Ryan threw himself onto his bed and curled up into a ball. It had been a weird day and he was feeling very confused. Why had Chad run away from him? He tried to remember the look in his eyes at the moment when they'd both remembered. It was shock, definitely, but was it something else too? Ryan had been pretty shocked too but now, well, it kind of made sense. They had both been seriously out of it, and Chad was gorgeous. What really confused him was that Chad had been a willing participant. Was it just because he was drunk, or…? Ryan shook his head. When you were drunk you were more honest, right? So it was what Chad wanted? As unlikely as it would have seemed only a few weeks ago, Ryan was starting to believe it now. Chad's kiss with Taylor had been very unconvincing, and ever since he saw him at the dance competition, he had allowed himself to consider the possibility that Chad was more than just a jock. But was he just convincing himself that Chad felt that way because he wanted him too? After all, Chad had run away today. Maybe he was just as confused.
'Argh!' His thoughts were just going round in circles, and it was making him dizzy. But underneath all of that, he couldn't wait to see Chad again. He thought about how close they had been in the janitor's closet, and how alone he had felt when Chad had run away. The rational part of Ryan's brain decided that it didn't matter how Chad felt - if they could just be friends it would be enough for now. He shook his head again. Screw that. There was no going back now he'd remembered. He needed to make a plan.
Ryan realised that he did not actually know that much about Chad. How was he supposed to ask him out when all he knew was that he liked basketball, baseball and probably dancing? Well baseball had worked out at the party hadn't it? He could feel himself blushing. Maybe he should just ask for more lessons.
He sighed and rolled over to face his bookshelf. The last time he had had a crush, he was thirteen, and he'd written all about it in this stupid diary with a padlock on it. He still had it, and only he knew where it was. He went to the bookshelf and took down his favourite book from when he was little, the hardback edition of The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark, the book he thought would be the safest because he knew Sharpay had thought it was boring. He carefully removed the dust jacket, and there was his diary, a battered red exercise book with the words 'FRENCH GRAMMAR' written on it to further deter Sharpay, just in case. He took it back to the bed with him and opened it, blowing dust off the pages.
I saw Derrick in Math today. He was wearing sports stuff in class. Usually I would think anyone who did that was just hopeless, but he can totally pull it off. I used to think guys who had his haircut were awful too, but on him it looks gorgeous. I love how his hair falls in his beautiful blue orbs.
Ryan couldn't help laughing. This was so embarrassing. Who would use the word 'orbs'? He flicked over a few pages, hoping to get to something that wouldn't make him want to throw the diary in a fire.
Derrick was playing football at lunch today so I went out to support him. I'm sure he noticed I was there because I wore my new suit in the team colours that Juana made for me. He didn't actually talk to me, but that's OK because I know he would probably want to keep his feelings secret from his friends. Some of his friends can be a bit...narrow-minded. His friend Chad is OK. He came to watch the game as well. I couldn't see Derrick for some of it because Chad's hair was blocking my view.
Oh. This was starting to get interesting. Ryan turned a couple more pages.
I HATE Derrick.
Ah. So that's how that had ended. Now he was reading it again, he couldn't believe he'd forgotten.
I thought he was different to all those other jocks but I guess not! I finally worked up the nerve to ask him if he wanted to come and see my dance show but all his friends started making fun of me and they said that dancing is for girls. I thought that Derrick would stand up for me but no! He joined in and said "what are you gay or something? that's gross" and then they all laughed at me! I HATE him. I HATE them.
Well, Chad's OK I guess. After they had left he hung back and apologised and he actually said it was kind of cool that I was good at dancing. That was nice of him I guess but he doesn't have to lie. I know they all think it's weird that I dance. Sometimes I just wish I could like something else. And someone else. That girl Kelsi's nice to me. If I could like her instead, this whole school thing would be way easier.
Ryan put the diary down. Even now, he could remember what he had felt like that day, and it hurt. But Chad was there. In trying to forget the whole horrible incident, he had forgotten how nice he'd been. At the time he'd thought that Chad was lying to make him feel better but looking back, it was possible that Chad actually did think it was cool that Ryan was good at dancing. He probably danced then too, but managed to hide it from his friends.
The more Ryan thought about him, the more amazing he seemed. How had he not noticed before? He had always gone for the Derricks of the world, the popular guys who were the best at sports. In fact, the fact that he didn't have a crush on Troy Bolton could only be a sign of serious character development. If it was someone like Chad, maybe things could work out? Chad was so nice, and he danced. He was perfect.
That's it, Ryan thought, I have to ask him out. He probably likes me, right? And even if he doesn't, he won't be a douche about it. That'll give me a chance to win him over! He turned the diary over so it opened to blank, upside-down pages. And even though he knew it was stupid, and it was embarrassing even while he was doing it, he wrote CHAD in big letters and drew a heart around it.
Ryan spent the rest of the day planning his best outfit to wear when he asked out Chad the next day. He eventually decided on a hot pink shirt and dark green skinny jeans, but not before hosting an impromptu fashion show for Juana.
'Trying to impress someone?' she asked, raising her eyebrows.
'Kind of,' he said. 'I think I already did.'
Chad had run straight home. It didn't matter that it was only lunchtime. He could not face anyone right now, especially Ryan. He slammed the door to his room and fell face first onto his bed. Why had this happened to him? If word got out about this, then he would lose all his newfound popularity. Would the team even want to play basketball with him anymore? He was so annoyed with himself that this had happened and he was even more annoyed that all he could think about was the way Ryan kissed him.
'Get out of my head!' he shouted.
I told you you'd regret it, Chad, said the basketball.
'I do!' Chad said.
He expected the basketball to argue with him on this, but it stayed silent. Chad sighed. He didn't need the basketball to tell him it wasn't true.
Wait, they had kissed during spin the bottle, so had everyone seen?! Oh god this was a nightmare. He would have to do some damage control. Although… in spin the bottle you have to kiss whether you want to or not. So their first kiss was because of that, not because he actually wanted to kiss Ryan! Chad could vaguely tell that the basketball was laughing at him but he ignored it. Yeah, the other stuff he probably only did because he was drunk and had already kissed Ryan so his inhibitions weren't working. Yeah that's definitely what happened, he told himself. Now he was sober, he could just forget about it. He could go out with Taylor, smart, pretty Taylor who had liked him all year, apparently. He fought back the shudder that accompanied that thought and tried to think about how great it would be to date her. He would probably start doing really well in Science tests, since it was pretty much all she talked about. And his friends seemed to approve. Gabriella was her best friend, and she was dating Troy, who he was good friends with now, what with all the basketball. They could go on double dates, wasn't that what high school was meant to be like? He grabbed his phone, but then realised that he didn't have Taylor's number. He went downstairs to see if his parents still had a telephone directory. Sure enough, he found the enormous, very scruffy looking book on the bottom shelf of the bookcase in the study. It was several years old, but it would have to do. He had to get this sorted out now, or it would bother him all night. He flipped through the pages, looking for the M section.
'What are you looking for sweetie?' his mom said suddenly.
Chad looked up, startled. She was standing in the doorway. 'Um...just a phone number,' he said.
'Aw…' his mom said, smiling widely. 'Is my little Chad calling a girl?'
'Well...yeah,' Chad said. His mom gasped and clapped her hands together, before running off, presumably to tell his dad. He sighed. He did not understand parents. But he had been right in thinking that this would make them happy.
Chad continued flicking through the pages until he reached McKessie. There were a few entries, but he wasn't in the mood for detective work. He took the book back upstairs to his room and dialled the first number. He waited while it rang. There was a click.
'McKessie household, this is Brianna,' a voice said.
'Erm...is Taylor there?' Chad asked.
'Sure,' Brianna said, sounding bored. 'TAYLOR!' Chad heard her yell. 'There's a BOY ON THE PHONE!'
Chad heard various shouts and screams on the other end of the phone as he waited for it to change hands.
'Hello,' Taylor said. Her voice sounded different, deeper, like maybe she had a cold. Or was this...Chad almost shuddered again. Was this Taylor being sexy?
'Um, hi. It's Chad, from school,' he said.
Taylor laughed. This sounded different too. She lowered her voice, presumably to keep her family from hearing what she was saying. 'You don't need to tell me who you are, Chad. Trust me, I know all about you.'
Chad felt vaguely threatened by this but valiantly continued. 'I was wondering if you'd, maybe, like to, uh, go on adatewithme?' There. He said it, no backing out now. This would shut that stupid basketball up.
'A date?' Taylor giggled. Chad was glad someone was finding this so funny. 'I didn't know that was your style, Chad. That's not the impression you gave me at the party, anyway.'
Oh god, did Taylor still think that they had… done stuff?
'Haha...yeah,' he said nervously. 'It's um...not like a date date, just a double date...with Troy and Gabriella.'
'Oh.' Taylor sounded disappointed. 'But we get some time alone together after, right?'
'Um…sure,' Chad said weakly. 'Well, I need to go, got to ask Troy if he can make it.'
'But we haven't even set a date for it yet?'
'Right, yeah, we can do that tomorrow at school I guess. Bye.' Chad quickly hung up and groaned. Why had he picked Taylor, of all people?
Less than three minutes later, Chad received a text from Troy, asking what time the double date was. How had word spread that fast?! He sighed, and resigned himself to his fate of dating Taylor.
