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Chapter 8 was a big success for me

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Once again, the sun shone brightly towards my half-lid eyes for the 45th time since I imprisoned myself inside my room. It was the 45th day of my no-school, no-going-outside-my-room, no-eating-except-toasted-bread-and-milk, no-seeing-anyone-except-my-maid, no-talking, no-inhaling-fresh-air, no-hearing-of-noisy-car-honks, no-annoying-people, no-friends, no nothing.

I refrained myself from stepping outside this room cause maybe one lucky day I might find myself drowning in a black whole that will eat me alive and trigger myself from going insane. Or maybe I just don't want to see anyone. The clock reads 10:31 am in the morning and yet still I haven't moved an inch. I heaved a sigh.

Since that special day 45 days ago, I haven't seen any of my friends. 44 days ago, I started receiving nonstop phone calls and text messages. I haven't answered any of them, but they left me voice messages. They all said the same goddamn things over and over. "It's not what you think." And "Ikuto loves you." Ikuto. He was my everything.

I leaped out of my bed, lazily walking towards my bathroom. I turned the knob then opened the door, the reflection of myself now visible in front of my eyes. I admired myself from the mirror; nothing has really changed within those 45 miserable days. Except for the fact that my eyes were emotionless, my skin was paler than before, I grew thinner, and yet, as I stared even deeper, every single thing has changed.

I walked outside the bathroom after washing my face and brushing my teeth. The clock now reads 10:58 am. I turned my head to the left to find that necklace and pendant dangling and shimmering on the other empty side of the room. A tremendous pang shot me in the head, then a memory slipped by.

- Flashback – Amu's POV -

I felt hot burning tears falling from my eyes. My body was so shocked I can barely move. I can't help but cry. My knees started to shiver then after a milli-second; I was kneeling down, still helplessly crying. I could now taste the tears welling down from my orbs. It was salty.

"Amu, it's alright. I called Ikuto over; I know he can reduce the pain." My mother said, wiping some tears from my cheek. I slowly turned around to face him, but all of a sudden, the expression on his face seemed more different from before.

"Ikuto," I murmured. Tears were suddenly pouring harder. I needed someone to give me a shoulder to cry on, but that person isn't him.

He stood there, eyes affixed with mine. His face was in shock, completely terrified, his face looked paler than usual, and the way he looked at me, with such pitiful eyes. He didn't move an inch.

- End of Flashback -

The painful stabbing inside my stomach was still going on. It's like a million daggers were slicing every inch inside my body. Imagining him in that particular expression reminded me of something. The death of my grandmother never affected him; it was the way I acted towards my dead grandmother. He didn't leant me his shoulders because he's terrified of the way I acted. It was the very first time I cried, that heavily, in front of him, or in front of all those people back then. He was paralyzed cause he didn't know what to do. And that's when I thought that I could never let him see me shed a tear.

I walked towards my study table then grabbed my book. I then started reading. Mom said I should start studying on my own, of course until I decided I should go back to school. She understood what was going on with my life. She understood everything, even though I haven't said a word. She also said that I shouldn't hesitate on things I should do.

The clock now reads 12:09 pm. The maid knocked on the door then let herself in. She placed the tray full of food on the coffee table then excused herself. It was always the same everyday. I never leave my door lock. Simply because I don't want to answer it every time the maid comes in. I figured that Mom told Ami not to disturb me or anyone else in the house. I also heard her say that I don't want anyone, or any visitor, to come visit me, except for our maid/s. She knows me all too well.

I saw the tray with a bentou, a plate of toasted bread, a glass of milk, a glass of water, a glass of juice, a cup of hot coco, a strawberry jam, some utensils, and a pile of tissue. I grabbed the toasted bread then took a bite; the taste was always the same. So I grabbed the knife, opened the jar of jam, then gently spread it on my toasted bread. After eating, I took the glass of warm milk then drank it all up. After eating my brunch, I took the tray, opened the door, then placed it on the other side, shutting the door with a great slam.

It was 5:11 pm. I grew tired. I was now bored, a memory bitch-slapped me hard on the face. The stabbing inside me grew more intense.

- Flashback – Amu's POV – 46 days ago -

"I'm Ikuto's fiancé." Hoshina Utau said, smirking. I grew stiff. Then the words she said echoed inside my head, haunting every inch of me. I didn't reply.

"N..oooo! Iiiiiii….tt'ssss n..ooooooot iiiiiiiii.t l…oooookssssss liiiiiiiii…..ke!" I could hear Ikuto say those words in a very slow manner. I can feel the weight of the world revolving beneath my feet, everything was in slow motion.

"Yooouuuuuur'e m…yyy fiiiiian….ceee!!" Hoshina Utau said. She then turned towards me with fiercely looking eyes. I blinked twice but the image of her started becoming blurry. She was about to slap me but was caught by Ikuto. I turned to face him, but everything was fading. I tried to run away.

The moment I set foot outside their mansion, my knees fell, it was like a hundred hurtful gun shots were piercing within me, my eyes were fighting the urge of closing but it suddenly snapped close, I heard Ikuto shout my name a thousand times, I felt his warm breath touch my skin, I wanted so badly to open my eyes and speak but I failed badly, the only thing that reminded me of him was the smell of his perfume, then I felt unconscious.

I opened my eyes to reveal a strange ray of light. The scent of Ikuto now fluttered my mind.

"Ikuto?" I said, forcefully opening my eyes.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry. He already left with a girl a while ago." My mother stroked my hair, patting it softly. I was so sure that any moment now I would be bursting into tears, but none came out. Instead of tears, I felt as if a black whole was forming inside my system with daggers stabbing every inch of me with every rotation it makes. The scent of his perfume was still enveloping my sense of smell. But then again, he's gone.

- End of Flashback -

I could've sworn I was bursting into tears, but when I touched my cheek, it was dry. The black hole inside me was growing bigger than before. The painful stabbing was more painful; I dashed inside my bathroom, looking at my reflection. The stabbing, once again, started to emerge quite badly. My stomach was beating the same pace as my heart, then the beating arises from my throat and above. I coughed roughly; I tried to remove all the signs of the beating inside my throat. But then I can't control it anymore. I tried to stop my coughing but it gets worse. I felt my mouth was excreting some sort of unwanted things inside my system. I heard something splat on the sink, like hard liquid. I opened my eyes to find myself in great amount of sweat. I looked at the sink. It was covered with blood.

The sight of the horrible thing was unbearable. I crawled quickly away from the bathroom then stumbled against something which caused me to crash hard on the carpet. The red liquid was still occupying every inch of my mind. I wanted to cry, but those tears I wanted to shed were not found. The black hole was emerging, and the pain won't stop. I knew that the black hole was eating me, slowly.

I crawled towards my bed then wiped the sweat. I turned my head towards my right to find that particular knife I used to spread the jam. It was lying perfectly on my desk beside the lava lamp. I grabbed the knife then gently cleaned it with my blouse. It was perfect. I figured that it would be more convenient to die from that knife quickly than to slowly die in a black hole.

I was desperate. I can't take this torturing any longer. I know sooner or later I'll die, but it's more painful to wait for my death. I tried to slit my wrist, but then again I would suffer more to die in that kind of manner. So I decided to stab my heart. I held the knife with both of my hands then placed the tip of the blade to face me. I closed my eyes then drew a great sigh. I slowly moved my arms in front of me, to deliver more force. After counting to three I quickly opened my eyes then used all the force I have to stab my chest. But I didn't make it in time. Before I could hit the knife against my chest, the door flew open which revealed a familiar face.

"AMU!!!" He said, as he quickly dashed towards me. It was Nagihiko.

"Amu, what're you doing?! Have you lost your mind?!" He said, taking the knife away from my clutches. I didn't say a word. He was different. He looked different. But then again, different would be better, I suppose. His hair was now short. (a/n: like Kuran Kaname's, you know, in vampire knight.) But it suits him better.

"Look at you," Nagihiko said with frustration written all over his face. "You're not the Amu I've known and admired!" Still I can't muster a single word. All I could do now was to stare.

"You never answered any of our calls and you haven't attended school in almost 9 weeks!" He placed his hands on top of my shoulders. "We are so worried about you!" Those were the words I've been dieing to hear. They are worried, I thought.

"I missed you." He said, then hugged me tightly. Those words he said echoed inside my head. His loving arms wrapped around me were the comfort I needed. The black hole inside me was diminishing quite a bit. The presence he gave was all I needed. I thought that I could go through this all along but I was completely wrong. I never knew I needed someone to make all my worries disappear. And I never knew that that someone might be him. He saved me.


Weeks have gone by since he started visiting here. Everyday I was a little bit alive with him by my side. He told me about what happened every single day, how Yaya would always trip or how she tells cheesy jokes, how Kuukai would always smack her, how Tadase would always make Kairi do everything he wants, how Rima would always dump a guy in less than a minute and how Ikuto would always remain absent.

He told me about Ikuto's plan and how it became a complete failure. He said that if I haven't showed up things would be according to his plan. Natsume's visit was also a part of it. He said that Natsume's step-father was the one to invite Ikuto to marry his daughter. At that time, Ikuto said he'll consider it because he thought that I was still madly in love with Tadase. When he and I started dating, things were a bit out of hand for him. Nagihiko told me that he sent a person to go visit them in US just to cancel the arranged marriage. Knowing Natsume's step-father, he would refuse Ikuto's refusal to the marriage. He sent his brother, that Smith guy and Hoshina Utau to Japan for their meeting with Ikuto. That was the time when he was absent and the 'incident' began. When Ikuto knew what happened to me, he went to the US.

"I'm still not sure why he left though." Nagihiko said. Knowing all this information didn't quite mattered a lot. What's done is done.

"Anyway, I'll be going for now. It's quite late and I still have school tomorrow." He sat up then smiled at me. When I knew he was about to leave I quickly took his hand then held it tightly.

"Amu," He said, staring at me with his loving eyes.

"Stay." I whispered, loud enough for him to hear. It was the first time I spoke in 12 weeks. I saw his eyes widen and his lips curved that formed a gentle smile. He sat down beside me, brushing away the hair that was in front of my eyes, then tucked them behind my ear. He leaned towards me then whispered softly near my ear, "Come with me to school tomorrow." I was shocked to hear it. But then I smiled.

"I'll do that." I said. He smiled again, placing his lips on my forehead. Then he went off.

- Next Day –

I woke up early in the morning. I took a bath then slipped on my uniform. I fixed myself up then stepped outside my room for the very first time once again. I quickly jogged down the stairs then found my family sitting together in the dinning room. The faces that I saw were astonished and were smiling whole-heartedly. My dad approached me then hugged me tightly with a tear jerking down his cheek. My mom was also tearing up with a smile plastered on her face. I saw my butler and maids staring at us with smiles on their faces.

"Onee-chan!! Onee-chan!!" Ami shouted. She hugged me tightly then I hugged back. The sight of them made the black hole even smaller than before.

"You look better, Amu." Mom said. I smiled at her comment then excused myself. The new driver, who I named James, drove swiftly to school. The car then stopped at the front gates then I opened the door of the car. I stepped outside then looked at everyone with a tiny smile on my face. They were all shocked to see me. Everyone there greeted me respectfully then watched me walk towards the building. I saw familiar faces there.

"AMU-CHIIII!!!!"

"Amu!"

"Amu!!"

"Hinamori-san!!"

"Hinamori-san!!"

Were the things they said. Yaya, Rima, Kuukai, Kairi, and Tadase all greeted me. But the only person whom I expect the most isn't with them. I approached them with a smile on my face. They all jogged towards me then gave me tight hug.

"Where's Nagihiko?" I asked as they gave me an evil smile. I was confused with their response. After some seconds, I felt a hand covering my eyes. I tried removing it but it won't budge. Then I let go.

"Missed me?" Nagihiko said as he let his hand go. I saw him with a rose on his other hand. He gave me the rose then smiled sweetly. I took the rose then smiled as well.

Classes started after we had our little reunion. It was great that even though I was absent for like 2 months and a half, I can still relate with the lessons. Everything was going well and time passed by a little too fast. After classes, I went outside my classroom to find them waiting for me. While they were busy laughing, I placed my books and other stuff inside my locker. I was surprised that spiders weren't living inside. While I stuck every single one inside, they grew quiet. But I was stupid enough not to mind them. After I was done, I looked at them with confused looking eyes. Then Yaya pointed near the main door. I looked at where she was pointing then it hit me.

A person who has midnight blue eyes and hair was now walking towards us. The people around us were silent. They stared at him. I blinked a couple of times but the image of him wasn't disappearing. The black hole inside me was growing once again. I grabbed Nagihiko's hand for support, but his touch wasn't enough to make the pain disappear for good. I held his hand tightly, then he placed his other hand around my waist, supporting me.

Ikuto was walking towards us a bit faster this time. His eyes were affixed with mine. The fact that I can't look away was completely excruciating. He was now standing in front of me, with eyes I can no longer read. I can't move. I'm trapped. My hands grew numb, then suddenly I freed my hand from Nagihiko's. I wanted to hold it once again but I can't move it. This is unbearable.

"Amu," he said. His beautiful features were dazzling. Those were the eyes I've longed for. But those were the eyes that were killing me as well. He stood there, in front of me, with his eyes still affixed with mine. I wanted so badly to get away from this place, but my feet were cemented on the floor. I wanted to hide with Nagihiko and never be found. I want him to shield me from this beautiful monster.

"Never regret the things that once made you smile." Nagihiko whispered. I turned to my left to see him with his melancholy face. He still looked stunning as always. I turned my face back to Ikuto, who was kneeling right before me. My eyes widen in shock, so was the people around us. He grabbed a small box from his pocket then placed it firmly on the tip of his fingers. He opened it to reveal a white-gold diamond ring. I couldn't muster anything out of my mouth. The black hole inside me disappeared in an instant. I felt tears cascading down my cheek when I heard those words escape his wondrous lips.

"Marry me."


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