Chapter 9

A knock on the door sounded in Kaoru's room. After the single tap the door was opened hastily and the physician entered.

"Kaoru," the consternation in his voice was unmistakable, although he tried to hide it.

Kaoru gathered the sheet to her breasts and sat on the bed.

"Marcus?"

Light filtered through the blinds and in that meagre light Kaoru saw him registering her nudity before his eyes moved to scan her face.

"I was ordered by the First to see you...last night...he spent it with you," Kaoru did not know if it was a question, but she treated as such.

"Yes," she averted her gaze.

Silence.

"Are you hurt? No, what a silly question you would know what to do, are you...did he force you?"

"Marcus, I think you need to sit down, you look sick. Perhaps I should be the one to look after you." A small smile appeared on her lips and only then did the physician moved to an armchair and relieved his shaking legs.

"I thought he forced you, I thought I would come to see you broken...and Noria's hope lost forever."

Kaoru lowered her head, her smile gone. "Noria's hope...look at me, I gave myself to Noria's biggest enemy, can you still call me the hope of Light? After all this, will there be any part of me unclaimed by him?"

"Then why did you do it?"

The curtain of her raven hair obstructed his view of her eyes but when she raised her head they were blank.

"I don't know."

She was lying.


Kaoru could not stay still. Never before had her waiting room seemed so small and cramped. She paced the length of the room and when the knock on the door sounded, she swore that her heart slammed against her ribcage.

She stood for a moment in a stupefied stillness.

"Kaoru? May I come in?"

"Yes..." her voice was no more than a whisper although he seemed to have heard it perfectly because a moment later the door was opened and the First stepped in.

He paused by the door, his sharp amber eyes watching her. A knowing smirk appeared on his handsome face when she blushed crimson at his look.

"Co...come in," Kaoru stuttered and felt foolish because he was already inside.

"Little one," he walked towards her, stopping a couple of paces away, "I trust you are well?" The playful smirk was still tugging at his lips but his eyes were serious, which made Kaoru remember her reaction after their coupling the night before.

"I am well," Kaoru said and as if to prove it, she took a single step towards him and hesitated.

Kenshin closed the remaining distance and Kaoru closed her eyes as he bent his head to hers. His lips were cold, so was his body, as Kaoru knew very well. His movements were soft initially but when she shyly rested her palms on his chest, she felt the nature of his kiss change. It became deeper, more desperate and his arms circled her body tightly.

"Don't be afraid, little one," he murmured against her lips when a moan, involuntarily, sounded in her throat, although Kaoru herself did not know if it was from fear or something else.

His hold eased a bit and he withdrew slightly to have a better of view of her. "Dinner first," he said almost to himself before he led her to the table.

Dinner was an awkward event, where Kaoru tried to look anywhere but into his eyes. And whenever their eyes interlocked, the way he was watching her, with his fingers interlaced before his mouth, and what she saw in his eyes, made the blood rise to her face. However, as their meal drew to an end, Kaoru made an effort to control herself and forget about last night for few minutes.

She had an important matter to discuss with him.

"Kenshin," she said, her eyes were lowered but she willed herself to meet his gaze and hold it.

His eyebrows rose a fraction. "Yes, little one?"

Kaoru's chest heaved as she took a deep breath. "I have something to ask."

She watched as all the signs of amusement disappear from his countenance, he sat back on his chair, his amber eyes never leaving hers. "You know I would grant you anything that pleases you, little one, within reason, and excepting one thing."

Kaoru knew exactly what that one thing was.

I will never release you. You will never leave.

Those words he had uttered on her first week in Thalamia, before she stabbed herself.

Kaoru shook her head to clear that memory away.

"Yes, I understand. What I want is, I believe, within your power to grant."

His eyes flashed. "Everything is within my power to grant."

"Will you halt all the blood ceremonies in Thalamia if I ask?"

No reply came immediately. "I see. You are challenging me. This, I believe, is not your request. You would not ask for something so foolish."

"No," not yet, "no, what I am asking your permission for is to establish a clinic here, to heal injured and sick servants and anyone requiring help."

There was the briefest of pause as Kenshin considered. "Injured slaves are of no use in the palace."

Kaoru knew exactly what happen to the sick slaves. They were given to the church to be used on the altars.

"I can change that," replied Kaoru as she rose to her feet, her lilac dress smooth over the curves of her young body. Her feet carried her to him and she stopped by his chair. "Please, if I am to stay here I need to do this," I need to retain something of the Light, a small flicker of light in the darkness would be enough for now. "It would mean a lot to me."

The First Servant of the Dark was looking up at her with unreadable glint in his golden eyes. Then with one graceful movement he pushed his chair and was on his feet, few inches away from her.

His cold fingers began to touch the line of her jaw. "This I can grant."

Kaoru's sapphire eyes widened in surprise, shocked to have his consent so fast. A trembling hand rose to his and she pressed her lips to the palm of his cold hand as she closed her eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered, and for some reasons she felt the wetness trail down her cheeks. "Thank you."

But Kenshin was not hearing. He had seen the light leap to existence when he had uttered his consent –her request was harmless, and if it made her happy, he was willing to allow it. And his decision he did not regret now because her light flared as it had never before. So vivid, so captivating. Without a warning he encircled her with his arms and pressed her to his body before his lips met hers. Her light engulfed him and it did not hurt him. The need to possess it, to possess everything about her made him sweep her off her feet and into his arms. Fear mingled with her gratitude as he carried her to her bedroom and laid her on the bed. His movements were fast and desperate and this time he relished the fear that oozed from her and made no effort to ease it.

Tonight he would take, as a payment, all he wanted from her.


Kaoru curled under the silky covers of her bed. The room was dark, it was past midnight.

He would be here any moment.

Fear flickered within her as it always did before he came. But her fear was soon forgotten because she sensed something.

Her body tensed.

Someone was in the room.

Slowly she moved. It must be Kenshin. But she found it strange. He always knocked and asked for permission before he entered.

Rising to a sitting position, her loose raven hair cascading behind her, Kaoru saw a shadow, darker than the shadows of the room, standing at the foot of her bed.

"Kenshin?" even as she asked this she knew it was not him. This shadow was taller and broader.

A movement was all the warning Kaoru received before a red blast hurtled toward the bed. Kaoru had the chance to escape the full power of the hit but part of it slammed against her shoulder as she ruled off the bed. A gasp of pain escaped her mouth but she was a warrior of Noria, trained to swift action, so her fighting instincts kicked in and she jumped to her feet beside the bed and began to trace the Great Ward in the air before her, deflecting the second blow. Blood ran down her left arm but she did her best to forget the pain.
"Good, you are good." The shadow spoke. The voice, nauseating with its familiarity, made her heart lurch a beat as her confused mind began to associate it with a painful memory of years ago. And as the Light of her Great Ward illuminated the room the voice gave shape to a beautiful face directly from her nightmares. Pale hair, black eyes, strong hands.

Hands which had tormented her mother.

Kaoru's first impulse was to hide under the bed, the chair, in the darkest shadow. Not to escape the silver haired Servant but to escape the memory of a night filled with screams, a night when she had been a helpless child, hiding in a wagon, paralysed with fear.

Mother...

Only now she was not a helpless child.

With a cry of rage Kaoru flung out her arms, her injury forgotten, and great White Light shot forward towards the Second of her enemies, the man who had killed her mother and almost her.

The strength of her attack forced the Second to step back as he warded. His red shield crackled against her onslaught and for a moment even he, the second strongest of his kind, was surprised by her strength. But then his shield strengthened and another shadow materialized beside him.

Kaoru screamed.

In her pure haze of rage and shock, all Kaoru's senses had been focused on the silver haired servant. Therefore, when his red shield suddenly grew brighter she was not aware of the newcomer until it was too late.

Red flame shot towards her and she had time for the briefest of shields before it hit her.

It was then that Kenshin made his entry. The doors burst open with a crash and the scene in Kaoru's room made him release a mighty roar which stopped the two other Nightwalkers. Kaoru was unconscious on the floor. Kenshin stepped before her, red flame gathering in his hands.

"A pity," his voice was icy, and for this all the more frightening. The rage he felt shone in his amber eyes. "Two of the strongest of my allies should die tonight."

Enishi's black eyes flickered to the unconscious girl lying on the floor behind his superior.

"You dare? You dare to protect her kind?"
"And you dare to come to my palace and attack someone under my protection. I can wipe you from existence this very instance." Red light began to circle Kenshin's beautiful hands.

"You, the strongest and the closest to the Dark Lord," Enishi persisted, "is taking a creature like her under your protection? Her Light is strong for a mortal, I had sensed it, as you had, many years ago. And I had come close to destroying it. Tonight I came to finish my work."

The crimson Light flared around Kenshin. "I see. Then, Second, you will die, for you see, she is mine." The Light intensified and Enishi took his stance.
The black haired woman moved before Enishi.

"My Lord," her voice was musical.

"Move," the First hissed.

"My Lord, we did not know she was under your protection," she spoke calmly, her black eyes never leaving the bright ones of her Lord. "Years ago, we ventured into Noria to kill a renowned healer, and we succeeded. This child had been with her and she…"

"Tomoe..." Enishi began but she cut him in.

"And she injured Enishi. Tonight we were passing the palace to pay our respect to you when we felt her presence. We had no idea that she is yours."

The red Light around Kenshin was still there but the fire was gone.

"Then it shall be known to the whole world. Leave." It was all he said before he turned and knelt before his little one.

"Forgive us, we don't presume to stay now, we will leave this instance." It was the female again. Enishi had not spoken since but his black eyes were watching the strongest of their kind as he handled the child of Light. What he saw shocked him but then Tomoe touched him and they both disappeared, lucky to have escaped at all.

Kenshin did not see them leave, nor did he care to. He was kneeling before Kaoru, who was bleeding. His anger was visible yet he had put his Empire before her. Those two should have died for having injured her so but they were the most active of the Servants, brave enough to venture inside Noria and wreck the most damage they could.

"Little one…" he whispered before he scooped her into his arms and outside the room.


Outside, on one of the high towers, Enishi and Tomoe stood side by side.

"It was very interesting." Enishi remarked.

"Indeed." The woman agreed, her shinning black hair whisking around her.

" And it would be very interesting to see where this lead. When was it the last time you saw the First among us protect something?"

"Never."

"Precisely."

Silence lasted for a moment as they both surveyed the empire that stretched below.

"Do you see the opportunity?" it was the woman who spoke.

"For?" but the Second knew exactly what she was talking about.

"You are the Second, only one person stands between you and between being the most powerful among us." She turned to look at him. "You could rule all this," and her hand motioned to the dark city below them.

"It might prove difficult," Enishi said, "the girl, he cares for yes, but he had spared me despite what I have had done. Whatever she is to him, the Empire is more important."

"For now." Tomoe's voice was emotionless. "It is all unprecedented, we shall bid our time and watch. Perhaps he might grow tired of her and kill her himself, or his attachment might develop and it would become his weakness. Either way, this girl should not be allowed to live."


When Kaoru opened her eyes she found that the room was unfamiliar. As the haze of sleepiness ebbed away, a pain flared on her left shoulder.

"Little one…"

Kaoru turned her head to the left and saw Kenshin standing at that end, his amber eyes fixed on her.

"Kenshin…"

"The physician did what he could, but his work does not satisfy me," he moved closer, "use your Light."

Kaoru heard him but her mind was on something else. "That man, the servant…"

"They are gone, they shall never hurt you again."

"I see."

For several moments her eyes remained locked with his, and Kenshin found that he did not like the look in her blue eyes. He sat by the bed and touched her face.

"Little one, what troubles you? Is it the pain?"

Kaoru shook her head. "That Nightwalker had killed someone very important to me."

The hand that was caressing her cheek stopped, then "I see." But a moment later he cupped her cheek and made her look at him. "But little one, your life in Noria is over, your life is with me now."

And those words made her want to cry.

Your life in Noria is over.

Okita, is it true? Is my past better buried and forgotten? Will I ever see you again? Or the little children of my village?

"Kaoru?" she felt his arm wound itself beneath her shoulders and only when he pulled her to his body did she realised that tears were running down her pale cheeks. She pressed her face against his chest and clung to him.

Your life is with me now.

Mother, Okita, Abikaro…forgive me.


He watched her as she slept.

It was early; the night had just begun. But he knew she would be tired. These past two months she had worked hard to start her clinic. It gave her a pleasure he did not understand to tend to the injuries of her slaves. But it made her happy, and he was willing to allow it.

"Little one," he whispered. She stirred; in the darkness of the curtained room he could see the hint of smile turn the corners of her mouth.

He smiled as well.

Why do you rarely use my name?

He remembered clearly the serious look on her face.

Kaoru of Noria.

"No," he said, mirroring the words of two months ago, although no one could hear them. "You are of Noria no longer."

He saw her face darken for a moment, but what he had said was the truth. She was his.

"You are my little one. You belong here."

Kenshin. She had looked up, the darkness that he hated in her alone already fading. How would you like it if I always called you "Your Majesty" or "Your Highness"?

"Those are not among my titles. They are human conceits."

And he remembered her little snort.

All right. If I always called you "Lord" or "First of the Servants. "

"First, little one, of the Sundered."

You know what I mean. 'Little one' is not a name.

"But you are mine."

She had thrown up her hands and shaken her head.

You know something? I never could have imagined that you would remind me of Okita.

And then the silence had come over her again. But he knew her well; knew that this particular silence would hang like a cloud for the night if he did nothing. He did not ask her who Okita was; he did not wish to know. Her life, or all of it that concerned him, began when he took her, living, from the village that she had tried so futilely to protect.

He walked over to the bed and touched her sleeping face, tracing the line of the smile that still lingered there.

"I will call you whatever you wish, Kaoru, but you will always be mine."

"Little one..." he had said.

Kenshin—. . . It's a diminutive.

"Is it?"

Well—it would be the same as if I called you, I don't know, darkling.

"Darkling?"

"Darkling . . ."

Mortals were so odd.

"Shhh, Kaoru. Sleep a while yet; it is two hours or more before we leave."

She nodded and reached out to touch him. Then her eyes fluttered open, blue even in this light.

"Kenshin?"

"Kaoru." He sat by her on the bed and pulled her into his arms. He tilted his head up slightly as her light wrapped itself gently around him.

"Is it already time?" She murmured, stretching her arms out awkwardly.

"Not yet."

"Oh."

"Did you accomplish your tasks during the day?"

She nodded sleepily. "Marcus will tend to the servants here while I'm gone."

Always servants—she never called them slaves.

Happily she added, "He thinks Evan will probably be qualified as a doctor soon."

He listened politely; Evan did not concern him.

Knowing this, she changed the subject. "Where are we going first?"

"Did you not read the itinerary I gave you?"

"I didn't understand it all. I haven't managed to master reading your impossible language just yet."

"Ah. We go to Malay, to see the duke."


The duke of Malay had been seen. The duke of Daimyo had been seen. The duke of Nara had been seen.

She shuddered quietly, pressing her head against the cold metal frame of the carriage window, striving to control the anger and the grief that those visits had caused her as she continued through her mental list.

The baron of Fellhearth had been seen. She remembered him clearly because of the particularly ghoulish way he had delighted in his naming of his granted lands. He was not a Yamidarian—one of perhaps three who were not—and he didn't know, couldn't know, who she truly was.

Her smile tightened momentarily. He did learn.

Kenshin. Why did you bring me here? Why do we have to keep on with this hideous tour?

"It is only for a little while longer, Kaoru," he had said. "Only a few more weeks, and we shall return to Darthia." The same words, always the same.

Darthia, the capital of Thalamia. Never before had the name seemed quite so welcome, quite so bright.

But why do I need to—

This, too, memory answered. "You do not. But I, little one, wish these men to meet you. I wish them to know who you are. Bear with my decision."

And she had.

It helped to know that while she visited there were no ceremonies, that while she walked the various grounds, she could tend to those slaves that might need her help. But it also reminded her of all that she could not do, all that would continue happening to the helpless when she left.

A third month passed.


She had been almost afraid to go. She remembered it clearly as she stepped out of the carriage for perhaps the twentieth time, gathering the ostentatious skirts of yet another dress and holding them high above her laced "travelling" boots.

Kenshin aided her as she stepped down, and she gripped his hand firmly. Another noble—Baron Tremayne—was already bowed to the ground before the shadow of the Lord of the Empire.

Swirling around the velvet of his finery was a thin, red line—another Yamidarian.

"Lord."

"Baron Tremayne. You may rise."

The man complied. He was not used to such displays of obedience, and they suited him poorly; neither his dress, all fine, dark blue velvet with frills and lace, nor his girth allowed for grace. He turned to the guards arrayed at his back and nodded briefly.

"You grace my humble lands with your presence."

"Indeed. "

Watching, she caught the hint of cruel smile play around Kenshin's lips.

"Will you require rooms, Lord?"

"Yes. For myself, and for Lady Kaoru."

Lady Kaoru grimaced and stepped forward. She could not bring herself to bow, but managed a polite nod.

"Lady Kaoru." Baron Tremayne stepped forward, reached for her hand, and took a sudden step back as his blood-sight told him who he was dealing with. It didn't surprise her; she'd seen it played over and over again at each stop they had made. She wished that Kenshin had made clear what his visit would entail—and he had been quite adamant in his refusal to do so.

"They will learn at my leisure, Lady. And at yours."

"Will you stop calling me 'Lady'? I don't want people to associate me with the nobility, not in these lands."

"Do you not? I am sorry, little one. But nobility you will be, and of greater station than any of these can possibly hope to attain. They will respect you." His tone allowed for no argument.


"Baron Tremayne," she said softly. She couldn't help but smile as he struggled to control his reaction. Maybe a little of Kenshin's amusement had touched her as well. It was a light thought, but it drove the smile from her face.

The baron turned to stare at Kenshin, striving for respect amid his confusion.

This, too, she was familiar with.

She was glad that it was almost over. She longed for home.

Home? She looked down at her feet. Lady Kaoru, Kaoru of Darthia. Over the many weeks, these titles had become familiar.

She reached for Kenshin's hand.

He raised an eyebrow, but lent her his strength.

"May I show you to your rooms, Lord?"

"You may. Come, Lady."


Their quarters were not as grand as those that they shared in the palace, but they were luxuriously equipped; each piece of finely crafted furniture was dark and gleamed in the dim light. A slave might fetch a lesser price on the blocks. At least the baron had been given enough warning to manage this—this, and more.

In the corner of the room, hands behind her back, a young girl lay curled against the floor.

"I see that the rooms are already occupied." Again the First of the Sundered gave a chilling smile.

Mistaking him, the Baron smiled in return. "Yes, Lord. You will find that she is quite suitable for your needs. I will send a detail to remove her after you are finished, should you require it."

Lady Kaoru did not wait to hear Kenshin's reply. She ran across the room and knelt beside the child. Her pale hands touched pale hair very gently.

The girl looked up. Her face was tearstained and very white.

Nothing cut Kaoru more than this: the sudden widening of eyes and the resurgence of pure terror.

"Child, child," she said, pulling the girl awkwardly into her lap. She sent out a finger of her power, placing it gently against the fear that she felt so strongly.

The child whimpered and suddenly pushed herself into Kaoru's arms.

"Shhh. It's all right, it's all right. I'm here now. I'll protect you." Small shoulders strained against the chains that were now visible. A hint of blood around the wrists showed the strength of the young girl's panic. "I'll protect you. Shhhh."

Bitterly she noted that aside from the chafing, the girl was uninjured. No one gave used goods to the Lord of the realm. Her anger caused her to tremble, even as the child did. She looked up and met the baron's eyes, her own blue and flashing with a power he knew.

"Kaoru?" Kenshin said softly, ignoring the Baron's sudden stare.

"Please."

He nodded quietly and walked over to where the two sat huddled.

The child tensed, and Kaoru stroked her hair with the blue of her power. "It's all right. He's a friend. He'll help me take these chains away."

The child quieted. Kaoru knew it was only because she hadn't the blood-sight that would see beyond the beauty of Kenshin's face and identify him clearly. She saw only another man, another noble, albeit a red haired one in black jacket, black shirt, and black pants. At least they were not the robes of the priesthood.

Kenshin touched the cool steel manacles and gestured with mild contempt. They snapped crisply and fell away. Kaoru pulled the child fully into her grasp and turned her away; she did not want her to see that the metal smouldered.

"Lord?"

Very slowly, Kenshin turned his head, the red strands of his crimson hair swaying. "Yes?"

"I don't understand. Have I displeased you?"

"Displeased me?" He shrugged elegantly. "That is not your concern. You have displeased the Lady, however." He smiled. "And the Lady chooses to grant her mercy here. Do you question this?"

"M-mercy?"

"Ah, but that is not mine to grant. Lady?"

"Not now," she replied tersely. She pulled the child gently to her feet. "In fact, I think it best if you both continue your discussion elsewhere for a time." Turning her back on them, she carried the girl to the large, regal bed.

"What is your name, child? " she asked softly.

The girl was young, but not so young that she would answer that question when asked by a noble.

The baron, however, was unwise enough to answer for her.

"She's a slave, she has no name" he said, half-incredulous.

"Oh? " Kaoru's voice was cool. "I wasn't aware that I was asking the question of you."

His face darkened. He started to step forward and Kenshin caught him by the arm. Kaoru heard the baron's gasp of pain. She couldn't help it; she smiled almost viciously, an expression that vanished completely as she turned to speak with the child.

"My name is Lady Kaoru, but most people just call me Kaoru, unless they happen to be nobility." She grimaced with distaste at the word.

"I'm a slave," the girl said cautiously. Kaoru smiled, encouraged. These were the first words the girl had spoken. She applied a little more of her power, but not too much; she would still have her tour of the house to make, and there were many, she was sure, that would require at least as much attention.

"I know," she said. "But that isn't your fault." The fear vanished under the weight of her power. "Do you want to go home?"

The child nodded.

"Well, then," Lady Kaoru said, taking the child's hand. "If you think you can walk, I'll take you. What is your mother called by the other slaves?"

The child stood on her toes and whispered something. Kaoru nodded. She braced herself for the fear that would follow when she met the girl's parents; fear mingled with hate of the station that Kenshin had granted her.

Little fingers wrapped themselves suddenly around hers. It helped. She smiled down.

Without another word to the two who watched, she left the room.


Kenshin helped her into the carriage. He watched as she waved her silent good-byes to the windows of the large mansion; watched in surprise and acceptance as those windows, ringed by slaves, acknowledged her passing. Hope he knew, and hope he saw in the faces that watched.

This was why Noria had always been a danger to him. But that danger was secondary.

He looked down at Kaoru's weary face and wrapped her gently in the anonymity of his shadow. Do you not see, he thought, as his hand stroked her hair, the effect that you have had? He did not think so—else why would she be so weary, so tired?

"He was the last, little one. From here we return home."

She sighed, nodded, and closed her eyes, pressing herself closer to him. Her breathing alone told him that she did not sleep.

"All things are in preparation in Darthia; they will be waiting for us."

"Waiting?"

"Yes."

She was silent a moment, as she always was when she was trying to understand something. "Kenshin?"

"Yes?"

"Why did we come here? Why did we tour Thalamia?"

He smiled. "Must you always question all that I choose, little one? Can you not just accept that it was necessary?" But he knew the answer to his question; he asked it only out of habit.

"Very well," he said, when her silence grew too long. "What had happened two months ago shall never be repeated. I wished all of them to know you, Lady. I wished them to understand your position. I wished to force them to accept what will soon be a known fact: You are my consort. You are my chosen Empress. Under my command, you will rule by my side."

Again her silence answered him; her silence and her sudden stiffness.

"You—you told them that?"

"Not, perhaps, in so many words. Why?"

"You—you told them that I was—that I'm—" She pulled away from him, not an easy manoeuvre in the confined space of the carriage.

Once again she had managed to surprise him. He looked at her pale, shocked face, at her wide, unblinking eyes. They spoke of a tremulous horror that he could not understand. Had he not just granted her more power than any of her kind had ever known? Had he not indicated how important she had become to him? Had he not acknowledged to her that she was no slave, to come and go entirely at his whim?

This rank, this title—it was a gift that the nobility would kill for. Why then did she not show the appreciation that was his right?

He was angry and he fought to stifle it. Here, alone in the darkness with her, he could take no chances. Control came with difficulty.

"Did you even think of asking me?"

His teeth glimmered in the shadow; it was not a smile.

"Asking you, Kaoru?"

"Asking me."

He felt her own anger, so much less dangerous, in every syllable. There was a snap as one of the gilt-edged windows broke away beneath his fingers.

"I have, " he said with difficulty, "bestowed upon you a rank that no half blood would dare to think of taking. I have honoured you above even my own brethren. You dare to ask me if—" Another snap. He bit back the remainder of the words.

She was trembling, but there was no hint of the beauty of fear about it.

"What if I don't want to rule this—this empire? What if I don't want to be associated with the nobility and the man—the Servant—who created it?" Her own hands gripped the side window out of which she looked. Landscape, obscured by nightfall, passed by her narrowed eyes.

He touched her shoulder. Very softly, he said, "Is it not too late to ask that?"

Her sudden tears dissolved his anger completely.

"Little one, Kaoru, why?" He touched her chin, turning her face toward him. "Am I cruel to you? Do I hurt you?"

"It isn't me that I worry about." Her voice was bitter and very distant. "It's never me that I have to worry about." Her head sagged forward without resistance. "Why do you want to do this to me?"

"Because I desire it. If I am to honour you, all of my subjects will."

"Honour me?" She laughed then, almost hysterically, and she would not speak again.


"Oh, Marcus, I'm so glad to be back!"

The doctor smiled. He looked both weary and happy as he nodded to the beds in the infirmary. Three were occupied.

"I'm not sure what you said, Kaoru, but we've been open for business these last three months—and no one's said a word against it. "

Her smile wavered. "It isn't what I said," she told him sadly, "but who I said it to."

"I thought it might be." He put an arm around her shoulder and steered her firmly to one of two chairs. "Was it hard?"

She nodded. "I—I think I've just been sheltered in Darthia. I—everywhere we went there was just so much ugliness. And I knew while I stayed I could change things, but does it help them when I've gone? What does a day here or there really mean when they have to look forward to years of slavery?"

He didn't press her for details.

"But the worst—the worst of it is here. Kenshin wants me to be Empress. " She laughed. Marcus did not.

"Empress?" he said softly.

"Empress." The word was flat. "Of the empire he's built. And I can't do it, Marcus. I can't." She stood suddenly and walked over to the window; it was glass. She pressed her cheek against it. "I've given up everything I can. I don't know if there'll be anything of me left if I do as he wants."

"What would he ask you to change?"

"What else would he have to? I wasn't raised and trained in Noria to rule at the side of a Nightwalker!"

"Not even one you love?"

"L-love?"

His eyes met her large ones.

"Love..." she repeated. Everything about her betrayed her horror. But then she smiled, quietly and sadly, all anger suddenly quenched. "Can I love him?"

"If you have no answer for that, there is not a mortal alive that does."

"And is love meant to be such a selfish thing, then? That I care about what he grants to me, when I know it is only to me that he grants it?"

Marcus was very thoughtful. He was old; he had the experience that she lacked in the seventeen years of her life.

"Love, Kaoru, is not easily defined. But only the love of the Bright Lord Himself is not motivated by mortal things. It is, in some ways, selfish. And in some, selfless. Were your lover human, I would counsel you as you counsel yourself: to seek another. Often, what one will do to others, they will one day do to you. But that isn't, I think, the case here." He stepped closer to her. "Sometimes I think you are more afraid of the kindness he offers than of the death he could give."

She nodded, the same smile pulling her lips down. "I am."

"Then this is the hope that must guide you: that the Servant can give these things. Perhaps for now, they are only given to you—but maybe, in time . . ."

"Do you really believe that? "

"It isn't important if I do, Kaoru. Do you?"

"I try to." She looked down at her hands. They were shaking. "But it's hard. I keep thinking—I know what he does. I know it and, if I accept it, I must be a party to it somehow. I can almost see the blood on these hands."

He closed his eyes. She was so young, so young to shoulder such burden. "I know," he said gently. "But if that's the case, then ask yourself what you really want. "

"I have. I still don't know. Three months ago, I might have said 'to go home.' Two months ago, even. Now ... I just don't know."

"Kaoru, do you love him?"

"Do I?" She looked at the walls as if she could drag answers from them.


Dinner was a ritual. Food was laid out on a short, low table, each tray appealing in its presentation. Two silver plates decorated either end of the dark wood; cutlery, in the empire's odd style, lay on the left side. On the right, two goblets, each worth more than a small farm's yearly harvest.

A ritual. She greeted him at the door, taking care to see that the large skirt of silk and the crinoline beneath it weren't crushed against the wall.

He asked, "Would it trouble you if I remained?"

She shook her head, out of habit, really. Was that all that ritual held? He took her arm as he led her to the table, even though they both knew she was capable of finding it on her own.

She stopped once, to adjust the lamplight, and then continued on to take the chair that he pulled out.

Ritual; she had taught him this, and he had accepted it. But as she looked across the full table to meet his golden eyes, she knew that more than habit lay beneath it.

It was the first thing I taught you.

He filled her goblet with a vintage he had chosen; a good one, although initially this had not always been the case. Not that it had made, or did make, much difference to his lady; she herself had known precious little about wine. She watched as the liquid, cool and clear, spilled gently into one goblet.

Soon they would drink it; soon they would eat. She would talk of her day, he of very little.

Then, afterward, they would retire, perhaps into the sitting room. He would speak more there, and she less. He would touch her, taking her face very gently into his winter hands. He would kiss her, less gently, and she would know a moment of fear; the same fear that was always present for the beginning of each night.

He would dim the lights, but not completely, and let the shadows touch them both.

Rituals.

Do I love you?

This was not a question she could ask him. He was First of the Dark Lord; what little he knew of love was cold and cruel.

Cold and cruel . . . She put her fork down, swallowing slowly, aware of him, as she was always aware.

"Kaoru? "

She shook her head, picked up the fork again, and watched it shake, the light gleaming off the silver.

What do I want?

Not to be Empress. Not to rule.

No?

She had already done much in his name, and with his permission: the clinic, the dismissal of the Church from the palace proper. What more might she hope for, if she had the courage to remain?

But she knew she must be honest with herself. She didn't know if courage alone kept her in this place.

Do I love you?

No answer came, and she took refuge in the dinner proper.

"Kaoru."

"Hmmm?"

"Are you well?"

She looked down at what remained of her dinner: most of what had been put upon her plate.

"I'm fine. "

"You have hardly eaten anything. Are you sure?"

She shook her head.

He rose, leaving rituals behind. Very quietly he came to stand beside her chair, one hand resting upon her shoulder.

"Is the thought of being consort to the Lord of Empire so terrible? "

She thought, for a moment, that she heard the smallest of catches in his voice. "I—I already am, aren't I?"

He smiled. "Yes. And I wish the rest of my subjects to know it."

She didn't ask him why. She said nothing for a long while. And then for no real reason, as she often did, she made her decision. She caught his hand, took a deep breath, and laid her cheek gently against it.

"I love you, Kenshin."

Her words were a sigh.

She didn't see his eyes widen, couldn't see the way the touch of her light leaped up like a sudden flare to dazzle his peculiar vision. Nothing he had seen yet had prepared him for this.

Love? He watched the steadiness of her inner light, wondering where the twisting current and eddies of it had gone.

Love? He touched her face very gently, amazed that he could do so. And he understood for the first time all that she offered, and all that he wanted. He understood what he had seen the first time they had met; knew that it had not been for him that the light had shone.

He knew that it shone for him now.

In wonder he met her blue, blue eyes.

Could such a one as this truly co-rule all that he had built? In all history, no one, human or half blood, had dared to offer a Servant of the Dark Lord this gift. All that he had been certain of before left him with nothing save the desire to hold this light aloft for any to see, could they choose it.

"Kaoru."

She nodded quietly.

"I wish them to know that I have chosen you. I wish them to know that you have chosen me." He drew her gently to her feet. "But if—if you choose against it, Lady, I shall abide by your decision." He could offer her nothing less.

She wrapped her arms around him, hiding her face in his chest. He heard her muffled voice as clearly as he felt it.

"They will know I've chosen. I'm afraid that they'll think I—I love this world you've made." She took a deep breath and drew back so he could once again see the starkness of her expression. "But no love should exist with shame. If I love you, I will do it without being ashamed of it." Her eyes were shining, a sad, bare brilliance.

"How, then, little one, do your people express this love?"

Her eyes widened. "My people?"

"The Noranen." He rarely asked anything about her former life. "The Yamidarians have little that could capture it; the Servants of the Dark Lord, none."

She bit her lip, and he wondered if in asking the question he had brought a pain he did not seek to inflict.

"There are—there are the rites of bonding, rituals, simple ones. I mean, when two people choose each other. There are other ways that we love; we love our parents, we love our brothers or our sisters, we love the Lady. " She took a deep breath, steadying herself. "But if there are two who wish to make their bond known, they call the rites, in front of people they care about. I—it's not easy to explain. "

She looked at the dinner, now cold, laid out before her.

"But I could teach you."

"Teach me, then. I would learn it. "


Yes Kenshin and Kaoru will marry and I think things will get bad soon. Yes I am sorry, but I promise you, no death! No Torture!

Now do you know what Kaoru's light represents? ^_^

I promise you the next chapter won't take so long. Please review.