Old Town New

Chapter 9 - A comedy of Eros

"Roses are red

And ready for plucking

It's Valentines day

So let's get…"

Ianto stopped reading the verse on the card, his cheeks turning pink as he glared at Jack.

Gwen choked on the mouthful of coffee she had just taken, having to put her mug down before she spilled it. The look on Ianto's face was priceless. Beside her, Nicholas looked almost as embarrassed as Ianto. Poor guy, she thought; this time period was a huge culture-shock for him. Modern views on modesty and etiquette- especially Jack and John's- still tended to give him that wide-eyed, I-can't-believe-you-just-said-that look.

"What?" Jack asked innocently.

Ianto sighed. "Don't get that look; you know exactly what."

Jack smiled and sauntered over, stooping to brush a kiss over Ianto's lips. "You know, you're cute when you're embarrassed," he murmured. "I also made us reservations at Bella's for tonight. Happy Valentines day."

Ianto's embarrassment dimmed at that. Bella's was his favourite Italian restaurant, and it was damn near impossible to get a reservation there, especially at this time of year.

"Thank you." Now if only he could get Jack to stop embarrassing him, just because he thought it was cute, he'd be perfect.

Half an hour later, as Ianto finished the last of the reports on his desk, the internal alarm system began a low bleeping sound. He frowned, checking the computer in front of him. In his time here, he had never heard that particular alarm sound, except for testing; it meant that the internal sensors had detected a security breech of non-earthly origin.

Jack and Lizzie were out at present, talking to a witness who had called them regarding a creature he claimed to have seen in his back garden. They weren't convinced he had seen anything out of the ordinary but, as it was a slow day so far, they went to check it out anyway. Gwen was somewhere in the building- she would likely be calling him soon to find out what was happening- and so he logged into the security system in order to do a full sweep of the building.

By the time John came into the room, he had already finished the scan, and called Gwen to let her know that he was going to look into it.

"What's going on? Is there an intruder?"

Ianto shook his head. "I have no idea. The sensors are picking something up but it's so faint that I can't get a proper reading." He checked the screen again. "According to this, it's on this floor, near to the staffroom. I was just about to go check it out."

John headed for the safe set into the wall and collected his pulse-gun, tossing one to Ianto as he quickly checked the safety catch and made sure it was charged.

"Let's go find out, shall we?"

They made their way along the corridors, alert for any sign of the threat, but there was nothing.

"I don't get it," Ianto said to non one in particular. "Where the bloody hell is it?"

John looked around again at the empty corridor. "Are you sure this was where it was detected?"

"I do know how to read a computer screen!"

"No need to get testy, eye-candy. Just asking."

Ianto rounded on John. "How many more times do I have to tell you, space-boy? Stop. Calling. Me. Eye-candy!"

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From the shadows, she watched the two men argue. They shouldn't be so angry at each other, she thought. She smiled to herself; she could fix that.

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"Geez, it's a compliment!"

Ianto flinched and rubbed idly at the back of his neck, the pricking feeling vanishing almost immediately. Why the hell had he been mad at John?

Obviously thinking the same thing, John shrugged his shoulders and, in the same move, advanced on Ianto. Clenching his fists in the lapels of Ianto's suit jacket he dragged him close, their mouths meeting in a bruising kiss. Ianto shifted, turning them without parting their lips, and backed John against the wall. He slipped his hands under John's jacket, pulling their bodies closer as he deepened the kiss.

Adrian rounded the corner just in time to see John's deft fingers removing Ianto's belt, his jacket already abandoned on the floor beside them. The pair were so caught up in their tryst that they never even looked his way. For a second, all he could do was to stare, but then the panic set in.

What the hell was he meant to do about this? Jack was going to be devastated. So was Loz. Bastards! How dare they? And right here in Torchwood, in the open, where anyone could see them.

And now he knew. Why did they have to put him in the middle of this? But now that he knew, he had to tell Jack and Loz, didn't he?

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Adrian felt the odd tingling sensation at the back of his neck and rubbed the area thoughtfully. What had he been doing? He had the feeling that there was something he should be doing but for the life of him, he couldn't remember what it was.

"Adrian? You OK?"

Adrian turned at the sound of the voice and smiled. "I am now that you're here," he purred, reaching out to trail an index finger down Jack's chest as he moved closer.

Jack backed up with each step closer that Adrian took, frowning. "What are you doing?"

"Guess," Adrian teased, smiling as Jack finally ran out of places to back away into, his back coming into contact with the door. "Stop playing hard to get, Jack," he said, and closed the remaining few centimetres between them. One hand on the nape of Jack's neck, Adrian pulled him close and kissed him.

There was a moment where Jack forgot that he was meant to be objecting to this, losing himself in the kiss, before reality hit him once again. Since he couldn't back away, he put both hands to Adrian's chest and pushed him off.

"Oh, so you want to play, do you Jack?"

Jack managed to get out of his grip and sidestepped his next attempt to pull Jack into his arms, holding him at bay.

"Adrian, stop it! Look, I don't know what the hell you're playing at," he said, "but this isn't you. Since when have you been interested in men?"

"But…"

Jack pushed him away again. "Enough." He turned and walked away to go and let Ianto know he was back but he hadn't gone two steps before he heard footsteps behind him.

He sighed. After spending a morning talking to a lonely old man who mistook the neighbours' cat for an alien creature and then wouldn't let them leave until they'd heard his entire life story and drunk endless cups of tea, he really didn't need this. All he wanted was to have some lunch and a bit of quiet time with Ianto but, instead, he walked into weirdness-central.

The third time that Adrian accidentally-on-purpose walked into him, managing to grab Jack's backside as he did so, Jack stopped.

"Stop following me. If I have to handcuff you to a railing to make you stay put, I will."

Adrian grinned cheekily. "Handcuffs?"

Jack just sighed. It wasn't as though Adrian wasn't attractive- if he was being honest, the man was hot- but he was also completely and utterly heterosexual. Which was why Jack was finding it just a little weird that the man was suddenly all over him.

"Have you seen Ianto anywhere?"

Adrian let out a disbelieving 'hmph' sound. "Why? He doesn't deserve you, screwing about with Hart like that."

Jack turned on him, frowning. "What are you talking about?"

"'Saw them before."

Seeing the direction in which Adrian's gaze flicked as he spoke, Jack told him to 'stay' and set off again.

Five minutes later, he wished he hadn't gone looking. He found Ianto sprawled, half-dressed, on the couch in the staffroom, John kneeling before him, head down and bobbing enthusiastically in time to Ianto's happy groans.

Beside him, Adrian looked up at him with huge, sad eyes. "You still want him, don't you? Even after he did this. I would never betray you…"

Jack barged into the room and hauled John up by his hair, ignoring the protests from both men, and shoved him aside.

"Ianto? Him," Jack cast a disgusted look at John, "I expect it from but I thought we… Oh, fuck it!"

Gwen appeared in the doorway just in time to see Jack throw John aside. Before she could make any sense of the scene before her, Jack stopped in mid-shout. He rubbed his neck idly as though trying to brush away an invisible irritation as his eyes settled on John.

The other man flinched, expecting to be hit again, but Jack dragged him to his feet and into tight embrace as he kissed him as though their lives depended on it. From the couch, Ianto watched for a while.

"Hey."

At his words, both Jack and John went back to join him, taking him into their tryst.

Adrian just stood in the doorway, looking miserable as he stared at Jack.

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From her hiding place, she watched. This was wrong, she thought, studying Adrian. He wasn't happy. Humans were supposed to be happy when they were in love, and he was. She had made him be in love but he was still miserable.

She had to try and fix it…

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"What ?" Gwen snapped, her eyes taking in Ianto and John's state of undress as they sank back into a deep kiss on the couch, Jack along with them.

"Good question," a male voice added from behind her.

Gwen turned to Loz, standing with Nicholas and Elizabeth in the doorway. His gaze was fixed on John, betrayal clear in his eyes.

"Right, that's it," Gwen said, getting annoyed. "Jack, hands off; come over here. You two, get dressed and get out here. Now!"

Seeing Adrian beside her, she followed his line of sight and raised an eyebrow. Jack? She recognised that look, but it was one she would never have expected to see him directing at Jack.

Suddenly, the internal alarms began wailing again. Gwen let out a frustrated sound.

"Oh, give me a break! As if we don't have enough problems, what with my bloody medic behaving like a love-struck teenager." Ianto and John had finally reached the door, clothing mostly in tact, and she glared at them. "Don't even get me started on you three! First, fighting and then- This is a workplace! What the bloody hell were you thinking? Or maybe that was the point- you weren't thinking! Or at least not with any part of your anatomy that's capable of making sensible decisions."

"I do not think that it was within their control to make such decisions."

Gwen whirled around to see a young woman standing across the corridor from them. Well, she used the word woman in a rather loose sense. The being across from them had the appearance of a being who knew what a human was meant to look like, and had tried to copy it. Unfortunately, the result was a little unsettling. She was too perfect, looking more like an airbrushed photograph in a magazine than a real person.

"What do you mean?" Gwen asked. "And who are you?"

The woman didn't answer straight away, turning to look around the empty corridor until her gaze fixed on a particular spot. Gwen followed her gaze but there was nothing there.

"I know that you are here," the woman said, and the air shimmered. Gwen stared as a girl appeared, a younger version of the woman before them, appearing to be no more than fourteen or fifteen years old.

"Aysa, is this your doing?"

The girl pouted, then turned her huge blue eyes on the older woman. "I was curious, and they were arguing so I thought I could help. Then they got upset. Aliette, I don't understand."

The woman sighed, casting the girl, Aysa, a look that promised that their conversation was not yet over.

"She is inexperienced," Aliette told Gwen.

"I apologise for the trouble she has caused. Please, tell me what we can do to make amends with you."

Gwen noticed movement out of the corner of her eye and glanced across to see John back Ianto to the wall and kiss him again. She reached out an arm and smacked John hard on the back of the head, making him yelp and release Ianto, before glaring at Jack.

"For goodness' sake, Jack, I can see you! Get your hand out of John's pants."

She turned to the Aliette. "What you can do is tell me who you are and what you did. But first, you can reverse whatever you did to them."

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"Cupids? Like in the stories?" Gwen asked in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me."

The woman shook her head. She was keeping a tight hold on the younger one's hand at present. "I have heard of those stories but, as you can see, they are extremely misguided." She looked over at the four men, now standing obediently behind Gwen, their hands in their pockets. They didn't look happy, but Gwen had threatened to shoot the next person who moved.

"I can reverse the spells; it will render them unconscious temporarily," the woman told them. "When they awaken, they will be back to normal."

Aysa glanced up at her. "I was only trying to make them happy; they were quarrelling and-"

"They always quarrel," Gwen informed her. "It's how they are, but it doesn't mean that they're unhappy."

The men were returned to their rooms, Adrian being put to bed in one of the guest rooms, before Aliette reversed the spell that Aysa had placed on them.

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Ianto awoke to the sound of an alarm clock bleeping irritatingly. Leaning over Jack, he shut it off and flopped back down into the bed, half-tempted to simply drag the covers back over his head and go back to sleep. His head felt fuzzy, like the aftermath of a hangover but with no headache. Then he remembered the dreams. Oh, God, he'd never be able to look John in the eye again. Or Jack. Jack would think it was hilarious that he had been having erotic dreams about John, and him, together. He'd never hear the end of it.

Giving Jack a nudge to wake him up, Ianto got out of bed.

An hour later, they were ready to make their way downstairs. As they left their room, the door opposite opened. Ianto stopped, not meeting John's eyes. Not because of the dream, but because it suddenly hit him that it hadn't been one.

"That was real?" he whispered to Jack, the other man nodding.

Loz came out of the room, almost walking into John since he wasn't paying attention to where he was going and hadn't noticed that the man had stopped.

John smiled at them. "Morning Jack, Eye-candy- sorry, Ianto."

"You know, that doesn't bother me quite as much as it did," Ianto told him.

The unease that Ianto had expected, especially Loz's, never happened. Instead, they sauntered down toward Torchwood together.

"If you ever decide you want a repeat," John began, a teasing smile on his face, "you know where to find me."

Ianto laughed, but as he caught Jack's eye, he could see that they were sharing the same thought. He was tempted. Jack let them get a little way ahead and turned to Ianto.

"No strings," he said. "And nothing comes between us."

Ianto nodded, then called out, "Hey, space-boy?"

John turned.

"'You two got plans for tonight?"

There was a silent conferral between John and Loz, before John grinned. "We do now."

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End.