A Woodland Walk
'Look at me dammit!' Bishop's amber eyes bored into Kaede's back, he knew she sensed it and yet still she ignored him. Casavir had scowled at Bishop every minute since they had left Neverwinter and Elanee would not stop studying him with her sad, soulful eyes. From Grobnar, Neeskha and Shandra he sensed the fearful, nervous glances; they feared that his black mood would lead to another wolf attack. Even worse was the knowing smirk plastered on Khelgar's scruffy face, accompanied by the occasional wink. Then there was Sand. Sand who had eyes only for Kaede, fretting over her injury, scolding her for putting herself in danger.
All of these he endured; Sand, the scowl and the smirk he could ignore, they mattered not to him. But what he couldn't abide, what set his teeth to grinding, was that Kaede refused to acknowledge him. Not a word spoken nor a glance given. Not since that first look when she had returned to the Flagon, fresh from meeting Torio and Nasher. Her skin still pallid despite being seen by Nasher's own personal healer, her legs still wobbly. Surrounded by her companions, all of them clamouring to ask what had happened, was she alright, was she safe from Luskan? Amongst the furore their eyes had met and everything else faded out of existence. The din could not compete with the pounding of Bishop's heart, the blood roaring in his ears.
'What did I see?' The question that had gnawed at Bishop's insides from the moment her gaze had slid away from him. Days of wondering, of confusion as they had marched from Neverwinter toward Port Llast, seeking the answer to the destruction of Ember. All this time Bishop strived to seek his own private answer to the mystery that was Kaede. 'Look at me again. I don't understand.' He had braced himself, prepared for her anger or resentment. She knew it was his arrow that had saved her and Bishop had expected to be confronted by her. He wasn't foolish enough to expect expressions of gratitude, not even a word of thanks. He had thought she would shrug off his help, maybe even hurl a few acerbic remarks at him, perhaps a playful insult. But none of these things greeted him and in her eyes there was no resentment, no vicious sparkle. Bishop didn't know what he had seen in her expression but no-one had ever looked at him like that before. Now she was avoiding him altogether.
Bishop could appreciate her sombre mood, it wasn't every day that you faced death. Kaede had narrowly escaped it twice in one evening and she had withdrawn inside herself. So while she was now speaking but rarely to her other companions, only Bishop was being exclusively ignored and avoided. This fact had not gone unnoticed by the others which explained the growing tension and fear exhibited by certain parties. They all knew that when Bishop felt slighted by Kaede it inevitably led to cruel and violent outbursts from the Ranger.
No-one had seen hide nor hair of Dax in days, leaving Grobnar in a near permanent state of hysteria. Obtuse as the gnome could be, even he knew he was Bishop's favoured choice after Dax to suffer the Ranger's ire. Hence Grobnar clung to either Elanee or Casavir nearly twenty-four hours a day, instinctively knowing that even Bishop wouldn't dare harm him in front of them. Whether it was because Bishop feared the Druid and the Paladin, or because they were the only two with the patience to humour Grobnar, none of the companions could be sure.
Bishop shifted against the trunk, trying to find a more comfortable spot to recline against. As usual he was sitting in the shadows just beyond the light of their camp. Years of sleeping outdoors without a fire had conditioned him against the cold and with Karnwyr splayed across his legs Bishop was warm enough. Khelgar approached, bringing two bowls of stew with him. It was a bit of a ritual, as Bishop did not want to approach the others anymore than they wanted him near. Yet they couldn't deny him food, he was the one that provided them with fresh meat after all. So it was that Khelgar was sent with Bishop's portion, being as the dwarf was the only one willing to keep Bishop company. It was an arrangement that suited everyone in the end.
"Here lad." Khelgar handed Bishop his dinner and settled near the Ranger. Bishop nodded slightly in thanks as he took the proffered bowl. Once again Bishop felt several pairs of eyes on them, no doubt wondering how Khelgar could even bear to be near him. "Eh, don't mind them." Khelgar muttered as if he could read Bishop's mind. "Less we gotta share of my private stock." Khelgar winked at him and produced the bottle of ale that Khelgar kept hidden in his belt pouch. Bishop smirked and dug into his stew as Karnwyr lifted his head and sniffed at Khelgar's bowl. Khelgar pulled his meal out of Karnwyr's reach and the wolf studied the dwarf.
"Yeh've had yours yeh bloody greedy animal." Khelgar growled and Karnwyr settled back against Bishop's legs, deciding that stew wasn't worth fighting over; especially since he'd already had a whole rabbit to himself.
"Here, Kaede." Shandra had brought Kaede's own dinner to her and the wizard turned from her muted conversation with Elanee. Bishop scoffed, he didn't know why they bothered to whisper when they were speaking Elvish anyway. Unless it was something they didn't even care for Sand or Khelgar to overhear. The thought made him even more curious to know what was being said.
"Wait!" Sand cried out and hurried to Kaede's side, producing one of his noxious potions. "You need to drink this before you eat, you know that." Sand scolded Kaede as he pulled the stopper out. Kaede wrinkled her nose in disgust, reluctant to take the potion from Sand. "It'll help you regain your strength. You do want to get better, don't you?" Kaede winced in reply and grasped the small bottle of murky liquid. Sand crossed his arms and peered imperiously down at her; he wasn't going to leave until he saw her drink the whole thing.
Kaede sighed and studied the potion, for a brief moment she looked as though she would have preferred death to drinking Sand's restoratives. She threw her head back and tipped the entire contents out, her cheeks swelling as she held the liquid in her mouth. Kaede took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut as she willed herself to swallow the potion. She gulped it down and remained frozen with her eyes closed and lips pursed as a small whimper emerged from her throat. Sand nodded in satisfaction and walked away as Kaede opened her eyes.
"So uh… what's going on then?" Khelgar's eyes shifted from Kaede to Bishop and back. Bishop returned his attention to his stew and shrugged.
"Your guess is as good as mine." Bishop mashed a piece of carrot with his spoon, pushing the remainder of his food around the bowl. Suddenly he had lost his appetite. "Has El… did the druid say anything to you?"
"Anything specific?" Khelgar seemed surprised by Bishop's question and scratched his head in thought. Bishop didn't want to confess what had happened after Khelgar left the glade, but he guessed that Elanee mustn't have told anyone what transpired.
'Has she told Kaede? Is that what they are whispering about?' Bishop tried to shake off his paranoia, but he couldn't escape it.
"She told me that, though Kaede might not own it, the lass is doubtin' her own strength. Not the best thing right now, bein' that she's gotta stand up in trial against that Luskan harpy." Khelgar was studying Bishop closely. He didn't know why but something about Khelgar's expression made him uncomfortable. "I'm not really buyin' that though. M'girl yonder has faced death a'fore." Khelgar jerked his chin at Kaede. "I think it'd take more'n losin' ta some ruffians ta shake her confidence like this. Seems ta me there must be somethin' else buzzin' round in that restless brain a hers. Sure enough she's unsettled, even the gnome has sense enough ta see it. Which is why he ain't runnin' to her for protection every time yeh clap eyes on him." Khelgar grinned at this last admission, he had little love for Grobnar.
"So… you're saying you think Elanee is lying?" Bishop was sceptical, straight-laced Elanee couldn't lie about anything.
"I'm sayin' it's clear Kaede is ruffled. What'd also be clear ta a blind man is that she's been avoidin' you like the plague. Which on the road, in a party small as this, is nigh on impossible. So… with my not so great powers of deduction I've concluded that her state of mind is all your fault." Beneath Khelgar's accusation was a ripple of anger. Bishop knew that Khelgar was protective of Kaede, he still couldn't fathom why exactly, but even crazier was that he was being blamed for Kaede's shaken confidence.
"How? As you well know, she hasn't spoken to me since… since we rescued the farm girl!" Bishop growled as he realised just how long it had been.
"Yeh bleedin' idiot, yeh don't hafta say a word ta upset a woman!" Khelgar's angry voice had drawn the attention of the group. Bishop punched the dwarf in the shoulder in warning and Khelgar glanced around at his companions. It was unclear how much they had heard and Khelgar grumbled. "I told yeh not ta interfere. I warned yeh." Khelgar shook his head, too worked up to say more.
"You…? She would have died!" Bishop hissed, flashing his teeth. "What did you want me to do?" Khelgar didn't have an answer for him and Bishop struggled to his feet, having to free himself of Karnwyr. He strode away from the camp, vaguely aware that Karnwyr loped behind him.
'Crazy, irrational ingrates.' He fumed silently. Khelgar was talking absolute nonsense, how could he still be telling Bishop that he had done the wrong thing, when the alternative would have meant Kaede's death. He plunged deeper in the woods, it didn't matter how far he strayed for no-one was going to call him back, they wouldn't care if he never returned at all. Bishop reached a small stream, the gentle gurgling of the water immediately soothing his nerves. He settled on the bank and Karnwyr nudged his head onto Bishop's lap. The wolf looked up at Bishop, his eyebrows twitching with concern. Bishop scratched Karnwyr's ears in reassurance and the wolf closed his eyes, settling back into a light sleep.
Bishop laid back against the grass, cupping his hands behind his head. He gazed up at the stars and emptied his mind of all thoughts, letting the sound of the brook fill his ears. His eyelids began to creep shut and he snapped them open, blinking in an effort to shake off the pull of sleep. Turning his gaze from the sky he settled on the silhouette of the tree tops, swaying slowly on the horizon. A second time his eyelids slid closed and he fell asleep beneath the open sky.
Bishop jerked awake, the motion momentarily rousing Karnwyr from his own slumber. The wolf lazily peered around and seeing no immediate danger yawned and stretched. Bishop rubbed at his eyes, he thought he had dozed off for only a few minutes, but a quick glance at the stars told him he had been asleep a couple of hours. He pondered returning to the camp, it'd be simple enough to sneak back while they were all asleep, except for whoever had drawn the first watch. He imagined being confronted by Casavir and Bishop decided he didn't feel like returning just yet. Karnwyr's ears perked up and the wolf peered into the woods, trying to catch sight of something as yet unheard by Bishop.
"What is it boy?" Bishop rolled to his feet as Karnwyr sniffed the air. The wolf settled on his haunches, indicating that the scent Karnwyr had caught was familiar to him and not considered a threat. Bishop scurried for the tree line, wanting to see who it was before revealing himself. Karnwyr brushed against his leg as the wolf settled beside him. Soon he could hear someone slowly stepping through the forest, heading toward the clearing.
'Did they follow me?' Bishop wondered, the only person he knew that could possibly track him was Elanee. It certainly wasn't one of his male compatriots and though the light tread favoured the wood elf, Bishop suspected it was not Elanee that was creeping through the forest. Bishop chuckled at his correct assumption as Kaede strolled toward the stream. By far night suited her better than the day, her skin almost aglow, the starlight illuminating the silver highlights in her hair. She settled on the grass, not far from the spot Bishop had so hastily vacated. He circled through the woods trying to gain a better vantage point for her back was facing him. There was no-one as stealthy as Bishop so he had no fear that she would hear him creeping around behind her. He could probably sneak right up to her but he wanted to just watch her for a while. He was nearly at the point where she had exited the woods and he had an excellent view of her profile. Bishop crossed his arms and reclined against a tree, wondering how she had managed to escape her minders back at the camp. Kaede nudged the sandy bank of the stream with her toe, creating little furrows in the damp soil. As always her expression was unreadable and Bishop sighed softly in frustration.
'All my fault? What does Khelgar know that I don't?' Bishop was stumped. Certainly Khelgar had known Kaede longer than he, but Bishop never had the impression that Kaede confided her feelings to Khelgar at all. True that the dwarf seemed to genuinely care for her and looked out for her best interests, but that didn't mean he understood her state of mind. 'What man can understand a woman?' Bishop scoffed, it seemed that all Khelgar knew was second-hand scraps fed from Elanee and Bishop doubted she confided too much to Khelgar. That is if she even knew very much herself.
Kaede pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. The sleeve of her shirt drew back and Bishop could see the stitched gash running down her arm. Healers and magic and potions could do only so much, in the end all wounds needed time to heal completely. Kaede buried her face against her knees and Bishop was surprised to see her shudder.
'Is she crying?' She made no sound so Bishop couldn't be sure, but he couldn't imagine that Kaede would weep. 'Kaede does not cry.' Confident, cold, cruel Kaede did not sob, he was convinced she was devoid of emotions such as remorse or pity. The very idea that she could be so upset seemed wrong to Bishop. He wondered what could make Kaede unhappy. He supposed this upcoming trial was worrying, but he didn't think that would be enough to shake Kaede's steely nerve. He didn't think it was because she was nearly killed, if that sort of thing broke her spirit she never would have made it out of West Harbour alive. 'My fault? Because I saved her life?' Bishop shook his head. 'If that were true then shouldn't she be happy or annoyed, or angry that she owes me even more. Not pathetic and sad.'
Bishop looked down at Karnwyr and the wolf gazed back; his yellow eyes content, his tongue lolling from the side of his mouth, an expression as close to a smile as Karnwyr could make. Bishop felt that familiar warm tug deep inside, that sense of happiness that came only when he was with Karnwyr and it suddenly occurred to him what might be troubling Kaede.
For Bishop, Dax's absence was considered a blessed relief but he supposed that for Kaede what she felt was akin to when he had been separated from Karnwyr. A sense that one was not whole without that loyal companion, the one being in this world they could trust. He couldn't recall that she had mentioned Dax to anyone except Shandra the night of the Vigil. Had she lied about the weasel's condition, was she denying the truth, even to herself?
'Plausible, but it doesn't explain why she's been avoiding me.' All this conjecture was getting him no where, he supposed he could try talking to her. 'But what would I say? Hey, how come you're not talking to me? Yeah that wouldn't sound the least bit whiny and pathetic.' Bishop grimaced, he couldn't figure out a way to get the answers he wanted without sounding like he actually cared. 'I don't care, I just… I want to know what she was thinking when she looked at me.' Kaede raised her face from her knees and Bishop scrutinised her cheeks, checking for any evidence of tears glistening in the moonlight. Her face was dry, her eyes clear of any redness. 'I wonder what could make her cry.' Bishop's mouth twisted into a wicked smirk, he wouldn't mind finding out.
Kaede stood up and stretched and Bishop's eyes unashamedly raked up and down her figure. She turned and looked back in the direction of the camp and Bishop ducked behind the tree. He could never tell just how good her eyes were. She seemed reluctant to return to the others and Bishop decided that she might not mind being delayed. Not that she was going to have a choice in the matter. He waited patiently behind the tree, suspecting she would return the same way she had come. Sure enough her soft footsteps padding over the grass drew nearer and soon she passed right by him. It was too easy to reach out and grab her, his hand clamping over her mouth, pinning one arm against her with his body, his free hand reaching across to capture the opposite arm.
Bishop chuckled as she fought to free herself, she certainly was feisty, trying to rake her boot heel against his shins. Her sharp intake of breath at hearing his laugh told him that she had recognised the sound and she stopped struggling immediately. Kaede tried to turn her head, but he tugged hard against her chin, preventing her from looking at him. Bishop sneered cruelly, he was thrilled at having this power over her, to be the one in control.
"Pretty sloppy, Blue." He whispered, his lips brushing against her ear. "You really are losing your edge." Kaede trembled slightly and Bishop's eyebrows shot up in surprise. He didn't believe she was frightened of him. He turned her face toward him at last and her eyes tightened to slits when they fell upon him. Bishop laughed again, if looks could kill, everything in this forest would be dead. He'd never seen her so angry and it pleased him to no end. He dropped his hand from her mouth and wrapped it around her neck, his thumb pressed beneath her jaw and she winced in pain. Bishop had expected she would speak but it seemed she was waiting to see what he was playing at.
"You've guessed right, I'm not going to kill you. Not just yet anyway." Kaede's expression did not change and still she did not speak. She wasn't giving him anything to work with; no opening to latch on to, no weakness to exploit. He couldn't ask what he wanted to know directly, so he'd begin by eliminating the alternatives.
"The Luskan's have you by the throat." He emphasised these words by literally squeezing his fingers around her neck and she winced again. "What are you going to do about it?"
"What do you care?" Kaede managed to croak and Bishop eased the pressure against her vocal chords.
"I just want to know how you'd really like to handle this, if Sand and Nasher weren't reigning you in."
'What beautiful carnage it would be.' Bishop imagined and a little shiver ran down his spine.
"I don't know." Kaede admitted, though Bishop knew that wasn't true. She always had a solution for everything. Briefly she squirmed, trying to break free and he tightened his grip. Kaede went limp again with a resigned sigh. Khelgar had been right to some extent, she certainly seemed disheartened and was not her usual teasing self. It was like she couldn't even muster the energy to needle him. "What would you do?"
"Since when are you interested in my opinion?" Bishop immediately regretted asking, he sounded more petulant than he had wanted to. Sure enough her eyes trailed up to study his face, she hadn't missed the resentment in his voice and Bishop cursed silently.
"Tell me." Kaede replied earnestly and Bishop felt exposed by her searching gaze. He covered his unease with a cruel sneer.
"If it were me, I'd kill the ambassador. Send a message to those Luskan dogs about who they're dealing with."
"A ship full of dead men at the Docks and three corpses in the Solace Glade." Colour rose in Kaede's cheeks at the mention of the Vigil and she cast her eyes down. "I think they know who they're dealing with." Bishop scoffed and he felt her back stiffen in response to his derision. "Do you really think killing one measly ambassador is going to make them stop?" Kaede added defensively.
"It's the only language they understand."
"You seem to know an awful lot about Luskan." Her accusation was met with stony silence. "How would I handle this?" Kaede continued at length. "I want to see them publicly humiliated in court when I tear their case apart." Her lip curled in displeasure as Bishop laughed scornfully at her plan.
"Swamp girl is going to teach Torio Claven the finer points of political intrigue? This I can't wait to see!" Bishop continued to chuckle as he finally released his grip on her neck, letting his hand slide lower til his fingers brushed her collarbone.
"When have I ever failed to get what I want?" Kaede fumed and Bishop contemplated her question, as far as he knew she hadn't.
"Indeed." He acceded. "And so how did you manage to get away from the others? I thought Sand wasn't letting you wander on your own anymore?"
"Neeshka drew first watch, she's a push over. Besides there's nothing in this forest that I can't handle." Kaede boasted, drawing a smirk from Bishop.
"Is that so?" He purred in her ear as he released her wounded arm, letting his hand settle against the curve of her waist. Kaede made no act of protest as he pulled her tight against him and emboldened he lowered his face to nuzzle against her neck. "You know I half expected your rodent to have zapped me by now." Bishop muttered, his lips caressing her tender skin. He felt the vibration of her laugh well before a chuckle of amusement escaped Kaede's lips. Bishop realised that Dax's absence had not been troubling her after all.
"Don't fret Bishop, he'll be back soon enough. Dax is just resting. That last fight was…" Kaede's voice trailed off and she swallowed nervously. It seemed that she did not want to talk about the Vigil as she hastily changed the subject. "No, I can't wait to have my revenge against Luskan. They will learn not to underestimate me."
"You could just run from this." Bishop suggested and Kaede tilted her head back to stare at him in disbelief. "You and I could go find some hidden trail somewhere and camp for a year or two." Kaede's brow furrowed, her lips pursed in displeasure.
"I'm not interested in your snide comments Bishop, this is a serious matter." She snapped impatiently.
"What if I was being serious?" He lowered his face toward her, his voice dropping to a seductive whisper. "What would you say?" Bishop could see the confusion ripple across her features and he awaited the inevitable stinging refusal.
"I'd say yes." Kaede replied softly, their lips inching even closer together. Bishop's breath caught in his throat as he contemplated her response.
'She can't be serious, she wouldn't just admit something like that, she must be toying with me.' He could feel his heart thundering in his chest and he cleared his throat, grasping for a suitable reply.
"Now, now, that wouldn't make the paladin very happy to hear that." Bishop tried to break the mood, tried to distance himself emotionally. Speaking was a struggle as he could feel her sweet breath against his lips, was all too aware of her soft, warm body pressing of it's own volition back against him. "And… we don't want to make him mad now… do we?" His tongue was so dry, all he wanted was to drink her in.
'Yes.' Bishop admitted to himself. 'I do want this, but on my own terms.' He had to be the one in control, not just another feeble pawn dancing on Kaede's strings. Bishop had to know what she was really thinking, what she truly felt.
"His faith can keep him warm." Kaede's eyes twinkled invitingly as they locked onto Bishop's mouth. "Or cold as the case may be." Still he held himself back, afraid to plunge in the deep end.
"Ha! You warm my heart, you really do. I love that in my women, mean and sharp-tongued." Kaede jerked her head away at his words and Bishop felt a twinge of pain deep inside.
'Just another game after all then.' He thought bitterly, but at least he knew how to play this one. 'Idiot, as if she would ever feel anything for you.'
"Ah well, poor paladin." Bishop continued, trying to shrug off the disappointment he felt. "You win some, you lose some."
"I see, is that how it is?" Bishop shivered at the coldness of her tone. He didn't understand the meaning behind her words but he guessed she was annoyed that he hadn't fallen into her trap. "I think I'll return to camp now if you don't mind." Kaede pulled away from him and Bishop struggled to keep hold of her.
"Settle down Blue, we were just getting to know each other." This was more his arena; snide remarks and power games. Sand and Casavir could keep their pretty words and whispered promises, like a hangman's noose around their necks.
"I know as much as I care to. Let me go!" Kaede's nails raked at his face and he barely dodged as she broke free, turning to make her escape. Bishop's pulse raced anew, this was more like the sassy Kaede he knew. He caught her arm and spun her around to face him, their bodies crashing together.
"You can stop playing hard to get. We both know you want to see what a real man can offer." He leered at her and was caught unawares when she struck him across one cheek.
"Don't presume to know me." Kaede hissed cattily and Bishop shook her roughly to silence her.
"What I know is that next time I'll strike you back." Bishop's amber eyes simmered with barely contained violence. "Harder."
"Just you dare." She snarled and Bishop's hair stood on end as she began to gather eldritch energy into her body. Karnwyr growled in warning, the wolf instinctively sensing the danger to Bishop even though there was no visible threat. Bishop knew it normally took a great deal of willpower and concentration for Kaede to safely release the magic that was welling inside her. He thought he could probably kill her before she managed to cast a spell but the frenzied gleam in her eyes gave him pause. How could he be sure that she wouldn't just kill them both with a burst of raw, uncontrolled power?
"Fine." Bishop relinquished his hold on her, not wanting to risk a grisly death by magic mishap."Just don't come crawling back to me when the Paladin can't rise to the task." He jeered and she shook her head in contempt. Kaede's hands balled in frustration as she fought the urge to attack him. She emitted an exasperated groan and stormed off toward the camp. Bishop watched her fade into the darkness and turned to Karnwyr, who was still emitting a throaty growl, his hackles raised. Bishop smoothed the ruffled fur as he posed a question to his hairy companion.
"Women, huh?"
