Chapter 9 – Treaty
"We need to contact Ephraim Black's heir before we can return to Forks."
I stared up at Carlisle. That was not the response I had expected to my announcement that I wanted to return to Washington with he and Esme and the others. "What does Jacob have to do with anything?" I blurted out.
"You know him?" Jasper asked, looking up from his book. He and Alice were curled into one corner of a sofa, while Carlisle and I stood near the fireplace; the cavernous living room was empty besides us.
"Sure," I shrugged. "Our dads have been friends since before we were born, and Jacob and I have been hanging out a bit the last few months." I tried to make it sound nonchalant, but I caught the scowl that flickered across Jasper's face.
"I hadn't realized you were so close with the Black family," Carlisle said, his tone thoughtful. "But I meant Billy Black, actually."
I opened my mouth to ask the obvious question, but Alice spoke before I could.
"Carlisle," she said, setting down her sketch book, "you've decided to meet with the werewolves?"
"I have," he replied, turning towards her. "I'm concerned about the state of our treaty with them, given what happened to Bella. If we ever want to return to Forks, now or in the future, we need to make sure the treaty still holds. And Bella," he said, looking at me again, "I believe we will have the best chance of securing the peace if you go with me."
"If you think it will help," I replied. Meeting the werewolves who had killed Laurent and chased me out of Washington was not high on my priority list, but if it would allow the Cullens to return to their home, of course I would go.
"Alice," Jasper said, drawing me out of my thoughts. "What is it?"
"I can't see them," she murmured, then looked up at Carlisle and I, her eyes clearing but her face worried. "I can see you getting to Forks, but I can't see the meeting. You both just disappear."
"An ambush?" Jasper asked, looking from Alice to Carlisle.
Alice shook her head and put a reassuring hand on his arm. "I would see an ambush, or any other catastrophe. But this is just nothing."
"Could it be me?" I asked, remembering Jasper's words from a few hours earlier – It's like you disappear. You're there one moment, and then there's a blank place where you should be the next. "Could I be blocking your sight with my shield somehow?"
"I don't think so," she said slowly. "My gift is completely physical, I don't think a shield could block it. And even if you could, why would you start blocking me only once you got to Forks? You would have to decide now to block me then, I think…" She trailed off, her expression worried again.
"But didn't this happen once before? When I first got here you said that you should have seen what happened with Laurent, even though you were trying not to watch me."
Alice's eyebrows knit together, but she nodded.
"If we assume it isn't Bella's shield," Carlisle said, moving closer to Jasper and Alice as he spoke, his hands deep in his pockets, "then perhaps the common factor is the presence of the werewolves? Could they be doing something to block your sight, Alice?"
She and Jasper exchanged an uncertain look, so quickly I almost missed it. "I've never interacted with them, so I can't be sure. When you were in Forks in the thirties, did they seem resistant to… other gifts?"
"No," Carlisle replied, his face thoughtful. "But they are quite unique, from everything I know about them. Not at all like the werewolves of Europe. I would love the chance to study their genetics in depth. Perhaps if we can re-secure the treaty, and with Bella's friendship with the Blacks…"
"So why is Billy so important?" I asked, stepping closer to Alice and Jasper as well.
"Oh, of course," Carlisle said, turning back to me. "Our treaty was originally with Ephraim Black, Billy's grandfather, as leader of the werewolf pack and chief of the Quileute tribe. The genetic mutation that allows them to shape shift into giant wolves appears to have skipped several generations, but if the pack has formed once again, Ephraim's heir is at the center of it, I'm sure.
"That you know him is a bit of a Godsend, Bella, I must admit," he continued. "Without that in our favor, I'm not sure what the state of the treaty would be."
"I still don't like you two going in there blind," Alice said, her gaze fixed on some point in the middle distance. "Maybe I should go with you—" She broke off suddenly, blinking. "Now everything disappears. We get to Forks, and then nothing."
"How can we be sure this isn't an ambush?" Jasper asked again, an edge in his voice.
Alice shook her head. "I can see some things beyond it, just nothing in the immediate future. I can see what I'm going to give you for our anniversary, and that you'll love it." She smiled and winked at him, trying to ease the tension, but Jasper's mouth set into a hard line. "I think the theory that it's the wolves is an interesting one, but we won't know until we test it," she added. "Which means I'm going with you to Forks."
Jasper looked like he was about to protest, but instead he stood. "I'll start packing," he sighed, and started towards the stairs.
–o–
While the others packed, I decided to investigate the room Tanya had set aside for me. It was a mirror image of Alice and Jasper's room, decorated in sage green. I bypassed the bed, prying my mind away from the suggestions that Tanya had made, and went straight for the enormous bathroom. It was pristinely clean, like everything else in the house, and there was a gift basket of bath products set prominently in the middle of the granite counter top.
Remembering what Alice had said about the smell of shampoo, I picked up a bottle of bubble bath and took a careful sniff. It smelled like jasmine and lavender, with a slight undertone of olive oil; the label proclaimed it all natural and organic. With a smile I started the bathtub, finding the hottest temperature I could stand, then added the bubble bath to it.
It turned out the psychic was right – I was going to take a nice, long bath after all.
–o–
I was still soaking in the tub forty-five minutes later when Alice found me. I had had to add more hot water to the bath a couple of times, as the water kept cooling quickly, from the cold Alaskan air or my own body temperature I wasn't sure. I was enjoying the smell of the steam and the slippery feeling of the bubbles against my skin when a light knock at the door announced her presence. Alice entered half a second later, towing a small roll-along suitcase behind her.
"I see you found the bubble bath," she said, smiling at me. "Tanya always buys the good stuff that actually smells nice." She left the suitcase by the door and crossed the bathroom in her lithe dancer's steps; I wondered if I looked anywhere near as graceful now. Perching on the side of the tub, she turned on the hot water for a few seconds, as though she knew without asking that the water was just starting to get a bit too cool again – which of course she had known.
"I packed a bag for you," she said as she turned the water off, "with all the unhemmed pants I have with me and some shirts you should like." I knew that in Alice-speak this meant 'shirts you would like if you had any fashion sense,' and not 'shirts I think you will like.' "I even managed to find a tupperware for your rock, so that's in there too," she added.
"Thank you," I said quietly.
She smiled and shrugged, and then her face turned serious. "Bella," she said slowly, "I am so glad you decided to come back to Washington with us. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. But have you given any thought—"
"Honestly, I just want to get back to Forks," I sighed, cutting her off before she could bring up something I would rather not talk about. "I'll figure out the rest of it later."
She nodded, looking sad. "I should get back to packing," she sighed. "Carlisle is going to call Billy Black in a few minutes, and then hopefully we'll know when we're leaving – I can't see that either. I couldn't talk Jasper out of coming along, so it will be the four of us in Carlisle's car. Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie are going to follow with the rest of the cars and meet us back at the house. Carlisle is pretty certain we'll be able to reestablish the treaty. I just wish I could help."
She sighed again and stood, starting towards the door. "Enjoy the rest of your bath," she said, some of her normal chipperness working its way back into her voice. "I would warn you not to stay in too long and get all pruney, but that's just one more thing you don't have to worry about any more." She winked at me and then slipped out the door, leaving me alone with the bubbles and steam.
–o–
I stayed in the bath until the water cooled again, then toweled and dressed. A peek inside the suitcase Alice had left confirmed my fears about the fashion-forward tops she had packed for me, but to my relief she had also washed and packed the flannel shirt she had loaned me for my hunting trip with Emmett and Rosalie. I slipped it on and went downstairs, anxious to find out how Carlisle's call with Billy had gone.
I found the rest of the house in a state of quiet activity as the six Cullens buzzed from room to room, upstairs to downstairs to outside and back, packing suitcases and boxes into three cars with the ease that comes from moving often.
"Billy agreed to meet with you and I tomorrow," Carlisle explained as I helped him carry boxes of medical texts down to Esme's car. I was still surprised to find that the weight and even the awkwardness of carrying multiple boxes full of books didn't hamper me in the slightest; I was only limited by my ability to see over more than two boxes stacked on top of each other.
"He said the pack structure has changed, and he'll be bringing two other wolves with him, but wouldn't be more specific. I think the distrust of us has only grown over the generations," he added as we packed the boxes into the car.
My mind wrestled with the image of Billy as a werewolf – as one of the wolves who had chased me into Canada, even. I couldn't make sense of it. "Why just you and I?" I asked. "What about Jasper and Alice?"
"They'll be nearby," Carlisle assured me. "I believe the pack truly wants to reestablish the treaty with us, but the last thing we want to do is overpower them with a show of force."
Not for the first time, I wondered about Jacob's place in all this. The one time we had spoken of it, nearly a year ago, he hadn't believed the story was anything more than a myth. And yet his father seemed to be at the center of something I knew first hand to be very real. Where did my friend fit? And would he still be my friend after this?
Forks was once again where my future led, and I was suddenly very anxious to get on the road to that future.
–o–
"You know," I sighed, looking out the window, "I think humans have bladders specifically so that car rides wouldn't be so boring."
We had been driving for nearly seven hours straight, with only the quickest gas stop in the history of the world to break up the monotony of the Alaskan landscape. Even at vampire speeds, it was still going to take us nearly a full day to drive from Denali to Forks. And without bathroom breaks, naps, or road trip food, the boredom was quickly becoming stifling.
"No," Alice replied, drawing the syllable out. We were sitting in the back seat of Carlisle's sedan, as Carlisle drove and Jasper rode shotgun; she didn't look up from her reading material when she spoke. "That's why humans have fashion magazines. Here." She reached into what appeared to be a bottomless tote bag at her feet and tossed a thick, glossy magazine at me. "It's time for you to take a healthy interest in fashion. Put that big vampire brain of yours to use, you might learn something."
I couldn't honestly say what made me look through the offending pile of overdone photographs of too-thin models: boredom or insanity, it was a tossup. I flipped through the entire thing page by page, practicing my ability to handle objects with care. Out of five hundred and eighty four pages, I only ripped nine.
"Bella," Alice said, her tone threatening, as I closed the back cover with a satisfying thump. "Not even I can read through Vogue that quickly. Go back and start over, and really look at it this time."
Sighing, I flipped back to the front, turning the pages slowly and letting the images actually register. I was on page thirty-three when I finally realized what was bothering me about the magazine, besides the obsession with clothing and the unrealistic standards of beauty. "It's all in French," I blurted out.
"They call it French Vogue for a reason," Alice replied dryly.
"And the models are all wearing summer clothes," I complained.
"It's the summer season fashion preview. Says so right on the cover."
"In French!"
She studiously ignored me.
I carefully examined another fifty-eight pages, trying to use what I remembered of my high school Spanish to piece together the French verbs. Either I wasn't translating very well, or the topics were actually that inane.
"If I thought it would increase your interest in fashion, I would teach you French myself," Alice said into the silence of the car several minutes later.
I snorted and turned the page, enjoying the sound of the fibers of the glossy paper pulling apart as I moved it a bit too roughly, followed by the delicate grinding of Alice clenching her teeth.
"That might not be a bad idea, actually," Jasper said from the front seat.
Alice glanced up at him, breaking eye contact with her magazine for the first time in over an hour.
"We're still planning on college this fall, correct?" he continued, turning in his seat to face us.
"We have to—" Alice started to say, but broke off suddenly. "Yes, I think we can safely plan on college this fall," she sighed.
"Then Bella needs to get her GED, so she can go with us," Jasper shrugged, as though it were completely obvious.
"Can't we just, I don't know, forge papers for me or something?" I asked, wrinkling up my nose. High school graduation was the last thing on my mind.
"There will be plenty of time for forged papers later, believe me," Alice said, patting my knee gently. "You should go to college under your own name while you still can. Besides, it will make Charlie happy."
She had me there. The idea of me attending college would definitely make Charlie happy, and going would give me another chance to delay the inevitable day when I would have to fake my death for his benefit. I would address the hurdle of how I was going to pay for college later.
I sighed. "So how does it work?" I asked, grudgingly acquiescing. "Do I take the test online or something?"
"You'll have to sit for it in person, but with the control you've already shown, that shouldn't be a problem," Alice said, clearly picking up steam. "We'll get you listed as homeschooling for your last semester of high school. I'll help you study. It'll be so much fun!"
As Alice took out a notebook and started jotting things down, still talking animatedly, I shot Jasper a sour look. He smiled at me, looking rather proud of himself, and turned back towards the front.
"…Now if you insist on sticking with Spanish, Jasper will have to help you study for that," Alice prattled on. "But my offer to teach you French still stands – oh Bella, you would just love France!"
–o–
The rest of the drive passed much faster, as the four of us discussed what I would need to read up on for the GED test and how much I remembered from my high school classes. Even Carlisle chimed in with thoughts on which books from the family's massive collection I should use. It turned out I had forgotten most of what I had learned in History, and every scrap of Calculus had gone straight out of my head with the transformation. Alice promised to help me with both, and assured me that Calculus would seem stupidly easy now.
Somewhere around the fifteen hour mark, I realized the genius behind what Jasper had done. We were having an engaging discussion, making plans for the coming months, and fashion hadn't been mentioned once. The drive was flying by, and I actually felt hopeful about the future for the first time in a long time. I would have to find a way to thank him.
–o–
The sun was beginning its descent behind the thick cloud cover by the time we reached Forks. Carlisle turned right onto a small road when we were still several miles north of town, and we followed it as it wound west through the increasingly dense trees. After several miles, he turned right again, onto a gravel road barely wide enough for the sedan, and then pulled to a stop.
"We're meeting them about a mile up this road," Carlisle explained, as the engine idled almost silently. "Alice, have you been able to see anything?"
"Nothing," she replied with a grimace. "Not about today, anyway – Esme has apparently decided to plant roses behind the house, and they'll be beautiful come June." She made a face, clearly unhappy about the hole in her vision.
"Jasper?" Carlisle asked, turning to the other man.
"There are three of them," he shrugged. "One is uncomfortable, worried, and anxious. The second is feeling stern, a bit angry, and also anxious. The third is all over the place – guilty and angry, mostly, but not in a way that would worry me about an ambush. He's also quite anxious to get this over with."
"Let's not keep them waiting, then," Carlisle said.
Jasper nodded, and as one he and Alice slipped out of the car and melted into the trees nearby, where they would wait and monitor the situation, just in case. I climbed into the front seat that Jasper had vacated, and Carlisle began driving again as soon as my door was closed.
He was quiet for a long moment, as we bounced along the uneven surface of the road. Memories of the last time I had been alone with Carlisle, on the evening of my birthday as he stitched my arm up, came unbidden to my mind, though they were scrambled and indistinct. I pushed them back behind the ever-present wall in my mind and forced myself to focus on the task at hand.
"I'm not sure who Billy has brought with him," he said softly, breaking the silence, "but there's a good chance whoever it is will be fairly new to shifting into the werewolf form. My understanding is that until they gain control, the shift can be made accidentally, if they are provoked to anger."
"So I should watch what I say," I added dryly.
Carlisle smiled slightly and nodded. "If something should go wrong, stay calm. The treaty is what matters here, and if we react well I'm sure Billy will be able to rein in the offending wolf and handle the situation."
"And if it does turn out to be an ambush?" I asked in a small voice.
He sighed and seemed to deflate slightly. "Watch out for their teeth and claws, they can do a great deal of damage to us – it's their only purpose for having them, in fact. Run back down the road towards Jasper, and then do whatever he says to do. Though perhaps we should be asking you what to do, as I think you may be the only vampire to ever escape the pack."
I looked out the window at the darkening fir trees. "We're faster than they are in the water. That's the only thing that saved me, I think."
"Don't worry Bella, everything is going to be fine," he said, touching my shoulder gently.
Turning back to him, I nodded and forced a small smile. My gut told me things would never again be fine, but I also knew this was not the time to dwell on my personal sorrows. If I could keep it together here, the Cullens would be able to return to their home, and that was the priority.
"One last thing," Carlisle said, slowing slightly as we drove over a series of deep potholes. "Just to be safe, it's probably best if you don't breathe while we're near them. Do you know how to hold in a lung-full of air and use that to speak?"
"Yes." The ability to go without breathing was definitely one of the benefits to being undead.
"Good. I'll fill in as you need me to, so only speak when it's absolutely necessary."
He slowed the car and pulled off onto a small patch of grass beside the stump of a tree. With the noise of the car gone, I could suddenly hear three distinct heartbeats, loud and slow and wet. Swallowing back the venom that had begun to pool in my mouth, I took a deep breath from the untainted air of the car, holding it in.
"They're just ahead," Carlisle said as he turned off the engine. "Are you ready?"
I nodded, abruptly nervous. As I climbed out of the car, I tried to convince myself that this was just Billy, a man I had known my entire life, and a few of the guys from La Push, maybe even some of Jacob's friends. But when I tried to remember what Billy and Jacob looked like, the only image my mind could summon was that of the giant wolves who had chased me just a few days earlier.
I swallowed again, this time out of nervousness, and looked back the way we had come, into the trees where I knew Alice and Jasper were hiding. They wouldn't let anything happen to me, and neither would Carlisle. And with a sudden fierceness, I realized I wouldn't let anything happen to them, either.
With this thought firmly in mind, I followed Carlisle down the gravel path, towards the wet beating of three hearts. I fell in beside him, matching his pace though it felt far too slow, steeling myself for what was about to happen.
As we rounded a bend in the road, I caught sight of the Black's beat up old Ford. Billy sat in his wheelchair nearby, looking unsettled on the gravel, and between us and him stood two tall, muscular men, both wearing only shorts despite the frost lingering beneath the trees. After half a second I recognized Sam Uley, his face tugging on the corners of painful memories, long buried. I pushed them back behind the wall in my mind and turned my gaze towards the third man, wondering which one of his gang members Sam had brought with him to the meeting.
With a start I realized that it was Jacob. He looked like he'd grown a foot and a half since I'd last seen him, barely three weeks ago. His face looked thinner, harder, and all his long hair was cut off, nearly shaved right down to his scalp. My eyes pricked in a way that was becoming familiar, and I bit my lip and reminded myself not to breathe. He didn't meet my gaze as we approached.
Had this been why he had been 'sick', why he had been avoiding me? And was this what Sam's gang had really been the whole time, a pack of werewolves? The surrealism of this moment only served to make my human memories seem all the less genuine. Could this really be the boy who had become my lifeline the past few months?
As I stared at him, my chest tightly clenched to remind myself not to breathe, I remembered the man on the beach who smelled like a wolf, as the pack had stopped chasing me. The man with dark eyes and cropped dark hair, wearing nothing but shorts, glowering at me across the miles of open water. Could that have been Jacob? I shivered at the thought.
"Billy, thank you for meeting with us," Carlisle said when we stood in front of them, his hands hanging awkwardly at his sides in the absence of a handshake. "I hope you know how important the treaty is to our family."
Billy made a noncommittal sound, then turned slightly towards Sam and Jacob. "You know Sam Uley, I think. And this is my son Jacob, the newest member of the pack."
Jacob's gaze finally flickered to mine and then quickly away again, too fast for me to read the emotions swirling there.
"Things have changed a bit since my grandfather's day," Billy continued, leaning back in his chair. "Sam is the pack leader now – no wolf form for this old man – so any negotiations will have to go through him. I'm just here to pass the torch, and help out if I can."
Jacob's eyes lifted to mine again, dark and angry and tortured. I knew him well enough to read the intent in that look: Billy and Sam had come for the treaty, but Jacob had come for me. I swallowed hard.
"Of course," Carlisle nodded. "Very nice to meet you both. I think you all know Bella, and from what I understand, you know what happened to her, correct?"
"We saw it happen, yes," Sam said, his deep voice carrying an authority I had never noticed before. Jacob dropped his gaze again, in an almost submissive gesture; it set my teeth on edge.
"That's putting it lightly," I snapped, before I had thought through my words or the use of my limited air. Instantly four pairs of eyes focused on me.
"We tried to stop it," Jacob spat out, but Sam put up a hand to silence him.
"Perhaps we should clarify exactly what did happen," he said, his eyes narrowing as he looked at me.
"We were worried about this sort of thing last year, Bella," Billy said, cutting through the tension and giving me a significant look. "But I thought we were past that."
"We were. Are," I corrected, shaking my head and reminding myself not to breathe. Whatever air I had left would have to be enough to get me through the conversation.
"That isn't what happened," Carlisle explained for me. "Bella did not seek this out, and the Cullen family was not involved in what occurred."
Jacob scowled. "But the one we tracked down and killed, the one that bit you – you knew him, didn't you, Bella?"
I nodded silently, my jaw clenched.
"His name was Laurent," Carlisle said, again filling in for me. "He and his coven came through Forks last spring. It was the other two members of his coven that chased Bella to Phoenix, and attacked her there. That is what really happened, when her father believed she had broken up with my son, and then fallen down a flight of stairs and through a window at our hotel," Carlisle seemed to be explaining this part specifically to Billy. "Laurent did not hunt Bella at the time, however. In fact, he came to our home to warn us about the other two."
"So that leech was a friend of yours?" Jacob snapped, looking at me.
I looked at Carlisle. There was no way I could explain what had taken place with the air I had left in my lungs. He met my gaze and nodded.
"It's unsafe for Bella to breathe while standing so near to you; she's still very new to this, and even standing this close shows far more restraint than is typical in newborns," Carlisle said to Billy, Sam, and Jacob. "She told us her story when she reached us in Denali, and I'll recount it to you best I can, given that Bella has a limited amount of air left with which to speak."
Jacob's eyes flickered from me to Carlisle and back again; he looked suspicious. I nodded at him almost imperceptivity, and the skin around his eyes relaxed slightly.
"Last Saturday, Bella went hiking alone in the woods—" Carlisle began.
"Why?" Jacob demanded, interrupting him.
I gave him a pointed look, hoping he would put the pieces together.
"Oh," he said a moment later, a guilty look flickering across his face, "you were using our map, weren't you?"
I nodded.
The other three men were not unaware of our exchange, but Carlisle continued without comment, relating the story of my last day as a human, complete and accurate except for the glaring omission of my hallucinations – impressive considering that he had heard the story from Jasper, who had in turn been told by Alice. Apparently the game of telephone didn't apply to vampires, I thought wryly.
As Carlisle continued the story, telling of my escape from the pack and my run through Canada, Sam's expression grew thoughtful. I tried to decide if that was a good sign or not.
Everyone was quiet for a moment after Carlisle finished, Jake's eyes once again finding mine, as though to confirm what Carlisle had said. I nodded slightly at him again, wondering if the others had noticed our wordless conversation.
"First of all," Sam started, breaking the silence. I clenched my jaw and resisted the urge to groan. "I want to make it clear that we were well within our rights to kill the one you call Laurent," he continued. "We witnessed him attacking a human on treaty land, which we will never tolerate.
"But," he said, holding up a hand as Carlisle started to interject, "as a nomadic vampire, he was not covered by the terms treaty, despite your acquaintance with him. His actions do not affect the standing of the treaty."
"I'm glad to hear that," Carlisle said, taking and then exhaling a large breath, making me more than a little jealous.
"Bella is another matter entirely," Sam said then, turning to me. "Do you intend on staying in Forks?"
Deciding to save my remaining air for more complicated questions, I merely nodded in response.
"And what about your father?" he asked.
I turned towards Carlisle, who once again answered for me. "Chief Swan believes Bella is with our family in Los Angeles," he said. "We would appreciate it if you did not disillusion him of that."
Sam nodded, his face thoughtful again but his eyebrows drawing together. "This is a situation not covered by the treaty," he said to Carlisle, as though he were the ultimate expert on the treaty – as though it had been him personally who had agreed to it with Carlisle, and not Jacob's great-grandfather. "Is a newborn vampire even capable of adhering to the terms? Can the tribe be expected to accept the increased risk?"
I scowled at Sam, my previous view of him as resident gang leader not improving, but I let Carlisle answer.
"As you can see, Bella has exceptional control for a newborn, and has already interacted with humans without incident," he said, a hint of steel under his smooth tone. "She won't be venturing into town, for Charlie's sake and the sake of those who knew her before. And she will have the support of the rest of the family. We won't let her stray."
"'The rest of the family'?" Sam repeated, his eyebrows raised. Beside him, Jacob's nostrils flared and the muscles in his shoulders tensed.
"Bella is part of the Cullen family," Carlisle said, his voice firm, before I could piece together the reason behind their reactions.
"You're invoking that clause?" Sam asked, stunned, at the same moment Jacob snapped, "She has a family!"
"You would send her home to her father in this condition?" Carlisle asked Jacob, the reproach clear in his tone. Then to Sam, "Yes, we're invoking that clause. She is and always will be part of the Cullen family."
"Her only tie to your 'family' was that bastard Edward who left her alone here – left her alone in the woods for us to find!" Jacob snarled.
It felt like I had been punched in the gut. I had never heard Jacob say his name, or mention that first night – it was an unspoken rule between us. The air I had been holding in whooshed out of my lungs and my knees buckled. I closed my eyes as the ground rushed up to meet me, hoping sincerely that I was fainting.
Too-warm arms caught me before I hit the ground, and then I was being cradled against a bare, scalding chest. I wanted to groan, but I was out of air and wasn't sure how smart it would be to breathe so close to Jacob.
"Bella?" Carlisle's voice, maybe a foot from my ear, using his doctor tone. "Bella, can you hear me?"
"Don't touch her!" Jacob snapped, clutching me closer.
"Jacob, you do not want to do that," Carlisle said, a note of anxiety under his calm. "Bella has shown remarkable restraint, but she's still a newborn."
Jake's hold on me loosened slightly, but he didn't release me. My head slid down to rest against his shoulder.
"Bella?" Carlisle said again, "Nod if you can hear me."
For a moment I considered pretending I had fainted, but realized I wouldn't be able to fool Carlisle – could vampires faint? – so I nodded, my eyes still closed. I felt his fingers on my face then, along the edge of my jaw, smooth and just slightly warm, compared to Jacob's soft, burning skin.
"What's wrong with her?" Jacob whispered. My stomach twisted at his tone.
"She lost a lot of blood when Laurent attacked her," Carlisle replied, his voice soft but still clinical. "It will take her a while to recover from that," he lied smoothly.
I fought the urge to sigh. I was going to have to talk to convince them that I was okay, to get them to stop hovering, but I couldn't take a breath without smelling Jacob, Sam, and Billy. The 'restraint' Carlisle had mentioned had been nothing more than carefully not breathing whenever humans were around. How was I supposed to breathe with them this close?
It occurred to me then that I had smelled Jacob and the rest of the pack before, when they had chased me north. They had smelled like animals, not like people at all. And I had seen Jacob – I was convinced now that it had been him – in his human form just before the pack turned back towards Forks, and he hadn't smelled human then, either. Billy would probably smell human, but maybe if all I could smell was Jacob, I could get a breath in without putting anyone in danger.
Part of my overly-broad mind was distinctly aware of the pulse at Jacob's neck and the wet sound of his heart beating, so I clenched my jaw closed, just in case. I turned my head towards Jacob just slightly, positioning my nose in the hollow beneath his ear, where I had seen him tuck his long hair away so many times. I locked all of my muscles in place, then took a deep breath in through my nose.
The Jacob-smell I remembered was still there, woodsy and musky, with faint scents of motor oil and the soap he used. Over that now was a distinctly animal aroma, more like the bear I had hunted with Emmett than like the human scent I had memorized from my own dried blood. And nearly overpowering both was a smell like wet dog, instantly silencing any appetite the other scents might have provoked.
It took the tiniest fraction of a second for me to move, take that breath, and analyze the smells. And then suddenly I was out of Jacob's arms and Carlisle was clutching me to his chest, to protect me or stop me from moving I couldn't tell. I blinked up at him, trying to piece together the movements that had just taken place, and then looked over at Jacob.
He was several feet away, Sam clutching at his upper arms and trying to position himself between Jacob and Carlisle and I. He cast a quick glance at the right side of Jacob's neck, where my head had just been, and then turned immediately back to us. Billy had turned his wheelchair towards Jacob and Sam, and looked anxious and slightly green.
"Did she…?" Sam growled, not taking his eyes off me. Carlisle's arms tightened around me.
"No, of course not!" Jacob snapped, trying to shrug out of his grasp. "Lay off, Sam."
Carlisle took a step backwards, pulling me along with him. "I'll take Bella back to the car…"
"I'm fine," I said, my voice sounding bewildered even to my own ears. "I just needed a breath, and it seemed safer to smell Jacob than risk catching Billy's scent." I shrugged, trying not to use all my hard-won air.
Carlisle looked at me sharply. "Bella, you could have hurt him."
I shook my head. "Jacob does not smell like food," I replied, using as little air as I could.
Jacob snorted, his face full of dark amusement. Sam and Billy looked repulsed.
"I know he doesn't smell appetizing," Carlisle said, shaking his head, "but our venom is very poisonous to them. The werewolf gene and the vampire mutation cannot exist together, so you must be very careful, do you understand?"
I nodded, my eyes wide.
Jacob had finally shrugged out of Sam's grasp, and they both stood watching us, Sam's expression thoughtful again and Jacob's thick with emotions I could not name.
"I believe you have made your point, Dr. Cullen," Sam said slowly, his eyes on my face. "Bella has shown more restraint than I would have thought possible. If she is willing to agree to the terms of the treaty, the pack is willing to consider her a Cullen—"
Jacob growled, deep in his throat, but Sam waved him off imperiously.
"—for purposes of the treaty," he finished, still watching me.
"I accept the terms," I said softly, constricting my diaphragm as little as possible.
"But we cannot allow any slips, not a single one," Sam added, taking half a step in my direction. "Any attempt to attack a human will be seen as a violation of the treaty."
"It won't be a problem," I snapped at full volume before my mind had decided to say anything. I clenched my jaw shut; I was out of air again. Sam narrowed his eyes but nodded.
"And what about your missing male?" he asked, addressing Carlisle but looking at me. I dropped my eyes, trying to hide my flinch of pain.
"He is still covered by the treaty," Carlisle replied, his voice even.
"Is he coming back?" Sam sounded like he was asking about the weather; my empty chest constricted.
Carlisle's answering smile was tight. "We would like a chance to discuss that as a family. Our movements have never been restricted by the treaty."
"Yes, about that," Sam said, sounding imperious again. "I think it would be best for all of us if we had a bit more communication on that front. You left without telling us, and if not for Bella, you might have returned without telling us as well. With your family gone, we have been patrolling the entire area, and I would hate for there to be a misunderstanding."
I watched as Carlisle's eyes narrowed, but a moment later he nodded. "That sounds reasonable," he said, though his tone was not quite friendly. "I think we all want to avoid any accidents. The rest of our family is on their way back to Forks as we speak. Obviously we may venture into Seattle from time to time, but I will keep you advised of any major moves. In return I would ask that you and your successors keep us up to date on any future changes in pack structure, as much as you are able."
Sam nodded as well, though I could tell his jaw was set.
"Are we agreed?" Carlisle asked, extending his hand.
Sam stared at Carlisle's hand for a long, tense moment, before taking it in his own and shaking it. "Agreed," he said grudgingly.
I wanted to sigh in relief but I had no air left, so I settled for letting my shoulders relax. Glancing away from Carlisle and Sam, I caught Jacob watching at me, a sad, self-mocking look on his face. I smiled slightly and waved at him across the tense few feet separating us, smiling more genuinely when he waved back.
With a whole new pain, it hit me suddenly that I might be saying goodbye to Jacob for the last time. He would still be just down the road in La Push, but the distance between us now seemed insurmountable. The things he had said to me the night we had gone to the movies – three weeks ago today, I realized – seemed like they were from a different lifetime. A lifetime where he had been human, and I had been human, and the most complicated thing in our lives was how he felt about me.
My eyes pricked and burned, and I wished I had the air in my lungs to tell him what he meant to me, or the control to take a breath without murdering his father in front of him. All I needed was a moment alone with him to say goodbye, but Billy had already turned back to his car, and Carlisle had started to edge down the road towards our car.
I sent Jake one last look, trying to communicate everything I couldn't say out loud, and then turned and followed Carlisle down the gravel track.
–o–
The drive back to Forks was a quiet one. Alice and Jasper had decided to run to the house, leaving me alone with Carlisle and my grief. My silent goodbye to Jake had hit me harder than I had expected, and my chest was shattered and tender. Filling it with the clean air of the car did no good, only serving to mock my pain with more pain.
"Did you know that I wrote a book on vampire physiology?" Carlisle asked out of the blue, breaking into my silent wallowing. "There are only two copies," he continued, "one in my study here in Forks and the other in Volterra. Aro used to tease me that I had literally written the only book on the topic," he laughed self-consciously. "But when it comes right down to it, I probably know more about the workings of our kind than anyone else. And Bella," he paused until I looked up and met his intense gaze. "I've never before seen a vampire collapse like you did."
I wondered if my laugh sounded as forced to him as it did to me. "Just my luck," I fake-chuckled, "my clumsiness followed me into this life."
Carlisle wasn't convinced for a moment. "It's happened before, hasn't it?" he asked gently.
I sighed and looked away. "Yeah, a couple of times now."
"What causes it, do you think?" he asked, equal parts professional curiosity and worried parent.
What causes it? This gaping wound in my chest causes it! Any mention of his name, any reminder of what I lost, of what this life should have been.
I didn't say this out loud, unsure of how to put it into words and unwilling to let anyone into this darkest corner of my existence. My shoulders hunched forward and I hugged myself around the middle with one arm, laying the other hand on my ribs, over my silent heart. How could I explain it? The transformation hadn't healed me as it had healed the others. I had come through broken.
"Are you in pain?" Carlisle asked sharply, and distantly I realized that he had pulled the car to the side of the highway.
I nodded weakly as the hole yawned wider.
"Where?" he asked, engaging the parking brake and turning towards me.
I pressed my hand flat against my sternum, the stone surface unyielding under the pressure. "Here," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. In an odd way, it felt good to admit to the pain.
"Could the wolves have—?" he started to ask, but I shook my head.
"It wasn't the wolves. It always hurts." And always will, I added silently. Gathering my strength, I forced myself out of the hole I had dug and looked up at Carlisle; his golden eyes were bright with concern and sympathy. "It isn't physical," I added, looking away again.
He was still for a moment, and then reached out and squeezed my arm reassuringly. "I take back what I said," he whispered gently. "I have seen a case like yours before: Marcus, one of the Volturi elders. Though I hold out hope that you will find a happier resolution than he did."
I nodded, even though I didn't know the story he was referring to. Marcus was one of the tiny figures in the painting in Carlisle's study, but beyond that I couldn't seem to remember. Had he hurt like this, once? I wasn't sure I wanted to know.
"Let's get you home," Carlisle said then, as he released the parking brake and pulled back onto the highway.
Home. I knew he meant the big white house in the forest, but I couldn't seem to associate the word with it, or with any other place.
Where is home, when your heart is broken?
