling dragon head, formed from the flames.
"Oh sh-" Several space pirates gasped as it surged over them, baking them. But then Alex heard the unmistakable whine of a very, very powerful plasma cannon and turned to see several Space Pirates holding up a tube-like cannon directly at him.
"How do you like your humans? Rare? Personally I prefer them WELL DONE!" The "leader" cackled, as a swirling red/blue beam of plasma energy rushed out towards Alex.
...
...
...
...Nick awoke to find himself, Samus and Snizzi all tied up, surrounded on all sides by heavily armed Space Pirates, facing down not only Kraid and an unmistakably grim-looking Ridley, but-
No. Not her. A dark, bluish-glowing figure that looked all too much like Samus. Clawed, gloved hands. A glowing visor. A smooth, armored body, with tiny veins of dark phazon visible...
Dark Samus. The glee coming off of her was so thick you could have cut it with a knife.
"How good to see you again." She commented, looking upon them all. "I'm surprised you're still alive, human." She told Nick. "I had thought, with your luck, you would have slipped on a meteorite and broken your neck. But yet, to find you here..." She rubbed her "chin". "Quite the stroke of luck, actually. Our sensors didn't detect an ounce of advanced technology on you, yet you seem able to replicate the protective measures of an advanced Varia suit like that my loathsome copy wears."
"...and you want to know how I did it." Nick stated. Of course. Anything to give the Space Pirates another edge over "inferior" species. He was both glad that villains always had to pump their victims for information and yet simultaneously annoyed. It was so, so OLD.
He was too young for this, he really was. Most kids his age had to worry about whether they should have sex for the first time. What their next exam was going to be about. What kind of car they wanted to ask for their birthday.
Not for him! For him it was "Who's going to be the next person to stick me in a pit and ask me to put lotion on my skin"!
"Indeed. Tell me what it is so I won't need to have these men indulge in their...darker sides."Dark Samus inquired. "Since Mother Brain is tragically not available to witness your destruction, I'll have to have my men videotape it all. No doubt she'll be quite pleased with what she finds. But I tell me what I wish to know, I'll go easy on you. I can be merciful...at times..." She said softly.
"...fairy dust." Nick commented coldly. "Magic fairy dust from Oompah-Loompah Land."
BA-BAM! A punch across the face from Kraid. "Quit the jokes!"
"Hmph. I see you'd rather be my enemy. But even if you wish to die, you still have to tell me your secret before you can." She said coldly. "With a power like yours, I could use it to-"
"Take over the galaxy?" Nick remarked, some blood dribbling down his chin.
"Of course!" Dark Samus laughed.
"I've been around Mr. Grey here for some time." Snizzi said calmly, getting the attention of the others. They all peered eagerly at him. "I'm telling you now...it's fairy dust."
HE was now punched in the face as Dark Samus turned to her "loathsome copy". "Are you going to be a good girl and talk...or am I going to have to torture your friends in front of you to get you to talk?" She inquired.
Samus's eyes were cold stones. "They're not my "friends". And even if they were, that wouldn't get me to talk."
"Bum-bum-bum-YOU'RE AS COLD AS ICE!" Nick sang out harshly at Samus.
And that's when things got...weird.
