The Soul Within
Chapter 9 – Resilience
Written by: Amber M.
Author's Note: (cringe) 2 years huh? I... don't really know what happened. Loss of motivation or lack of ideas...? I am shame-faced... Please forgive me?
Well, recently this story has gone through some pretty heavy revisions. So if you were to re-read it maybe you'll find contentment and maybe... even feel a little inclined to review... again? Heheh, just... a suggestion...
It seemed like she had so much to think about, so many things to take her from the violence playing out before her. And yet obliviousness swirled through her mind like a vapor. Whenever she made the effort to open her mind, voices upon voices upon voices would impinge her nerves like the echoes of a bad dream. This would happen to her in broad daylight, and force her to seek seclusion wherever she could find it.
Inhaling a long breath, she tilted her head back, closing her eyes to the sun shining through sparse clouds. Similarly, if she tried, she could hear the surf breaking on the warm beach, mother earth's placid song caressing the glimmering ocean, and the soft murmur of her heartbeat resounding silently through every living thing. But when Julia did try to escape to that place of tranquility, the pangs of guilt only pronounced themselves within her chest.
Because, she knew, she was not supposed to run from her troubles. There would never be an escape for her. With this in mind, all she needed now was to summon the courage to find the demons constantly taunting her from afar and confront them head on.
She sighed wearily as her bubble of privacy eroded and the cacophony of riotous fighters blasted through her. Even standing as far back from the crowd as she could while needing to know what was going on, she was getting the whole smelly experience.
The preliminary matches of the King of Iron Fists Tournament 5 yielded the biggest turnout ever. Hence reason one there was little choice but for her to search for those familiar faces that'd all but disappeared from the world. It was somewhat daunting she'd yet to see any familiar face when it was already the fourth day since the tournament opened. Never mind the ridiculously overflowing culmination of people.
The site of the preliminary rounds was near the coast, an open wall dome harbored a makeshift ring at its center so called the "Pit" where five to seven would-be fighters entered and duked it out until only one was left standing. It was a little scary how easily people could become beastly when placed in the right position. Locked in a rusty cage while others taunted and screamed at you from the outside was effective in show. Julia wasn't very eager to enter the Pit.
She would calm herself with her alibi for entering this tournament when her nerves got too active. To retrieve the stolen reforestation data. It was barely a month since the last tournament. Much suspicion surrounded the short time frame in between, and rumors of all sorts bandied about from the appalling to the plain ridiculous—she actually heard mention that a swarm of bears led by Heihachi's former pet stormed the final battle site and extinguished all of the Mishimas!
She let out a woeful sigh as she returned her gaze to the ground. To top everything off, Julia hadn't gotten to visit with her mother in Arizona because of this abruptly initiated tournament. And she'd tried calling but for some reason she only got the answering machine...
Oh, would the rain clouds ever part?
"Joo—lee—ah!"
Julia turned around to her name and was surprised by a rushing blur of pink and squeals. She grunted as she was squeezed by a person she was fairly certain was Xiaoyu. "Hi… Xiao… yu," she managed to choke out.
Xiaoyu released her and hopped up and down, beaming brightly. "I was sooo afraid I was going to be all by myself this time! You see Miharu's family insisted she go to China for her grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary, so she's gone, and I thought I'd have to make friends with some big ol' hairy guy or something! I mean look at these guys. Yuck! You can't imagine how happy I am to see you, Julia-chan!" and she squeezed Julia again for emphasis.
Julia vaguely wondered how Xiaoyu, petite and bearing the look of one who could be easily taken advantage of, managed wandering around these tough crowds alone. Besides her surprising display of strength in a hug… it seemed like she would at least…
Julia's eyes widened very slightly as a wide path was hewed through the crowd, making way for a two-hundred-something pound Giant Panda. Ah, right… Julia recalled Xiaoyu mentioning something about an exotic pet and best friend before…
"Oh! Panda-chan!" Xiaoyu greeted, laughing happily as she finally relinquished Julia to hug the bear.
"Phew," Julia puffed, recovering her missed breaths. Then straightened up to her tiptoes to glance around the room once more, searching the faces as she was suddenly renewed with the hope that there was still time to find everyone else. "So… have you seen any of the other competitors from the last tournament?" she asked, returning her attention to Xiaoyu.
Xiaoyu made a ponderous expression. She looked at Panda, who nodded, igniting a thoughtful look on the Chinese girl's young face. "Ah! You know, I'm pretty sure I saw that boxer guy. The one with the blonde hair and foxy face?" she said with a little giggle. Then she pouted. "But he disappeared before I could get to him and ask for his autograph. Oh well… it looked like he was with someone anyway, and she didn't look like the type I'd want to contend with over any guy."
She was talking about Steve. Could the girl he was with be…
"Hey! Fight! Fight!" a voice suddenly shouted over the buzz of the crowd.
Julia and Xiaoyu looked toward the commotion away from the official ring where the fights were supposed to be conducted.
"You little floozy! Stay the hell away from him!"
"Shut it, bitch! He's the one who was looking at me!"
"Yeah, and wondering where child control is!"
Julia's eyes widened. She craned her neck, trying to see over the crowd that'd now decided to bunch around the voices of two angry girls. "That sounded like Rila," Julia said.
She, Xiaoyu and Panda shoved their way through the smelly hordes until arriving at a small circle where sure enough Rila was, glaring daggers at a small blonde girl who had her nose turned up and her arms crossed imperially. Steve stood behind Rila trying to calm her down without success.
When the two girls became only more riled the longer they were near each other, issuing curses that got more cutting and gestures more threatening, Steve seemed to draw the line and hauled Rila up in his arms.
"Gah! Put me down! I'm gonna teach that little bitch a lesson! Put me down!"
The blonde girl smiled maliciously, and dramatically sighed with a flick of her hair. "Oh, how tough it is to be so popular. Hey, does anyone want to carry my bags to my hotel suite?"
Julia and company managed to tail Steve until they were beyond the smell-incorporated assembly and able to stretch in the refreshingly clean air. Heaving a deep breath, Julia placed her hands on her hips as she looked over her shoulder, so relieved to get away from the "pit" down the sand-colored stairs where handfuls of fighters were duking it out to see who would advance. Julia didn't have to enter the rusty ring until tomorrow, but she'd come to keep an eye out for familiar faces. Like the ones she turned forth again to see.
Rila was chewing into Steve for pulling her away against her wishes but he seemed blissfully unaffected. Julia had to admit...
She felt like she was one step closer to home, standing distantly on the darkened vista.
"I see you've had a change of a heart regarding the penthouse," Julia stated blithely, moving over to the wide windows that overlooked the pearly beach far below.
The group were in the lavishly setup dwelling. Rila sat on the floor between Steve's legs as he lounged back on the couch with an island-style drink in hand. Xiaoyu and Panda were browsing the extensive DVD library filed against one wall, seeming rather elated to find Spirited Away.
Steve laughed. "I guess I got more used to the rich and famous life than I thought. When I had to do without, honestly I felt a little lost. Besides, with all this tournament mayhem, I doubt the mob is going to chance getting involved when cameras are flashing this way and that," he said, and then took a sip from his drink.
Xiaoyu suddenly gasped. "So, you could have a trampoline brought up here? How fun would that be to have one in your 'crib'! You want a fun crib, right?"
"Are you trying to convince me a trampoline is cool?"
"And good for your health!"
Steve and Rila laughed, shaking their heads "no" much to the Chinese girl's disappointment. Julia crossed her arms and turned to face them. "Do any of you find this whole tournament business suspicious?"
"Anything about the Mishimas is suspicious," Rila said dryly.
"No. I mean… whoever wins becomes CEO of the Mishima Zaibatsu. Who could authorize that with Heihachi dead?"
The room was silent as they swam in their own thoughts.
Then suddenly, loudly:
"Maybe it's JIN!" Xiaoyu said excitedly. Before anyone could open their mouth in quiet response, she went on, "No, think about it! He wins Tournament 5 and then maybe because he's so modest or maybe because he doesn't want anything to do with the Zaibatsu he decides to throw another tournament to get it taken off his hands. That sounds possible, right?"
Rila was the first to make a rebuttal with a doubtful "hum". "Yeah, but if he really defeated that Kazuya guy AND Heihachi would he really think that there's anyone else more powerful than himself? We don't even know if it was easy or difficult for Jin to take them out. But I guess there is that wee little possibility he doesn't intend to fight. Then again his body's built for it..."
Xiaoyu slumped again, sighing sadly.
"I guess we can't really figure it out on our own. We don't have enough information," Julia said without emotion, although inside she couldn't stop thinking about what could have happened at Honmaru.
A plague of nightmares set upon her since... well...
Flashback
"I can't leave us like this," he said quietly.
"Jin, what—"
"Shh." He placed a finger upon her lip, shushing her. Then he moved his hand down to her chin and applied a tender kiss to her lips… a passing moment of nothingness and something at the same time that she didn't want to let go of. She felt like she could fall into him, absorbed in the passion that pulled her in through such taintless, beautiful lips. One specific emotion though shined through most to part the dark clouds. Happiness.
He pulled away from her, Julia longing for more as the lingering heat of his touch pressed to her skin like imprints in the sand. Quietude settled where they just saw each other. His eyes intensified, turning darker until color was almost indiscernible. Julia gulped as butterflies decided then to burst to life all at once. Gentle hands moved over hers, pulling them together between them. A steady gaze held her skittish one, silently questioning, asking for something that made her heart race.
There was no sound at all while Julia struggled to understand.
Finally…
She closed her eyes, her lips quivering lightly as she whispered, "I'm sorry, Jin," and turned away.
She didn't want to open her eyes. She didn't want to let go, but her hands slipped from his of their own accord just as her heart broke beneath the swells of angry tides. But what right had she to be angry? There was nothing right in her actions if she couldn't even open her eyes and face the fears whispering through her veins.
Slowly her eyelids parted to find a painfully emotionless face recoiling further into the shadows of her wrecked apartment room. Words failed her although she wished desperately to form at least one.
He spoke before she could. "Don't say anything."
Tears welled in her eyes, searing.
"I feel ashamed of myself… for trying to… taint you."
"No, Jin! That's not—"
"You're precious, and belong in the sun. And you deserve someone who can love you with all of his soul. Something which I cannot do."
With those words ringing through her, he quietly moved around her and disappeared out the door. Julia shivered, left only with that deep voice wracked with heartache cutting through her soul. She hugged herself tightly, shudders of sorrow escaping her throat as she lowered herself to the ground.
There she stayed the rest of the night, like a broken animal.
End Flashback
"…So you're dropping out of the tournament? But… Oh! I saw your fight earlier this morning! You did really well! My stomachs doing somersaults just thinking about getting in the pit myself…"
How could she turn Jin away like that? Julia couldn't express how much she hated herself for doing such a cold-hearted thing…
"You'll do fine. With so many idiots thinking they have what it takes to win swarming the place, chances are you'll get a bunch of pansies for opponents!"
At the time… something had driven her to shy away from Jin. But now, only a month later, she couldn't say why she'd done as such.
"Somehow… that doesn't cheer me up."
She was a terrible person. With each passing day, she believed more and more that she was only taking steps backward. Retreating into a despicable shadow of the person her mother had declared to be so proud of. What could Julia do now? Did she deserve Jin's forgiveness? Did she even want to be forgiven?
"Juliaaa!"
"Julia-chan!"
"She's seems trippy—ah, that's what you Americans say, right? (smack) Ow!"
Julia blinked when someone came up and shook her by the shoulders. She next saw Xiaoyu pouting in front of her face. "Are you okay?" the Chinese girl asked concernedly.
Unnerved that she'd fallen so deep into her thoughts this world disappeared, she moved away from Xiaoyu and turned to face the window, hollow eyes staring onto a horizon that mocked her with its brightness and false promise of paradise.
"I'm sorry. I was just thinking."
Xiaoyu glanced back at Rila and Steve, each exchanging looks of worry and doubt. And Rila already knew something about Julia had changed in one month. Without question, it had to do with that reclusive Kazama.
Somehow Xiaoyu convinced the others to go down to the beach with her when the sun was beginning to set. She giggled and hooted every time she knocked Steve face first into the sand with tricky spikes and serves—they were playing volleyball.
Rila laughed and teased Steve as she passed them with a couple of cold sodas in her hands. "Big bad boxer got no game against the cartwheel girl?"
"Heehee, he's hopeless!" Xiaoyu chirped in agreement. "And when I win this next set, YOU have to get that trampoline I was talking about!"
Steve was blushing beat red and was apparently too flustered to retort to either of his girly tormentors.
Julia just smiled faintly, quietly talking to Panda as she scratched the bear behind her ears. Rila joined them, handing over one of the sodas to Julia before popping hers open. "Ah, and I got this for you, big teddy bear," Rila said, fishing out a box of Nerds and opening it for Panda.
Once set before her, Panda gratefully licked out some of the little candies in moderation.
"Sooo, Julia. I'm intrigued by your wonderfully cheery and peppy mood of late," the younger girl stated with a sarcastic look.
"I think you mean to be speaking to Xiaoyu," Julia responded, still smiling weakly.
"Oh, come on! What, have you joined a cult or something? Stop smiling like that! You're freaking me out!"
Julia just rolled her eyes, and decided then to open her soda.
Rila sighed in annoyance. "Are you holding a candle for that Kazama guy? Bearing his cross? Or are you just pissed at… me?"
"Well, you did ditch me without a single word," Julia stated lightly before relieving her dry throat with some fizzling Sierra Mist.
"I didn't mean to! I just… Heeey. You're just playing, aren't you? How cruel…" Rila gave her a mock-hurt look. She then crossed her legs and leaned back on an arm, the soda resting at her hip in her free hand. Shrewd coppery eyes watched her, working out a puzzle. "But I know what you're doing, and if you think I'm that easily distracted when things are serious, you'd better think twice. It's not good to keep things bottled up inside," she half growled out at last, now leering.
Julia sat up a little more, clenching the bottle in her hands until the whites of her knuckles showed. If her gaze was any more glaring, it'd have set the sand aflame. "Why… do we have to talk about this? There are much more important matters to discuss if you haven't noticed. Who gives a damn about my love life," she tried to say without a trace of care in her voice. But the grit of anger could hardly be ignored, by either of them.
"See? You see what's happening to you? I tell you, absolutely nothing good comes from keeping any of your emotions all pent up like that! Wait. Here, how about a demonstration…"
Before Julia could give the other girl an odd expression for her words, her eyes widened in alarm when she saw the soda pop being shaken like a maraca. And she was far too late to avoid the spew of soda all over her face.
Rila did little to hide her amusement, snickering behind a wicked crescent of white teeth. "Teehee… Ahem. Not too pleasant, is it? Imagine my concern over you becoming Dr. Fizz exploding in my faaa—AHH!"
Xiaoyu and Steve suddenly stopped playing just when the Brit was serving—consequently launching the ball far out into the ocean. Panda was letting out little sounds of aggravation as she hurriedly backed away from the sandy scrap occurring between two hotheaded Arizonans.
Steve was the first to run over just as Julia pinned Rila to the ground and was apparently trying to rattle the other girl's head off. He quickly went to prying them apart, inevitably getting grazed in the crossfire what with these two ladies being established fighters. It cost three close calls to his groin and a little bruising to his face until he could finally pull Rila away while Xiaoyu and Panda blocked one snarly Julia.
"She—She tackled me!" Rila said breathlessly, clearly shocked by the usually rational and composed Julia Chang's behavior.
But who wasn't?
Steve repressed a shudder as he fastened a firm hold over Rila while she calmed down. "What the bloody 'ell was that about?" he finally uttered.
"She's nuts!" Rila choked out, although that strange mix of bewilderment and devious interest on her face hardly attested to innocence.
"There's nothing else to say," Julia huffed.
"You haven't said anything! Stop pretending there's nothing wrong cuz it shows clear as freakin' day. Just because he's out of sight, doesn't mean he's not around, that he can't feel the rhythm of your heartbeat or share your dreams just like you want him to. You know what you need to do so do it already, you nerd!"
Julia scowled and narrowed her eyes momentarily for the tacked on insult. Then her expression softened and her temper cooled as she took in the full extent of the point Rila was trying to get across to her.
A small laugh tickled her throat. She placed a hand over her head, suddenly feeling so stupid. Xiaoyu and Panda backed off just a little, looking ready and raring to intervene if the need arose.
"You're right."
"And another th—Huh? I'm…? Yeah! Damn right I am, for sure!"
Julia smiled, for real this time. She couldn't just wallow in the mire, not when Jin was out there battling his demons alone. No… he had a real devil to fight. All the more reason Julia had to find him. Jin was not evil. Jin would not succumb to it.
Not if Julia had anything to do with it. She just needed to be positive, confident, strong. After all, surely Jin was still fighting the devil... Yes, she believed that.
"So… let's make a pact," she said, turning to face the others. They looked at her in question. "We won't allow the Mishima's ways of evil persist. We'll find a way to put a stop to it no matter what. How's that sound?"
"Eh, smart… for a change," Rila added dryly.
"Yeah! Let's vanquish the evil!" Xiaoyu paused to remember. "And save Jin too!"
Julia held out her hand face down. Rila followed suit first, then a newly happy Xiaoyu, and then… They all looked at Steve.
"Wha? Oh, come on, luv," he said, looking at Rila helplessly, "I'd rather stick nearby the let-out if you know what I mean. This has nothing to do with me! And I have enough on my plate as it…" Rila was giving him one hell of a look. He sighed and unenthusiastically placed his hand on the pile. "Alright, alright, don't throw a wobbly."
Xiaoyu giggled for his "British words". And then Panda announced her want for inclusion, placing a heavy paw on top of Steve's suddenly jittery hand. The ladies just laughed.
"Barmy girls…" Steve muttered.
"Gah! If that was an insult..." Rila said warningly, raising a fist before his face.
Steve balked. "No! Blimey! You're way too ready to wrestle me down, luv. No! OW!"
Julia chuckled. Rila making a pretzel out of a guy almost twice her size and the peppy Chinese girl and her panda cheering her on was an interesting sight.
Smiling softly, she looked toward the setting sun as the wind combed through her hair. Please... wait for me, Jin. I need to express to you what truly exists in my heart.
I need to see you smile...
Next time: Jin soars through the clouds, longing for cleansing. Maybe he's going at things the wrong way, but what other choice does he have? And Julia is ready to rise again, but can she reach Jin before it's too late?
