Title: They say everything can be replaced

by: Jessica

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Note: This is once again Luke's POV

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"Some day when you grow lonely,

Your heart will break like mine and you'll want me only,

After you've gone, after you've gone away."

( From After you've gone by: Nina Simone )

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Two days later

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It wasn't like the world ended the day she turned me away.

But it did stop.

Or at least that was how it felt.

I have had my heart broken before and I have learned to be careful.

But this time, I guess I wasn't looking.

The blame is mine, no one else's.

It wasn't like we played in the same league.

She was everything.

And I was simply Luke, the guy that owned the diner.

So the fault was mine, thinking she might actually want me.

She was hurting and I acted foolishly.

I can see that now.

But I will not regret telling her.

Not this time.

I'm so tired of running.

I have been running for almost half my life.

I have been hiding behind friendship.

At least now, I know.

I thought I could save her with my love.

I thought if I just gave her my heart to do what she wished she would

be fine and come back to me some way or another.

I never expected to be turned away.

I didn't think she would say it back to me, it wasn't the reason I said it.

All I wanted was to reach out my hand, reach out, and give her me.

For once in my life I wanted to give myself without holding back.

I never expected to get my heart crushed in the process.

I should hate her.

I should react like I have always have and turn away.

But not this time.

If I turn away now, she will be lost.

And I can't take that.

I can take a broken heart every day if she is just here with me.

I'm doing fine, really.

It only hurts when I breathe.

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I heard it spoken about in all the corners of this small town.

I knew that they didn't want me to hear.

But I couldn't avoid it.

She was leaving.

I didn't believe at first.

I thought they finally had lost it.

So, foolish as I was I walked the path to her house to set things clear.

I went there to set the record straight, nothing else.

Maybe a part of me wanted to make amends and try to get back to how things were

between the two of us.

I needed to be the one that saved her.

I needed to be the one she ran to.

If I wasn't.

Then who was I to her?

The sign in front of the house told me the story that I had shut my eyes for.

'For Sale'.

Just words.

Nothing else.

I stood there a long time, staring at that stupid sign.

A part of me wanted to burn it.

The other part couldn't believe it.

But mostly I was scared.

That maybe, just maybe, it was true.

Lorelai Gilmore was leaving.

I walked the path to her house and knocked on the door.

This is the part where your heart actually hurts.

She answered just a second later.

"Luke."

Our eyes met.

And all I could remember was the feel of her lips against mine.

It struck me with such force that I almost gasped for air.

Fool.

"What is that stupid sign doing on your lawn?"

"Come inside..."

She moved a side and let me into her home.

What was left of it.

Boxes filled the living room and kitchen.

And the truth hit me right in the chest.

"What are you doing?"

I wanted her to tell me some of her jokes now. I needed to hear them.

For once in my life I wanted this to be one of her many jokes.

But it wasn't.

And how it hurt.

I turned towards her.

"I'm leaving..."

Her eyes met mine.

"You're kidding.."

I turned away and ran a hand through my hair.

I felt panic eating at me, slowly.

"No."

I turned towards her, I laughed and said:

"Then you must have finally lost it."

"I'm moving back home."

One blow and I was down.

"What do you mean 'moving back home'?"

"Mom, said I could stay with them for a while and then I might

look for an apartment in the city.."

"City?"

"Boston."

How easily my world crumbled.

I thought it was stronger than that.

I thought I was stronger than that.

I thought I had learned better than giving my heart like that.

Guess I was wrong.

"You can't want this!"

My eyes were begging her to surrender.

To tell me that it was all a lie.

But as our eyes met the truth was revealed and something inside of

me exploded and went flying.

I could feel it.

It almost made me gasp for air.

"It's my home."

"NO! Stars Hollow is."

"It's my family."

"Everyone in this town is your family. Those people...You hated it

there, remember?"

"It's still my family. They are the only people I have left now!"

"You have us! There is no one in this town that wouldn't do anything

for you. You know that."

"I need to go home."

"This is your home! That place was never your home. You told me that.

You hated it."

"I can't stay here..."

"Yes, you can! We can help out...Everyone...And.."

"Luke, no..."

I moved closer to her.

She didn't back away this time.

"At least...I can go up there...And we could..."

"You would hate every minute of it..."

"Does that mean that I can't see you?"

"It's just.."

I took her hand in mine.

She avoided my eyes and her face twisted and turned with feelings

I couldn't read.

"What? Tell me..."

"I can't...."

"What?"

Her eyes glimmered with tears as they finally met mine.

"I can't see you, Luke...Not now..Not again..."

"What are you talking about?"

"This town. ..Everyone here....They remind me of her...And I can't..

It feels like I'm slowly dying....I thought I could handle it...I

was so sure that if I just let time pass then I would be fine...

But everywhere I go in this town I remember her and it hurts too much.."

"And that includes me?"

"Yes.."

"That's bull shit and you know it!!!"

Anger filled me.

It was the only emotion that I reached for.

I let go of her hand and backed away.

"Luke!"

"This again! I can't believe it! So this town makes you remember Rory...

Big deal....That's no excuse for you to run away just like a little girl."

"I'm not running away..."

"The Lorelai I knew would stay and fight!"

"Fight! Fight! I have nothing left to fight for!!"

"You have everything to fight for!!! What about The Dragon Fly? What about

this house? So you will just walk away from everything like some fucking coward."

"Don't say that!"

"Coward? That's what you are..."

"..You don't know anything! Just leave me alone!"

She moved away from me.

"That's your answer for anything. Just run away. You think packing up

and leaving like this will make everything go away. All you will do is

hide it away."

"I'm not hiding from anything."

"You could have fooled me......"

"I don't have to explain anything to you!"

She started to move towards the door.

Suitcases in her hands.

"Lorelai!"

She stopped by the door.

I moved towards her.

The last remaining pieces of my heart beat angrily inside my chest.

"Stay..please...I'm sorry for what I said....."

She stood with her back turned.

"Please, Luke...Just let me go..."

Her voice trembled as she spoke.

"I can't do that and you know it..."

"You have to..."

My hands trembled a little as I reached out my hand and touched her

arm.

She turned slowly towards me.

It felt like the ground shoke under me as our eyes met.

"I can help you...Let me help you...We can work this out together..."

"Luke...."

"All I ask is that you let me help you..."

"You can't help me...Not this time..."

"There has to be some way..Something I can do to make you..."

"No..not this time. And you know it..."

I saw it in her eyes.

She was determined to go.

"Don't do this.."

"I have to..."

"Please..."

"Luke..."

She started to turn away and I reacted instinctly.

Her skin was warm under my hand as I touched her cheek and made her

look at me.

I have never acted foolishly in my whole life.

I was a master of my own world and I played the cards life had given

me carefully.

I was the person that stood back and watched before I acted.

I never let my heart guide me.

I was stronger than that.

But not this time.

I had been holding back for all my life.

When it came to love I was no master.

The truth was that I was scared.

The thought of opening my heart so fully to a single person left me

terrified.

I had done it a couple of times in my life and it all ended in

me getting my heart broken.

So I learned to build the wall around my heart higher and I maintained

that wall over the years.

But somehow and in someway she was the only one that had gotten

through that wall and touched my heart.

And now she was walking out my life.

And that thought scared me more than anything else.

I could survive her being with someone else, loving someone else

than me.

At least then she would still be here in my life.

But I couldn't take her leaving.

It would break me totally.

"Don't go, please, Lorelai. I don't want you to go."

"I know..."

"I want you to stay here... with me.."

The words were out.

And I opened my heart fully to her.

It was hers to keep.

It had always been her.

"Luke..Don't..I can't..."

"Tell you don't feel anything for me and I back off...I promise..."

"Don't do this.."

"Just answer me.."

"We are friends...Nothing else..."

"So you feel nothing..."

"No."

Just a word.

A simple word that broke me in two.

"Oh.."

It was the only word that slipped from my mouth.

I started to turn away.

I felt ashamed of giving my heart like that.

Like some foolish young boy with a crush.

I thought I was smarter than that.

I finally managed to collect myself and turned towards her.

And my first reaction was to save the last remaining pieces of

my pride.

"So this is goodbye then."

"Luke.."

"What?"

"Don't be like that."

"Like what?"

"All icy.."

"All I said was goodbye..Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Not like that...."

"It's the only way I know how to say goodbye..."

I raised the wall instinctively to push her away from my heart.

"So that's it?"

"Guess so.."

But as she moved towards the door the pain was there grinding me

into pieces.

Her hand turned the doornob.

I wanted to shout out another plead to her to stay.

But I just stood there.

Like the fool I was.

She stopped in the doorway and looked back at me.

I was so determined to stand my ground so I just stood there.

"Goodbye, Luke..."

Then she walked away from me.

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